The Official Insecurity Thread

[Creatine Dreams]

@oldguy: Don't give up dude. If you keep growing and improving, you will find a great girl. Now on to your second insecurity...

First off, you have experienced sex. Although prostitution is not an ideal way of having sex, it is still sex. So at least you know the mechanics of it. I just got out of my first real relationship, and I had the same fear.
Let me tell you, the first time was drunk and awkward but I quickly got better at it.

Here is the thing. Sex is way better with a steady partner because then you adapt to your partner and they adapt to you. I look at sex as being similar to kissing. It is a kinesthetic experience that gets better the more you become comfortable with a partner. The first time you have sex with a girl, you might not last long because it is a new stimulus and that can be very arousing. However, the next few times you have sex will be better. I think this has to do with being desensitized to your partner. You will last longer and that will allow you to get into a rhythm and find out what you like and what your partner likes.

Here is another thing. Sex will be way better if you have it with someone with whom you have a mutual emotional connection to. That is one thing that prostitution cannot give you. You need to find a girl who you like as a person and not just as a sex object. For me, attractiveness is a threshold issue. If I am attracted to someone, then the main thing I look to next is whether I enjoy spending time with them and whether they enjoy spending time with me.

Finally, this may be a little off topic, but I recommend you examine your usage of porn and masturbation habits. While it may not be a problem for you, it was definitely a problem for me. When I first started having sex with the girl I was dating, I had trouble getting an erection. My mind was conditioned towards being aroused by porn. Although I had no problems getting it up the first two times, I did have problems after I became desensitized to seeing her naked. As a result, I stopped watching all porn and cut down my masturbation to once a week. After that, I found that I lasted a lot longer and also found the girl to be sexier. This led to better sex, and better sex leads to sexual confidence. Which I now have.

Anyways, keep your head up and I wish you luck.