The No-More-Porn Thread - Printable Version
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RE: The No-More-Porn Thread - EddieMorra01 - 04-21-2012 02:36 AM
Hey guys this is my first time posting on the forum. I haven't read through all 21 pages of posts, but I've read enough to understand others experiences and felt it was time I joined in and started sharing mine as well. I've read Models and the whole idea of a no PMO diet really resonated with me. It made all the more sense since I reviewed the material on the yourbrainonporn.com site.
I'm currently 36 years old and I can remember a time before internet porn and I realize exactly how much it's effected me. I think it's become a coping mechanism for me with life stresses and certainly has cut my motivation with personal interests and real life women. I've installed the K9 web protect porn blocker (www1.k9webprotection.com) on my desktop machine. I've left my phone unblocked because I'm not keen on using a limited web browser on my iPhone, and I would will like to exercise so degree of personal will power. I quit smoking cold turkey going on 6 years ago now after smoking for about 13 years, yet I can see how breaking an addiction like this can be more challenging because your sex drive is evolutionarily wired into us where as the need nicotine is not.
I'm experiencing a lot of difficulty focusing so far as I go through withdrawal symptoms. I realize it's all part of the process though it doesn't always make it easier. At the moment I'm between jobs and the elevated stress of my unemployment situation triggers my self soothing with porn, so I find this the best test scenario for my reboot and hopefully the additional positive benefits that others have spoken of like a clearer mind, more focus and energy, and better rest. My personal best for laying off porn (no pun intended) is about 2 - 2.5 weeks with masturbation being about the same.
I've fasted from food and water for 12 to 14 hours a day for 30 consecutive days though I've never made it that long with porn or masturbation. I guess that speaks to how strong the male sex drive is. In my case it overrides the basic needs for food and water. I'm hoping to change that with the support from the guys on the forum. 60 days no PMO!!! That's the goal. I will consider today day one even though it's been 2 or 3 days since I've been off all porn and masturbation. I figured 420 would be a memorable start date.
Sorry for the excessively long post, but I just wanted to get everything up as I start to make chronicling my experience that much more complete.
RE: The No-More-Porn Thread - Nick - 04-21-2012 09:48 PM
This is day 6 for me. So far this week, I've had a crap load of energy. Most of the time I'm on an "up" but I have a few "down" moments as well, and I've done much more cleaning than I usually do. I have been more motivated when it comes to doing constructive things as well. I feel like I'm heading into another self-improvement cycle and this time I am better prepared to do things right. The next few months are going to be crucial, not just for PMO but for the general direction of my life. Now is the time to get my shit together, and quitting porn and masturbating is only going to help.
RE: The No-More-Porn Thread - Nick - 04-26-2012 10:01 AM
This thread isn't as active as it used to be so I'll probably be double and triple posting some times. Anyway, I just had my first masturbation nightmare and I feel like sharing
I dreamt that I was at a stripclub with a pool and I was getting a blowie. It felt good and all that. Then I dreamt that I woke up and realised it was all a dream but I was so horny that I couldn't stop myself from masturbating. I had a horrible ominous feeling and finally, I really did wake up to find myself humping my bed.
It is funny now but at the time, it was horrible.
edit: Also, day 11
RE: The No-More-Porn Thread - Zelazny - 04-26-2012 10:39 AM
Day 7. Strangely enough, I've been dreaming of kissing, holding or approaching women physically a lot lately.
RE: The No-More-Porn Thread - Alvar - 04-26-2012 11:15 AM
(04-20-2012 02:41 PM)t_bone Wrote: BTW: I don´t know if this was posted before, but if not, it´s worth looking at it for motivation purposes:
Yay PostMasculine forum at 13:20!
RE: The No-More-Porn Thread - Nick - 04-26-2012 12:30 PM
I am currently reading "The Power of Habit" as recommended in a thread on this forum. If you read the book, it talks about keystone habits. These are habits that you start that cause you to pick up many other habits without even trying. F.e. quitting masturbating has cause me to start the habit of cleaning when I am restless. I've been cleaning daily since I've started the NoFap challenge, and I've been cleaning without having to exert huge amounts of willpower to do it. My place used to be such a mess (not entirely my fault), and now I have cleaned the place 90% from top to bottom. I plan on cleaning daily for the remainder of the challenge, and definitely long after that. I am also exercising daily and I am trying to throw studying for/working on my own business daily into the mix but it hasn't stuck yet. So all in all, by taking up one positive habit (resisting the urge to masturbate), I have picked up many positive habits.
RE: The No-More-Porn Thread - Majik - 04-26-2012 03:56 PM
I would just like to say that you are all doing an amazing job, keep going!
This is the first forum of this type I have ever joined. I have realised that I have had a problem for a while now, but somehow a part of my brain manages to persuade me that I am normal and there is nothing wrong with what I am doing. Unfortunately I am sure that porn has had a huge detrimental effect on my life, and I really hope that this is the first stage in rebuilding.
I did read another similar forum a few months ago, and managed to give up for 2 weeks (which I was quite impressed with at the time! Bit tragic), but this form seems much more 'normal' with 'normal' blokes (the other one was a bit spiritual/almost relgious). I stumbled across this one a few days ago, at a time when I was trying to distract myself, and found it very inspiring, so I have now decided to join and share my battle amongst like minded individuals.
I am now on day 7! Finding it really difficult. I think it was day 3 when I first read this forum. I read quite a few pages, but not all I am afraid. Are there people that managed to go the distance? Without a relapse?
This is probably the worst time for me. I am currently between jobs, with a month or more to kill. Lots of free time, so trying to distract myself from falling back into old habits! It seems like I am concentrating all my efforts and will power towards NOT doing something at the moment. I hope that turns around towards being more productive soon.
Withdrawal symtoms. I have had a couple of very vivid dreams about looking at porn, which has been mentioned before. Very bizarre. The first was the night of day 3. I remember being really annoyed with myself in the dream because I had automatically started looking at porn without realising I was doing it, then realised I was. THEN I realised it was just a dream. Phew! Then the next time was after day 6, which really felt like it was real. It was not until after I woke up in the morning that I realised it was a dream. Again I was relieved.
I was not sure I had felt any positive effects yet, but I think I may have. In general I am feeling really quiet happy at the moment. For no real reason. Life just seems good
I am such a visual person that on the one hand I am sad that I won't get to see all those 'stunning' girls again, but I am convinced now that this is the only way to rebuild my life. Saying goodbye to porn forever!
RE: The No-More-Porn Thread - crazyhorse - 04-26-2012 04:23 PM
I really can't believe that i've left this thread alone for so long
time to awnser some questions
I would definetly recommend you to find a "normal" forum. Meaning, a forum that contains guys who realized that porn had a negative impact on them, but who don't critique it from a religious or feminist perspective.
1) This website should be really helpfull to you: http://www.yourbrainonporn.com (YBOP)
2) This is another porn addiction forum:
There's also redit/nofap as well, but you'll have to google this one a bit, since I don't know the exact spelling.
haha, I remember my first two weeks. I was amazed! In the beginning, giving it up for a day already was a challenge. You'll find that it will become easier over time though. There are also many tools that you can use. A porn blocker is very common one, you can then always give a password to a trusted friend. Just make sure that you can't remember it .
May I ask whether you were a heavy user? You shouldn't feel bad about awnsering this question, since most of us (myself included), had no idea that this could have potential consequences on their behavior. When I read YBOP, I was literally shocked. It was as if I was reading about myself on an internet page. The withdrawal period was also very nasty for me. Including insomnia, anxiety... not fun!
If you want I can always give you advice, but you'll have to give me more information about your situation.
I'm now going for a month without PMO (porn, masturbation, orgasm). I think this will be the last kick in the but that I'll need.
In the beginning you'll be fighting against urges to masturbate or fighting against finding ways to get around k9. At least this is what I experienced. But after a while you'll definetly get stronger.
Sex dreams are very normal, although today I was really amazed by my dream. But I'll keep that one to myself, haha
your post wasn't that long at all . You know, I'm experiencing a lot of positives as well. For some it's really life changing. This is a very good example:
I can't tell you what you'll experience, since it depends a lot on your usage. But most men definetly report positive experiences.
that's actually very normal to experience in the beginning. But after a while you'll get the hang of it .
What amazes me now is that if I get a glimpse of something that looks like a porn cue, it's like I get injected with some kind of drug. The rush that I get from it, is very strong. It's a really weird experience.
that should do it
RE: The No-More-Porn Thread - Majik - 04-26-2012 04:47 PM
(04-26-2012 04:23 PM)crazyhorse Wrote: @Majik
Haha, I meant that THIS was the 'normal' forum, and I am happy I found it
Yes, had a look at that yourbarinonporn one before. Had some really good accounts and stories. Also watched the 'lectures' on youtube a while back trying to distract myself.
I was a very heavy user. Really bad. A few times I have wondered if it was possible to brainwash myself! I think maybe I suceeded!
I also have a very strong visual memory, so ridding my system of all of this could take a while!
(04-18-2012 11:34 PM)somedude Wrote: [quote='Mark' pid='3697' dateline='1322527251']
Wow, the story from the second link is sickening. I have been a sceptic of this site in the past, but I am now starting to wake up and smell the coffee!
Oh, and thank you very much for the offer of help crazyhorse. ALL help is really appreciated
RE: The No-More-Porn Thread - mcodicini - 04-27-2012 07:44 AM
first time poster.
I totally agree, porn can ruin your life. And is ruining mine.
I had stopped for a while and now I'm back looking at even more perverse and scary things.
Maybe a reaction to a lack of love. As always. I had many girls this year. And I cared for no one.
Now I'm back alone and slightly less interested in getting in another meaningless sex-relationship.
Back alone means back into porn. It releases tension.
Hard to stop when you feel your brain's been fucked.
I'm trying this with you. Hope I will stick to it. But my will power has gone now. But I'll try.
If I resist this will be my day one.
RE: The No-More-Porn Thread - Drewid - 04-27-2012 08:22 AM
If there's one thing I know how to do it's change. Don't resist your old habit when you can create a new one.
RE: The No-More-Porn Thread - Majik - 04-27-2012 08:50 AM
(04-27-2012 07:44 AM)mcodicini Wrote: Hi,
This definitely sounds familiar and I can identify with what you are saying mcodicini. That is the downward spiral you can get yourself trapped in as a result of using porn. Be stong and we can do this together. It may result in you building a meaningful relationship that isn't reliant on sex. It will be worth it in the end!
I mentioned before about withdrawal symptoms, and thought it was just the dreams, but I may have more. I have seen people mention on here about becoming ill, but not necessarily relating it. For the last few days I have had a stinking cold. Really runny nose mostly. I put this down to a change in environment and one of those things, but now I am wondering if it is related.
Also I have had a slightly funny tummy (for want of a better way of describing it!), which I also put down to something else, but now think it is because of this. I had this once before after moving away from a girl I really liked. My mate described it as the 'love s****s!'. I now almost certain that this is being caused by porn withdrawal, and the associated stress and anxieties. Crazy.
p.s. Day 8! Keep having visual flashes and thoughts in my head. Trying to block them out, but it is like blocking out a pink elephant when somebody tells you not to think about one. Anybody got any tips?
RE: The No-More-Porn Thread - SeXyBaCk - 04-27-2012 10:08 AM
Time to give this a try. My porn consumption is pretty low key I'd say, maybe once a week on average 10-20 minutes, but I'm curious about what effects it might have if I cut it out, particularly in regard to energy cause I'm having the whole spring low energy thing atm. My will power is usually wank (no pun intended), so let's see how this goes. Gonna aim for at least end of may.
RE: The No-More-Porn Thread - Nick - 04-27-2012 02:46 PM
@SeXyBaCk: Try going two weeks without masturbating. Quitting masturbating has had a much bigger effect on my energy than porn has. Also, it's only 14 days, it can't hurt to try right?
crazyhorse Wrote:@MoussakamanActually, I have found it to be incredibly easy. I think it has to do with how drastically my environment has changed in the last 12 days. I have had few urges and when I do have them, they are easily put aside. I remember quitting cigarettes when I was 17, it was also really easy for me. 3 days of pain and then I felt like it was out of my system. I still had a lot of urges to smoke, and sometimes I did, but by then, I had developed an aversion to smoking so there was no going back.
Even though I came from a place of masturbating 3-4 times a day since I was 14 (10 years), I think it'll be easier for me than most people in the long run. Hopefully I don't jinx it by underestimating the urges.
edit: My name has changed. I am MoussakaMan from before.
RE: The No-More-Porn Thread - questra - 04-27-2012 03:11 PM
Guys, welcome and good luck for the 60 days
Crazyhorse, welcome back!
I'm on day 32 now off porn. A bit of a caveat though. I wasn't planning on doing the full PMO reboot. Just 60-day plan without porn. One thing I've noticed is the sex drive is high now, but instead of reacting to porn, or pictures of semi naked girls online (which I really don't feel much desire to watch anymore), it's girls in real life who are turning me on. I guess that's a positive effect?
The downside is the past few days since I've been getting turned on more, this has led me to masturbate more. Not to any images of porn/sexy videos though (I've been pretty strict in that). I'll need to control that a bit better. Masturbating a lot less in the past few weeks has given me a lot more energy to do other positive stuff. I'll try to reduce it back to the once a week level for now.
Never ever going back to porn though!
RE: The No-More-Porn Thread - mcodicini - 04-27-2012 03:20 PM
The problem is that porn and masturbation addiction dimished my willpower to zero. Now my habit is to masturbate and watch porn everyday. I really don't know where to find the willpower to not masturbate since the addiction is the primary cause of its nonexistance.
But I'll try. I'll try.
RE: The No-More-Porn Thread - crazyhorse - 04-27-2012 05:41 PM
(04-27-2012 07:44 AM)mcodicini Wrote: Hi,
wow that sucks to hear that! Yeah the negative spiral is a typical addiction phenomenon. For me I had zero libido towards real women, they just didn't turned me on anymore. It also destroyed my ambition, hell a lot.
But you've come to the right place . A porn blocker can definetly help you a lot when it comes to willpower. Particurarily in the early stages, especially when you were a heavy user.
And there's nothing to be ashamed of about that! Very few people realize what porn can do to them.
(04-27-2012 08:50 AM)Majik Wrote:(04-27-2012 07:44 AM)mcodicini Wrote: This definitely sounds familiar and I can identify with what you are saying mcodicini. That is the downward spiral you can get yourself trapped in as a result of using porn. Be stong and we can do this together. It may result in you building a meaningful relationship that isn't reliant on sex. It will be worth it in the end!
I hope it will be easy for you! For me the first weeks are always the most difficult. The cravings were very intense.
Have you noticed a drop in libido after the first week as well? I had this flatline for a while, this is a very common withdrawal symptomp as well.
(04-27-2012 03:11 PM)questra Wrote:
thanks for the warm welcome , this means that my replies in this thread did have effect! Which is great
When it comes to masturbation, find something that works for you. Some guys completely abandon it and only orgasm with girls. Others masturbate once a week or more. Just pay attention that you're not imagining porn scenario's, since this has the same affect.
(04-27-2012 03:20 PM)mcodicini Wrote: The problem is that porn and masturbation addiction dimished my willpower to zero. Now my habit is to masturbate and watch porn everyday. I really don't know where to find the willpower to not masturbate since the addiction is the primary cause of its nonexistance.
Don't ever give up! I really mean that. If you relapse, always try to take something away from it, so that it will be easier to prevent it the next time. Man I've relapsed at moments when I started to feel my libido again and when I felt great again. I've had so many sluggish days due to withdrawal, it's really insane.
right now I feel like I'm going to make one month without PMO. Before my maximum was 21 days and these were sometimes followed by a relapse.
These relapses really make you think how addicted you were. Particurarily when you start noticing those negative effects again. It really makes you think, wow what have I been doing with my body.
good luck to all of you!
If you want a forum that is more specific for people dealing with porn addiction, you can always visit http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com
sexyback and Majick, you can find your comments in the white box of my post under your nickname.
I'm not really good with this multi quote thing.
RE: The No-More-Porn Thread - Majik - 04-28-2012 10:57 AM
(04-27-2012 05:41 PM)crazyhorse Wrote: A good way to deal with porn visuals, is to pick up meditation. I don't think I've ever had one since I tried meditating. I must say that I do it a lot, so you must put in the effort!
thanks for the reply
I have read several times how meditiation can help with lots of things, and been meaning to give it a try. Do you have any good tips or a good site you could point me towards to help me get started?
Day 9, and I feel like crap! Proper flu like symptoms. Head and gut feel worse than yesterday, but runny nose is starting to ease up a little. Just bunged up now
Does the want or flash of images go away or start to wane at least?! Because I am not sure I could live the rest of my life like this.
One of the things that is currently keeping me in check is how crap I feel and the knowledge that even if I did crack right now it wouldn't make me feel instantly better. I am not going to have gone through this for no reason, so I am not going to crack and then have felt like this for nothing!
Maybe 'cold turkey' was not the way to go! Oh well, too late now. Anybody tried just weening themselves off everything gradually? Does that even work?!
(04-27-2012 03:11 PM)questra Wrote: I'm on day 32 now off porn.
Oh, and questra, 32 days! Well done!!
Hope I have the strength to last that long
RE: The No-More-Porn Thread - crazyhorse - 04-28-2012 11:34 AM
yeah withdrawal just sucks. All you can do is sail through it . It probably amazed you how strong these effects were . I was in the exact same situation as you. What got me through it was "if these effects are so bad, then the benefits must be greater when I've beaten this addiction".
Meditation is basically really easy. Sit in a lotus position (or chair), stare at a wall and try to keep yourself focused on the wall. If thoughts pop up redirect your attention to the wall. After a while it will become easier and easier to ignore these thoughts. If my explanation wasn't clear, perhaps read a book about it or an internet article. I encountered meditation through "the power of concentration" by Theron Q. Dumont.
Porn visuals deminished greatly when I picked up meditation. Do you have a porn blocker, that might work as well? Check the second post in this thread, it usually contains a lot of information about this stuff. You can also visit yourbrainonporn or yourbrainrebalanced. The last one is a website where people journal about cutting pornography out of their life.
RE: The No-More-Porn Thread - Majik - 04-28-2012 11:56 AM
Thanks for the tips on meditiation, crazyhorse. Will give it a try at some point.
I am trying not to use a porn blocker. I will only find a way around it anyway No, it is strange, I have always seen myself as mentally strong in the past, but now I realise that may have been a bit false. Still, I really feel that I need to use and strengthen my willpower for this one. I see that as a way of rebuilding my mental strength. I am waivering a little, but I can do this!
RE: The No-More-Porn Thread - crazyhorse - 04-28-2012 01:28 PM
Choose whathever you want, but I still use my porn blocker today.
Just keep in mind that porn is very stimulating and very rewarding to our brain. Your brain literally thinks that you're having a harem full of women . So it can be very difficult to break it.
but keep us updated!
RE: The No-More-Porn Thread - Halo Effect - 04-28-2012 05:21 PM
Responding to your request to describe my experiences before and after a period of porn use.
I started watching porn at a very young age, like 12-13. My first relationship with regular sex was at age 22, so I don't have experiences with sex before porn, really. I was watching nasty hardcore porn by 14-15.
Porn and sexuality was a source of shame for me since the beginning. I always felt guilty after orgasm. I've written about this whole process before on this forum, but.. My porn habits grew gradually more extreme. Partially due to desensitization. Partially due to a liking of taboo stuff. Partly because I felt ashamed because of it all and the act of trying to repress it will make it worse in itself.
And I also only get turned on by things that seem realistic to me. If I believe that something can't happen to me, it's harder to get turned on by it for me. You could tell I believed I was unattractive and that I feared I would never get a girlfriend in my life when I listed the types movies that turned me on.. It included stuff like huge sluts who would let anyone have sex with them, drunk girls, sleeping girls, forced sex, and things even more illegal. The pattern is that these were not emotionally healthy women participating in consensual sex, because I just didn't believe that was realistic for me. And of course, watching this stuff made me even more ashamed of myself, which just fucked everything up even more, and a serious focus on self-improvement for years.
Fast forward a few years, and I have a healthy sex life, and I now believe I am attractive and I can now get turned on by the idea of real sex. Yay! Much of the frustration is gone, and has made way for a more natural and healthy sexuality. This has been helped by thinking about it a lot, reading some books, seeing a therapist, as well as a strong focus on self-improvement for years.
But I must say I'm still developing in this area every day. I feel like I've grown compared to a few weeks ago in self-acceptance and sexual confidence.
The first time I did a no-porn challenge was when I had a girlfriend and I had a hard time orgasming. I found out that website that also has the karezza forum, and learned about the potential downsides of watching porn. Quitting porn and masturbation for a few weeks completely solved the issues I was having in bed, and seemed to clear up my acne as well. Since then I've been off and on porn. Longest I've gone without is more than 2 months. I really enjoy the feeling when I haven't done porn or masturbation in a while, but then sometimes I just go back to it. Currently I'm very rarely watching it, and masturbating infrequently (usually to fantasy). I do not consider porn viewing an issue in my life at this moment. I feel little desire for it, because my sex life is awesome and busy.
I feel like this post is all over the place, so if you have any questions, just ask.
RE: The No-More-Porn Thread - crazyhorse - 04-28-2012 05:42 PM
it was a great post!
Within a month I'll post a couple of my own experiences. As with you, I also started at a young age. It's amazing how young guys get sucked into this.
thanks for sharing!
RE: The No-More-Porn Thread - questra - 04-29-2012 03:29 AM
(04-28-2012 10:57 AM)Majik Wrote:(04-27-2012 05:41 PM)crazyhorse Wrote: A good way to deal with porn visuals, is to pick up meditation. I don't think I've ever had one since I tried meditating. I must say that I do it a lot, so you must put in the effort!
Thanks! Just keep at it. Some of the others mention that the key to getting rid of bad habits is to replace them with good habits. Perhaps you could find something positive to put your energies into?
I believe that for porn, the only way is just cold turkey - for the reason that once you watch it it'll only compel you to keep watching more and more. In my experience, the desire for porn images and vids itself goes away eventually, but the sexual drive for real women gets stronger. That's the phase I'm in and trying to work out now.
RE: The No-More-Porn Thread - crazyhorse - 04-29-2012 10:56 AM
Yes. I think quitting cold turkey is the best way to do so. It's a slippery rope if you were addicted to it. Do former smokers still smoke? Do former alcoholics still drink? Addicts in general? No, they usually stop using whathever substance they were addicted to.
If you want to find an easier way to succeed at this, then try to pick up replacement activities. Go excercising when you feel like masturbating or go out with friends. Trust me, time flies when you go out with friends.
good luck with it guys!