People always complain that I don’t have a model when it comes to teaching dating/picking up women. Well fuck you, here’s my model.
1. Lifestyle — determines the quality of women you date.
2. Overcoming Anxieties — determines the quantity of women you date.
3. Calibration — determines the efficiency or your meet/dating ratio.
1. Lifestyle — Determines the Quality of the women you date.
The quality of your lifestyle determines the quality of women who will be attracted to you. The unfortunate truth is that PEOPLE (both men and women) rarely, if ever, “date down” in the quality department. Having amazing “game” does very little to change this (we’ll get to that in a minute).
Just like you don’t want to date a frumpy girl who has nothing interesting going for her, really hot women don’t want to date a frumpy guy who has nothing interesting going for him. Good-looking people tend to date one another. Ugly people tend to date one another. Rich people tend to date each other. Poor people tend to date each other. This doesn’t mean you HAVE to be rich and good-looking to score a super hot chick, but it means you have to have SOMETHING going on in this department — amazing hobbies, a slam-dunk career, a wide network of friends who like you, being well-traveled and well-educated, being financially secure, etc. The more you got going on, the better quality you’ll attract.
If you have nothing going on in this department, but you expect to bang models with a bunch of lines you learned off the internet, well you’re in for a long and painful reality-check.
At the same time, having an amazing lifestyle by itself doesn’t mean you’ll get women all the time either (quantity is explained below). There are a lot of good-looking guys and rich guys who don’t get any women. It just determines the quality of your women.
The good news is that it’s much easier for men to change this than women. Being a “good looking” guy is usually as easy as hitting the gym for 6-12 months, cleaning up your diet, buying cool clothes and grooming yourself well. This may sound like a lot, but when you look at what women have to deal with as far as being good-looking, men definitely have the easier path. Women are very limited genetically in how good-looking they can be. Men have a lot more control. You have control over your career. You have control over your friends and hobbies. So ditch the World of Warcraft and hit the gym.
2. Overcome Anxieties — Determines the quantity of women you date.
Most men don’t get laid or don’t get dates because they’re simply not putting the volume in. At the end of the day, this is purely a numbers game, and in the long-run, the more you get out there, the more you’ll get in terms of results. For many guys, this is really ALL they need to learn to do, as they have the other two fundamentals in order.
Approach Anxiety — cripples your ability to meet new women and even having a shot with them. Crucial to overcome at a very early stage to even have a chance of developing a lifestyle filled with women.
Social Anxiety — fear of being around people or expressing yourself. Commonly known as shyness. Seriously destroys your ability to connect with people quickly and deeply, therefore crippling your chance at connecting with women deeply and quickly.
Sexual Anxiety — fear of intimacy and expressing your sexuality towards women. Prevents you from escalating, being sexually aggressive, making the first move, and also seriously debilitates your ability in bed.
Take a moment and imagine that you are FEARLESS with women. You fear absolutely nothing. Going up to any woman doesn’t scare you. You see a girl, and you go. You don’t even think about it. You feel comfortable saying ANYTHING to anyone at any time. You tell girls exactly how you feel, how much you want to fuck them and while you speak to them (with confident posture and eye contact), you touch them liberally. When you get them alone, you never hesitate to make the first move and you never hesitate to bring them to the bedroom. How ridiculous would your love life be? There’d practically be women falling out of the sky.
The quantity of your results is limited by how afraid you are to act.
3. Calibration — determines the effort/reward ratio of the women you date.
This is what is considered by most to be “game” or being “smooth.” How quick are your comebacks? How quickly can you make people feel comfortable around you and like you? How cool are you speaking to large groups of people? How sensitive are you to others emotions and feelings towards you? How able are you to influence those around you?
Calibration determines how efficient you are with women you talk to. A man who is not socially calibrated may need to meet 100 women before he’s able to date one. A man who IS very socially calibrated may only need to meet 5 or 10 before he is able to date one.
All pick up routines, techniques and most theory is just pre-packaged calibration sold to you in ebook form. Some guy somewhere started using a line that worked well for him, so he wrote it down and sold it to you. Now you use it and it may or may not work depending on how well you know when to use it.
Calibration also applies to non-verbal communication… it also applies to recognizing emotions and reaction within yourself. If you’re not aware of your own thoughts and feelings, then you’ll never be able to congruently express them to somebody else.