Abundance Mentality Pitfall?

[trader4life]

I know Mark has written about the Abundance Mentality Paradox, but I think this is a bit different; specifically having this as a part of your beliefs when you are actually in a relationship. Now before I get started I know the common response might be to say that “the girls (women) are likely insecure” but I do not think that is always the case. Basically what I am dealing with is in two relationships in the last two years and with a handful of “dating exclusively” scenarios I am finding that having an abundance mentality when I am semi-serious with a woman is creating issues. I think we have all been there where a girl likes you (maybe a lot or even has professed her love) and you like her quite a bit too, but she will directly or indirectly ask things along the lines of how would you feel if you “lost her” or something of that nature.

When I have found myself in these situations I am always honest, maybe even brutally, and will answer with something like “well, if things didn’t work out we would both be fine, as we both have a lot to offer someone.” Or even when just having general relationship conversations and the subject of cheating comes up and I often say something like “I don’t worry about a girl cheating on me because that is just a sign that she is not the right one and I know that just means that something better likely lies in my future.”

Now I know things like this might sound kinda dickish, or like I am trying to be aloof in these situations, but it really is how I feel now – not just with women either but pretty much every aspect of my life. Again, I am not doing this intentionally to get a reaction, but rather, it is really how and I feel and I am being genuine and honest. Most always the reaction might not come right away in the form of her being overly upset, but their body language says it all and it invariably results in a conversation about it (if not then) at some point in the near future. I think it creates a lot of attraction, but is making them somewhat guarded and in extreme cases to start acting needy (yes, insecure). I’ve even said things in a total sarcastic way (which is my normal personality) like “I would be crushed and destroyed and would likely never recover.” All while smiling. Again, not to be a dick but just to keep things light in nature if I feel it is too heavy of a conversation.
I sometimes feel like this is a good problem to have, but then again it is not the most pleasant thing to deal with.

I am curious what some of you guys that are really good think on this or to hear your experiences if you have anything similar.