Hot girls with guys with no game.

[IdEngager]

Ok, I've thought about this topic for a decent amount cause my best friend growing up and I have been on pretty much opposite sides of this forever. We've known each other since like the 6th grade, we've played a bunch of different sports together and share similar musical interests (how we've probably manged to stay friends for so long). but socially, pretty much polar opposites. I'm the one who's the partier, who everyone wants to hang out with, the one who gets girls unabashedly hitting on me, while he's goofy around strangers, but gets elected team captain and I have to say, has a long time girlfriend he is batting way out of his league with. At a bar, I look comfortable and in my element, while he seems terrified to interact with anyone he doesn't know, but in life, he generally gets what he wants.

I have to say, the one thing he excels at is really making people feel comfortable and trusting in him. While I always have a million things and a million interests on my mind, you interact with him and you know you'll be taken seriously and have his attention. You need someone to gather people people, make the phone calls, organize a trip, he's your man. He seems incredibly, almost absurdly passive at times (I've had yelling matches with him when I've felt he's been too nice, like taking himself out a game so someone else can play), but he pretty much always steps up when you need him to. I was almost shocked when I heard he almost broke up with his girl cause he was the one who wanted to explore other options. Bottom line is, if you can make people comfortable and trust in you, it opens up a lot of things (pun intended).

I really wouldn't have it any other way though. If it's not really congruent with the rest of your personality to be "the good guy everyone trusts", then it's not really going to work. I've never been the guy who wants to go to work, then crash and home and veg out in front of the TV, I get home and wanna play in my band, get out somewhere, explore new things. Both sides can learn from each other... if I let him know it's OK to be abrasive and confrontational once in a while, it's OK for me to trust and open up to people once in a while too.

EDIT: I have to add that my bandmate is wired the same way. I'm the one who gets the swoon, but he's the one who's dated someone for any decent amount of time more recently. I do 90% of the work to get new gigs, but he drags out most of our friends who actually come out. I have to say, while his circle of friends might be smaller, each interaction is probably deeper... we probably need each other in this way, me to push things and do most of the work (to be honest), him to keep things from flying all apart.