Some SMART guy, PLEASE help me with this
So I got introduced to this post by an internet buddy. Supposenly It should totally change my view on things and it might aswell give me an instant click he said. But It doesnt and I find my self confused trying to really understand what the author mean.
This seems like a practical no bullshit approach forum for seduction so I thought maybe someone of you could help me out. Ill post the article here so maybe some of you could help me understand it and get the point.
Some absolutely crucial concepts here...
-You're born with it, just like arms and legs.
-It is indescribable -- like MOJO or SOUL.
-You have it as a child until it becomes wounded (it takes years to find it again -- and "re-remember" the self-esteem you had as a child)
-Feeds off of nothing, as it is self sustaining
-A rational construct that we devise as a substitute for self-esteem (when it has become too wounded to provide confidence anymore).
-Getting status, making money, pulling girls -- these things allow us to LOGICALLY tell ourselves "I have confidence".
-Different from "self esteem" because self esteem is a INNATE HUMAN ATTRIBUTE whereas ego is a MAN MADE PSYCHOLOGICAL CONSTRUCT
-Feeds off of continual attention, accolades, good reactions, etc..
Now you could argue that EGO is a stronger form of confidence than self-esteem, because ego is based on something rational.
However, being even more objective, self-esteem is an INNATE CHARACTERISTIC and something you're born with, just like arms or legs.
Remember -- there is no logical reason for having it.
You just have it because you're born with it. It's innate.
So when someone says "That dude has way too much ego" they're basically saying "That dude is leaning on some logical construct to give himself confidence, because he's a wounded little boy who lacks self esteem."
In other words, a guy with "too much ego" is coming from a place of weakness, not strength.
It's not a bad thing to have ego -- guys who transcend all ego are often weirdos who live cross-legged in caves.
It's also great to go after the things you want, because it improves YOUR OWN QUALITY OF LIFE (ie: I choose to live in Hawaii, not a fat house in LA, because I love Hawaii -- if I wanted to impress my friends I'd move back to LA).
However, if anything, ego should be layered ON TOP of self-esteem -- not a SUBSTITUTE for self esteem.
If somebody pulls the rug out from under you, ideally it shouldn't affect you emotionally because you have a foundation of self-esteem in place.
Now as for "being sucessful with women".........
Say you approach a girl, you must KNOW that "The self is coming through"
That means that you know that things like:
-Outlook (ie: Jeffy has a funny worldview, so his slight ironic demeanor shows this)
........are always coming through to the girl, even if you just say "hi" and have a casual conversation.
Later, as the conversation progresses, things like:
-That you have your own tastes and values
-That you have your own identity and purpose
-That you have personal boundaries
.......will also start to come through.
This knowledge that "THE SELF IS ALWAYS COMING THROUGH" is the most INTENSE realization you will ever have.
Once you realize it, you realize you can approach with ANYTHING, and say ANYTHING, and the girls will dig it because THE SELF IS COMING THROUGH.
Think of it like "psychic powers" (even though they don't really exist) -- whether you've got a mansion or a yatch or a twelve inch battle axe.... or intelligence or street smarts or a worldly perspective --> the specifics are totally subjective and irrelevant.
If you have REAL SELF ESTEEM and you know that THE SELF IS ALWAYS COMING THROUGH, the girls KNOW that you're the shit the second you open your mouth (or at least, when they "process" it, which may take a few sentences).
The day that this epiphany "clicks" in your head YOUR LIFE WILL CHANGE.
If you walk up to a girl and you don't get a lot of attention right away, just like the driver of a high performance race car -- a driver who KNOWS the calibre of car he's driving won't be afraid when he hits a scary curve because he knows the car will hold out (that the self will show through within a few more sentences); whereas a guy who doesn't know what kind of car he's driving will freak out and try to OVERCOMPENSATE.
Guy who knows what car he's driving = tapping into self esteem
Guy who doesn't know what car he's driving and feels like he needs more "logical justification" to believe in it = tapping into ego
EGO = any time a girl doesn't react exactly as you were expecting you get those needy hungry eyes and start pushing for a reaction (girls feel this and blow you off), or worse you just bail out YOURSELF to avoid any "contradictory evidence" that you're anything other than the "pimp" you believe yourself to be.
SELF ESTEEM = you're totally at ease with ANY sort of reaction, and once the girl feels that unreactive masculine polarity coming from you she opens up --> hence "knowing that in a few more sentences the SELF will surely start to come through."
The core of what's going through your mind must be:
-"I have SELF ESTEEM and I'm not even thinking about any rational reason for it -- I'm BORN with this cause it's the fuckin SOUL MOJO F-IN' SUPER POWERS -- and this is GOD'S WILL"
-"I know that the SELF is always coming through and the girls know exactly who I am the second they listen to me talk"
-"I know what I have to say is valuable because it's coming from ME, and I know what I have to say is interesting because it's an EXPRESSION of my personal tastes and people are curious about that" -- just like a hot girl talking, and how whatever she says is interesting because it comes from HER
-"I don't take ownership of their bad reactions -- I've spent enough time taking failure as feedback and improving myself that if they react bad it's probably THEIR issue not mine"
By installing these beliefs you stand head and shoulders above every other guy who can't "be himself" around girls -- because ego is ultimately a sign of UNHEALED WOUNDS whereas real self esteem is a sign of true VITALITY.....
Back when you were a kid you HAD self esteem (you were born with it) but it was wounded through adolescence and couldn't provide that FUEL for your confidence anymore.
So to find fuel you created an EGO (sought out rational reasons for why you should feel confident) to carry the weight...
But at this point, you're NOT THAT GUY ANYMORE and you're SO EVOLVED (as Jay-Z would say) that *everything* about you (whether your physical body or self esteem) is stronger and not so easily wounded.
You can "re-remember" that old self esteem you used to trust as a child, and like a "big happy baby" you approach girls and all people with full expectation of a friendly response.
This all sounds funny, but it's absolutely true.
It's called "coming into your own."
As for that feeling you get on an "on" night, or as we call it "being in state"…
When you go out, use “game” to get girls giggling and giving you attention, and find yourself going into state, this is your ego in a FEEDING FRENZY.
Your ego is saying “Mmmmmmm… This is soooooo good. Keep it coming.”
This is the equivalent to putting your hands on two electrical sockets and just letting the current BLAST through you.
That’s why going out and being “in state” is so addictive and so yummmm.
However, confidence has to come from SOMEWHERE…
And the kind of high you get from tapping into EGO is like a DIRTY and ERRATIC high.
It’s a high where you’re totally in state, but even as you do another approach in the back of your mind you might say to yourself “Maybe I shouldn’t do this one because I might fall back out of state…”
Tapping into SELF ESTEEM based confidence you get a more stable high -- a CLEAN and SILKY high.
You can feel that you’re in state, but it’s so much cleaner and there isn’t the slightest concern that that you might fall out of it.
It’s impossible to fall out of it – you’ve TAPPED INTO something that’s inside of you and you’ve hit the “sweet spot.”
That’s the "new" RSD and what this “game” is really all about.