Trust Issues

[Leo]

Excellent! That's what I'm talking about, you can recognize what's going on in your mind, step back and make a decision. As you said we have been CONDITIONED to act like this and thanks to EXPERIENCE I can step back and see the situation in a more objective way. I've noticed that these kind of girls elicit the same kind of reaction I used to have with my mom: looking for their approval even though they have an erratic behavior, because I like them and they don't give me their affection; just like my mom used to do. Even worse, these girls have trust issues so they do show their affection toward me sometimes, just to put it away later; way too similar to my experience with my mom. This kind of problems don't happen with girls that I don't like and have trust issues, I can easily see how sick they are and move on, but when I like a girl with trust issues I get emotional and just think about getting her affection no matter what.

I'm really glad I started this thread, has helped me a lot to recognize my mommy issues. Thank you again guys.

Alvar Wrote:Yes and no. Drawing from my own experience, I've been conditioned this way due to my upbringing and all the issues with my mom. As a result I do immediately notice and react when I find myself in the presence of a histrionic type. For the last 4 years I've been going back and forth between the more reserved girls and these girls. I haven't yet soothed the need in myself for that voice of the mother telling me how good and amazing I am, nor have I appreciated much girls who don't play guilt on me and forced me to seek their approval.

I've got a middle-aged lady living bellow who constantly complains of my noise. She once came to my door and asked me "why are you doing this to me" and told me that "you're much quieter when your children are over" - meaning she knows I have girls over. She has also sent me a couple of nasty sms's. My friends they all joke that she wants something from me and, even though I won't ever acknowledge, it turns me on, at times... And hell, trust me, you don't want to touch her with a stick. No stick whatsoever...

On the other hand seeing how this works in me is pretty powerful. I can stop, observe my mind, and decide before I act.