Amoging: Actual situation+your comments - Printable Version
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Amoging: Actual situation+your comments - Jean DeCuir - 02-04-2012 12:40 PM
Yesterday was an hell of a day.
Got invited to a girls house. We both knew what was going on. So i went there and in less then 5 minutes we were making out. The first akward situtation was when she got up and took a picture of me without shirt... i tought i was being pranked. Even tho we restarted making out to the point we were both in tarzan mode (boxers only) at the end of 45 minutes of making out she wouldnt let me take off her panties. few minutes later she said she didn't want to fuck me because i was skinny and she doesn't fucks guys like me and also because i'm sexually inexperienced for my age (i told her that). So i just layed there waiting for fucking Ashton Kutcher to get out of the wardrobe yelling " Punk'd" but he didn't so i just got up, started getting dressed, yelled at her for deleting the pic and then tryed to play it indifferent and leave. LOL
Later that night i managed to meet another girl (i wrote about her here) and her friends. Made her introduce me to her friends ( 2 room mates and a friend of the room mate) and made the group like me, specially the room mate's friend. So i was talking to everybody, giving attention to each one of them and everytime i would give attention to the girl i liked i would ask her for a kiss. At the beggining she was playing kinda cool, saying she would kiss me after the 3rd beer, but i kinda keep pressuring during the night and she started getting mad because i was being needy. I didn't care because i was in a "blow me of blow me off" mood but now i recognize i should have played it easier.
During the night she kept texting and she kinda freaked out when she said to her friend " He doesn't answer his phone!" so i figured out there was another guy she was interested, tho she was interested on me too. It was one of her room mates friends who ended up joining us with another friend. At this moment i was like " what the fuck? this bitch wants us to fight to see who's gonna win her over?"... well, i kinda wanted to go away at this point but since i came so far i decided to give it a try to keep the girl. So those guys show up, i wait 2 minutes then walk to one of them and put my arm on his shoulder ( no dick style, just being friendly) and said i tought i saw him before... used my body language to make him look needy by making him smile while i was not smiling. Worked because then i went asking the girl if she wanted to kiss me again, she said she wanted to kiss me on the cheek ( better behavior then the previous attempts) and i said no. Kept working the whole group, talking to evertbody. The guys were just talking to the room mate, i was talking to everybody. Even put my arm over those 2 guys and said " i like these guys. I don't know you as well as i know ( the guys names) but i like you too" (talking to the guy i didn't speak much with) and he said " i don't think you will get to know me tonight".
Later the guys asks me the amog question:
him: hey, which one of these girls is your girlfriend?
me: What you mean? They are all my girlfriends...
him: No, you can only have one of them.
me: They are all my girlfriends.
him: Aren't you scared that one of these guys here in the club comes and takes your girls?
me: No, it's okay and i trust on you guys to keep the other guys away from my girls too.
him: nah, not me man...
Kept enjoying myself and asking the girl for a kiss. She was acting really annoyed now. I don't care. I felt like it was lost, even tho i could recover it but it would take a lot of work and at this point i prefer my bed than hers. So i just prepered to leave. But first i took the number of the room mates friends and it made the girl i was into really jealous. Anyway i just prepared to leave and the guy were like:
they: hey, man, you're leaving? You're meeting your girlfriend? ( don't understand this girlfriend pressure, probably been reading the lay guide and thinks he's doing it right)
they: Aren't you scared that some guys come steal your girlfriends?
me: I trust you guys to be you guys, you keep the chodes away, and after all you guys are gay, right?
they: (kinda get mad)
me: I man, no stress, i'm gay too, you're not my type tho...
they: Hey come by sometime so i can buy you a drink ( like a 2nd place prize or something)
me: Nah, man... don't try to pick me up
Eventually i kept making some physical contact with them even in the face. I tryed to walk away but they tried to push me back to them or so... i was kinda being a dick now but so were they. I asked them " what? you need a hug?" and i gave him an hug and tryed to walk away, they tryed to push me back again trying to make me see something but i didn't pay attention. Eventually i looked back at them so i could just leave.
When i left the girl i was into tryed to vibe with me, making a joke or so about a tease she did to me but i just reacted the most indifferent way and left. I deserve away better then her.
Anyway, comments? What you guys think of amoging? I have no idea what to do in these situations...
Amoging: Actual situation+your comments - crazyhorse - 02-04-2012 01:37 PM
Dude... Do you suffer from asperger?
haha I quote you "I tried to make the guy look needy by putting my arm around his shoulder", and you even mentioned that you're skinny? Good job!
This was a social circle situation I guess? It's always best to be friendly. Second, women don't really go "wow did you just saw how that guy got amoged". Sure there is a thing called dominance and confidence, but if you're so insecure that you want to show off you're "dominance" the entire time, it's really needy. These guys weren't amogging you, they just didn't want to hit on your "girlfriend" or the girl you BEGGED 5 TIMES TO KISS HER! In fact you were the one who was acting annoying.
How many times do you want to ask a girl for a kiss? I've seen a friend of mine do this as well, it was very obvious that the girl felt pressured.
You've definetly come to the right place. Sorry I might have sounded harsh at you, but you needed to hear this. Read Mark's book and ask the people here for advice and you'll do fine. It's time to start some "pua detox".
Amoging: Actual situation+your comments - Jean DeCuir - 02-04-2012 02:14 PM
@ Crazy horse... okay i explained myself wrong.
I tryed to make him look needy, not by putting my arm on his shoulder, but by making him smile a lot while i was with a more regular face, like if he was trying to vibe with me, trying to impress me. It's really hard to explain, that's why i didn't want to enter in detail explaining that. Anyway it worked to get the girl more into me at the time.
And yes, i was being needy. I didn't have the patient to actually stand there the whole night, chatting with her about random stuff that i don't care and hope to take her home at the end of the night, specially when she is bringing guys to compete with me. The biggest natural i know does the exact same thing. He is the neediest guy ever. You know your grandmother's dog who keeps humping every visitors leg? He's 1000 times worse... and it works.
Right now i am far away for having any kind of trouble with women. I just want a girlfriend to settle for the next 2 months... take a little break... so yeah, there is no time to waste i guess
Amoging: Actual situation+your comments - Peanut - 02-04-2012 02:17 PM
crazyhorse Wrote:Dude... Do you suffer from asperger?
Good spot, lol.
Yeah, I think the guys you were trying to intimidate recognized your words were hollow and they put you in your place. To put it in your terms, you tried to amog them and failed.
Edit: By the way, this passage is just them making fun of you, you understand that right? They didn't think you were doing it right.
"they: hey, man, you're leaving? You're meeting your girlfriend? ( don't understand this girlfriend pressure, probably been reading the lay guide and thinks he's doing it right)
they: Aren't you scared that some guys come steal your girlfriends?"
Amoging: Actual situation+your comments - Mark - 02-04-2012 02:39 PM
If I could flip a switch and remove the concept of AMOG'ing from every guy's brain, I would. Because it just gets you into situations where you make a fool of yourself like this.
Amoging: Actual situation+your comments - Jean DeCuir - 02-04-2012 02:44 PM
Mark Wrote:If I could flip a switch and remove the concept of AMOG'ing from every guy's brain, I would. Because it just gets you into situations where you make a fool of yourself like this.
Then what do you recommend to do in situations like this? What if some guy trys to make you look bad in front of the girl? Just ignore and act like nothing happent? that's something i never really understood...
Amoging: Actual situation+your comments - Chaos - 02-04-2012 03:06 PM
Jean DeCuir Wrote:And yes, i was being needy. I didn't have the patient to actually stand there the whole night, chatting with her about random stuff that i don't care and hope to take her home at the end of the night
Then don't. I had this conversation the other night with a friend. Things just DO NOT work that way. Generally speaking a guy is ready to go as long as the chick is hot, that's it. The girl actually needs emotional attraction and comfort. Is not every case... but basically most women do need that chatting, teasing and flirting. That's not up for discussion, it is just the way it is, you can't fight it. So you can either find some commonality, some topic that you can share and enjoy with the girl, enjoy the flirting in itself, that can be lots of fun, or just leave and find another girl. You can't just expect the chick to kiss you and fuck you just because you want her to.
If girls were that way those pretty lean muscular guys will be pulling out like crazy... and they don't. The ones who do are the ones that have OTHER things going on for them, the ones who don't are all those that believe that just being physically attractive will get them the girl... and that sometimes happens... but just because that specific girl is looking for just that, that specific night.
By the way, if you take the girl point of view it makes complete sense... Why would a hot girl (or even a standard looking girl) bang some guy whose only achievement is being attractive... As long as she has anything else going of for her she surely can aspire to something better... and it says very little of the guy it that's all that he can bring to the table.
Amoging: Actual situation+your comments - Jean DeCuir - 02-04-2012 03:25 PM
@ Peanut... Nah, man. I know what you mean but it was really an attack attempt, turst me. I had to give you more details on the interaction but it would take too much time to explain.
@ Chaos... okay, i do agree with that but you're going to learn that when you have a little story with a girl and she starts to play the wrong way she has 2 options: Blow you or blow you out... because that's what she is: an OPTION.
Amoging: Actual situation+your comments - trader4life - 02-04-2012 03:29 PM
Sounds like waaaaaay too much effort, especially for a girl that is definitely not attracted to you. Even if she was I wouldn't put in 1/10th of that much effort - actual or thought. Basically to me sounds like you are trying too hard to be cool, which is very uncool. Also, don't EVER ASK a girl for a kiss or sex. In my experience it is always perceived as super needy and it sounds like she took it the same.. Just my two cents.
I really don't notice "AMOG'ing" but I'm likely almost twice your age, so that may be why. Our demographics could probaly not be more different either, so take that as you will. Not that we should act like anyone else, but just think about what a cool mother fucker like Clooney would do in a sitch like that (or someone more your generation if you prefer). Would they be all acting like a spaz? Not likely. Granted, these people are actors and we only see them "acting", but even with that, guys that are in control of themselves don't really notice these things when they do happen. More importantly they don't try to do the AMOG'ing because they don't have to. I would focus more on why this is the case instead of chasing some silly girl and how to "act" around some random dudes. In other words, the "why" is more important that the "how". Good luck!
Amoging: Actual situation+your comments - crazyhorse - 02-04-2012 03:33 PM
Jean DeCuir Wrote:@ Crazy horse... okay i explained myself wrong.
haha So Brian leaves and now you enter , I guess we have to maintain our state of equilibrium. Within a few months he'll be starting threads about books that he hasn't read .
Jean I'm just kidding about the asperger thing, but you should really watch out when you take classic PU stuff to far. Keep in mind that a lot of these people are very weird people themselves. Just like that person who gave you that advice to cancel a date 15 minutes before arriving, in order to: build attraction (say what?). If a girl likes you she'll gladlly meet up with you, it's that simple. She also won't bring other men to compete with you.
You said you tried to make him look needy, by making him smile more and you could keep a more regular face. That thinking in itself is so wrong. Is this a social circle situation? How do these people feel about you now? I bet these guys had a lot of fun messing with you that night. You're really not building a good reputation with that kind of behavior.
If you don't like talking to her, then why would you want to make her your girlfriend .
oh and if you're skinny----> bulk up
Amoging: Actual situation+your comments - Jean DeCuir - 02-04-2012 04:05 PM
@trader4life good answer! The only one that actually made me think so far... asking for a kiss from a girl i already kissed before ( i said it in other topic) is okay i think... and one of the biggest naturals i know does that with girls he meets in bars. And well, as for the amogging thing... well, you do have a point. Maybe i should follow it. But let's face it, the guy attacked me first ( the one asking if i had a girlfriend... ) till there i only made the other guy react more to me, wich is not as heavy as the attack the other guy did to me, and how do i react to this? I just cuted his attempt to put me down by saying they are all my girlfriends), so he doesn't have to make me look like a guy who, if i said yes, was trying to cheat on his girlfriend or, if said no, was trying to pick the girls up. And yes, this is away too much effort for a gril who doesn't worth it, i was in love at the first dates, but she doesn't worth it. I wanted to fuck her as soon as possible so i could start pointing her the route thro a relationship but she doesn't worth. Her room mates friend, on the other hand, is away cuter and fun, i shall give her a try.
@crazyhorse look, man, whatever you say... classical PU works for me and in my opinion only people who are not willing to take the effort it requires are those who get out of it... actually, if i had followed classical PU and not pressured her thing would have been away different. Apperaently this is a " natural game" forum and that's okay with me, this forum rocks because of post like " Emtional needs in dating" and "perceptual bias" which helped me a lot since i always been a very naiive kid when it comes to women, but there are some points i don't agree in natural game and that's my perspective. If the guy had a nice time messing with me or not, i don't know, if they did then cool for them, all i know is that they started messing with me, i basically told them they were gay and wanted to eat me and they started trying to fight me or intimidate me physically or whateverm i don't know i didn't pay much attention i just wanted to go to sleep.
Amoging: Actual situation+your comments - Mark - 02-04-2012 04:46 PM
Reading over your original post, you come off as very inauthentic and try-hard (i.e., extremely needy and looking for approval). It appears that the girl never really liked you, and that the guys hanging out with her realized this and therefore tried to get rid of you. Your attempts to "AMOG" them made no difference since she wasn't really into you in the first place.
And that's the thing "AMOG'ing" guys usually just makes you look even worse. It's a lose/lose strategy. If a guy is trying to make you look stupid, and your girl likes you, then he's just going to make himself look stupid in her eyes. It's not like girls sit there and think, "OK, let's watch these two guys fight over me, who can fake confidence better?" They fucking HATE guys fighting over them. It makes everything awkward and makes both guys look like idiots. If a guy was really confident and confident that she liked him, he wouldn't have to say anything.
If I know my girl likes me, then I just let the guy say whatever he wants and hang himself. If I don't react to him then he looks like an tool. If he continues to bother us, then I just grab my girl and go somewhere else. But that's rarely necessary.
Amoging: Actual situation+your comments - Alvar - 02-04-2012 09:31 PM
Jean DeCuir Wrote:@crazyhorse look, man, whatever you say... classical PU works for me and in my opinion only people who are not willing to take the effort it requires are those who get out of it... actually, if i had followed classical PU and not pressured her thing would have been away different. Apperaently this is a " natural game" forum and that's okay with me, this forum rocks because of post like " Emtional needs in dating" and "perceptual bias" which helped me a lot since i always been a very naiive kid when it comes to women, but there are some points i don't agree in natural game and that's my perspective.
So how well has it worked for you? Can you give us some examples?
Seems you're not willing to get Models, like I and others advised. That's ok. But I'll summarise one of the initial chapters for you: "Classic Pu works but is only a short term solution. It will get you girls but not much satisfaction; girls that don't have much going for themselves other than their looks and who are equally emotionally damaged."
It's not like most of us can point you a finger either, we got here because we were tired of being nice guys and overcompensated by becoming fake alphas. If we were told to be authentic, look our fears in the eyes and learn to be ourselves we'd probably react like you.
So if you want to follow PU material and it works for you, you should probably look for a PU board, at least for the more gamey of your questions. Here you'll just get frustrating answers because guys hanging here do not believe that stuff actually works when you are looking up for emotionally healthy chicks. You're a smart kid and will probably earmark this forum and site, so when/if you realise that playing those games is not what you're actually seeking, you'll come back. It is a shame, because in hindsight most of us would rather get on this path straight rather than waist years with PUA, but that is also a conclusion you must reach for yourself. In any case, good luck to you.
Just want to make a correction, and I hope Mark will get me straight if I get it wrong: this is not a natural game forum, rather this is a forum about "BECOMING authentic". Emphasis in becoming.
Amoging: Actual situation+your comments - Mark - 02-04-2012 10:39 PM
If this is PUA "working" for you, then I'd hate to see what not working looks like...
Amoging: Actual situation+your comments - Tim - 02-05-2012 12:47 AM
This is the most amusing thing to happen on the boards since... well, ever. Jean, I love how you reinforce the stereotype of the Latin (in this case Portuguese) wannabe lover who just doesn't have a clue, yet continues to plow ahead saying 'nah, all the ladies love me'. I believe you even once said "I know she wants me". Classic. I don't even feel bad being amused at your expense, because that attitude will actually get you somewhere, as evidenced by the first part of your post.
Still, one day your hijinks will be less amusing, because you'll start to get frustrated by your inability to seal the deal in a satisfying way, and to actually trust, and connect with, the girl. I mean why are you even putting in the effort for these girls, if, in your words
Jean DeCuir Wrote:When i left the girl i was into tryed to vibe with me, making a joke or so about a tease she did to me but i just reacted the most indifferent way and left. I deserve away better then her.
Seriously, why are you spending your time trying to get her interested in you if you're only going to turn her down when she shows interest back? With the way you acted during that night I think you should be grateful for her attention, not saying that you're better than that.
Anyway, this is all unbelievable, and I'm off to grab some popcorn. Please, continue.
Amoging: Actual situation+your comments - Mark - 02-05-2012 01:13 AM
Now let's not get condescending here. We've all done some stupid stuff on this board before. And at least Jean's out there going for it.
Here seems to be the bottom line Jean:
- Your results are sub-par. Otherwise you wouldn't be here posting for help.
- Your idea of what's wrong is completely off. You still believe that you're not getting laid because you're not executing techniques well enough.
- What we're all trying to tell you is that techniques have little to do with it, your mindset and intentions are coming from a very weak, needy and unattractive place.
- You'd be better served by relaxing and just meeting some women for a while casually and not trying to "game" them. Just talk to them, listen to them, try to get along with them. Once you're able to do that, then start worrying about how to get them into bed. I think you'll be surprised how far "just being normal" will get you.
Amoging: Actual situation+your comments - Tim - 02-05-2012 01:34 AM
Mark Wrote:Now let's not get condescending here. We've all done some stupid stuff on this board before. And at least Jean's out there going for it.
Fair enough Mark. I don't have the same patience and understanding for guys in this situation as you might.
Jean; to add to what Mark's said, and to try to offer you some real guidance, I think you should ask yourself whether you're really so confident in what you've learned. Mark explicitly said that you're wrong in your thinking, which may not be easy to swallow. I know a lot of the time I'd rather argue back than truly listen when I hear something like that. But surely there must be a part of you that finds classic PUA advice confusing, inconsistent, or just plain false?
All I'm saying is that Mark's right to point out that if this is PUA working for you, what would it look like if it wasn't? From someone who has been a PUA believer and then skeptic, I can promise you that this side makes a lot more sense and seems to fit a lot closer with reality.
Amoging: Actual situation+your comments - Matty - 02-05-2012 06:56 AM
You should really, really listen to everyone on this board and go on a PUA detox. With regard to getting "amogged", the very few times I've been socializing and someone's done something like that to make me look like an idiot in front of the group, I usually just put on half a shit eating grin, and give him a weird look like "oh my god, I can't believe you just said something that fuckin dumb". Reacting to it anymore than that is pointless.
Amoging: Actual situation+your comments - bwong - 02-05-2012 11:52 AM
Wow honestly just shows how backwards thinking this whole AMOG concept is. Old and outdated pick up material from 10 years ago.
"I tryed to make him look needy, not by putting my arm on his shoulder, but by making him smile a lot while i was with a more regular face, like if he was trying to vibe with me, trying to impress me."
The irony of that is by trying to make him look needy you make yourself look needy.