RE: Not Dead, Can't Quit! - HAKR's FRs/Journal
Went out yesterday after a while. Took me a while to get going, what I have realized is that you cannot think your way into approaching. You just have to jump into it. Easier said than done though.
But I approached a good amount of beautiful girls last night. Most of them shot me down, the ones that didn't turn away or pull away from me actually listened to me telling them how I felt that they were pretty or cute or whatever, they said thank you, I introduced myself but I could tell in the way they said their names back that they were not interested in me, they were halfway turning their backs onto me. (I can't really explain it in words, I know I wasn't creeping them out, but they just weren't interested).
-Went out after 2 weeks
-Approached enough girls that I REALLY liked
-Tried to push the conversation a little, make sure they weren't interested instead of just shy before leaving
-Pushed myself and didn't let fear/anxieties get the better of me
To Improve On
-Approached well, but I bailed out of a lot of chances. Still a lot of excuses in my head
-SMILE. I realized I have a serious face on when approaching at night.
-Make eye contact more (I usually touch them on the elbow and they have just about a second to see who am I before I am already leaning in and talking in their ear). Maybe I should try not leaning in and projecting my voice a lot more. Still fucking up on this, I noticed I mention this after every FR but it kinda slips out of my mind when I go out. Maybe leaning in instead of making eye contact and projecting my voice is a reaction to my anxiety that I do it unconsciously, I feel like I am scared other people will hear me.
-Mark said that it's of great importance that we process our interactions in a positive way. So what I want to know is how do I do so?
So for example last night I was shot down all the time, the women didn't seem to give me the time of day. Then at the end of the night, I am telling myself "Oh maybe night game isn't suited for me, every time I go out I get shot down. At least in daygame they listen to what I have to say." So it's not directly excuses like "I am only 5'2 or I am not as good looking as the other guys in here" but it feels like I have only understood this mentally, not completely emotionally. Anyhow I will never let these stop me, this is who I am, the cards I've been dealt and I'm going to make the most of it.
Anyways, so how do I view these interactions in a positive way? By telling myself "I am weeding out all the women who are not interested in me and getting closer to meeting those who will love me". Again, this makes sense mentally, but somewhere deep inside I do not really believe it.
BTW, I am constantly challenging my beliefs and emotions that come up using The Work and Sedona method. Thinking of implementing some body work on top of working out.
I will probably go out tonight too.
(This post was last modified: 03-10-2012 10:10 PM by hakr.)