The Official Insecurity Thread

[andrewkent]

Great topic.

While I too am deathly afraid of commitment, it's a problem I think I will have to address a later point, mainly because I first need to deal with my greatest insecurity: my past.

I grew up poor. Like trailer house, sit in front of the oven when it's cold because mom and dad couldn't pay the gas bill poor.

Over the last couple of years, I've actually started to wear this as a badge of honor. I convinced myself that I can honestly say that I've earned everything I've accomplished because I didn't have any help from the cosmic crapshoot that a person's birthright.

However, that argument seems to be more like rationalization sometimes, especially when it comes to women.

I'll meet a new girl, and she's great and I'm into her and she's into me, then all of a fucking sudden, I have this complex develop about my impoverished upbringing.

I start thinking there's no fucking way she'll like me when she finds out how I grew up, or if I ever introduced her to my family and she sees the house my parents live in, or something along those lines.

I know just how fucking ridiculous this is, because nearly all the girls I've dated over the last few years have come from pretty affluent means, and the ones that have found out about how poor I was actually found it somewhat endearing (as long as I wasn't being a pouty little bitch about it).

hmmm....