(03-30-2012 03:17 PM)Guyintheback Wrote: Yes, that probably is part of the solution and I know what you mean.
The thing is: I know that failing at a certain task doesn't mean I'm failing at life. I just take those failures (for example a failed approach) way too personal and brood over them endlessly.
I shared that fear related to women for some time, but there was a shift based mainly on my progression at work. Rationalization in this case helped me a lot because the problem was only present with women.
The thing is I know I want resolutive people in my team. I prefer someone that is able to take a decission and move forward, and that just take responsibility when he screws up, than people that just avoid taking any kind of action. That's a fact, I prefer that kind of people and in addition that's what has consistently got me promoted. As one of my bosses said, "you make a boss out of the ones who throw responsabilities on their own shoulders, not the most brilliant or the most qualified."
Look at it this way. The only people that will judge you for trying and failing is the people that never try themselves, the rest of us are not judging your success or failure, specially not with women, we judge just the trying part so whenever you find yourself thinking that way congrat yourself on trying.
I'm deathly serious, I have a friend that won't ever try to approach, not ever. I haven't seen him approaching ever. And I don't give a fuck if he fails or not, I've been rejected more than enough times to know it doesn't matter... And I have another friend that critiques him for not approaching... Guess who doesn't approach either?
Quote:I'm not gay, and I'm not saying that to be friendly, only because it is true: The first time I saw your picture on this site I thought "That is a good looking guy."
Well thanks. Fact is I know I'm reasonably good looking but a funny thing with self image is that, once you relax and take it to of your mind, specially when there isn't a mirror around to remind you that you're not fat anymore, you go back to your old self image. In my case, after having spend around 15 years being fat, that means that when I relax the "picture" that appears in my mind is the chubby kid walking in the club, and is that image what I have to fight. But as I said I think that's completely normal and expect it to disappear with time.