The term “pick up” refers to when a man attempts to get a woman sexually and/or romantically interested in him. Typically, it begins with him initiating a conversation with her and ideally concludes with them “hooking up” or having sex.
The fact that you’re even on this website right now means this probably isn’t news to you.
But here we take it a step further. When most men pick up girls, they aren’t cognizant of their actions or their methods. Like anything, when it comes to knowing how to pick up girls, there’s a certain logic behind it.
Most men will walk up (usually after 2-3 beers), ramble on a bit and hope for the best. Often, if he feels like he’s not getting anywhere, he’ll double down by offering a crude or sexual comment. Other times, he’ll just wuss out and become yet another male casualty known as a “friend.”
On this site, we approach things a bit differently. We believe in trying to understand female psychology, social dynamics, and basics of human sexuality to maximize our chances. Believe it or not, with some time, effort and the correct knowledge you actually can improve your ability to pick up girls. But we’ll get to that soon enough…
What are Girls Looking For?
Here’s a thought experiment for you. Think back to the last attractive girl you met that you wanted to get to know better. Preferrably think of one that you met and it didn’t lead anywhere sexual or romantic.
Now ask yourself, what made you stand out compared to the last 10 guys she met? Maybe you met her at a bar or a party. Think back to that place and think about the other guys there.
How did you stand out? Or did you?
This is the most basic principle that men don’t understand when it comes to this stuff: that if you aren’t offering anything particularly unique to women, then you’re going to have a hard time attracting women to you.
Every guy she meets like video games, likes sports, likes drinking beer and hanging out with his friends. A lot of them are smart. A lot of them are good-looking. A lot of them are funny.
So what makes you different?
It’s very useful to think of meeting and picking up girls in the similar way you would think about sales. This may sound cold and impersonal, but the parallels are useful.
When two people meet, you both are making a sales pitch to the other person of why you’re attractive or desirable. Women do this through making themselves beautiful, showing their compassionate and fun side, dressing provocatively, etc. So how do you do it? Because at some point she needs to decide if she’s buying what you’re selling.
So if most girls aren’t buying what you’re showing them, you need to do two things: shore up your product and/or work on your pitch.
The Fundamentals of How to Pick Up Girls
So let’s just run quickly through the “fundamentals” of this process. The vast majority of this site will fall into one of the categories below.
Approaching Women: It’s important to learn how to approach women you don’t know and start conversations with them. This is as plain as just upping your numbers and chances. The more girls you approach, the more girls you pick up. Simple as that.
Conversing with Women: It’s very important to have good social skills and conversational abilities, otherwise you’re going to have a hard time meeting and relating to new girls you meet.
Flirting: What separates a guy who makes a good friend and a guy who makes a good lover? The lover knows how to flirt and build attraction in a girl. This is crucial.
Physically Escalating: Commonly referred to as “making a move” or “pulling the trigger” between male friends. This is simply a matter of getting physical with women and becoming comfortable being sexual around them.
Knowing Where to Pick Them Up
The other factor when it comes to learning how to pick up girls, is knowing where to do it.
During the Day Time: A popular choice for its casual and low-key nature. Meeting women at the grocery store, the mall, coffee shops, on the bus, etc., is a popular choice because it’s so easy to converse. Getting phone numbers in these locations is usually pretty straight-forward, although a drawback is that you’re often limited by time.
Bars and Clubs: Usually more difficult and more intimidating for the guys who are more shy. Bars and clubs offer tons of opportunities, but also present a lot of obstacles. Depending on the venue, the difficulty can be pretty high to meet cool girls at these places. But at the same time, bringing her the same night you meet her isn’t out of the question.
School or Class: If you’re a younger guy, you’re in luck, because you spend every day in an environment full of girls of the same age and interests. Totally a different ball game and should be treated as a unique situation. Read about picking up girls in college for more information.
Through Friends: A great way to meet women, and the classic approach for most men. This is easiest of all, and though we discuss it a little when we mention social circles, it’s not the primary focus. The idea is that if you can pick up girls in the places and situations above, then picking them up through friends will be a cakewalk.
Get your dating life handled. Become an attractive man once and for all, without faking it or pretending to be someone you’re not.
Models: Attract Women Through Honesty has been referred to as the best book in the field by many, and has received five-star reviews from all over the world.
[...] and get laid in bars and clubs. I get asked about it all the time, though less so than back in my pick up days. But when it comes to making it happen, most men make elementary errors all the time. So [...]
[...] Getting girls in college is about becoming well connected and parties. That’s it. Dating advice can help, although it is not necessary. Good looks are nice. But it really just comes down to making yourself the “Man on Campus.” Become the Van Wilder of your school, and that’s it. The women come to you. Literally. [...]
[...] it comes to adopting the proper mindsets and mentalities to pick up women successfully, there may not be any as important as the abundance [...]
[...] I’ve stated previously, a burgeoning player who is dependent on his emotional state to meet and pick up women is the tell-tale sign of a guy of Intermediate skill-level with women. When the guy feels great, he [...]
Hey there Mark,
this phrase of yours haunts me, and have been haunting me as a concept for a very long time:
“So if most girls aren’t buying what you’re showing them, you need to do two things: shore up your product and/or work on your pitch.”
And how do you do that? How, knowing what makes you stand out, do you ‘polish’ your goods, and how do you make a sales pitch out of them?
I guess it largely is a matter of confidence/experience and whatnot, but what really are the tidbits that make this meat of a concept?
[...] relationship ended in 2005. It was ugly. I was 21-years-old, hurt, single and desperate to meet some girls. It’s during this period that I discovered the pick up artist community and devoured all of [...]
[...] are important differences between picking up a girl just to have fun and getting a girlfriend that you want to commit to. To begin with, if [...]
[...] truth was, I had to make a choice… was I willing to make the sacrifice in order to learn how to pick up girls like that? At the end of the day, that’s the only relevant question: the girls you meet will [...]
[...] raises a few eyebrows when I say it. But it’s true. Being smart can hurt your chances at picking up girls and improving with [...]
[...] Think: Protect your profiles you should come into play. What you need as that relates to profile for dating website. What’s a little regular healthy amount of touching/physical contact is an [...]