The Official Insecurity Thread

[Edmond Dantès]

Halo, have you read "No More Mr Nice Guy" ? As far as I remember there was also a chapter on why nice guys are underachievers. Could be worth reading again in your case. Hope this tip helps you. Sounds like you underachieve to keep getting approval by your mother for playing it safe.


It's just a shot in the dark, but the only one who knows the answer is you.

The common way of nice-guy thinking is that they need the approval of their surrounding (especially their moms) to feel safe. There's a deep anxiety of all nice guys in them that, if they don't get the approval of their moms caused by them acting different than their mothers want them to be, then they'll be abandoned and abandonment is the greatest fear of a nice guy, because for a child abandonment equals death.


Edit:

Found it, reread chapter 2 and chapter 9 in general...sounds like you've got the belief: "If I'll be successfull, I won't be liked anymore"