Here's one way to illustrate the difference between focusing on connection and focusing on "game":
Let's say you're talking to a girl. You're talking about interests and passions. Let's also say that you have travelled a bit.
Game approach: You mention travelling (or a story about travelling where you indirectly boast about your travelling), because that shows her that you are travelled, experienced; things of value. If you demonstrate your value correctly, then she will perceive you to have value and she will thus increase her attraction for you. Do enough of these things without showing negative traits and she will be into you. (Or that's how it should
happen according to this approach.)
Connecting: You mention traveling, because that truly is a passion of yours. One of two things will usually happen. (This is an oversimplification of reality obviously.)
1) She has no interest in travelling. In that case, your passion, your stories, they will not impress her whatsoever. She will not be interested. Her not being interested at all in this passion of yours will probably also decrease your interest in her. The subject will quickly be changed.
2) She will be passionate about travelling as well. Now you immediately have a click: a shared passion. This in itself feels good, and creates a connection between you. Now, you are interested in each other and ask each other about the places that you've visited, the experiences you've had, opinions about countries, and so on. A fun conversation is bound to happen.
So in that latter approach, it's not about a game where you convey qualities that impress her so your value becomes higher than hers which causes her to be attracted to you.
In stead, you convey interests, passions, traits, and so on, that allow you both to connect with each other if she shares them. She's not this alien being that is unknown and needs to be conquered. She's on your team, and you're looking for a connection.
The game proponents seem to view the female brain as a black box, and they try to manipulate the INPUT into the black box and then hope that the OUTPUT is attraction.
The connection proponents empathize with the woman, they are aware of what she feels, they share emotions, and if they connect with each other, they share desires, moving towards a shared goal.
Quote:Mark - To Mace's point though, he is saying that a lot of these guys that come onto this forum figuratively cannot walk from their house to their car. They're like someone who suffered a terrible car accident. You can't tell that person, "Just walk from your house to your car, you're thinking too much, don't make a big deal out of it!"
The way I see it now, staying with the analogy.
Mark says: It's going to be fucking hard, you're going to have to learn a lot and go through periods of pain, but YOU HAVE TO WALK.
PUA says: You gotta walk on your hands, bro.
Maybe that's easy to say now that I believe what I believe. Because I was impressed by Mystery at one point as well, although I never got deeply involved in PUA myself. But now I believe PUA is not a step between being bad with women and effortlessly connecting with women. PUA is the anti-connecting with women. (PUA meaning techniques, routines, strategies, lines, etc.)