49 Responses to Podcast: The Dating Advice Episode

  1. jay says:

    Great job! Keep it coming!

  2. PATROn of corona says:

    Awesome podcast, a lot of wisdom in there, thank you!

  3. Elizabeth says:

    Great podcast! Something I want to add: women who adopt the “men are all scumbags” mentality typically have a long history of bad experiences/relationships with men. But for the most part I think women say that to vent when they’re upset or have been hurt, but don’t actually believe that all men are actual horrible people. Maybe that’s just me.

    On another note, I appreciate hearing what guys wish women knew. I’m guilty of expecting guys to read my mind and labeling certain guys who hit on me as “creepy.” So thanks!

  4. Pellaeon says:

    I have a question that departs pretty radically from the usual themes of the site:

    Do you have any suggestions on sharing one’s experiences with trying to get dates in a non-heteronormative manner?

    Now that I am confident in my ability to flirt, Ive felt more comfortable talking about my dating experiences. I’ve noticed though that I have the tendency to assume the other person is straight, and I don’t want to alienate anyone with differing sexual preferences.

    • Mark Manson says:

      Same concepts apply. Just come out with it… it’s more a question of when that I think is more appropriate. I think mentioning it on the first or second date would be most appropriate. I’m assuming this is a current part of your identity and not some sexual questioning from you past.

      But it comes back to polarization, if a woman is going to ditch you because you experimented with homosexuality or are bisexual, then that’s a woman who isn’t going to make you happy. So you may as well find out sooner rather than later. If she rejects you for it, then she wasn’t the right one for you.

      • Pellaeon says:

        I think there’s been some confusion on the intent of my post, and rereading it now I can see why. Let me rephrase:

        When I’m talking to my male friends about my experiences trying to meet women, and I want to encourage them to share their experiences with dating- how can I do so in such a way that will not make assumptions on their sexual orientation, and that communicates a safe space to share non-traditional experiences?

        • Rich Duncan says:

          “Most” guys don’t share a lot of these experiences. I don’t think it is completely the fisherman theory where by a good fisherman does not tell the other fisherman where and how to catch the fish, but there is always a chance your friends feel that way. Personally my long time friends have a hard time talking to me about these things because they “think” that I have no problems meeting women. I try to tell them the best way to meet women is to NOT TRY SO HARD. Try … but not like your life depends on it.

          I don’t believe MOST guys ever feel confident enough in themselves to talk about their failures. I also believe a lot of triumphs for guys, depending their on confidence level, can seem like failures or “defeats”.

          In general I think your dating goals may also be different than those of your friends. That could also keep them quiet on the subject.

          If you do not know the sexual orientation of your friend I can only imagine it means that they are possibly in the closet, at which point they most likely are not ready to discuss this subject.

        • TruthSeeker says:

          If they’re your friends, you should know their sexual orientation. And I don’t get why do you care so much about that. If when I’m talking to my friends I had to worry not to start a topic about something that one of the friends might not be into, so he doesn’t get bored for 1 minute, I’d go crazy. If it bothered them, they would probably tell you.

          • Pellaeon says:

            Hey Rich & Truthseeker, thanks for your replies. I’m speaking less about close friends, and more about surface level friends that I am starting to get to know better. When I start to trust someone more and want to establish a deeper friendship, dating is one of the first topics I like to share since it’s been such a struggle until the past few years, and I find it liberating to talk about.

            I care because I know how much it pained me to feel like I couldn’t talk about my lack of dating experiences while I was still struggling. With as heteronormative as mainstream American culture is, I’d like to make sure I’m doing what I can to ease the pain of feeling alienated for anyone I’m trying to get to know better.

  5. Mark says:

    Recently came across your work. Very refreshing, so I’m glad to have found this blog. Just keep it up. Looking forward to more.

  6. Mark says:

    I just finished your book, Models. I would like to see more information on the site regarding your concept of polarization.

    • PATROn of corona says:

      +1

      Maybe explaining polarization from different angles, and with stories, would make it finally sink in lol

  7. sandros-- says:

    Mark your voice is much deeper and smooth tone, wow youve worked on your voice too I can tell :) look forward to our 1 on 1 coaching time.Thanks.-S

  8. Alexei Soma says:

    Mark, if you could do a whole episode on vulnerability, that would be amazing. I’ve read the book, but there’s something about actually HEARING it from the… er… horse’s mouth that’s really powerful and transformative. Also, a whole episode on cold approaching, one on overcoming approach anxiety, one on overcoming sexual shame, one on emotional needs in dating. Basically, everything you write about could be made way more powerful by listening to it as a podcast.

    Really excited to listen to more.

  9. Traindom says:

    Hey Mark! It’s interesting that you mentioned testosterone decreasing over time, but I recently found a study that suggests that testosterone does not necessarily wane with age: http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/247013.php

    It could have more to do with behaviors than just age.

  10. Jack says:

    I wish there had been less “theoretical” questions.

    • Zac says:

      We really couldn’t help what questions the readers sent in. If you have some you’d like answered please do ask them here.

      • Jack says:

        Yes but you don’t have to choose questions with no right answer!

        CUT! CUT!

        I enjoyed it though, it was kind of funny, there was a specific sentence where Marks like “you have to make sure you treat her as a human being, she has to feel like you care about her rather than just wanting to stick your dick in her….”

        I’m just texting this girl right now and keep being really sexual and haven’t made any real effort to get to know her so that really stood out for me. thanks.

    • Mark Manson says:

      I suppose I could have given more specific examples.

  11. Arn says:

    Some suggestions for interviews:
    – Mystery (Erik von Markovik)
    – Tyler Durden from RSD
    – Eric Thomas the hiphop preacher
    – Giavani Ruffin from takenodaysoff.com
    – Ken Wilber
    – Michael Jordan
    – Dr. Wayne Dyer
    – The interns of Postmasculine
    – Tony Robbins
    – Muhammad Ali
    – Dr. Robert Glover

    Even though these people all have different backgrounds etc. my guess is that it would be nice to hear their expertise applied within the focus of postmasculine (i.e. radical self-improvement for men).

  12. DO says:

    if you are already connecting, is it too late to say that you find them attractive? cause it could be like you purposely waited for good vibes before taking a risk.

  13. PATROn of corona says:

    GREAT Episode!

    A question for your, hopefully upcoming, podcast on travel.

    I know you emphasize dressing well, and not being afraid to stand out. Do you dress well and stand out when you are in a “less than safe” place? Doesn’t that attract more trouble than it is worth?

    Or do you simply not walk around much, preferring taxis to stay safe?

    A podcast on the best travel tips, and how do you actually plan your trips, and go about exploring the great places you visit, will be an amazing idea!

  14. Richard says:

    Help! Episode 2 is not showing up through iTunes.

  15. Chaos says:

    Well, I think it’s kind of obvious, having Clarisse on the next podcast would be just AMAZING, and it just makes sense.

    Great podcast, I really liked it and it was really funny. I read that comment on the other podcast and I understand but I want more Zac in these podcast. I mean, “doing activities” was one of the funniest moments of the podcast (not to mention the “your mic is off dude”)… It’s not necessarily about him giving his opinion (although I kind of value it too) but I think he can just develop the question itself with more questions from his point of view. I definitively got the impression he was refraining from participating more.

  16. Andy says:

    Good podcast. It answered a few dating questions I had once and for all. Thanks! And yes, another one on relationships would be great. And one on online business.
    Travel. Style & Grooming. Health. Fitness. Confidence. Happiness… 😉

  17. j-dog says:

    how bout an interview with a girl demonstrating how to build deep connection and usage of humour ?

  18. Matt Butson says:

    I would love to hear from James Marshall or Jason Savage.

    Emphasis on the later.

  19. Hey Mark, great site and solid podcast. You’re a good writer!

    I’d love to see a bit more material geared to those readers/followers who have developed self confidence and are having success with women and life, but still want to continue learning and growing. I’m thinking of topics like how to determine if a woman is ‘girlfriend material’ and how to weigh factors to figure out if it’s worth it to ‘go for it’ with a woman you’ve spent a limited amount of time with. Picking up women is just the beginning-meeting one that is a keeper is still the endgame (for most of us). If you already have some posts in this direction, a point in the right direction would be much appreciated. Cheers!

    Jake (Berlin via Boston)

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