How to Stop Flaking - My Method (Input Appreciated)

[Mace]

(04-13-2012 10:14 PM)Tim Wrote:  The sad thing here is... she's actually excited to talk to you and is enjoying the conversation, but you're too oblivious as to why that is. You think it's because you 'ran a routine well' and that you've 'pumped her state' etc. But what you don't realise is that you had this great opportunity to genuinely connect with her there, and take the conversation somewhere personal. If you'd started talking about how you're really bad at sports too, or asked her more about whatever sport she said she played, that would have been so more real to her.

But instead you think that routine's job is done, and now it's time to move onto the next one. So you start talking about how one finger is longer than the other.

And you're coming from the perspective of a guy who's aware of these "routines".

Like I stated in the OP, I prefer to make my connection over the phone and on the first date, where I logistics are better and more intimate, and I can run "comfort". In our initial 10 minute interaction, I want her to leave thinking "he was a cool interesting guy, I'm intrigued by him, and I wouldn't mind getting to know him more."

I'll save that connecting / deep rapport stuff for later. After all, I've stopped her in the middle of campus, and there's only so much time for the interaction as we both have places to go.

Bottom line is, in the end the routines, tactics, and ploys WORKED. For a guy with no prior experience with women, this is FAR more useful than littering his head with an inner game pep talk. He now knows what to say, he can hone it, perfect it, and when he's become good enough and developed confidence, he can do away with the routines and tactics (as Mark has now done).