http://postmasculine.com/forum/ Sat, 25 May 2013 18:35:33 +0000 MyBB http://postmasculine.com/forum/Thread-green-light-for-approaching Sat, 25 May 2013 06:33:18 +0000 http://postmasculine.com/forum/Thread-green-light-for-approaching
Now I've read the arguments that you should approach girls who give you a green light beforehand through non-verbal cues. This makes a lot of sense to me as, this lets you know that the girl is at least willing to talk, so chances of her having a bad day/not looking for guys etc. are smaller.

For now though, I've only considered green light a girl holding eye contact and smiling at me. And that doesn't happen as often as I would like, even though I dress nice most of the time and have good posture.

Am I too safe with the green light? If a girl darts her eyes toward me but her face shows no emotion, should I go for it?

I know that I should just approach every girl I feel like, but I'm still starting out and you don't go from zero to hero...]]>
Now I've read the arguments that you should approach girls who give you a green light beforehand through non-verbal cues. This makes a lot of sense to me as, this lets you know that the girl is at least willing to talk, so chances of her having a bad day/not looking for guys etc. are smaller.

For now though, I've only considered green light a girl holding eye contact and smiling at me. And that doesn't happen as often as I would like, even though I dress nice most of the time and have good posture.

Am I too safe with the green light? If a girl darts her eyes toward me but her face shows no emotion, should I go for it?

I know that I should just approach every girl I feel like, but I'm still starting out and you don't go from zero to hero...]]> http://postmasculine.com/forum/Thread-Staying-engaged-on-a-daily-basis Sat, 25 May 2013 05:18:15 +0000 http://postmasculine.com/forum/Thread-Staying-engaged-on-a-daily-basis
I always had this problem of trying to strike up any reasonable balance in trying stay productive and living in the moment in my life. I have to say, I get thoroughly satisfied when I have a set of goals in the day and achieve them. As they say, the way you get to Carnegie Hall is one step at a time (just kidding, it's practice). And I feel OK with myself when I actually get things done in a day, I feel horrible when I sit around and do nothing all day.

That's one thing I love about cooking for example. There's a clearly defined process, you acquire ingredients (this may take planning, maybe the farmer's market is only there one day a week), you prep, you cook, and you get a delicious, tangible result.

I've always felt that would be one of the benefits of taking up a menial or labor intensive job. My dad would laugh at me cause he was a mailman for 30 years and his back hurts cause of it, but if you're a mailman, or a dishwasher, or a plumber, you do something, you do something tangible, either you did a good job or you didn't, you get paid and move on with your life. But it's tanigble. I've pretty much always been a programmer or musician, this is supposed to have meaning. But you still have to go one step at a time!

My most joyous moments in life though have always been the ones where you lose control and are totally in the moment. And by nature, these are the moments that are least productive. The times I discover (or rediscover) a song and dance by myself in my room. The times I'm playing a competitive basketball game and really, really want to win. The times I get lost on a trip and discover something new and wonderful. The times I am talking or getting real close to an attractive woman. I want to live that free all the time.

But I'm always feeling whatever I do, I could be doing more to complete my other side. Am I falling into a hyper-productivity trap? There's going to be a lot of waste time no matter what you do. You're going to meet girls who you don't click with... but you're always gonna have dead time at work, too. The worst feeling (in my daily life, not including traumas that happen to us all) is when I feel I need to fill that time, living that experience or being productive, and you get so caught up that nothing happens, instead.

Where do you draw that line?]]>
I always had this problem of trying to strike up any reasonable balance in trying stay productive and living in the moment in my life. I have to say, I get thoroughly satisfied when I have a set of goals in the day and achieve them. As they say, the way you get to Carnegie Hall is one step at a time (just kidding, it's practice). And I feel OK with myself when I actually get things done in a day, I feel horrible when I sit around and do nothing all day.

That's one thing I love about cooking for example. There's a clearly defined process, you acquire ingredients (this may take planning, maybe the farmer's market is only there one day a week), you prep, you cook, and you get a delicious, tangible result.

I've always felt that would be one of the benefits of taking up a menial or labor intensive job. My dad would laugh at me cause he was a mailman for 30 years and his back hurts cause of it, but if you're a mailman, or a dishwasher, or a plumber, you do something, you do something tangible, either you did a good job or you didn't, you get paid and move on with your life. But it's tanigble. I've pretty much always been a programmer or musician, this is supposed to have meaning. But you still have to go one step at a time!

My most joyous moments in life though have always been the ones where you lose control and are totally in the moment. And by nature, these are the moments that are least productive. The times I discover (or rediscover) a song and dance by myself in my room. The times I'm playing a competitive basketball game and really, really want to win. The times I get lost on a trip and discover something new and wonderful. The times I am talking or getting real close to an attractive woman. I want to live that free all the time.

But I'm always feeling whatever I do, I could be doing more to complete my other side. Am I falling into a hyper-productivity trap? There's going to be a lot of waste time no matter what you do. You're going to meet girls who you don't click with... but you're always gonna have dead time at work, too. The worst feeling (in my daily life, not including traumas that happen to us all) is when I feel I need to fill that time, living that experience or being productive, and you get so caught up that nothing happens, instead.

Where do you draw that line?]]> http://postmasculine.com/forum/Thread-Brazil Sat, 25 May 2013 04:19:32 +0000 http://postmasculine.com/forum/Thread-Brazil
I just booked a trip of a little under 2 weeks in June, so I'd like to hear about any thoughts, experiences, and recommendations you all might have. To be honest I havn't done a ton of planing besides buying the return trip into and out of Rio, but that's how I like to travel so please bare with me. With about 12 days on the ground, I'd like to fit in two or three cities.


Some background:

1) It's my first time in Brazil and, as of today, I speak zero words of Portugese. I intend on going through a beginners program - I've seen Primsleur mentioned on here, seems well suited to my needs - and maybe getting a session or two of tutoring before I head out. Practically, I'd like cities that are not complete hill-towns where no one speaks a word of English. Otherwise I'm definitely open to second or third tier cities that are a bit off the beaten path.

2) In general, I'd like as much cultural experiences as possible. I intend on dedicating an hour or two learning the language, maybe taking a few BJJ lessons, definitely some samba. I'm open to other things though, so all ears on ideas and the city to look into them.

3) I'll be traveling alone, but it's not my first backpacking trip. Money, within reason, is not a huge issue despite what I've heard about ridiculous prices in Rio. Nightlife/partying/pick up is not a priority, although I do intend on going out.

4) Since Rio will be one of the cities by default, I'd like the others to be a little more outdoorsy. I've heard good things about Bonito, Floripa, and Porto Alegre. Thoughts on Iguazu Falls? or any Amazon treks?

Appreciate any input you guys have - I'll be sure to write something up when I get back for future reference.]]>
I just booked a trip of a little under 2 weeks in June, so I'd like to hear about any thoughts, experiences, and recommendations you all might have. To be honest I havn't done a ton of planing besides buying the return trip into and out of Rio, but that's how I like to travel so please bare with me. With about 12 days on the ground, I'd like to fit in two or three cities.


Some background:

1) It's my first time in Brazil and, as of today, I speak zero words of Portugese. I intend on going through a beginners program - I've seen Primsleur mentioned on here, seems well suited to my needs - and maybe getting a session or two of tutoring before I head out. Practically, I'd like cities that are not complete hill-towns where no one speaks a word of English. Otherwise I'm definitely open to second or third tier cities that are a bit off the beaten path.

2) In general, I'd like as much cultural experiences as possible. I intend on dedicating an hour or two learning the language, maybe taking a few BJJ lessons, definitely some samba. I'm open to other things though, so all ears on ideas and the city to look into them.

3) I'll be traveling alone, but it's not my first backpacking trip. Money, within reason, is not a huge issue despite what I've heard about ridiculous prices in Rio. Nightlife/partying/pick up is not a priority, although I do intend on going out.

4) Since Rio will be one of the cities by default, I'd like the others to be a little more outdoorsy. I've heard good things about Bonito, Floripa, and Porto Alegre. Thoughts on Iguazu Falls? or any Amazon treks?

Appreciate any input you guys have - I'll be sure to write something up when I get back for future reference.]]> http://postmasculine.com/forum/Thread-How-the-online-courses-work Fri, 24 May 2013 23:57:21 +0000 http://postmasculine.com/forum/Thread-How-the-online-courses-work http://postmasculine.com/forum/Thread-A-Dark-Side-to-Having-Goals Fri, 24 May 2013 23:18:12 +0000 http://postmasculine.com/forum/Thread-A-Dark-Side-to-Having-Goals
I have always felt like I need to have a "goal" when I'm doing something. This means that I often don't have "fun" because I have trouble accepting what is right now while I'm looking for something. Sometimes this results in me not being present in conversations with people.

The number one "goal" that distracts my attention is looking for or at women. I am always on high alert for anything attractive. I feel like wherever I am, the goal is to find a hot woman. Combined with low self-confience and high social anxiety, this has always made social situations and parties absolute hell for me. I can't just sit in the ambiance and enjoy, I have to search for something I know I won't even attempt to go after if I find it.

Now I've put in a lot of work to deal with these things. My confidence is a better, my anxiety is much better, and I'm generally more aware of the "present". I actually have a lot of people tell me that I am a great listener which contradicts the things I've said about myself above.

However, this "goal of women" is so engrained that it still is very prevalent. I've noticed that I treat dating as a goal.

Find a great woman > use her as a test of how far I've come in "fixing" myself > she starts to like me > I've achieved my goal > time to move on to the next one and try again at a harder "difficulty level"

I know this is unhealthy, but with all the talk and importance we place on "goals", I've realized that I see no "goal" of having a long-term committed relationship with a woman. To me the "journey" (in this example "seductive process") is the fun, but after a woman wants to be with me I feel like the "journey ends". Even when I was in very clingy, dependent relationships I felt this deep down.

"Ok, we are a couple... now what... just hang out and have sex until we get bored with each other?"

Is there a "goal" in having a relationship?


In short, the only thing that interests me and has ever interested me at a significant level is the pursuit of women/sex. I feel like once I get that I need to start the pursuit over. You may disagree, but I don't view this as using women. I still have strong feelings for most of the women I've known, but I don't see a "purpose" or "higher goal" after the initial attraction.

Is it possible to accept that I feel this way and live a fulfilling life only having casual, yet important relationships? Is this just completely unhealthy and if so can you give me some tips on how to make the relationship the actual journey?]]>
I have always felt like I need to have a "goal" when I'm doing something. This means that I often don't have "fun" because I have trouble accepting what is right now while I'm looking for something. Sometimes this results in me not being present in conversations with people.

The number one "goal" that distracts my attention is looking for or at women. I am always on high alert for anything attractive. I feel like wherever I am, the goal is to find a hot woman. Combined with low self-confience and high social anxiety, this has always made social situations and parties absolute hell for me. I can't just sit in the ambiance and enjoy, I have to search for something I know I won't even attempt to go after if I find it.

Now I've put in a lot of work to deal with these things. My confidence is a better, my anxiety is much better, and I'm generally more aware of the "present". I actually have a lot of people tell me that I am a great listener which contradicts the things I've said about myself above.

However, this "goal of women" is so engrained that it still is very prevalent. I've noticed that I treat dating as a goal.

Find a great woman > use her as a test of how far I've come in "fixing" myself > she starts to like me > I've achieved my goal > time to move on to the next one and try again at a harder "difficulty level"

I know this is unhealthy, but with all the talk and importance we place on "goals", I've realized that I see no "goal" of having a long-term committed relationship with a woman. To me the "journey" (in this example "seductive process") is the fun, but after a woman wants to be with me I feel like the "journey ends". Even when I was in very clingy, dependent relationships I felt this deep down.

"Ok, we are a couple... now what... just hang out and have sex until we get bored with each other?"

Is there a "goal" in having a relationship?


In short, the only thing that interests me and has ever interested me at a significant level is the pursuit of women/sex. I feel like once I get that I need to start the pursuit over. You may disagree, but I don't view this as using women. I still have strong feelings for most of the women I've known, but I don't see a "purpose" or "higher goal" after the initial attraction.

Is it possible to accept that I feel this way and live a fulfilling life only having casual, yet important relationships? Is this just completely unhealthy and if so can you give me some tips on how to make the relationship the actual journey?]]> http://postmasculine.com/forum/Thread-Sucky-situation-at-work Fri, 24 May 2013 22:11:29 +0000 http://postmasculine.com/forum/Thread-Sucky-situation-at-work
This is really stressing me out. I arguably have the easiest job in the entire company, and now I need to prove that they will still need me. So pretty soon I'll have to learn my coworkers' jobs and out-perform them if I'm going to stick around. They'll have to learn my job too.

Do you guys have any recommendations here or experience with this? I don't really love my job or anything, but I need a paycheck, obviously. I do NOT want to lose my job.

And the most aggravating part of this is that I'll probably need to cross-train under the woman I've written about here many times, ie the one who "used me" last year. I don't report directly to her, but she is a manager in my department, and now she'll in essence be my boss for certain projects and give feedback on my performance

God this sucks.

--]]>
This is really stressing me out. I arguably have the easiest job in the entire company, and now I need to prove that they will still need me. So pretty soon I'll have to learn my coworkers' jobs and out-perform them if I'm going to stick around. They'll have to learn my job too.

Do you guys have any recommendations here or experience with this? I don't really love my job or anything, but I need a paycheck, obviously. I do NOT want to lose my job.

And the most aggravating part of this is that I'll probably need to cross-train under the woman I've written about here many times, ie the one who "used me" last year. I don't report directly to her, but she is a manager in my department, and now she'll in essence be my boss for certain projects and give feedback on my performance

God this sucks.

--]]> http://postmasculine.com/forum/Thread-One-night-stand Fri, 24 May 2013 19:33:03 +0000 http://postmasculine.com/forum/Thread-One-night-stand http://postmasculine.com/forum/Thread-Chemistry Fri, 24 May 2013 19:03:13 +0000 http://postmasculine.com/forum/Thread-Chemistry http://postmasculine.com/forum/Thread-First-Night-Sarging-Wow Fri, 24 May 2013 17:06:53 +0000 http://postmasculine.com/forum/Thread-First-Night-Sarging-Wow
First place I go i go to the counter of a game store and there are these 2 girls there, they were young but I was not there to get their numbers. I asked a general question, I say thank you, and then this girl just starts chatting my ear off and we end up talking for like 20 mins. It was fun and a good warm up, I wasent planning to ask her for her number and the problem was, (this was a good learning experience) that when you are so indirect its hard to then dig yourself out and ask for a number. I didnt care so much because I wasent really that into her, although she was cute. Every time I tried to leave she would just start up again, it was comical. Then her friend was like helping her out by taking the customers and answer the phone so she could talk to me. What was also interesting was a couple customers in line started smirking cause they saw what was going on, and I wanted to have one of them try to c-block me so I could learn what to do in that situation but they ended up being cool.

The biggest thing was that I really forced myself to not ask her for her number because while she was cute, she just didnt do it for me. And that is something that a few months ago I would of considered insane. So finally I just decided that I had to go, and had a pleasant good bye exchange and went on my way. It was a really good start and I felt much more confident.

So I am wandering around the mall and then I come across what turned out to be the almost perfect situation to practice almost everything. I walk up to these 2 cute girls working a skin care booth, and I ask them where the starbucks is. This one adorable girl grabs my arm and starts to do her sales pitch. I hate when people do that, so I decided that since she was cute I was going to make her pay for doing this by flirting my ass off with her. She was super aggressive and trying to control the frame (is that another bs PUA term? LOL) and I decided I would not let her. So as Im planning on how to start flirting she gives me a huge opening and tells me I am very handsome in the most adorable Israeli accent. So I counter with you are very beautiful and she blushes and in my mind im like "its on!". She starts rubbing my arm with this product and then she starts drilling me about my age, martial situation, if I have kids, etc, (these were what I thought were my weak spots) and as confident as possible I tell her, 36, divorced, with a kid but maintain the frame and eye contact, and then to flip it I ask her her age and she says 23. So I tell her that she is 2 years below the cut off and what a shame. Its so crazy how stuff like that works with women cause then she tries to qualify herself talking about how mature she is, etc, etc. Guys, control the frame, and remain confident and if the girl is attracted to you, if you dont show weakness, the weakness you preceive in yourself are just in your head. (Unless your like a crack addict or something crazy).

So she is rubbing this stuff on my arm, and we lock eyes and i do not remember the last time I had such intense and incredible eye contact with someone. We literally stared directly into each other eyes for like intervals lasting minutes with no break. I remember reading about eye contact and the highest level was called "eye fuc*ing" and it was this times 10. Then the bubble forms and we are just in each others world until I realized that she had been rubbing my arm for like 8 minutes. LOL! So i ask her, does she rub each customers arm for this long, and again, laugh, blush, rinse repeat. I could tell she was new in this country and was not used to men flurting this hard with her, cause every compliment I gave her she literally paused and almost tried to get her breath. Dudes, this was INSANE!!!

So she puts the hard sell on, she tells me what "the deal" will be. And I counter, well, THIS is my deal. Your give me your number, and I'll take you out, and if I like you and find you interesting, I'll buy whatever you want. She tells me she will give me her number anyway, and I said well there is another problem for you and its that I dont let beautiful women talk me into things. It was amazing how I, a person who would always let a woman take the frame, was controlling the frame with such an aggressive beautiful woman. And she was eating it up! Its so crazy, you'd think it would piss them off, but they love it. (You just have to do it playfully and not be a dick). So she keeps trying to take it back and says well, im sure you are meeting someone special at starbucks, and I say that I just made that up to talk to you, again, bashful red face, defeated! LOL! (i know some of this you guys had to be there to fully appreciate this, and im just posting this cause i think if any of this can help you guys its worth it)

So after like 40 mins of just insane eye fuc*ing, touching, and just all around fun, it comes up that she is a practicing jew. Now, I have no issue with any religion, but I know Israelis, I used to work for them, and serious Israeli jews really do not allow dating outside their religion. And when they do, it causes alot of trouble for the Israli doing it. Its like Islam, but just not as bad (i think.) And that my friends, for me is an outright deal breaker. I asked about her family and how they would feel and made her be honest and I could tell it would have gone over about as well if she decided to date a Palestinian. lol

This girl was such an angel (totally not in my right mind, LOL, thats what women do) that I told her I couldnt do that to her, plus I've been down that road before and it just doesnt work. She asked what religion I was, and I told her, oh im a bad boy, you should stay away from me, I am an atheist. And you'd think that would turn her off, but it just made her more into it.

So then feeling strong, even though I was loving this girl, I told her in a joking manner she should stay away from me because I am trouble. She said she wanted to see me again and I should at least visit her and I said playfully that no we should avoid each other because we would get into trouble. So I told her again playfully that I couldnt ask her for her number then, and she basicly forced it in my hand in a paper, so I did take it. I then put out my hand and shook hers and she would not let go of it for like 4 mins. Again, insane! LOL

I then said, enjoy your evening and went on my way. It was like the perfect encounter for where I am with all this. Now, I do have a problem, I really need to stay away from this girl, and thats going to be hard. We'll see what happens, but in my experience stuff like that never works, plus religious girls most of the time have sexual repression issues cause the religions make them feel guilty about sex.

But anyway, thought I'd share, Im thankful to Mark and some of the other real deal people out there that write about this stuff. You know why the BS PUA works at first? Cause if a girl is into you, she'll put up with whatever BS lines you pull. Its not the PUA or openers or a2 a3 whatever. Its YOU! She likes YOU! not the material.

end of essay ]]>
First place I go i go to the counter of a game store and there are these 2 girls there, they were young but I was not there to get their numbers. I asked a general question, I say thank you, and then this girl just starts chatting my ear off and we end up talking for like 20 mins. It was fun and a good warm up, I wasent planning to ask her for her number and the problem was, (this was a good learning experience) that when you are so indirect its hard to then dig yourself out and ask for a number. I didnt care so much because I wasent really that into her, although she was cute. Every time I tried to leave she would just start up again, it was comical. Then her friend was like helping her out by taking the customers and answer the phone so she could talk to me. What was also interesting was a couple customers in line started smirking cause they saw what was going on, and I wanted to have one of them try to c-block me so I could learn what to do in that situation but they ended up being cool.

The biggest thing was that I really forced myself to not ask her for her number because while she was cute, she just didnt do it for me. And that is something that a few months ago I would of considered insane. So finally I just decided that I had to go, and had a pleasant good bye exchange and went on my way. It was a really good start and I felt much more confident.

So I am wandering around the mall and then I come across what turned out to be the almost perfect situation to practice almost everything. I walk up to these 2 cute girls working a skin care booth, and I ask them where the starbucks is. This one adorable girl grabs my arm and starts to do her sales pitch. I hate when people do that, so I decided that since she was cute I was going to make her pay for doing this by flirting my ass off with her. She was super aggressive and trying to control the frame (is that another bs PUA term? LOL) and I decided I would not let her. So as Im planning on how to start flirting she gives me a huge opening and tells me I am very handsome in the most adorable Israeli accent. So I counter with you are very beautiful and she blushes and in my mind im like "its on!". She starts rubbing my arm with this product and then she starts drilling me about my age, martial situation, if I have kids, etc, (these were what I thought were my weak spots) and as confident as possible I tell her, 36, divorced, with a kid but maintain the frame and eye contact, and then to flip it I ask her her age and she says 23. So I tell her that she is 2 years below the cut off and what a shame. Its so crazy how stuff like that works with women cause then she tries to qualify herself talking about how mature she is, etc, etc. Guys, control the frame, and remain confident and if the girl is attracted to you, if you dont show weakness, the weakness you preceive in yourself are just in your head. (Unless your like a crack addict or something crazy).

So she is rubbing this stuff on my arm, and we lock eyes and i do not remember the last time I had such intense and incredible eye contact with someone. We literally stared directly into each other eyes for like intervals lasting minutes with no break. I remember reading about eye contact and the highest level was called "eye fuc*ing" and it was this times 10. Then the bubble forms and we are just in each others world until I realized that she had been rubbing my arm for like 8 minutes. LOL! So i ask her, does she rub each customers arm for this long, and again, laugh, blush, rinse repeat. I could tell she was new in this country and was not used to men flurting this hard with her, cause every compliment I gave her she literally paused and almost tried to get her breath. Dudes, this was INSANE!!!

So she puts the hard sell on, she tells me what "the deal" will be. And I counter, well, THIS is my deal. Your give me your number, and I'll take you out, and if I like you and find you interesting, I'll buy whatever you want. She tells me she will give me her number anyway, and I said well there is another problem for you and its that I dont let beautiful women talk me into things. It was amazing how I, a person who would always let a woman take the frame, was controlling the frame with such an aggressive beautiful woman. And she was eating it up! Its so crazy, you'd think it would piss them off, but they love it. (You just have to do it playfully and not be a dick). So she keeps trying to take it back and says well, im sure you are meeting someone special at starbucks, and I say that I just made that up to talk to you, again, bashful red face, defeated! LOL! (i know some of this you guys had to be there to fully appreciate this, and im just posting this cause i think if any of this can help you guys its worth it)

So after like 40 mins of just insane eye fuc*ing, touching, and just all around fun, it comes up that she is a practicing jew. Now, I have no issue with any religion, but I know Israelis, I used to work for them, and serious Israeli jews really do not allow dating outside their religion. And when they do, it causes alot of trouble for the Israli doing it. Its like Islam, but just not as bad (i think.) And that my friends, for me is an outright deal breaker. I asked about her family and how they would feel and made her be honest and I could tell it would have gone over about as well if she decided to date a Palestinian. lol

This girl was such an angel (totally not in my right mind, LOL, thats what women do) that I told her I couldnt do that to her, plus I've been down that road before and it just doesnt work. She asked what religion I was, and I told her, oh im a bad boy, you should stay away from me, I am an atheist. And you'd think that would turn her off, but it just made her more into it.

So then feeling strong, even though I was loving this girl, I told her in a joking manner she should stay away from me because I am trouble. She said she wanted to see me again and I should at least visit her and I said playfully that no we should avoid each other because we would get into trouble. So I told her again playfully that I couldnt ask her for her number then, and she basicly forced it in my hand in a paper, so I did take it. I then put out my hand and shook hers and she would not let go of it for like 4 mins. Again, insane! LOL

I then said, enjoy your evening and went on my way. It was like the perfect encounter for where I am with all this. Now, I do have a problem, I really need to stay away from this girl, and thats going to be hard. We'll see what happens, but in my experience stuff like that never works, plus religious girls most of the time have sexual repression issues cause the religions make them feel guilty about sex.

But anyway, thought I'd share, Im thankful to Mark and some of the other real deal people out there that write about this stuff. You know why the BS PUA works at first? Cause if a girl is into you, she'll put up with whatever BS lines you pull. Its not the PUA or openers or a2 a3 whatever. Its YOU! She likes YOU! not the material.

end of essay ]]> http://postmasculine.com/forum/Thread-Long-Time-Reader-First-Time-Poster Fri, 24 May 2013 04:01:19 +0000 http://postmasculine.com/forum/Thread-Long-Time-Reader-First-Time-Poster
I'm 26 years old and I'm coming to the conclusion whether real or imagined that I am a failure. Though I manage to graduate high school in 2005. I decided to take a year off to work and the next year I went to community college until I quit because of my issues with math. Now, I'm stuck at a retail job with nothing else on my plate.

I have some interest, such as: film, politics and culture. But I'm not sure how passionate I am about those things. I don't have any skills that set me apart, a co-worker said I was funny and should do stand up comedy (I even do some YouTube comedy videos with him) but I have no confidence in my abilities.

I have a history of depression, suicidal thoughts (though never attempted) and ADHD. My home life is decent, but I have a mother who's a wonderful person, but I've grown tired of being something of a surrogate husband to the one she divorced a decade ago. I want to move on with my own life. My relationship with my father is nonexistent, I would like one, but we are different people. My younger brother is great, but our relationship isn't much and I blame myself for that, I was kind of jealous of the relationship he had with my dad and I took it out on him. I feel like overall I'm been a pretty shitty: friend, brother, son, grandson and nephew.

My relationship with women is terrible. My most recent one didn't even officially end, she just stop talking to me. I don't blame her, when it comes to women I have nothing to offer. Women want a man who offers something new and exciting, not some loser who's only confident after a few drinks. I've never had a great relationship with the opposite sex. Probably because I'm more obsessed with getting off than anything else. I'm an attractive guy but unless your gay that doesn't really help.

I feel alone, I've tried so many silly things to avoid this, from experimenting as a Bisexual to going to local BDSM events. I'm such a fucking teens going through this shit.

I'm posting on this site, because I want to change, I want to mature, to grow and to become man I was meant to be.]]>
I'm 26 years old and I'm coming to the conclusion whether real or imagined that I am a failure. Though I manage to graduate high school in 2005. I decided to take a year off to work and the next year I went to community college until I quit because of my issues with math. Now, I'm stuck at a retail job with nothing else on my plate.

I have some interest, such as: film, politics and culture. But I'm not sure how passionate I am about those things. I don't have any skills that set me apart, a co-worker said I was funny and should do stand up comedy (I even do some YouTube comedy videos with him) but I have no confidence in my abilities.

I have a history of depression, suicidal thoughts (though never attempted) and ADHD. My home life is decent, but I have a mother who's a wonderful person, but I've grown tired of being something of a surrogate husband to the one she divorced a decade ago. I want to move on with my own life. My relationship with my father is nonexistent, I would like one, but we are different people. My younger brother is great, but our relationship isn't much and I blame myself for that, I was kind of jealous of the relationship he had with my dad and I took it out on him. I feel like overall I'm been a pretty shitty: friend, brother, son, grandson and nephew.

My relationship with women is terrible. My most recent one didn't even officially end, she just stop talking to me. I don't blame her, when it comes to women I have nothing to offer. Women want a man who offers something new and exciting, not some loser who's only confident after a few drinks. I've never had a great relationship with the opposite sex. Probably because I'm more obsessed with getting off than anything else. I'm an attractive guy but unless your gay that doesn't really help.

I feel alone, I've tried so many silly things to avoid this, from experimenting as a Bisexual to going to local BDSM events. I'm such a fucking teens going through this shit.

I'm posting on this site, because I want to change, I want to mature, to grow and to become man I was meant to be.]]> http://postmasculine.com/forum/Thread-Good-books-on-the-type-A-personality Fri, 24 May 2013 03:18:01 +0000 http://postmasculine.com/forum/Thread-Good-books-on-the-type-A-personality
Any good suggestions would be very appreciated, thanks!]]>
Any good suggestions would be very appreciated, thanks!]]> http://postmasculine.com/forum/Thread-What-companies-will-not-exist-in-20-years Fri, 24 May 2013 03:02:25 +0000 http://postmasculine.com/forum/Thread-What-companies-will-not-exist-in-20-years
Microsoft
Netflix
Best Buy
JC Penny?

Blackberry
Facebook?


Out of that list I think Best Buy will go first....]]>
Microsoft
Netflix
Best Buy
JC Penny?

Blackberry
Facebook?


Out of that list I think Best Buy will go first....]]> http://postmasculine.com/forum/Thread-Emotional-Connection-Issues Thu, 23 May 2013 23:15:44 +0000 http://postmasculine.com/forum/Thread-Emotional-Connection-Issues By doing this, I have become really introspective, trying to get to the roots of my insecurities.

I think one of the main issues I've come across, is the fact that I am incapable of connecting on an emotional level with someone.
As far as I can remember (I'm 21 now), I have been very shy, and from about my early to mid teens, I have been a very anxious individual, experiencing mild depression and depersonalisation.

This clearly took away my ability to converse properly with people, even close friends and family. It's only been in the past two or three years that I've started to come out of my shell, and battle my anxiety.
However, it has become apparent to me, that this prolonged shyness and anxiety has led me to be emotionally disconnected from everything and everyone around me.

When I leave home for long periods of time, I don't miss anyone, not even my family. When I talk to girls, I feel no real emotional connection with them. When I sleep with girls, they are usually nothing more than sex objects.

My whole life I have been in a shell, closed off from the world and everyone in it, and now that I'm emerging, It's like I'm conditioned do be disconnected.
I guess my question is, can anyone relate? Has anyone felt like this, and been able to move past it? I'd be interested to know any stories, or advice.
I'm hoping the Approach Programme I'm currently on will help.]]> By doing this, I have become really introspective, trying to get to the roots of my insecurities.

I think one of the main issues I've come across, is the fact that I am incapable of connecting on an emotional level with someone.
As far as I can remember (I'm 21 now), I have been very shy, and from about my early to mid teens, I have been a very anxious individual, experiencing mild depression and depersonalisation.

This clearly took away my ability to converse properly with people, even close friends and family. It's only been in the past two or three years that I've started to come out of my shell, and battle my anxiety.
However, it has become apparent to me, that this prolonged shyness and anxiety has led me to be emotionally disconnected from everything and everyone around me.

When I leave home for long periods of time, I don't miss anyone, not even my family. When I talk to girls, I feel no real emotional connection with them. When I sleep with girls, they are usually nothing more than sex objects.

My whole life I have been in a shell, closed off from the world and everyone in it, and now that I'm emerging, It's like I'm conditioned do be disconnected.
I guess my question is, can anyone relate? Has anyone felt like this, and been able to move past it? I'd be interested to know any stories, or advice.
I'm hoping the Approach Programme I'm currently on will help.]]> http://postmasculine.com/forum/Thread-Contacted-by-my-ex-for-a-really-weird-reason Thu, 23 May 2013 16:54:51 +0000 http://postmasculine.com/forum/Thread-Contacted-by-my-ex-for-a-really-weird-reason
My parents run the Mrs. Minnesota Pageant, which is coming up in June. Every year I bring 20 or so friends, and we all sit in the 2nd row and make fun of it while my mom is the host.

Just a min ago I got an email from my ex, whom I haven't spoken to in almost 2 years. The last time I heard from her was an angry and depressing email about how she really wanted to see me again and was hurt that I'd dumped her. That was April 2012, so over a year ago.

Today's email wasn't about that. It was that she was wondering if I can get two tickets for a couple of her friends to come to the pageant with me. This does NOT include her though. Turns out she brought these friends a few years ago, so they've already been to the pageant once.

But here's the weird thing: one of these friends is the reigning winner of my mom's COMPETITOR'S pageant.

I know...this is all really, really weird.

I don't even know where to go with this. WTF would you do in this situation? Would you even reply to her request? I have NO idea why she is doing this, and I also don't know why she wouldn't just forward my email to her friends to ask me themselves. But I can't talk to my ex anymore. I broke up with her for a number of reasons, and it needs to stay that way.

Any and all thoughts are welcome ]]>
My parents run the Mrs. Minnesota Pageant, which is coming up in June. Every year I bring 20 or so friends, and we all sit in the 2nd row and make fun of it while my mom is the host.

Just a min ago I got an email from my ex, whom I haven't spoken to in almost 2 years. The last time I heard from her was an angry and depressing email about how she really wanted to see me again and was hurt that I'd dumped her. That was April 2012, so over a year ago.

Today's email wasn't about that. It was that she was wondering if I can get two tickets for a couple of her friends to come to the pageant with me. This does NOT include her though. Turns out she brought these friends a few years ago, so they've already been to the pageant once.

But here's the weird thing: one of these friends is the reigning winner of my mom's COMPETITOR'S pageant.

I know...this is all really, really weird.

I don't even know where to go with this. WTF would you do in this situation? Would you even reply to her request? I have NO idea why she is doing this, and I also don't know why she wouldn't just forward my email to her friends to ask me themselves. But I can't talk to my ex anymore. I broke up with her for a number of reasons, and it needs to stay that way.

Any and all thoughts are welcome ]]> http://postmasculine.com/forum/Thread-Testosterone-replacement-therapy Thu, 23 May 2013 02:35:14 +0000 http://postmasculine.com/forum/Thread-Testosterone-replacement-therapy
I have noticed that I have trouble losing belly fat even though I exercise and eat reasonably well.

I have also noticed that I have trouble gaining muscle mass and strength when "bulking".

Finally, I have noticed that I am sometimes moody.

Do you all think testosterone therapy is a good idea?

Or should I try to get my doctor to prescribe me HCG?

Or do none of the above?]]>
I have noticed that I have trouble losing belly fat even though I exercise and eat reasonably well.

I have also noticed that I have trouble gaining muscle mass and strength when "bulking".

Finally, I have noticed that I am sometimes moody.

Do you all think testosterone therapy is a good idea?

Or should I try to get my doctor to prescribe me HCG?

Or do none of the above?]]> http://postmasculine.com/forum/Thread-Acne-and-confidence Thu, 23 May 2013 02:03:21 +0000 http://postmasculine.com/forum/Thread-Acne-and-confidence
I post this because I have an undoubtable limiting belief that no one can find me attractive with active acne. Some redness on my face, I could care less about. But when I get a breakout, my confidence goes down the tubes and I can barely look people in the eye until it heals up. As I post this, I just had a breakout the past couple days that have left some very noticeable red patches on the bottom right of my face/jaw area, and am just having some low-self esteem as a result.

What do I do about this? Am I making a big deal out of a very minor issue? Is acne just another slight disadvantage that most people will not care about if I continue to act and behave in a confident manner?

I have never really had a problem with girls due to acne, but at the same time if I ever have breakouts that I consider bad I halt all advances until things heal up. What do I do to work on this mental issue?]]>
I post this because I have an undoubtable limiting belief that no one can find me attractive with active acne. Some redness on my face, I could care less about. But when I get a breakout, my confidence goes down the tubes and I can barely look people in the eye until it heals up. As I post this, I just had a breakout the past couple days that have left some very noticeable red patches on the bottom right of my face/jaw area, and am just having some low-self esteem as a result.

What do I do about this? Am I making a big deal out of a very minor issue? Is acne just another slight disadvantage that most people will not care about if I continue to act and behave in a confident manner?

I have never really had a problem with girls due to acne, but at the same time if I ever have breakouts that I consider bad I halt all advances until things heal up. What do I do to work on this mental issue?]]> http://postmasculine.com/forum/Thread-Health-insurance-for-USA-citizens-living-abroad Wed, 22 May 2013 22:20:56 +0000 http://postmasculine.com/forum/Thread-Health-insurance-for-USA-citizens-living-abroad
In contrast, my international insurance, must be renewed by May 25, 2013, will cost $2845 if paid in full, or about $285 per month if paid monthly! That is a big difference than Mark's $65/month. To qualify for this insurance I must live outside the USA, and I do. This is not premium insurance, and the deductable is $2500! But it is valid just about anywhere in the world including the USA.

Does anyone have advice or referals to find quality international health insurance at a lower cost? I have three days to figure it out.]]>
In contrast, my international insurance, must be renewed by May 25, 2013, will cost $2845 if paid in full, or about $285 per month if paid monthly! That is a big difference than Mark's $65/month. To qualify for this insurance I must live outside the USA, and I do. This is not premium insurance, and the deductable is $2500! But it is valid just about anywhere in the world including the USA.

Does anyone have advice or referals to find quality international health insurance at a lower cost? I have three days to figure it out.]]> http://postmasculine.com/forum/Thread-How-to-Read-Faster-and-Retain-More Wed, 22 May 2013 20:54:03 +0000 http://postmasculine.com/forum/Thread-How-to-Read-Faster-and-Retain-More http://postmasculine.com/read-faster

Discuss here.]]> http://postmasculine.com/read-faster

Discuss here.]]> http://postmasculine.com/forum/Thread-Mr-Nice-Guy Wed, 22 May 2013 15:56:46 +0000 http://postmasculine.com/forum/Thread-Mr-Nice-Guy
Lastly, I met a great girl two weeks ago. I was enamored with her beauty and her positive spirit. Her positive spirit really won me over because that is an area in my life that I am working to improve. She also has other things going for her such as her intelligence and I like how quirky she is and owns it. Last night and this morning I have been worried that I've fucked it...again, I need [/size][/font]advice.]]>
Lastly, I met a great girl two weeks ago. I was enamored with her beauty and her positive spirit. Her positive spirit really won me over because that is an area in my life that I am working to improve. She also has other things going for her such as her intelligence and I like how quirky she is and owns it. Last night and this morning I have been worried that I've fucked it...again, I need [/size][/font]advice.]]> http://postmasculine.com/forum/Thread-3-Badass-Ideas-That-Will-Immediately-Change-Your-Life Wed, 22 May 2013 15:17:58 +0000 http://postmasculine.com/forum/Thread-3-Badass-Ideas-That-Will-Immediately-Change-Your-Life