How to Get Laid from Bars and ClubsI’ve been single and traveling for most of this year, so most of my interactions with women have been of the fling variety — i.e., meet-to-sex in a few hours and then I never see or hear from them again. In fact, if I may brag for a moment, I’ve been racking up quite the body count this year, and it doesn’t seem to matter which country I go to.

Tons of guys want to have one night stands and get laid in bars and clubs. I get asked about it all the time, though less so than back in my pick up days. But when it comes to making it happen, most men make elementary errors all the time. So here’s kind of a play-by-play of my process and thinking when I go out for a night looking to get some action. This article is written assuming that you kind of know what you’re doing around women, and are particularly interested in meeting and have sex with women the same night you meet them.

Usually I get there early, earlier the better. Girls are more receptive earlier and haven’t been approached yet that night. I approach the best-looking first then work my way down. If hot girls enter, I try to be the first guy to approach them that night. Getting out early is huge and so few guys do it. I think it’s because they’re either nervous to go out or they’re getting drunk cheap by pre-gaming. At 10PM, venues will be 65% girls, most of whom have not been approached yet. By 1AM, they’ll be 35% girls, most of whom have been approached 5+ times. On top of that, if you meet a girl at 10:30PM, you’ve got an extra 1-2 hours with her, which ups your chances quite a bit.

Once I meet a girl who I connect with and she’s into me, I screen for logistics and if there are no red flags (birthday party, staying with her sister, lives with mom, etc.), then I stick with her the entire night. I don’t do any more approaches. For some reason this seems to surprise some guys. I have no idea why. But an ideal night for me is: show up at 10:20PM, find the hottest girl, approach, by 10:30PM she’s into me, and I spend the entire night hanging with her and her friends. At 2AM she comes home with me.

If after 10 minutes I’m not feeling her or she’s not feeling me, I drop her. Right then and there. I’ve wasted way too many hours over the last six years chasing girls that either were lukewarm on me or I was lukewarm on them. There are so many women out at night there’s no point in spending time with a girl you’re not excited about and who’s not excited with you. Seriously, drop them if it’s not going anywhere. I don’t even say goodbye half the time. Hell, I’ve walked away mid-sentence before.

I almost never leave a girl and come back. Unless there’s a legitimate reason, that’s the kiss of death in night game. If you ever tell her, “I’ll be right back,” and aren’t back within 3 minutes, 99% chance she’s either meets another guy or goes completely cold by the time you get back. This is why I tell guys that if you want to get laid at night, you HAVE to ditch the whole, “I need to approach more” mentality. The two are often mutually exclusive. If you have trouble approaching early and often, then practice approaching for a while. But once you’ve got it down, STOP PRACTICING APPROACHING.

Generally, if I’m not set up with a girl by midnight, my chances start to go down very quickly. The majority of my same night lays come from girls I meet earlier, not later.

If I’ve got a girl, I use the 2-3 hours with her to build a strong emotional connection, get to know her friends, introduce her to my friends, drink together, bounce to another venue or two, etc. This way, at the very LEAST you’re going to get a super-solid number from her and the first date will be a lay-up. At best she’ll go home with you that night. On rare occasions, you can get a girl to come back with you early (like 11:30), but it almost never happens. At 2AM I feel out her logistics and if there’s an opening (i.e., she’s not anybody’s ride, or nobody drove her), then I’ll go for the pull right then and there (this is why living in a city like NYC or Boston, or staying in Vegas is such a massive advantage). If there are rides involved, then I try to work out some sort of after-party or after-hours eating thing. By now, if your game is tight, your girl should be good to sleep with you and has been for a while. The after-hours thing is mainly to hang out with her friends and let them get comfortable with you being with her outside a club situation. Let your girl handle her friends at all times when it comes to logistics. Arguing with a cockblock is a losing battle. Always. The way to win is to let your girl handle them for you. If your girl likes you and you’ve been doing a good job turning her on then she’ll take care of everything. Seriously. It’s usually here that the, “well, he can come back with us,” will come out and nobody will argue with her. For some reason it feels more natural since you’ve already come out and eaten with them or whatever. Even after this, some times it’ll still be a no-go though. But hey, you have a super solid number and just spent 4 hours flirting and (ideally) kissing a really hot girl. Worse nights have happened.

If a girl seems to be on the prude/conservative side, I stick it out anyway assuming I really like her. The reason is that phone numbers at night are more or less worthless until you’ve spent at least an hour with a girl. So you might as well spend the whole night with her and see where things go. I find it to be more enjoyable anyway. And you’d actually be surprised how many “prude” girls actually end up coming through when you develop a real spark with them.

But it’s worth mentioning this again, if I don’t like a girl I’m talking to, or don’t feel welcome with her group after 10 minutes. I leave. Not everyone in this world is compatible. Accept that and move on.

If I don’t have a girl by 12:30 or 1:00 (assuming we’re closing at 2AM), then things shift. I call this “garbage time.” In American sports, if one team is losing by a lot, but there’s still a lot of time left to play and they put in all of their bench players, they call it “garbage time.” This is what I call the 12:30AM to 2AM window.

There are many reasons for garbage time being what garbage time is: 1) most hot girls looking for a guy have already met him, taking them off the market; 2) Many girls have gone home, and more guys have shown up 3) Every girl has now been approached 4-8 times that night and is really getting tired of it; 4) most of the girls still available are unattractive and/or very drunk; 5) most of the guys are finally drunk enough to have the balls to approach, giving you newfound competition.

Garbage time sucks. I hate it. Once in a blue moon, you’ll find a hot girl who somehow slipped through another guy’s hands. But, usually you’re stuck with the drunken leftovers of the night, what I affectionately refer to as “the slop.”

In garbage time, your blow outs are going to get higher and higher the closer 2AM nears. But the girls who do hook are going to be easier and easier. So whereas at 11PM, 60% of girls in the bar would have talked to you, but would have been only mildly interested, now it’ll be like 10% of girls, but that 10% is very drunk, very sloppy, and probably desperate. So they’re easy, if you can find them.

This is when you get quick 20-30 minute pulls. But honestly, it’s a total crap shoot. If you go outside on the street around this time, it’s even MORE of a crap-shoot. Most girls will blow you off, but every once in a while you can find a drunk girl on the street who’s down to party pretty much right then and there. I have a friend who’s good-looking and sometimes will literally only go out at 1AM and take his shots at these drunk girls and then go home. In my opinion, it’s a little shady, and requires little to no game at all. But whatever.

If you find one of these girls at the end of the night, then you still have to deal with the randomness of logistics. Logistics is a bane that will never go away. The best game in the world can rarely overcome poor logistics. You just have to hope she lives nearby and her friends don’t care what she’s doing. Sometimes you don’t even have to go to her place. I fucked a girl in her car once and then went back to the bar. I think the last hour of the night really is where the term “getting lucky” came from. Every approach is just rolling the dice.

Unlike a lot of guys, I do make out with girls in bars. I’ve never heard a complaint or had a problem with it. Usually when I kiss a girl it’s more of an emotional thing, not a drunk bar thing. In fact, I’m sure if most of you guys saw my game with a girl I was going to pull, you’d 1) get bored out of your mind and 2) get grossed out because we become that disgustingly in-love cutesy couple very, very quickly. Holding hands, staring into each others eyes, giggling about things only we know about, blah, blah, blah. When kissing is a function of that and not, “hey, I’ve been grinding my crotch on your ass for 10 minutes now, let’s make out,” then it doesn’t seem to be a problem. Although, I do that sometimes too, and it doesn’t seem to stop me either. Honestly, I’ve never understood the whole “don’t make out in bars, you won’t get laid thing.” It’s never slowed me down.

Finally, venue plays a significant factor on your chances for the night. Fancy night clubs get all of the attention when it comes to pulling girls, but I’ve actually found the sloppy dive and college bars are the easiest by a long-shot. The only problem is the girls who go to these places are rarely that attractive. You’ll maybe find one or two in the entire place. The nicer the venue or club, the more attractive the women get, but the more hit or miss it’s going to be. Girls will go to dingy bars together or by themselves, but you’ll almost never find a hot girl in a nice club in a group with less than four people or without guys around her, compounding logistical issues.

Often upscale lounges for young professionals and women in the 25-32 age range can be goldmines. Most of the women here are somewhat attractive, professional, free-thinking and more experienced and open to same night flings. But you’re also more likely to find a woman who wants to be wined and dined at these types of places as well.

Finally, house parties or special functions are probably the easiest of all. And if the house party is at YOUR house, well then you shouldn’t even have to be reading this.

Being Appropriately Inappropriate

For all of us guys who go out at night and go for pulls and one night stands, we all know that logistics are the bane of our existence. She’s hot for you, you’re hot for her, but her friend is driving, she lives 45 minutes away from you, her other friend is hungry, and you have work in the morning. Figuring out a way to get her back is like solving a Rubik’s Cube while juggling. And half the time when you do get her home, it takes so long and so much planning that the mood is shot, you’re both sober, tired and hungry, and, oh yeah, you have work in the morning.

Well, I think I found something that may short-circuit these impossible logistical scenarios.

NOTE: Do not try this unless you and her have already been hooking up! Seriously. Doing this with a girl who is not that into you, or who you have not kissed yet is a good way to get slapped, kneed, maced, or thrown out of a venue. It should already be clear that she’s very much into you before trying this.

Basically, you intentionally attempt to have sex with her in a really inappropriate place. Empty hallways, alleys, a park, on the sidewalk, bathroom stall, wherever.

Now, that may sound crazy, but remember, you’ve already been hooking up and making out with her. You should both already be pretty turned on and into it. Maybe it’s in the club bathroom, maybe it’s outside in an alley. Wherever… just pull her aside and attempt to go at it in a very public and non-discrete place. By “go for it,” I mean, take things to the next level like you would at home in the bedroom. Lift her skirt up and try to finger her. Whip your dick out. Whatever.

Nine times out of ten, she’s going to stop you. This is fine and to be expected. When she stops you, go ahead and stop. You can say something like, “Sorry, you’re so sexy, I forgot where we were.”

Assuming she’s really into you, and despite her NOT wanting to have sex with you in an inappropriate and public place, this is really going to turn her on. If you want the detailed explanation about why this would turn a woman on, check out Chapter 1 of the new book about female arousal and how it’s connected to men making sacrifices and risk-taking.

Every time I’ve done this (four or five times recently, probably more in the past), she’s become incredibly turned on. Like insanely turned on. And suddenly the frame of the interaction is no longer, “What do we do next?” but immediately becomes, “Where can we have sex?”

It’s kind of like that old negotiating technique. If you want to buy someone’s car, ask them to give it to you. When they say no, your offer to buy it will seem reasonable and desirable by comparison. Well, if you had asked her to come home earlier, it may have been a pretty big leap for her. But now that you just tried to bang her on a park bench, going home with you sounds extremely reasonable. And not only that, but you’re both so turned on that it becomes desirable. Your minds will start racing to find ways to make it happen, and suddenly she’s in your corner, trying to find a way to work logistics out as seamlessly as possible.

This has been pretty successful for me recently. Once was with a girl in an empty hotel lobby. Another time was in an emergency exit stairwell at a club. Another was on a public beach. Every situation played out like I described above. She stops me. But she gets so incredibly turned on that we figure out a way for us to go to my place or hers together right there on the spot. No negotiating. No vague promises about an “after party.” No trying to convince her to come see my pet rock.

But here’s the best part about this. Every once in a while, a girl will go through with it. She won’t stop you. And you’ll end up having crazy public sex. A couple months ago when I was in Boston, I met a girl in a bar right next to the Boston Harbor. I had nowhere to take her, as I had a 5AM flight and was going straight to the airport after the night out. So I just took her out to the harbor and we started going at it out there on the docks. To my surprise, not only did she not stop me, but she became even more enthusiastic. She had her clothes off before I could get my shoes off. So we banged, right there on Boston Harbor, overlooking the bay, airplanes taking off in the background. It was pretty awesome. I’m still amazed we didn’t get caught.

I’ve had sex in public places in the past (a church, a couple bathrooms, Beacon Street). But it was never intentional. It just kind of happened because we had no where else to go, or we were so deliriously drunk and horny by the situation. It never occurred to me that pushing for sex in places like that could actually trigger a rush of arousal and get us home together twice as quickly, with half the headache. But that’s what’s been happening lately.

So there you go. For the bold and brave and horny. Appropriately inappropriate places to have sex. Try it out. And watch the logistics fly out the window.

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52 Responses to How to Get Laid from Bars and Clubs

  1. CPG says:

    Great post, you crystallized a few thoughts I had but never put into words…I’ve noticed that I do far better getting out at 10PM than 11PM, and way too often the hottest girl that I have a solid interaction with was right at the start of the night.

    I walk right into that “should approach more” trap you describe, causing me to move on with no more than a number from a good early approach.

    Part of the problem is also doing warm-ups instead of just getting started…too often, when I look back at a night I realize that what I treated as a warm-up approach turns out to have been the most promising one, which I had dropped to go out and fight the primetime chaos.

  2. ENC says:

    >Hell, I’ve walked away mid-sentence before.

    Her being mid-sentence or you? :-)

  3. Greenlight says:

    Nice post. I follow that similar style of rifle vs. shotgun. I wiff a lot as a result, but have run into stalker issues if I date down too far just to close. So it’s a byproduct of past experiences I guess.

    I go early too, and typically keep it pretty light for the first few hours and don’t lock in right away. Will try some push/pull so they know I’m interested and then get more serious later in the night. Also, I do usually try and find a way to disappear for 5 to 10 mins or so, just to help cement if she’s into me enough (if i’m trying for “that night”). I am more than happy to incubate for a later date though.

    In California, especially near the beaches, the dive bars can be great and in summer, you get girls off the beach that are already in party mode. But totally agree with your 25-35 upscale lounges too.

    Because I’m older, typically don’t have a problem with logistics…it just gets figured out when it needs to.

    Have to laugh about garbage time…know it well…but it works best if you are still in your 20s, or have some friends in common, etc. Last story I had there was walking out at closing next to 4 girls, and one girl was beyond shredded and being hard sold into a cab by the backwards baseball cap guy and his friends. I used it to open the tall, dark- haired girl next to me…”so, you’re gonna let her go on her own? Good friend. I like that” She laughs, “you know, I’m sick of looking after her tonight, and she’s a big girl”. We talk and end up down the street at her car (black bmw 5 series…nice) she asks me where I live and offers me a ride. We make the (literally) 1 minute drive to my place and she’s dropping me in the alley (garage key pad…that way I don’t have to carry keys) and she just says “is it okay if I give you a bl*ow job?” I’m thinking…is it okay???? Umm, yeah…I press her to come in, but she’s okay with just that. drops me off, never to be heard from (or seen) again.

  4. tfr says:

    You make it sound like you roll solo. Do you? Or do you have anything to add about how you interact with your wing(s).

    • Mark says:

      I actually almost always go out with friends, although I approach solo 99% of the time. I only introduce friends into sets if/when it’s advantageous to.

      If I’m coaching, then all bets are off and we just focus on whatever the student needs to work on.

  5. Kevin says:

    What does a ‘bad’ night look like for you? Obviously you don’t take a girl home every time you go out, but when guys put up plans like this it can sort of imply that things always go like they’ve laid out.

    Do you get shot down a bunch of times and never have a girl be into you, before you call it a day and go back to hanging with your friends? Do you have a bunch of ten minute conversations that go nowhere? Do you always manage to meet a girl to hang out with for a decent amount of time, even if it ultimately comes to nothing?

    • Mark says:

      Yeah, a bad night is a bunch of 10-minute boring conversations followed by wallowing in a bunch of garbage time blow outs. I’d say 1/3 to 1/2 of my nights go like that, depending on the city.

      This is why I prefer to go out with friends though, so that even on nights when approaches aren’t going well, I’m still having fun.

      Of the other 2/3 or 1/2 of the nights, I’d say I get a girl to hang out with me for at least most of the night, and in maybe half of those cases go home with me.

      All in all, I figure I get laid once for every 2-3 times I go out, whether it be by SNL or lining up a solid date. This is assuming I’m in the US/UK. I’m sure I could up that if I approached more, or hell, went out more than 1-2 times a week, but whatever, I’m pretty happy with where I’m at.

    • Mark says:

      I should point out though, that even for the most experienced guys, the “bunch of sets to no where” night is the rule, not the exception. Only difference between me and an inexperienced guy is that maybe 1/2 of my nights go like that, whereas a newbie ALL of his nights will go like that.

  6. Gully says:

    For me personally, I don’t tend to have much particular strategy on a night out. Go out with friends, get drunk, have fun, and sometimes you end up with a girl, sometimes you don’t.

    Its just basic biology. But drunken people of both sexes in somewhere on a night out and something is bound to happen. If you look at it that way, nature actually favours us to get laid, especially in these kind of situations.

    Just dont get too drunk, look smart, approach a few people. Its not rocket science.

    • Jamie says:

      Oddly there are the occasions where i end up getting very drunk and the next day, vaguely remember spending 30 mins with a girl and getting a make out. Although i have literally no memory of how i approached her or how i kept her interested.

      It’s like sometimes when you get really drunk you go on auto pilot and your instincts (and what you’ve learned) just enable you to get the job done.

  7. fireform. says:

    Mark,

    All great points man.

    One thing though – it doesn’t sound like you follow the whole “isolate her then keep her isolated” approach. You mentioned you chat girls up when you go out with your friends, so..

    Do you put the girl in your group of friends, or do you join her group of friends?
    Or ideally, do your friends and her friends both mutually leave you two alone?

    The article is expansive, but it doesn’t deal with the “mid-game” logistics much. Like, do you always end up ditching your friends when you chat a girl up for 2-4 hours?

    Just trying to get a sense of where you’re coming from man, as usually gaming and friends don’t mix well for me, but I’d really love it to. Peace!

  8. Mark says:

    When I’m out with friends or to have fun, I’m the same way. I drink and dance and don’t really think about it. But if this is all you do, then your chances are definitely sub-optimal and the whole “get wasted and see what happens” strategy almost never attracts the hotter girls.

    If I’m out to get laid or if I’m in a new city and want to meet a girl, I do what I do above.

    @fireform: The first 30 minutes or so, I’m definitely isolated and keeping her isolated as much as possible. Once I’m confident in my connection with her — usually around the time I feel I can kiss her or have kissed her — I’ll introduce her to my group or hang out with her group. Depending on the situation. Sometimes she’ll tag along with us or vice-versa. Other times, we just stay isolated. I play it by ear. Whatever feels natural.

  9. whatroughbeast says:

    “In fact, I’m sure if most of you guys saw my game with a girl I was going to pull, you’d [...] get grossed out because we become that disgustingly in-love cutesy couple very, very quickly. Holding hands, staring into each others eyes, giggling about things only we know about, blah, blah, blah.”

    Actually, I’m not grossed out at all. How do you develop such a deep emotional connection so quickly? That seems to be the unexplored lynchpin of this post: You can have the best logistics in the world, but if you can’t make that connection, you’re going to be stuck with the “10-minute conversations” that lead to nowhere…

  10. Willy Wonka says:

    Good post.

    I’ve always liked the dive/college bars better. Always seemed a lot easier to me and it almost frustrates me to roll with newbs because they never understand this and always want to hit the target rich places and practice approaching

  11. BetaToPUA says:

    I think there are some great points here. I have often noticed that the female/male ration in clubs is great up until just before midnight, then rapidly worsens from there. By 2am most clubs are a cockfest.

    I’ve also, like you, noticed that sets hook much more easily earlier in the night. The bitch shields are far lower.

    I have never really come to the conclusion that I need to be opening sets more earlier in the night until I read this post though. It’s like I missed what should have been obvious to me. Thanks.

    You say you should stay with your girl all night when you find one who is into you. This is different to what Tim says in his Flawless Natural DVD. He says you should leave her and periodically come back to her during the night, seeing if she’s ready to leave. This avoids looking needy. I have hung around some girls a bit long in clubs before, and they get annoyed because they want to spend time just with their friends. In this regard, you make the point that sometimes when you later try and reopen girls they can be really cold. I’ve noticed this too, and am never really sure why this happens.

    So I’m not really sure which option to chose. Have multiple girls (and therefore multiple options for the end of the night), or stick with one girl. I will have to experiment, but I do think if a girl’s really loving your company you should probably stay with her.

    • Mark says:

      If she’s ever annoyed that you’re there, then you’ve definitely done something wrong.

      And yeah, leaving and coming back has always been the kiss of death for me. If Tim makes it work, not quite sure how. But I figure, if she and I are enjoying each other, then why would I leave?

  12. Matt T says:

    “No trying to convince her to come see my pet rock.”

    I didn’t know they still made these…

  13. unsexyMF says:

    This is like the Cliff Notes for Aaron Sleazy’s “Sleazy Stories.”

    • Sean says:

      Word. haha! I just finished Sleazy’s book and was thinking the same thing.

      Sleazy and TheCostOfSuccess have seen through the Matrix. That primal attraction level that’s nearly ineffable.

  14. Gully says:

    I guess the question comes down to, would you rather just have sex in a public place or take her home?

    In some ways I think, depending on the situation, being able to fuck there and then would be so much easier, and save you so much hassle and awkwardness the next day.

    Although I guess you can get a better quality of sex and perhaps more if you bring her home. But there is something alluring about having sex outside in public places, the thrill of it etc. Although its generally over pretty quickly.

    Probably a lot of it comes down to the quality of the girl.

    Semi ugly/fat girl that I would be slightly ashamed to show my friends? Try and fuck her in an alley and be done with it.

    The hottest girl I have potentially ever got with? Ill pay a taxi all the way home if it costs me two weeks wages.

    • Fluffy McGee says:

      “Although its generally over pretty quickly.” – You’d be surprised at what you can get away with when it comes to public sex.

      “The hottest girl I have potentially ever got with? Ill pay a taxi all the way home if it costs me two weeks wages.” – Remember, every other guy thinks the same damn thing about that hot chick. When you whip your dick out at the table, you might discover this works on them even better, because it never happens to them. Your average guy who meets a hot chick like this will worry so much about “wifing” her that he doesn’t have the balls to do this.

      “Semi ugly/fat girl that I would be slightly ashamed to show my friends?” – Why waste your time on her to begin with?

    • Mark says:

      Well, the point is, you aren’t always able to just “take her home.” Anyone who’s tried to take girls home enough knows that there’s all sorts of barriers in the way. This short-circuits a lot of those.

      Like I said, 9/10 times it doesn’t happen in public, it just gets her so horny, that she wants to go home with you immediately.

  15. Jshot says:

    COULD IT BE, THE GREAT MARK HAS DEFEATED HIS MOST POWERFUL NEMISES?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  16. Fluffy McGee says:

    Well Mark, you struck gold here, this is the missing link that keeps most PUAs just average when they could be fucking amazing.

    All of my pick-up theory is actually based on this one tiny piece of game: public sex. For all of the reasons you listed and more…

    And for the disbelievers who say stuff like “guys who always write lay reports about getting a girl in bed on the first date are probably just lying or exaggerating,” I suggest you try this technique out to discover just how wrong you are.

    For a recap of how good this technique is, in the past 5 days I landed a *new* girl in bed, every single day (3 first dates and 2 second dates). They were all extremely hot, young, and some of the best lays I’ve ever had. Oh yeah, and it only happened because I tried to fuck them in a restaurant at the table while we were still eating dinner…

    “She won’t stop you. And you’ll end up having crazy public sex.”
    - The best kind of sex IMO.

    P.S. May I ask why this will be your last post of this kind?

    • Mark says:

      Going in kind of a new direction with content (if you didn’t notice). Old school “get laid a lot” content like this is only so useful and only interesting to a small amount of degenerates.

      • Fluffy McGee says:

        Awe Mark ~ fair enough but… what’s so bad about wanting to get laid a lot (T.T)

        • Mark says:

          Nothing… Also, there’s only so much to say. I mean, how many different ways can you say the same 3-4 things?

          • Kelvin says:

            Before you retire the topic forever, could you perhaps present those 3-4 things in the most concise, articulate way ever?

          • Mark says:

            1. Approach girls you like.
            2. Communicate clearly
            3. Good attitude, enjoy yourself and others.
            4. Be physically dominant and escalate.

            Voila.

  17. PUA Vault says:

    I couldn’t help but laugh at this. My first SNL happened just 3 weeks ago, pretty much on this even though I wasn’t familiar with the technique at the time. Plus I was incredibly drunk, the girl had to recount me the night when we saw each other a 2nd time. But – I was dancing with her and being really aggressive and trying to lift her skirt and finger her (the key being here that she didn’t outright reject me, so I was kinda ‘in’). It was dark as dance floors usually go so I figure it was okay, but then she told me ‘I feel uncomfortable doing this with my friends nearby’, to which I grabbed her hand, told her ‘okay, lets go to my house’, and led her out outside where she (having had only 1 drink the whole night) drove us back to my place. Once there she said ‘no,no, we’re not having sex’, and then after some heavy make out, I closed the deal.

    To read this now after the fact, it really helps visualize the structure, and what actually happened. Great analysis as always Mark.

  18. Vangelis says:

    Being someone who has to deal with bad logistics all the time (almost) this is pure gold!!

    Happened to me some time ago when I had a SNL with a simple “your home or mine” and the pattern to get there was exactly this, though I was completely unaware until I read this.

  19. Leo says:

    “I’ve had sex in public places in the past (a church, a couple bathrooms, Beacon Street).”

    Could you please tell how did you have sex in a church? That’s awesome!!!!

  20. Gerrard says:

    Yeah dude I’m surprised noone asked sooner. How did it happen in the church? Please let us know!!!

  21. Mark says:

    Back in college I was president of the Zen meditation club. We met every week in the chapel on campus (yes, my university had a chapel), so I had keys to get into the building.

    Back in like 2007, I had just started seeing this girl maybe a week or two before and we were at a little get-together on one side of campus together. We were all over each other and really fucking horny, so we decided to ditch the party and go home and have sex. Unfortunately, we both lived on the other side of campus, which was like a 20 minute walk. We had been drinking and stopped like every 50 feet to make out and go at it some more. Finally, I said, “screw it, let’s go in the Chapel.” So we did.

    The next day I told my friend and he said, “Well… if you end up marrying her, I guess you know where to hold the ceremony.”

  22. Hammer says:

    That last paragraph is a major weakness of this technique in my opinion. Bathroom sex sucks. It’s a good story a few times, but it gets old fast. It’s funny because at the 21 convention one year there were these two guys giving a talk about how to pull girls in crazy places. It wasn’t long before and Steve and I started joking with each other about how unpleasant the experience is, and as a result how unlikely it was that these guys had actually ever done it given the way they were bragging about it. This quickly turned into an amount of uncontrollable laughter that was very disruptive to the entire audience.

    I’m very surprised by your 9/10 figure, because in my experience, a little KFP and she’s pretty much always going to make it happen right there as long as there’s some modicum of isolation. Maybe the key to this is to do it in a place where sex really can’t happen?

    • Mark says:

      Not sure what you’re saying. The technique is to get her home ASAP and overcome any logistics easily. The goal isn’t really to do her then and there. That’s why you stop when she objects. KFP, if I remember correctly, would mean you keep going despite her objection.

      Sex in public places tends to be hit or miss depending on where you are. But yes, bathrooms are awful and usually disgusting. Don’t recommend them.

    • Fluffy McGee says:

      I don’t do bathroom sex, I do it in a restaurant, but in Japan they have restaurants with private rooms, so you can pretty much do anything you want with her in there. For me the goal is to do her then and there, and then again back at my place.

      • NeuNaut says:

        Fluffy McGee – Are you in Japan?
        I’m also in Japan – avid daygamer/station gamer and rapid closer.
        I’d be interested in trading notes – people with our hobby and any level of ability are rarer than rare.
        Mark could you pass my email along when you ok comment please.

        Thanks.

        • Fluffy McGee says:

          Hey NeuNaut,

          Sure man, although I must admit im in the opposite realm, almost all night game and net game for me.

          Google ”fluffy mcgee pua” and you should find my site at the top of the list ~ you will find my contact info there too =]

          Toodles,
          Fluffy

  23. TheSwede says:

    Great post, Mark. I learned early on that once a girl is turned on enough, just about everything flies out the window. Objections, logistics, all of that. You will both find a way. That’s usually why I don’t worry too much about it.

    Funny, though, the day before I read this, I had sex with a girl in a parking garage, top floor, in the middle of the day. Hilarious. I said we were just going to make out, next thing you know…..You remember Faneuil Hall, right? That parking garage that’s above, I think, Hard Rock Cafe? Yeah, buddy.

  24. Ian says:

    Hi Mark,

    Awesome article. One of my big blocking points just now is that I don’t believe I can actually ‘pull’.
    I moved back to my old village after being made redundant. The single girl scene here is pretty small, well actually non excistent.

    I haven’t tried a pull in ages. At the moment I am working to get a job in my ‘dream’ city but it’s a long process (keep getting turned down at interviews).

    How can I convince myself that I can do this and get girls without having the reference points of going out and getting them? At the moment, I am convincing myself with negativity that I can’t get girls as the last time I tried on a night out I got nowhere and didn’t approach after a few feeble attempts.

    Any tips on how I can sort this? I need to stop this bullshit as I’m counting myself out of the race before it starts!

    Thanks man – great site too!

  25. Winston says:

    This advice is useless and only common sense. The problem is, it only works if you are are her type and considered dating material. But if you are an Asian guy, 99 percent of American girls are not going to consider you to be their type, so all these tips are useless and don’t even apply.

    But if you are her type, you don’t need tips like these.

  26. Selchie says:

    “Lift her skirt up and try to finger her. Whip your dick out. Whatever.  [...] this is really going to turn her on.”
     
    I’m surprised this seems to work for you so consistently. When you’re saying a girl you have “already been hooking up with,” do you mean you’ve had sex before? In that case, assuming you know her pretty well, yeah this would likely work a lot of the time.
     
    My impression was you’re also suggesting this might work with a girl you met earlier in the evening, have a great connection with, have been making out with, but have never previously had sex with. Am I misinterpreting?
     
    If I’m interpreting correctly, I’m actually flabbergasted you’ve had any success at all. I’ve had guys try to pull similar, and so have friends of mine, but if this is not someone we’ve had sex with before, where there’s an ongoing relationship (fwb at minimum), then it’s a complete mood killer. This guy has just made a hell of a lot of assumptions. Especially pulling out your dick. A guy did that to my friend while they were making out outside a night club, and while she *had been* into him she immediately lost all interest. I would, too.

    • @Selchie Shrug… yeah. 
       
      I think it has less to do with the length of the relationship and connection and more to do with how turned on the girl is… But yeah… I’ve never whipped my dick out before, but I had a friend who used to do that with some effect. I’ve done the other stuff… and yeah, sometimes the girl is like “Ugh, what are you doing?” But whatever… if she gets turned off, it’s not the end of the world. 
       
      But yeah, this has generally been successful for me… but it has been done with girls who were already very into me, had already been making out with me, and we had already spent most of the evening together…

  27. mlvgodsgirl says:

    I think this is disrespectful an sad as I have had lots of guys treat me like this and feel that in order for a guy to really be a good one this is not the way to truly get a  girl that would work. Most guys have such a desperate attitude and need to realize its ok to go slower. I am a normal girl, maybe old fashioned and don’t think it is nessesary to have to constanlty worry about what this guys going to do or thinking and distracts from really getting to know the person. I would never go home with someone like this despite their feeble attempts and I am a christian and proud of it! Respect and normal confidence goes a long way. Gentleman is what a girl really wants! Sad there are so many to have to worry about in the dating realm. Girls like a genuine guy :)

    • @mlvgodsgirl Realize that this is what YOU want, and not necessarily what all women want. 
       
      I think it’s great that you prefer to take things slow. I would say just make that clear up front when you meet a guy and don’t worry so much about what he’s going to do/not going to do. Most guys are good guys. And trust me, if you make it clear that you want a gentleman who moves slow with you, most of the scumbags are going to give up and move on.

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