Attraction Male and Neediness

[Tim]

"Guys who are trying to bang 100 girls usually need to get a girlfriend. Guys who are trying to get a girlfriend usually need to bang 100 girls."-Mark Manson

You can be needy and desperate for either one, and I think it's ridiculous to say that the desire for sex is some how less so. Guys seek both for validation, security, etc, and if you think that either of those is inherently more needy than the other then chances are it's due to your own relation to either one.

On the other hand, there is a definite bias on this forum towards getting laid rather than getting a girlfriend. The fact is, the majority of guys in the world aren't looking for more than a handful of one night stands in their whole lifetime, let alone constantly. They're hoping to find one girl that can spend a lot of time being happy with, and then if she doesn't work out, they'll keep going until eventually they find they just want one to settle down with. The fact that the guys on this forum (myself included) are looking for a lot more casual sex than those guys can fool us into thinking that their neediness is somehow different to ours.

Neediness in either of those situations is about whether you're willing to stick to your standards or not. If you get a girlfriend who you're not really attracted to, who mistreats you, or who you're just not compatible with, then you're needy. If you're willing to sleep with girls you're not really attracted to, who mistreat you, or who you're just not compatible with, then you're needy.