+- Postmasculine.com Forum (http://postmasculine.com/forum)
+-- Forum: PostMasculine.com (/Forum-PostMasculine-com)
+--- Forum: Confidence and Self-Esteem (/Forum-Confidence-and-Self-Esteem)
+--- Thread: Girl In School (/Thread-Girl-In-School)
Girl In School - JustAGuy - 04-29-2012 05:31 PM
Hey guys, I'm very new to this forum. I was seeking for help, but didn't know who to talk to, and found this website. This looks like it will be a long post, but hang with me here. Well, there's this girl. To introduce her, she is my best friend's girlfriend's best friend. We hang out almost every weekend, and often seem to have a good time. I really like her and I want to get to know her. But it seems like she's got a couple guys hitting on her. There was a party last weekend and we were both there. Being the shy guy that I am, I didn't make a move. I didn't do anything. Right now, I'm hating myself for it. Instead, a guy was flirting with her, he had his arms around her, and she was leaned into him. From other people, I get a lot of compliments that I am a good looking guy, and so I should not have a problem. What can I do to make her want me, and boost my self confidence so I can engage in more activities or conversations with her? I don't think this girl doesn't like me, as when we meet eyes, it doesn't seem bad.
RE: Girl In School - Halo Effect - 04-29-2012 07:41 PM
We have all been there, JustAGuy. I've had that feeling where I'm disappointed in myself for not talking to a girl all too well.
To answer your questions: You can't make her like you. What you can do is overcome your fear and simply talk with her and see what happens.
It's the simple and common scenario where you will NEVER have success if you don't make a move, and you MIGHT have success if you do make a move. But talking with her, and expressing interest in her in some way (which is even scarier but very important) requires that you risk rejection. She might reject you, and that's scary.
Now you can live with the idea that it might work, and if you go and make a move then you will face the truth, whatever it is. All things that are worthwhile in life are like that... You need to risk some to gain some.
RE: Girl In School - juggernaut92 - 04-30-2012 02:12 AM
Yes we have all been there man. I learned this from another forum but something they really hammered into me is "to get that one special girl you must be able to get any girl". The way to do this is to go out and talk to women and go through trial and error. This will lead you onto a long and fun journey but by the end you will have a wide variety of women to choose from and to date.
As for this girl, she can be start of this journey for you. I can't promise you that she will love you but then she will at least you know that you like her and girls really appreciate that. Just go up to her and be upfront. Tell her that you like her and want her to grab coffee with you. It seems like a big task but this is the only way to do it. Next time you see her, go up and talk to her.
You have to understand that it does not matter how good looking you are, women will most likely never come up and approach you to talk. It happens rarely but most of the time you will have to make the decision to talk to her.
RE: Girl In School - baller08 - 04-30-2012 07:46 PM
JustAGuy - Your problem isn't this "one girl"...your problem is you have fears of girls who are attractive in general. Don't focus on this one girl...that isn't the problem. Read this first and begin the process of "un-brain washing" all the nice guy fears and insecurities you have within your mind.
http://baller08.blogspot.com/2011/02/common-myths-that-most-men-carry-all.html
RE: Girl In School - JustAGuy - 05-05-2012 07:52 PM
Hey all of you! thanks a lot for the replies. It really did help. We did hang out a couple of times after and ended up talking. We are able to talk well, but from the hints and all that, I realize that she does not like me. I guess I am just trying to get over her now...
My problem I figured is that I can't seem to man up to people I LIKE. I am not afraid to talk to anyone who is considered "attractive", but I guess I get the bitch butterflies. Thank you again for the great help...
RE: Girl In School - Halo Effect - 05-05-2012 08:59 PM
Have you read Mark's book Models? I think the first few chapters in the book in particular can help you.
And if you don't take a chance by asking her out or stating your interest, you can't be completely sure she doesn't like you. Although you may be right... But one thing guys often learn when they get better with women, is that women were often already open to meeting and dating them, but they just couldn't read the signs. Or their inaction eventually made the girl less interested in them.