Make Love not Porn

[Mark]

Since there's been a lot of talk of porn around here. Found this little video interesting.

[video=youtube_share;FV8n_E_6Tpc]http://youtu.be/FV8n_E_6Tpc[/video]

[Alvar]

Too shy to link to her website? http://makelovenotporn.com/

She is online right now replying to comments on youtube...
Any of you guys in your 20s fancies a milf/gilf?

[Brian]

Ok, if a MILF like Kate Beckinsale were to say, yes, more love making and less hardcore porn, i'm ALL FOR IT. But common, that woman is like a female version of hugh hefner saying sex is good. I have about as much interest in her talk as most female about hefner's talk.

[Mark]

So you're basically saying that because she's old and ugly, she must be wrong.

Sophisticated opinion.

[Brian]

I didnt say she's wrong, but rather at her age, she really should focus and make her life about something else other than sex. Hell, even for me at the age of 30, the way i pursue sex this much is already abnormal enough as it is. There's just something very creepy about a 60 year old woman talking about the greatness of sex and banging really young dudes. If she take care of herself and been practicing yoga for the past 20 years...it might be somewhat reasonable.

Bottom line is, you have to look at the demographic of your students. The majority(prob 99 percent) are men from 18-35. These guys dont really want to see 60 years old woman lol.

[Momento]

She's not getting laid enough...

[stan the man]

that is pretty interesting mark. And brian, this video had quite the opposite effect on me. Its refreshing to hear a woman be this open about sex and porn. I wish all girls, regardless of their age, could be open enough with themselves to be able to talk about this if they wanted to. It would make my life a hell of a lot easier.

[Brian]

stan the man Wrote:that is pretty interesting mark. And brian, this video had quite the opposite effect on me. Its refreshing to hear a woman be this open about sex and porn. I wish all girls, regardless of their age, could be open enough with themselves to be able to talk about this if they wanted to. It would make my life a hell of a lot easier.

Go to a local cougar bar and it's not that refreshing anymore. Hell, last week, there's a cougar who's probably around 40ish and she's looking to "leave with the asian persuasion.." ...

[Mark]

Quote:I didnt say she's wrong, but rather at her age, she really should focus and make her life about something else other than sex.

Because obviously you know about her or her life. Sigh... so judgmental. Ugh.

Anyway, I thought she made a really excellent point. And this is something I noticed for a while in many younger women I've dated. They only know how to have sex at one speed: hard and fast. If you ever try to slow them down and force them to become more sensitive and in touch with their bodies, they get insecure and/or uncomfortable with it. It's something I could work on as well.

[Halo Effect]

After reading the discussion I finally watched the clip. Just about the most obviously true, common sense, practical viewpoint ever. Just because they do X in porn, it doesn't mean it's normal or required in normal sex. But if you do like those things it's okay, too. That is pretty much all she said...

[Leo]

Well, thanks to porn oral sex is normal nowadays. But yeah, current porn in general is way too rough.

Quote:but rather at her age, she really should focus and make her life about something else other than sex. Hell, even for me at the age of 30, the way i pursue sex this much is already abnormal enough as it is. There's just something very creepy about a 60 year old woman talking about the greatness of sex and banging really young dudes.

I am 39 y-o and I think about sex a lot, everybody thinks about sex a lot! People don't talk about it but they do it all the time. Why do you think the porn industry is a billionaire industry? It seems that you are projecting your beliefs here. It seems that for you sex is bad and dirty. I love sex, I like sex, I enjoy sex. There's nothing wrong about it.
My father died when he was 88 y-o and he was mortified because he couldn't have an erection. He wanted to get an implant in his penis to get an erection. My ex-GF used to work in an assisted living facility and she told me how the elderly still had sex at ages around 90 y-o. One old guy hit his head when he was giving oral sex to his GF in bed, he fell off bed and had to wear a helmet afterwards, lol! Sex IS part of life, it doesn't end at certain age. It changes, but it doesn't die.

I'm not saying porn is a good way to learn about sex but who the hell teaches sex? What you learn in school is how your body works from a physiological POV and how to protect yourself from STDs, but NOBODY teaches anything about how to have sex, porn is almost the only way to get some 'knowledge" about sex for a lot of people, especially young people.

[Mark]

Halo Effect Wrote:After reading the discussion I finally watched the clip. Just about the most obviously true, common sense, practical viewpoint ever. Just because they do X in porn, it doesn't mean it's normal or required in normal sex. But if you do like those things it's okay, too. That is pretty much all she said...

Her larger point is that since porn is so easily accessible now and sex education is so poor (in the US at least), that the most recent generation has grown up thinking that what happens in porn is actually what normal sex is.

And no, that's not an obvious conclusion... unless you've fucked a lot of people from multiple generations.

[Halo Effect]

Mark Wrote:Her larger point is that since porn is so easily accessible now and sex education is so poor (in the US at least), that the most recent generation has grown up thinking that what happens in porn is actually what normal sex is.

And no, that's not an obvious conclusion... unless you've fucked a lot of people from multiple generations.

Yeah, the message that you don't have to like what they do in porn is in response to the belief by many that porn IS the norm. Although I think that it must be obvious that porn is not normal sex, but perhaps I've learned this along the way, after reading a fair amount of discussions and books on the subject. I do believe that rough, hard sex is usually better than soft, slow sex, but that's because most of the books I've read on how to be good in bed say this, and all the girls I have sex with confirm it. (And usually the girls watch little or no porn.)

Lack of sex education is definitely a big cause of the messed up attitudes though. I talked with a girl who studies medicin yesterday, and she said that recently the Dutch government decided to cut spending on sex education. Not long after that, there was a measurable increase in teenage pregnancies and STD's.

[Mark]

I believe it. About 10 years ago, the right-wingers in the US cut a lot of sex education and made it illegal to make condoms available in schools. They also enforced teaching abstinence and waiting until you're married. Predictably teen pregnancy rose.

[slowhands]

Mark Wrote:Her larger point is that since porn is so easily accessible now and sex education is so poor (in the US at least), that the most recent generation has grown up thinking that what happens in porn is actually what normal sex is.

And no, that's not an obvious conclusion... unless you've fucked a lot of people from multiple generations.

Yes very true, sex ed is a joke. Its all abstinence(spelling?) based which helps no one and does jack shit.

I took a course in sexuality and really opened my eyes.

Another point: porn sex = visual; it is not meant maximize pleasure in anyway...

[Tobias]

slowhands Wrote:. Another point: porn sex = visual; it is not meant maximize pleasure in anyway...

But your nick-name suggests how to maximize pleasure while watching porn, huh?

[Chaos]

I don't know how it is on the states, but I've had sex with about 15 different women on my life... and basically each one would have sex in a different way...

There were shy girls, direct girls, rough girls... girls that would like it slow, fast, that would come in 5 minutes or wouldn't come at all but with hard clitoris estimulation... Everyone of them was different and some fucks were better than others but I didn't get a clear pattern "nowadays young people fuck this way"... I would say that doesn't take a lot of influence on porn, per se, but on sex experience and life experience... In fact, mostly the girls I've date would be in the middle range, not too rough, not too soft. Definitevely not a porn movie in the vast majority of the cases.

[FirstAidKit]

I've not got speakers and can't watch the video - but weighing in from a female perspective...

There's always been quite a lot of pressure to be 'good in bed'. And even when you're still learning about your own body and what you like, you have this idea of what 'good in bed' looks like and I've sometimes tried to emulate that, without paying enough attention to what I want and need out of that sexual experience. I do actually like hard and fast sex a lot of the time but it took me quite a while to really be able to feel secure enough to really slow it down and draw it out.

[Mark]

FirstAidKit Wrote:I've not got speakers and can't watch the video - but weighing in from a female perspective...

There's always been quite a lot of pressure to be 'good in bed'. And even when you're still learning about your own body and what you like, you have this idea of what 'good in bed' looks like and I've sometimes tried to emulate that, without paying enough attention to what I want and need out of that sexual experience. I do actually like hard and fast sex a lot of the time but it took me quite a while to really be able to feel secure enough to really slow it down and draw it out.

This is true, and I think women suffer from these expectations as much, if not more than men do. I can't tell you how many girls I've been with who have tried to explain to me, or even apologize to me, about their lack of sexual ability, when in fact, they had been great in bed. I've also come across quite a few girls who were into the whole "fuck my brains out" thing, but the second you try to get slow and intimate they get really uncomfortable and don't know what to do with themselves. Sexual technique and crazy positions are nice. But at the end of the day it really comes down to how much you two like each other and how comfortable you feel around each other.