There are a lot of terms in my book Models: Attract Women Through Honesty. Some of them are psychological terms. Others are terms I came up with to describe certain dynamics. A number of readers get confused at times so I put together a glossary of terms from the book for reference. The glossary is included in all future purchases of the book. For people who have already bought it, the entire glossary is posted below. Enjoy.
Anxiety – A general emotional state of fear and apprehension brought on repeatedly by a certain situation. See Also: Sexual Anxiety, Social Anxiety
Arousal – The process in which someone is sexually stimulated, physically, psychologically or emotionally. Current research posits women are primarily aroused through displays of sexual intent and bold behaviors. See Also: Sexual Intent, Courage
Assortment Effect – The psychological term for the observed tendency for men and women of similar beliefs and self-perceptions to attract one another. For instance, a man with low self-esteem will attract women with low self-esteem. A man with a positive attitude towards sex will attract women with positive attitudes towards sex. See Also: Demographics
Attractive Behavior – Non-needy behavior, both in one’s every day life, as well as direct interactions with women. Attractive behavior is usually perceived as being confident, although not always. See Also: Lifestyle, Neediness
Boundaries – The limit of interaction and communication one finds acceptable. Boundaries can be strong or weak based upon the person’s self-esteem. For instance, John has low self-esteem and therefore lets his dates make fun of him without saying anything. Sally has high self-esteem and does not tolerate her date being 20 minutes late to pick her up. See Also: Self Esteem
Confidence – One’s belief in their ability and competence in a certain situation. Confidence is context-dependent. One can be confident in a boardroom but horribly unconfident in a sexual relationship. Confidence is often confused with self-esteem. Lack of confidence in romantic situations is a reflection of neediness, which is a component of low self-esteem. Confident behavior is almost always considered attractive. See Also: Neediness, Self Esteem
Courage – The ability to perform an action despite feeling fear and anxiety about it. See Also: Anxiety
Creepy – To express one’s sexuality in such a way that makes a woman uncomfortable or less secure. Creepiness can happen consciously or unconsciously. See Also: Sexual Intent, Flirting
Dating Success – Maximizing one’s happiness with the woman/women one chooses. It is important to note that it is NOT determined by numbers, sexual encounters, appearances, etc., but by happiness and only happiness.
Defense Mechanisms – Psychological reactions to anxiety that cause one to avoid taking action. Examples include blame, anger, projection, rationalizations, apathy, etc. People with courage learn to fight through their defense mechanisms. See Also: Anxiety, Courage
Demographics – The idea that you will experience greater success (happiness) and efficiency by pursuing women in areas of your life that you excel at or enjoy. For instance, if you are a musician, then you are more likely to experience dating success by meeting women at concerts and music events. See Also: Assortment Effect, Lifestyle
Emotional Connection – A mutual emotional investment between two people. This investment generates a feeling of closeness and greater empathy. Can often trigger arousal and sexual desire as well.
Fake Alpha Males – Men who over-compensate for their low self-esteem and neediness by imposing their will and needs onto others unnecessarily. Fake Alphas are often preoccupied with sleeping with as many women as possible. Fake Alpha Male behavior is often promoted within the Pick Up Artist industry and the so-called “man-o-sphere.” Fake Alpha behavior is confident but still needy and low self-esteem. Fake Alphas experience short-term sexual success but long-term emotional dysfunction. See Also: Self Esteem, Neediness, Pick Up Artist
Finding Your Truth – A two-part process of 1) removing behaviors which are based on receiving the approval of others and 2) getting in touch with emotions and desires which were previously unconscious. Finding one’s truth is based on the idea that most of our behaviors and beliefs are actually unconscious habits we picked up for the wrong reasons throughout our lives. Getting in touch with one’s real emotions and desires and discarding with the needy habits and behaviors leads one to become more vulnerable, less needy, and therefore more attractive. See Also: Attractive Behavior, Non-Neediness, Vulnerability
Flake – A specific form of rejection: when a woman demonstrates interest or says she will see you again and then never does.
Flirting – The demonstration of sexual intent in a fun and playful manner. Successful flirting is the opposite of creepy and makes women feel secure with your intent. See Also: Creepy, Sexual Intent
Friction – Circumstances and causes that prevent sexual escalation from occurring despite there being mutual attraction. For example, two people may be very attracted to one another but one is married and the other lives in another town, so nothing happens.
Lifestyle – A blanket term for the quality and type of activities, interests and people one spends the majority of their time engaging in. Your profession, the place you live, hobbies, friends, and weekend trips are all components of your overall lifestyle. Your lifestyle is a reflection of your values and self-esteem and also determines your demographics. A lifestyle can be based upon needy behavior (i.e., dressing a certain way or driving a certain car in order to impress women). See Also: Demographics
Limiting Beliefs – Irrational beliefs that inherently prevent one from being successful at something. Limiting beliefs are almost always untrue and results of defense mechanisms and a lack of courage. An example is a man who believes that women will never be attracted to him because he’s too short, therefore he doesn’t even try. See Also: Defense Mechanisms, Courage
Neediness – Neediness is being more invested in the perception of others have of you than your perception of yourself. Neediness is a result of low self-esteem and leads to unattractive behavior. See Also: Non-Neediness, Attractive Behavior, Self Esteem
Non-Neediness – Being more invested in your perception of yourself than the perceptions others have of you. Non-neediness is one component and result of high self-esteem and the root of all attractive behavior. Non-neediness is achieved through practicing vulnerability. See Also: Attractive Behavior, Neediness, Self Esteem
Objectification – The decision to view women and social interactions as impersonal processes and objects rather than people and emotional activities. Seeing women as numbers, subjects to be studied, games to be won, etc., are all common ways which men objectify their sexual and emotional lives. Emotions are ignored and discouraged from being expressed. Pick Up Artists and Fake Alpha Males both encourage objectification in order to achieve short-term sexual success. Objectification causes long-term emotional damage and can lead to depression and lower levels of self-esteem and higher neediness. This is the reason for the paradoxical situation many long-time Pick Up Artists and Fake Alpha Males find themselves in: they have many sexual partners but are actually less happy than they were when they started. See Also: Fake Alpha Males, Pick Up Artists
Pain Period – The period of time when one begins to open themselves up emotionally and make themselves more vulnerable to others. This temporarily causes one to behave in a less attractive manner as they sort through years of emotional baggage and prior life traumas. It’s usually a period accompanied by a lot of emotional stress and pain. The pain period is necessary to go from a low self-esteem and needy person to a high self-esteem and non-needy person. See Also: Vulnerability, Non-Neediness
Pick Up Artist – A school of dating advice primarily based on the teachings of Erik von Markovik (Mystery) and Neil Strauss (Style), as well as Real Social Dynamics. Pick Up Artists are characterized by their own specific lingo and measurement for success, which is getting laid as much as possible. Pick Up Artists objectify their emotional and sexual lives and therefore cause long-term psychological damage to themselves despite often remedying short-term emotional problems. Many Pick Up Artist teachings encourage Fake Alpha Male behavior. See Also: Fake Alpha Male, Objectification
Polarization – Behavior that forces a woman to feel strongly about you, whether positive or negative. Polarization is useful for screening out women who are not compatible with you very quickly. Polarization not only invites rejection, but uses it as a tool to achieve dating success efficiently. See Also: Assortment Effect, Demographics, Rejection
Projection – A common defense mechanism used by both men and women to avoid anxiety. Projection is when you perceive the source of your anxiety to have the insecurity rather than yourself. For instance, an Indian man who is insecure about his race will project onto the women he meets that they are racist and don’t like him because he’s Indian. A man who is insecure about women being mean to him will project onto women who intimidate him that they are bitches and use that as a reason to avoid them. Women project as well. As a man, it is possible to be rejected by a woman who is attracted to you because she’s insecure or uncomfortable with herself and her sexuality. For instance, if a woman is low self-esteem and perceives you to be too attractive for her, she will project that insecurity onto you and invent reasons to become mad at you. This is the reason why less attractive women will often reject you more often and more harshly than more attractive women. See Also: Defense Mechanisms
Rejection – When a woman demonstrates a lack of interest in a man’s sexual intent. Rejection can be overt (i.e., “I have a boyfriend, sorry,”) or subtle (i.e., flaking, going to the bathroom and not coming back, etc.).
Seduction – The process in which a man induces a woman to become more highly invested in him than he is in her. Sex is a side effect of this process. Women are generally always less invested at the beginning of an interaction because they almost always have more sexual and romantic options than men do.
Self Esteem – One’s unconscious perception of their own value or self-worth. Non-neediness in sexual interactions is one component and result of having high self-esteem. Self-esteem is often confused with confidence. Raising one’s self esteem requires making oneself more vulnerable, taking responsibility for one’s actions, practicing courage, and investing in oneself. See Also: Neediness, Attractive Behavior, Finding Your Truth
Self Selection – The unconscious process of the assortment effect. Self Selection is the idea that no matter what you do or who you are, you are going to be attractive to one particular demographic and unattractive to others. For instance, if you’re tall and bald, you’re going to unconsciously screen for women who like tall, bald men for no other reason than women who don’t will reject you or display no interest in you. If you’re a foreigner, then you will automatically self-select for women who are interested in foreigners without having to do anything. Similar to the assortment effect, but instead of reflecting beliefs and attitudes, self-selection reflects superficial preferences. See Also: Assortment Effect, Demographics
Sexual Anxiety – When one experiences apprehension and fear when expressing their sexuality or when confronted with sexual situations. See Also: Courage, Defense Mechanisms
Sexual Escalation – The process in which two people become more and more sexually engaged. Typically follows a pattern from touching, to holding and heavy touching, to kissing, then foreplay and eventually sex.
Sexual Intent – An expression of sexual desire for someone through words or behavior. Sexual intent can be direct and overt (trying to kiss her, telling her she’s beautiful), or it can be implied through flirting. See Also: Creepy, Flirting
Social Anxiety – When one experiences fear and apprehension in social situations or when meeting new people. See Also: Courage, Defense Mechanisms
Social Circle – A group of mutual friends and acquaintances.
Social Proof – The psychological mechanism where if many other people value something, then we will value it as well. In attraction, the theory goes that if a number of other people or women are attracted to you, then one specific woman will become more attracted to you. This is only applicable in social circle situations. For instance, if you walk into a bar and a number of women show interest in you, then a woman on the other side of the bar who shares no mutual acquaintances is not going to care. But if you walk into a bar and three of a woman’s female friends know you and like you, then she is likely to be attracted to you before you even speak to her.
Unconditionality – Performing an action or saying something with no expectations on receiving anything in return. Men often perform attractive behaviors or nice things with the expectation that the woman will owe them interest or affection in return. A common example is he will buy her a drink with the expectation that she spend time with him in return. This is conditional behavior. Conditional behavior is caused by neediness and generally backfires by making one appear less attractive. Unconditional behavior is an action with no expectations for anything in return. Unconditionality is non-needy, therefore attractive.
Vulnerability – Being unguarded or undefended in expressing one’s intentions, thoughts and emotions. Most men hide the thoughts and emotions they believe will make them less attractive. Paradoxically, this demonstrates neediness to women and causes their behavior to become less attractive. Also paradoxically, making oneself vulnerable and surrendering to criticism and not expecting anything in return from others causes one to build self-esteem, demonstrates non-neediness and ultimately makes one more attractive.