So how non-judgemental can you get with slutty behaviors?

[Brian]

For me personally, you are as non judgemental as the level of sexual experience you have and even then, it has it's limit.

On one hand, a guy who's a virgin and date a girl who have 5 sexual partners and immediately thinks she's a slut, so yes, he can and should learn to be more non judgemental. But here is i'm going to list types of behavior and you guys let me know your limits.

Girls who have:

1. 0: virgin
2. Have been with about a dozen men in her life.
3. Have been with 30+ men in her life.
4. Have been with over 100 men in her life.
5. Been with 100 men including doing fucking men in the bathroom, giving blow jobs for favors from other men.
6. Been in a gangbang with other men, basically 5-10 men fucking them at the same time.
7. Have been with over 500 men by the age of 21. I have seen an article a while back of a chubby chick from british on how she fucked 500 men by the time she's 21.
8. Fucked men for money multiple times in the past and have been with hundreds of men.

Which of the level above are you going to put up with a girl and date her for long term relationship and more than just "one night stand"? For me, the max is level 3. Anything above, especially 5 and above is just too much. In the perfect world, there's a girl who fucked 100 guys, but when she's ready for a relationship, she will not cheat on you. In the real world, almost every girl who fits the description of been with over 100 guys all cheat on their bf. Face it, society look down on women who fucked over a 100 guys big time, so when a girl is capable of doing it, chances are, she will have extremely low self esteem. The lower your self esteem, the less likely you will have the integrity not to cheat. I dont think any of us, except for johnny soporno enjoy dating girl(in a serious relationship) who goes out and fuck other men.

thoughts?

[Mark]

Yeah, when it comes to sex or a casual relationship, I'm 100% non-judgmental about sexual stuff. I've hung out and talked to prostitutes at length about their lives and banged my fair share of strippers. As long as she's disease-free, I really don't care what her history is.

But yeah, when it comes to a long-term relationship, I don't think I could go past level 3. Not because there's anything inherently wrong with banging more than 100 guys, but I don't know, she'd need to have a damn good reason. I'm coming up on 100 sexual partners very soon, and I know the amount of partying and sexual pursuit it takes to rack up those kinds of a numbers... I also know the types of emotional dysfunction that inspires that kind of behavior. So yeah, I'll say level 3, with a caveat that I could do levels 4 or 5 if she had a really plausible and honest explanation for her behavior (i.e., she was a porn actress for a couple years or something).

Kind of touched on this with my "Would you date a porn star?" article last year.

[Brian]

Mark Wrote:Yeah, when it comes to sex or a casual relationship, I'm 100% non-judgmental about sexual stuff. I've hung out and talked to prostitutes at length about their lives and banged my fair share of strippers. As long as she's disease-free, I really don't care what her history is.

But yeah, when it comes to a long-term relationship, I don't think I could go past level 3. Not because there's anything inherently wrong with banging more than 100 guys, but I don't know, she'd need to have a damn good reason. I'm coming up on 100 sexual partners very soon, and I know the amount of partying and sexual pursuit it takes to rack up those kinds of a numbers... I also know the types of emotional dysfunction that inspires that kind of behavior. So yeah, I'll say level 3, with a caveat that I could do levels 4 or 5 if she had a really plausible and honest explanation for her behavior (i.e., she was a porn actress for a couple years or something).

Kind of touched on this with my "Would you date a porn star?" article last year.

Lol, ok, so i got your limit.

Level 6 would be imagine your future wife was in a 10 men gangbang with semen sizzle from her vargina. You literally have to be a professional male pornstar to get to that level of non-judgemental(oh btw, i've met a male pornstar with over 700 professional lays and hundreds of outside of professional lays. Yes, his boss paid for him to have sex, but the affect it has on his psychology is the same anyway, thus he can be that emotionally nonjudgemental). For a normal guy like me, i can literally bullshit myself to myself so much.

More thoughts from other people as well.

[FuckMeImFamous]

Number 3 would be the maximum for me, not because I think there is something wrong the latter ones or it would disgust me (ok, maybe a little bit), but rather because of the personality behind it. The sluttier a girl is, the more likely she's some emotional wreck and also has financial, family and just general issues.

[Alvar]

How long did it take you to get with this scale, Brian?

I'd say 3, there's to large a gap there to n.4.

[Zelazny]

It's not even a numbers game. I'd comfortably put the dividing line after point 3, somewhere. But as stated by Mark : There are reasons why someone has a number of sexual partners. It tells something about their lifechoices and possibly about them being a healthy partner. But if there is a plausible reason for them, or if these demons are truly buried and in the past.. I could try to see if I trust it, because it isn't so much about the revulsion of knowing about her sex partners (The most important part there is that I'm the only one right now) but about my fear that I cannot trust her to be faithful.

[Halo Effect]

I am also non-judgmental about the behavior in itself, but if a woman has had sex with many dozens or even hundreds of men there is almost certainly some kind of emotional issue at play. Which I try to avoid in relationships.

Btw, I think nr. 6 doesnt belong on the list. If she has a fantasy of being banged by 5 men and she makes it happen, good for her. If she does it every week, that's a different story.

[Brian]

Halo Effect Wrote:I am also non-judgmental about the behavior in itself, but if a woman has had sex with many dozens or even hundreds of men there is almost certainly some kind of emotional issue at play. Which I try to avoid in relationships.

Btw, I think nr. 6 doesnt belong on the list. If she has a fantasy of being banged by 5 men and she makes it happen, good for her. If she does it every week, that's a different story.

So basically, if your future wife got a history of being banged and creampie by 10 dudes and her pussy jizzle out of the juices, it would make absolutely ZERO emotional affect in your decision to marry to her?

Good job man, you're officially less judgemental than me. I find that pretty gross actually, and this is a feeling coming from a deep emotional feedback. No amount of logic going to change this lol.

[CharlesB]

The good thing is that you don't always have to know,and many times you will never know.
Maybe the quiet good girl,you are in a long term relationship,and she is so faithful have done more "dirty" things that you
could ever imagine in her past.
Nice, quiet and faithful girls>>usually low self esteem>>usually more easily to be manipulated into doing things by somebody.

[crazyhorse]

CharlesB Wrote:The good thing is that you don't always have to know,and many times you will never know.
Maybe the quiet good girl,you are in a long term relationship,and she is so faithful have done more "dirty" things that you
could ever imagine in her past.
Nice, quiet and faithful girls>>usually low self esteem>>usually more easily to be manipulated into doing things by somebody.

I've also heared of some women who fake being nice and hide their lay counts in order to force commitment upon men. Can you imagine being in that kind of situation? So you basically signed your wedding contract and all of a sudden "honny I've had sex with 40 guys, do you still love me?":p. Seriously... I actually I just wouldn't want to be in a situation where her lay account gets to close or is higher then mine. I think this will be true for the majority of men.

It sort of amazes me that most guys are willing to tolerate a girl with 30+ lays. That's a lot. For me it would be 1&2.

Her lay account wouldn't matter when it came to just sex, but to actuallly commit to a girl with so many lays? I'm out! Good Luck Halo!

lol@ Brian's metaphor.

[SeXyBaCk]

For me.. I think I could comfortably tolerate a figure that doesn't exceed my personal number of sexual partners by more than 2 fold.... when in a relationship. 30 would already be pushing it for my taste, depends on the age of the woman. I guess 30 lays is okay by late 30s, but 30 partners feels like quit e a lot when the woman is in her early 20s. I've not dated anyone who has had more than 20 sexual partners, at least they gave figures lower than that. How many people you sleep with is ultimately connected to your lifestlye. I've always been attracted to educated and attractive women and those usually have been too busy or too picky to rack up too many lays. The two kind of rule each other out.

If you're just hooking up with someone does it really matter how many people they've slept with? I wouldn't be asking them in that case, nor asking myself the moral question at that moment in time.

I'm willing to wager the 'pain-threshhold' for most guys is inbetween 15-25 sexual partners for a woman. I'm not sure one meets the criteria of being judgemental if one rules onself out from having sex with a woman who is living above the threshhold. If I dated someone who i suspected has had their fair share of partners I'd be careful not to ask the question. I really wouldn't want to know at the end of the day. I might as also request an HIV test before foregoing safer sex. Maybe that makes me judgemental, I don't really care. Rather just be safe.

[Mark]

My last girlfriend was very sexual and a hardcore party girl and had already been with 10-15 guys by the time she dated me. That didn't really bother me. But after we broke up, she went on a tear and banged another 10-15 in a span of a few months. Won't lie, that kind of turned me off.

...which is ridiculous because I did the exact same thing, we broke up and I went on a tear of like 20 girls in 6 months. So who am I to talk. Just goes to show that no matter how non-judgmental some of us are, the gender roles are really embedded within us.

[crazyhorse]

Mark Wrote:My last girlfriend was very sexual and a hardcore party girl and had already been with 10-15 guys by the time she dated me. That didn't really bother me. But after we broke up, she went on a tear and banged another 10-15 in a span of a few months. Won't lie, that kind of turned me off.

...which is ridiculous because I did the exact same thing, we broke up and I went on a tear of like 20 girls in 6 months. So who am I to talk. Just goes to show that no matter how non-judgmental some of us are, the gender roles are really embedded within us.

just look at how easy it is for women to get laid. her one month=10-15 guys, probably more if she wanted to. you 6 months=20 girls haha

Isn't a women's sexual value mostly determined by the quality of the men who are willing to commit to her? I mean face it, getting sex for a girl is ridiculously easy. You can be an ugly or chubby girls but she'll definetly find a guy who's willing to have sex with here. But a lot of these men probably arn't going to be very interested in commiting to her.

[Mark]

10-15 in a FEW months.

Interestingly, according to her (we're very good friends now), about half of those guys she banged tried to start relationships with her. It was one of those things, she tried to get me to commit forever before I did, and then we break up and she just wants to have a bunch of one night stands, and these guys kept calling her trying to take her to dinner.

[Brian]

After I read an article about a fat chick banged over 500 dudes by the time she's 21, I'm perfectly comfortable with my double standard. The thing is, certain things exist for a reason. A lot of my natural friends who are supremely good with women, they have double standard if the girl wanted a relationship. This exist for a reason and within reason, it's a high value characteristic. When something isnt broken, dont fix it imo.

[dr. love]

I think there's a reason men have double standards. I remember when I was 15, it was normal for a guy my age to want to fuck a lot of women. These guys were from all kinds of backgrounds, good homes, broken homes whatever. But the 15-year-old girls I knew who had lots of one night stands had all absent or alcoholic fathers. So if a girl has had lots of sex partners, I think it's a pretty good indicator she has some issues in her life and I believe most of our mothers would also tell us to stay away from those girls. Of course many women start having one night stands only after they were married and divorced or something like that, but I think when it comes to young women, the number of sexual partners has a significant correlation with a certain family background.

[SeXyBaCk]

Dr. Love, I think what you mention applies to behaviour in teenagers. I think it's widely accepted that very promiscious teeangers often have a history of sexual or emotional abuse. However, past a certain age it's just a question of lifestyle for me, or lifephase. I don't see any difference between men and women either. If I was a woman I don't see why a higher number of sexual partners should be tolerable. We all have a number beyond which we feel it's trashy and eventually disgusting. That number is made from our beliefs, religion, upbringing and the likes. I'm actually gonna poll some females friends on this. I wouldn't be surprised if women actually felt a lower number would be more suitable for them.

10-15 in a few months is what I'd classify as sleeping around. And right after your relationship? No wonder you were turn off by that.

As with all uncomfortable moral questions I'm an advocate of the tried and tested "don't ask - don't tell."

[crazyhorse]

god I hope Paul doesn't read this thread haha