gorgeous_women_640_22In case you are somehow unaware, my post the other day was, in fact, completely satirical. All of it was satirical. It was not partially true. It was only true in that if you did the exact opposite of everything listed there, you’d probably do pretty well. If you read any of it and thought, “That’s actually kind of true,” then you need to seriously re-evaluate where you’re at and what some of your beliefs are. Because you’re not getting anywhere near one of these girls any time soon.

It was not a joke either. Satire, by definition, is when you mock something in such a way to actually show the truth behind it more clearly. When it comes to getting the ultra hot girls, a lot of guys have some bizarre beliefs and perceptions, and that post was a way of amplifying those perceptions to hopefully show you how ridiculous they are.

But still, it’s one of the most common questions: how do I get the super hot girls? The models. The dancers. The actresses.

Believe it or not this is actually a pretty heavy psychological topic, but I’m going to forgo it for now. I actually plan on addressing this subject more thoroughly in my book, not just because most guys want to be able to get hotter women, but because it’s actually an exemplary situation to demonstrate a lot of points I want to make in the book.

But for now, here is the abridged version. To every guy who has ever wondered how to date models, dancers, actresses, or supposed “high status” girls, read on… It’s actually quite simple.

  1. Step 1: Stop caring how hot they are. This is pretty much 80% of it right here, by itself. This sounds totally counter-intuitive at first, but it’s true. Very, very beautiful women are treated differently their entire lives by men. These men project their fears and fantasies onto these women, and when they approach them, they’re doing it for their own self esteem and validation, not because they actually care what the girl is like or interested in. Do not be this guy. The fact that you are asking yourself if you’re doing it for those reasons means you are guilty of this. I was guilty of this too.The first step to doing this is to ditch the 1-10 scale. Again, I was guilty of this for a long time, but the ratings scale is toxic in so many ways, the worst of which is that it subtly stereotypes behavior based upon appearance. So the fact that you even recognize in your mind that approaching a “10″ to be different than a “7″ is immediately going to affect your behavior towards her. And she’s going to sense this. And not only is she going to sense it, she’s going to know because 98% of men approach her with the idea that they have to treat her differently.

    When you approach, she’s just another girl. You really have to stop caring. I used to get so obsessed about finding “high quality” girls, and I just let it go a little more than a year ago. It’s no coincidence that I pick up the hottest girls of my life now with the less effort than ever before.

  2. Step 2: You have to have your shit together. If there is one thing that’s true about ultra-hot girls, it’s that they have about twice the selection as your normal pretty girl. They meet rich guys all the time. They meet musicians and actors and DJ’s and guys with big muscles and nice cars. It’s not that you need any of this stuff (although it helps), but you cannot have a glaring hole in your lifestyle. You need to have your shit together.FYI: Going out five nights a week and having social proof in a cheesy night club does not qualify as “having your shit together.”

    A nice job you like, a nice place you like, nice friends you like, cool hobbies you like, good health and good shape, and generally a well-adjusted and confident person. Picking up most girls, you can get away without one or a few of that list. Ultra hot girls, you need to have them all handled. You need to be a complete package.

    Look at it from her perspective. The first way she screens men is by confidence and charm. Let’s say she meets 20 men one week and 3 of them are confident and charming and she likes being around them. The first one is VERY good-looking but also unemployed and living with a family friend. He has no car. The second has his life together and is pretty wealthy but is overweight and dresses poorly. The third guy has his life together and is in great shape and takes care of himself.

    All else being equal, she’s going to go with the third. It’s not that looks are ALL that matter, but when she has so many options, she has no reason to ever settle. That’s why you need to be the complete package. You don’t have to look like Brad Pitt, or be a millionaire, or be a world-class athlete or something. You just need to have your shit together. You really can’t have a major hole in your lifestyle.

  3. Step 3: Stop buying into this “high value” nonsense. A hotter girl will not necessarily make you happier than a less hot girl. Any sort of drive or need to fuck hotter girls for the sake of fucking hotter girls and not for the sake of seeking joy, love and connection is a purely selfish endeavor. There is nothing “high value” about a really hot girl, it’s just that guys project their insecurities onto these women and think there’s something valuable about them. If you ask the women themselves, they have no perception of this “value” or “status” in which you speak of. None at all. These are just merit badges in your head, constructed as a sad way to validate yourself.I’ve been with five models (two runway), a cheerleader and a successful stage actress. I’ve been on dates with girls who have been approached 3-5 times WHILE ON THE DATE with me. I’ve dated a girl who dated an NBA basketball player before me. I never, ever, ever, EVER heard one of them speak of men in terms of status or not being cool enough or not being rich enough or good-looking enough to hang out with them. In fact, I never heard any of them say anything derogatory about men hitting on them EXCEPT for the man’s lack of confidence, lack of respect or lack of authenticity around her.

    A typical complaint from a normal girl: “He’s really nice, why doesn’t he ask me out on a date?”
    A typical complaint from a very hot girl: “Ugh, that club-owner keeps flashing his watch as if I give a shit.”

    People really don’t get it, these girls don’t have it that great. Imagine wanting to date a really great guy, someone who actually cares about you, and literally every single guy you meet starts acting like a total idiot trying to impress you or manipulate you into bed. Meanwhile, your friends who aren’t as pretty as you seem to keep meeting really nice normal guys who actually care about them. It’s actually very frustrating. Imagine having EVERYONE evaluate you for how pretty you are and not your personality or what you say. You’d actually be pretty insecure about what people thought of you.

  4. Step 4: Spend Less Time in Night Clubs. Most of the hottest girls don’t enjoy going to night clubs often. They get harassed and a lot of unwanted attention. The hot girls you see at clubs are usually made up: fake tans, fake tits, fake hair, tons of make up. If you saw them on the street, you’d be half as impressed.The best way to meet the hottest girls is day game. Social circle as well if you can get networked with them. Obviously, they’re hard to find and you rarely see them. Unless you live in a large international city such as New York City, LA, Miami, London or Paris, there’s a very good chance that you will go weeks or months between sightings.

Guys always assume, the hotter the girl, the harder she is to get. I suppose on a purely supply/demand level, that’s true. There are fewer hot girls and more guys trying to get them. But they’re really no different. The only thing that’s different is that unlike an average pretty girl who only has 50% of guys she meets put her on a pedestal, the super hot girl has 98% of men she meets put her on a pedestal, so she’s going to see through your bullshit immediately.

And in case you didn’t catch it: The rating scale is a pedestal. The concept of “high value” is a pedestal. Coming up with special lines is a pedestal. The theory behind “negging” is a pedestal. Believing you have to treat her differently in any way is a pedestal.

Cut all of that shit out. Get your life together. Stop caring about looks so much. Treat her like you’d treat anybody else. Stop approaching her to prove something to yourself. Stop treating her like a trophy or an achievement or a merit badge… and just talk to her. Just the fact that you talk to her like a normal human being to will immediately differentiate you from 98% of the other guys she meets.

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27 Responses to The Real Post About Hot Girls

  1. Kevin says:

    You’re talking about seeing hot girls as normal people with problems like everyone else, so you don’t end up putting them on a pedestal.

    I remember when I was a hardcore Nice Guy years ago I took that basic idea in a different, much more useless direction.

    I’d think things like, “Oh, poor hot girls. They just want to find a decent guy who likes them for them and doesn’t just want to get in their pants or use them as a trophy :(”

    And I somehow thought that if I was the sensitive male who knew what they were going through, they’d somehow find me and want to date me for no other reason than I was so understanding and respectful.

    • Mark says:

      The funny thing is, you were still putting them on a pedestal, just in a much more subtle way.

      Any time you differentiate these girls and treat these girls differently based on their looks — whether it’s assuming they have life easy and they need to be negged, or assuming they have life hard and need someone to care about them — you’re putting them on a pedestal and you’re never going to have a chance.

      Super models shit and vomit like the rest of us. Don’t ever forget that.

      • Kevin says:

        Yeah, when I wrote that comment I didn’t totally have my thoughts articulated, but right after I posted it I realized, “Being a nice guy and seeing hot girls as these angels you need to protect is still elevating them”

        You’re still not seeing them as normal human beings. And you’re still wanting to get with them for no reason other than they’re good looking.

        As a Nice Guy I’d see some hot girl and suddenly want to be sensitive and protect her (i.e., be nice as a way of getting in her pants), without knowing a thing about her personality or what she was like as a human being.

  2. Pushit says:

    Definitely needed to hear a lot of what you said. I’ve been really superficial as of late and this is a good reality check.

    I’m starting to find that when it comes to socializing in general, the less I care the better results I get. Judging girls on their hotness is just one example.

  3. David says:

    The hard part is that if a guy has had a dry patch or hasn’t been with a ‘hot girl’ before then it will be difficult for him not to react or treat her differently. It’s probably through sleeping with a few hot girls that you learn how to manage it all.

    • Mark says:

      Yeah, it’s hard. And yeah experience helps…

      So?

      • David says:

        So? That we – coaches + ‘students’ – shouldn’t create this pressure in the first place to be at the destination before we step inside the train.

        You know a little about my story. I have had some beautiful girlfriends in the past but in this ‘pick up era’ of doing lots of approaches for minimal results, I guess the last girl who I was with, who I think is really pretty, got me more affected than I would have been even a year or so ago.

        So we need to keep moving forward but having some tolerance for mistakes. Maybe part of me still hears that RSD coach voice inside telling me I f** up and that I’m a ‘chode’ as a result.

        I guess we gotta do everything in a healthy way..

        • Mark says:

          I’m just saying there’s a fine line between identifying something as being a challenge for you (“this is really hard and I need to work on it more”) and making excuses for yourself (“this is really hard, so no wonder I can’t do it”). Be careful you’re not crossing it.

  4. Leo says:

    “All else being equal, she’s going to go with the third. It’s not that looks are ALL that matter, but when she has so many options, she has no reason to ever settle. That’s why you need to be the complete package. You don’t have to look like Brad Pitt, or be a millionaire, or be a world-class athlete or something. You just need to have your shit together. You really can’t have a major hole in your lifestyle.”

    It’s funny that you mention this. Some hot girls or even worse some girls that THINK they are hot but they aren’t; don’t have they shit together. I’ve dealt with few hot girls that think because thay are hot they don’t need to improve as a person and take everything for granted. These girls are usually annoying and spoiled. What a pain! Another reason why you can’t put a woman on a pedestal just for how she looks.

  5. Fred says:

    I have to say that “my” city Stockholm has a lot of these “very hot girls”… You def should visit Sweden sometime dude :)

  6. Artem says:

    Hot girls _generally_ lack something in other departments, which is not to say you shouldn’t want them. In my life, I’ve learned that in a woman you can choose two out of the three: looks, personality or smarts (=education/career/money/intelligence). You cannot have all 3 together. It happens, but literally as rarely as another movie star is born.

    - I’ve known a lot of hot girls who had smarts, education and were career oriented, and most of them were total bitches. And they could easily pretend to be the sweetest people in the world when it suited them, too. See McCartney and Gibson.

    - Of course, there are thousands of women that have great personalities and good careers, but they usually lack distinguished looks. The most I could say about one of these is ‘cute’. They make great wives if you can compromise on looks.

    - My current girlfriend falls into the third category. She is insanely hot, used to be a model, has a personality of an angel, but has no money, good education or career prospects whatsoever. I personally couldn’t be happier, but some people don’t understand my choice.

    I don’t know why it happens. It’s probably because having any 2 of these 3 is enough to get a lot of men interested, so there’s no reason to develop, say, nice personality if a girl is already hot and has a career. Au contraire, if the looks are nothing special, both great personality and maturity/independence will be needed to attract a great guy.

    Needless to say, the majority of women have maybe one of these qualities, and some have none. Any woman who has two would be considered a great catch by most.

  7. elderado says:

    These guys worship girls

    I couldn’t help but laugh at this, figured this applied to point #1

  8. sandrosteeth says:

    Its sad to find out alot of other guys talk on “9s and 10s” and its utter crap rehashed.

    I like this article very much for its practicality and it make sense to me.

    In real life, its so totally different when you experience it as someone who is going out and experince that anxiety when you see hotness and when they are so close to you infront of you,
    that you either become so shy or coward to even avoid eye contact or just looking at her or checking her out and it makes it such a huge step just to start a conversation with these women.To make matters worse,to then to justify your reason from not taking action,guys tend to PUA theory of “not showing interest”. no talk, no nothing….”Im higher value”.

    OUCH!

    I will say this,Alot of them I met havent slept with any( yet.need coaching and cojones.lol).

    The ones I met are either too overly confident in themselves with high self esteem and know they are hot.
    or are either kindah airhead but are super attentive when it comes to being materialistic.

    I love this new material man. Keep rollin’ it !

  9. Matt T says:

    Great article, Entropy, but this paragraph really bugged me.


    I’ve been with five models (two runway), a cheerleader and a successful stage actress. I’ve been on dates with girls who have been approached 3-5 times WHILE ON THE DATE with me. I’ve dated a girl who dated an NBA basketball player before me. I never, ever, ever, EVER heard one of them speak of men in terms of status or not being cool enough or not being rich enough or good-looking enough to hang out with them. In fact, I never heard any of them say anything derogatory about men hitting on them EXCEPT for the man’s lack of confidence, lack of respect or lack of authenticity around her.”

    If you were a man who considered a particular girl beneath him (so to speak), would you vocalize your discontent and say “I don’t think you’re hot enough to be sexually involved with me”? Hell no.

    Then why would a girl vocalize her complaints about a man’s lack of status?

    • Mark says:

      They’ve never said that to me speaking about other men. Their complaints are never things like, “Yeah, that guy asked me out, but he was too ugly for me.”

      It’s always been stuff like, “He asked me out, but it felt like he was trying way too hard.”

      Or “He asked me out, but he was really rude.”

  10. Michael says:

    “I’ve been with five models (two runway), a cheerleader…”

    Am I a HB10 and you are trying to seduce me? You are a little bit creepy. ;-)

  11. Michael says:

    Anyway, what I wanted to say about treating them specially: The guys who deserve and get really hot babes, dont have to treat them any different or “neg” them. They have a completly different mindset. Just imagine Brad Pitt or a hedge fund manager telling girl girl how beautiful her hair is only to ask her if they are extensions.

  12. Matty says:

    Great post. I think another problem that comes with ranking girls on a scale is that it changes some of our motivation for wanting them, i.e. if we get a “10″ our guy friends will think we’re the shit. This just puts unnecessary pressure on you to live up to some arbitrary expectation. If your going to go after a 10, you should be doing it because YOU want her, or there’s something about her that interests YOU, and try not to worry to much about how cool people will think you are because your walking around with a model in tow.

  13. Andy V says:

    Hey Guys, I’ve read a lot comments about HB Scales in Mark’s posts. Especially in this one and the sarcastic one about “Hot Babes”. So I wanted to share a video with you, that discusses this topic and it helped me a lot… Tell me what you think about it

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XDujTDXN0Ng

  14. Kevin says:

    Mark

    Yes this is a great post but I have a question about hot women that are online. They seem uber picky and I personally have been turned down by many due to not being their “physical type.” This does not seem to have anything to do with confidence per say, it seems more so preference. I approach them. What is your take with hot women that are online?

    • Mark says:

      Online is a whole different ball-game. The medium itself encourages people to screen each other based on superficial criteria like looks, money-earned, etc.

      Honestly though, the hottest girls are never on dating sites.

  15. M. says:

    If a guy indeed “stops caring how hot she is,” why would he bother to pursue her? (After all, “super hot” girls, on average, are probably not as interesting – in conversation, in bed, in everyday life – as “normal pretty” ones. That is because more physically attractive people usually achieve material goods and successes, including “very hot” mates, with considerably less effort that less attractive people – i.e. less self-development. This, on average, makes for a less developed and interesting personality.) So why would he still pursue her – to make his pals jealous?.. Be honest: what you really mean is, a guy should *act as if* he does not care, *as if* the very hot girl is not on a pedestal. Which is very akin to negging, but, if done smartly, should indeed work.

  16. M. says:

    If a guy indeed “stops caring how hot she is,” why would he bother to pursue her? (After all, “super hot” girls, on average, are probably not as interesting – in conversation, in bed, in everyday life – as “normal pretty” ones. Compared to less physically attractive people, the more attractive ones usually achieve material goods and successes – including “very hot” mates – by making considerably less effort, i.e. achieving less self-development. This, on average, makes for a less interesting personality.) So why would he still pursue her – just to make his pals jealous?.. Be honest: what you really mean is, a guy should *act as if* he does not care, *as if* the very hot girl is not on a pedestal. Which is very akin to negging, but, if done smartly, should indeed work.

  17. Lele says:

    Your advice is sound, however you are off-track here:

    Quote: “I never, ever, ever, EVER heard one of them speak of men in terms of status or not being cool enough or not being rich enough or good-looking enough to hang out with them. In fact, I never heard any of them say anything derogatory about men hitting on them EXCEPT for the man’s lack of confidence, lack of respect or lack of authenticity around her.”

    So, since they never said anything, does that means they have no such thoughts? Naive. They don’t verbalize their displeasure from many approaches because they are so overwhelmed by them that such approaches don’t even register. On the other hand, a woman who’s approached less and thus is less desensitized is going to verbalize more.

  18. niggles says:

    Mark — Do you still stand behind the content of your Approaching Women Program? It sounds like your thinking about pickup/seduction/approaching has really evolved, and I’m wondering if the program is kind of a relic of your old thoughts. I ask because I’m on the fence; I have trouble approaching women, but at the same time I’m thinking that it’s not something I should fixate on (I should focus on lifestyle instead).

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