New podcast this week. About a month ago, when I asked the readers what they’d like to hear me talk about, I got a LOT of dating-related questions from men. It makes sense, considering this site began as a dating and pick up site for men years ago. So I figured I would knock as many of the dating questions out in one go.
Almost all of the questions were asked and answered for men. But women may find listening to a man’s perspective interesting.
Some of what’s covered in this episode:
- How to flirt naturally without scripted lines or coming off as “try hard.”
- What introversion is and how it affects your dating opportunities.
- Is it possible to “outgrow” the player lifestyle?
- Mark’s take on humor, teasing, and online dating.
- Is dating a “numbers game,” and what this means for you.
- What Mark wished more women knew about men.
- And more…
Length: 29 minutes, 15 seconds
You can listen to it above or you can download it directly below. Right click the link below and click “Save As” and then a location on your hard drive.
You can subscribe on iTunes here.
Please leave comments and questions for future podcasts. We’re still learning how to do this and would like to get better.
Previous podcasts:
Handling Your Emotions
Get your dating life handled. Become an attractive man once and for all, without faking it or pretending to be someone you’re not.
Models: Attract Women Through Honesty has been referred to as the best book in the field by many, and has received five-star reviews from all over the world.
Great job! Keep it coming!
Awesome podcast, a lot of wisdom in there, thank you!
Great podcast! Something I want to add: women who adopt the “men are all scumbags” mentality typically have a long history of bad experiences/relationships with men. But for the most part I think women say that to vent when they’re upset or have been hurt, but don’t actually believe that all men are actual horrible people. Maybe that’s just me.
On another note, I appreciate hearing what guys wish women knew. I’m guilty of expecting guys to read my mind and labeling certain guys who hit on me as “creepy.” So thanks!
Have Elizabeth as a guest!
As the saying goes, behind every lying asshole, there was an evil bitch, behind every evil bitch, there was a lying asshole.
I have a question that departs pretty radically from the usual themes of the site:
Do you have any suggestions on sharing one’s experiences with trying to get dates in a non-heteronormative manner?
Now that I am confident in my ability to flirt, Ive felt more comfortable talking about my dating experiences. I’ve noticed though that I have the tendency to assume the other person is straight, and I don’t want to alienate anyone with differing sexual preferences.
Same concepts apply. Just come out with it… it’s more a question of when that I think is more appropriate. I think mentioning it on the first or second date would be most appropriate. I’m assuming this is a current part of your identity and not some sexual questioning from you past.
But it comes back to polarization, if a woman is going to ditch you because you experimented with homosexuality or are bisexual, then that’s a woman who isn’t going to make you happy. So you may as well find out sooner rather than later. If she rejects you for it, then she wasn’t the right one for you.
I think there’s been some confusion on the intent of my post, and rereading it now I can see why. Let me rephrase:
When I’m talking to my male friends about my experiences trying to meet women, and I want to encourage them to share their experiences with dating- how can I do so in such a way that will not make assumptions on their sexual orientation, and that communicates a safe space to share non-traditional experiences?
“Most” guys don’t share a lot of these experiences. I don’t think it is completely the fisherman theory where by a good fisherman does not tell the other fisherman where and how to catch the fish, but there is always a chance your friends feel that way. Personally my long time friends have a hard time talking to me about these things because they “think” that I have no problems meeting women. I try to tell them the best way to meet women is to NOT TRY SO HARD. Try … but not like your life depends on it.
I don’t believe MOST guys ever feel confident enough in themselves to talk about their failures. I also believe a lot of triumphs for guys, depending their on confidence level, can seem like failures or “defeats”.
In general I think your dating goals may also be different than those of your friends. That could also keep them quiet on the subject.
If you do not know the sexual orientation of your friend I can only imagine it means that they are possibly in the closet, at which point they most likely are not ready to discuss this subject.
If they’re your friends, you should know their sexual orientation. And I don’t get why do you care so much about that. If when I’m talking to my friends I had to worry not to start a topic about something that one of the friends might not be into, so he doesn’t get bored for 1 minute, I’d go crazy. If it bothered them, they would probably tell you.
Hey Rich & Truthseeker, thanks for your replies. I’m speaking less about close friends, and more about surface level friends that I am starting to get to know better. When I start to trust someone more and want to establish a deeper friendship, dating is one of the first topics I like to share since it’s been such a struggle until the past few years, and I find it liberating to talk about.
I care because I know how much it pained me to feel like I couldn’t talk about my lack of dating experiences while I was still struggling. With as heteronormative as mainstream American culture is, I’d like to make sure I’m doing what I can to ease the pain of feeling alienated for anyone I’m trying to get to know better.
Recently came across your work. Very refreshing, so I’m glad to have found this blog. Just keep it up. Looking forward to more.
I just finished your book, Models. I would like to see more information on the site regarding your concept of polarization.
+1
Maybe explaining polarization from different angles, and with stories, would make it finally sink in lol
Mark your voice is much deeper and smooth tone, wow youve worked on your voice too I can tell
look forward to our 1 on 1 coaching time.Thanks.-S
Worked on his voice? His voice isn’t naturally that sexy?
Is there a “Shut Up and Talk Smoother Than Gravy” article I missed?
Yum, gravy.
Mark, if you could do a whole episode on vulnerability, that would be amazing. I’ve read the book, but there’s something about actually HEARING it from the… er… horse’s mouth that’s really powerful and transformative. Also, a whole episode on cold approaching, one on overcoming approach anxiety, one on overcoming sexual shame, one on emotional needs in dating. Basically, everything you write about could be made way more powerful by listening to it as a podcast.
Really excited to listen to more.
Hey Mark! It’s interesting that you mentioned testosterone decreasing over time, but I recently found a study that suggests that testosterone does not necessarily wane with age: http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/247013.php
It could have more to do with behaviors than just age.
Very interesting.
I wish there had been less “theoretical” questions.
We really couldn’t help what questions the readers sent in. If you have some you’d like answered please do ask them here.
Yes but you don’t have to choose questions with no right answer!
CUT! CUT!
I enjoyed it though, it was kind of funny, there was a specific sentence where Marks like “you have to make sure you treat her as a human being, she has to feel like you care about her rather than just wanting to stick your dick in her….”
I’m just texting this girl right now and keep being really sexual and haven’t made any real effort to get to know her so that really stood out for me. thanks.
I suppose I could have given more specific examples.
Some suggestions for interviews:
- Mystery (Erik von Markovik)
- Tyler Durden from RSD
- Eric Thomas the hiphop preacher
- Giavani Ruffin from takenodaysoff.com
- Ken Wilber
- Michael Jordan
- Dr. Wayne Dyer
- The interns of Postmasculine
- Tony Robbins
- Muhammad Ali
- Dr. Robert Glover
Even though these people all have different backgrounds etc. my guess is that it would be nice to hear their expertise applied within the focus of postmasculine (i.e. radical self-improvement for men).
Dude, the day I can convince Michael Jordan, Tony Robbins and Muhammad Ali to come on my podcast, I’ll retire and go live on a deserted island somewhere.
I’d also like to suggest.
Barack Obama
Natalie Portman
Patan Manning
Donald Trump
Frodo
Reincarnated Einstein
And OF COURSE: pickup jesus
AND pickuo jesus
Ahem… Tom Brady.
Frodo never got laid.
Not quite sure about that http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lMTGhb0BLeY
Touche.
Zac, that is amazing.
There used to be a much funnier one cut up with all the emotional scenes of them together.
I must find it. Lol, It reminds me of this video of Power Rangers being voiced-over.
if you are already connecting, is it too late to say that you find them attractive? cause it could be like you purposely waited for good vibes before taking a risk.
You’re overthinking this.
GREAT Episode!
A question for your, hopefully upcoming, podcast on travel.
I know you emphasize dressing well, and not being afraid to stand out. Do you dress well and stand out when you are in a “less than safe” place? Doesn’t that attract more trouble than it is worth?
Or do you simply not walk around much, preferring taxis to stay safe?
A podcast on the best travel tips, and how do you actually plan your trips, and go about exploring the great places you visit, will be an amazing idea!
Help! Episode 2 is not showing up through iTunes.
Working on it! Sorry. This shouldn’t be an issue in the future.
Well, I think it’s kind of obvious, having Clarisse on the next podcast would be just AMAZING, and it just makes sense.
Great podcast, I really liked it and it was really funny. I read that comment on the other podcast and I understand but I want more Zac in these podcast. I mean, “doing activities” was one of the funniest moments of the podcast (not to mention the “your mic is off dude”)… It’s not necessarily about him giving his opinion (although I kind of value it too) but I think he can just develop the question itself with more questions from his point of view. I definitively got the impression he was refraining from participating more.
I’ve already talked to Clarisse and she’s agreed to be on a podcast. Not sure if it’ll be the next one, but she’s definitely coming on at some point.
Good podcast. It answered a few dating questions I had once and for all. Thanks! And yes, another one on relationships would be great. And one on online business.
Travel. Style & Grooming. Health. Fitness. Confidence. Happiness…
how bout an interview with a girl demonstrating how to build deep connection and usage of humour ?
I would love to hear from James Marshall or Jason Savage.
Emphasis on the later.
Hey Mark, great site and solid podcast. You’re a good writer!
I’d love to see a bit more material geared to those readers/followers who have developed self confidence and are having success with women and life, but still want to continue learning and growing. I’m thinking of topics like how to determine if a woman is ‘girlfriend material’ and how to weigh factors to figure out if it’s worth it to ‘go for it’ with a woman you’ve spent a limited amount of time with. Picking up women is just the beginning-meeting one that is a keeper is still the endgame (for most of us). If you already have some posts in this direction, a point in the right direction would be much appreciated. Cheers!
Jake (Berlin via Boston)
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