So I had been seeing this girl for about 2 months.
The last time I saw her was last Wednesday.
During that time, I tried to get her to go back to her place for sex but she said no. I felt the relationship was waning.
I did not contact her all weekend and she did not contact me.
Yesterday, I sent her a short note on facebook asking her how her weekend was. She has not responded.
I have officially written her off.
Here is the weird thing though. I don't feel bad about it. I don't really miss her. I actually felt worse when I sent her the note than when I just cut off contact with her. Since this is the first girl I have ever been with for an extended period of time, I thought that I would feel terrible and miss her, but I don't.
In the past, I have been infatuated with girls who I have had way less contact with. In college, there was about a week when I was hanging out with this girl. I never even kissed her but I thought about her for a year and it sucked. About 3 years ago, I made out with my hot neighbor. Thought about her for about 6 months and it sucked.
With this recent girl, I felt bad for about 2 days and then it stopped. The thing is, I sometimes feel like I should care more about losing this girl, but I don't. On the other hand, I feel that this might be a healthy thing.
I am going to probably see her at this social situation, but I am just going to act civil and friendly.
Anyone ever go through this type of thing? Is this normal?
Creatine Dreams -
This type of thing? Yeah, that is called being a man. Why would a strong man with standards and options care about a girl he has known for 2 months and be broken up about it? Makes no sense.
I saw your follow up to your weekend and I'm glad you went out and had some fun. No surprise, she didn't contact you because like I said to you last week, she is just not that attracted to you; girls who are demonstrate it very clearly and that was that whole "watch their actions, not hear their words" advice.
One of the things I try to help men do is to create what I call an "Engine of Learning". I find that most men that I deal with who aren't good with women are really lazy. They want things spoon-fed to them and they don't actually learn from their experiences.
If you learn to open your eyes to reality and not what you "think should be", but actually what is, then you will learn far more than any blog or message board can provide you.
For example, let's take this girl and your situation. You said this about her past:
(03-23-2012 05:39 PM)Creatine Dreams Wrote: [ -> ]As far, as who she is, I do know a little bit about her past. She is a single mom who was married to a dude for 9 years. He cheated on her. Her last relationship lasted for 2 years and that guy cheated on her as well. I think she obviously has some trust issues. I have tried to make her feel comfortable and let her know that I care about her. I do not want to hurt her feelings.
Then you describe her impression of you before she went out with you:
(03-22-2012 10:22 PM)Creatine Dreams Wrote: [ -> ]Anyways, fast forward to two months ago. I met a girl, she became really interested in me and we started dating. She completely thought that I was a player and that I saw tons of women. She was a really cool girl who was nice, intelligent and pretty. This was my first relationship.
Funny thing was, I tried to be open with her about certain things and she simply did not believe me. For example, after we had been dating for a month, I told her that I was nervous on our first date but she did not believe me.
Despite her bad experience, she STILL went out with you thinking you were this big player. It wasn't till afterwards when she realized that you were really into her and that you most likely WOULDN'T cheat on her did her interest dropped.
Since she was cheated on, why did she happily go out with you and have sex with you if she thought you were this big player with tons of girls?
Those guys who cheated on her didn't just cheat on her out of the blue. They were challenging guys, most likely players that had a high chance of cheating on her but as with most women that is the challenge that they are drawn to. That is the type of high value man that women want. They will take their chance on trying to get a man NOT to cheat than to be with a guy who has no options.
So a few lessons here:
1) This doesn't mean that you should be a cheater. But it should teach you what women are drawn to.
2) This should teach you that you want to be selective with women. Don't try to have relationships with women who need high octane challenge because they will most likely cheat on you when the next challenge comes along.
3) Don't feel sorry for women. You were so concerned about hurting her feelings and proving to her that you weren't like all the other guys. That's not your job. The more you try to be sensitive to her past the more unattractive you'll be....as you quickly discovered here.
We have a huge men's movement here but women need to have their's too in a very different way than the original women's movement. They need to take responsibility for their decisions and actions. Women aren't raised that way today and we (men) are part of the problem because we don't hold them to anything.
If they pick high risk men and get cheated on, they aren't the victims and you as the next guy definitely shouldn't feel you need to go out of your way to prove anything.
Write her off completely. I wouldn't be surprised if she contacts you at some point soon because girls like that can't stand when a guy actually just drops her, but I would just ignore it and move on to other women. You need the experience and the lessons. Don't get into relationships right now because you don't have enough experience yet to filter out the women who are not deserving of your commitment. But you will....just keep improving.
Thanks for the response, Baller. And yes, those are good lessons!
Anyways, she just wrote me back a long message, telling me how she has been super busy and how she will likely not have time to hang out. Now, that is probably true as finals are coming up, but if she really liked me, I am sure she could find a little time to hang out. (I remember a couple of weekends ago she had a big test, said she could not hang out and then called me on two separate occasions to hang out. Once to drink with her, the second time for a booty call)
And in a weird way, I actually feel worse that she wrote me back. I was giving her a perfect out not to respond. Just gonna write her a quick two word response and move on. Or maybe, not even respond...
Regardless, I will be seeing her this Friday as we will both be at the same social event together. I will probably just see how she acts around me. If she wants to fuck after the event, I may be down for that, but that will not be my objective. I will be there primarily to have fun with my friends and maybe flirt with some other girls. After that, I will not contact her again.
Also, she has a birthday coming up in a month. Probably not gonna go to it.
Regardless, of whether she has a fleeting interest in me (I doubt it), she does not meet my needs. I want someone who can give me a little bit more attention. Someone who will prioritize me in their life to a certain degree. While I got that vibe from her in the beginning, it is simply not there anymore. And you cannot beat a dead horse.
Most of the time a woman isn't going to make that easy. That's the game. If you go right back to where you were, she'll continue to do what she's doing. In a lot of ways she did make it easier for you by telling you she doesn't have time to hang out...that's her way of letting you down easy. Other girls may have said some sweet things and made you regret your decisions or think that you jumped the gun or should have given her another chance, etc.
Don't worry if you see her or not. I would completely start with another girl. If you have sex with her you'll be right back to where you were last week. Like I told you in the last thread...don't chase sex.
The only thing you need to focus on is this sentence you said: "Someone who will prioritize me in their life to a certain degree". Have standards and expectations, then work on your life so that you have the right to them.
Hmm. Haven't had time for the board at the weekend, but from reading the OP i was about to say I'm sure she'll respond in due time. And surprise surprise of course she has done so.
From what you have described nothing happened between the two of you that would warrant a cease of contact/interaction. Therefore you 'officially writing her off' after asking how her weekend was... makes not much sense/is sort of erratic and a result of your emotional reaction to not getting enough attention. In case you did portray all that took place I think you owe this lady more than the how was your weekend message. If you don't want to see her anymore, explain it. Preferably in person. If you still want to know what is going on, just ask her if your thing is still ongoing or if it's run it's course in her opinion.
Anyway, it's kind of hard to tell if this is a romantic interest of yours or more a friend with benefits sort of arrangement. I'm sort of suspecting you're not quite clear yourself about what it is.
What is crystal clear to me though is this woman has priorities in her life. Her child first and foremost and then her education. That's not going to change anytime soon. While I feel you've shown some quite needy behaviours, it's perfectly understandable that you want more attention, emotional and physical. It's a legitimate need of yours. However, this woman is not capable of giving that to the degree that you seem to require it. That is the reality. Something's gotta give. She's probably giving what she can, or what she feels comfortable with at this point in time, given her own history. From what you've shared of her biography my educated guess would be she's mature enough not to be playing games with you (at least I hope so for her sake, given that she has a child). What you've seen is what you get.
At the end of the day this is all about you. What do you want, what do you need from a relationship and how much do you care about her to put up with the circumstances. Her kid will be top priority for the unforeseeable future. You gotta listen into yourself and make a decision. By what you posted, you seem to be already leaning towards the exit.
So when you make your decision I feel you should be mature about it and communicate it, and discuss it with her. You've been somewhat together, had an intimate physical relationship with frequent communication, regardless if the thing wasn't defined. Tell her you don't think it's going anywhere and you're going to refrain from contacting her in the future.
(03-28-2012 09:03 AM)SeXyBaCk Wrote: [ -> ]I think you owe this lady more than the how was your weekend message. If you don't want to see her anymore, explain it. Preferably in person. If you still want to know what is going on, just ask her if your thing is still ongoing or if it's run it's course in her opinion.
I completely agree. Some people would say that expressing that would appear needy but I disagree. Neediness is in the intention and in trying to hide what you want... Confronting a woman with "I want to know what's on your mind, is this serious or not?" and being upfront about it is key. If you want more than she wants that's ok, you'll get over it... but hiding what you want from her and expecting her to actually know about it... it's kind of random.
Sexyback, Chaos - there is nothing to be gained by him asking. You don't think she knows what he wants already? She's already letting him down easy. He is not overracting to anything. He is seeing her interest slip. The right and strong thing to do is to just stop contact. He doesn't owe her anything. He hasn't been rude, it's been 2 months.
There is a time and place to be upfront about your emotions but this isn't one of those times because it's already done. Look at a woman's ACTIONS. This whole "she has a kid and higher priorities" is true but when she thought he was a player and had a lot of girls, she had plenty of time for him.
Fellas - don't ever buy the "she's too busy to spend time with me" crap. I've dated girls who were going to school full time, worked and had plenty of time for me. I've dated single mothers who made plenty of time for me...yes it was harder obviously and things had to be more planned out, but they made the effort because THEY REALLY LIKED ME.
For women relationships are huge, if she found a guy she is attracted to physically, mentally, and emotionally there is no such thing as not having time. And even if she can't physically make the time, she'll be sure to be in contact. Especially today with texting, FB, email....girls are always reaching out to someone....as most of you have observed probably. If she isn't reaching out to you, then get the hint. No need for this sit down and "where are we going" type conversations. That's not vulnerability...that's just not getting a clue.
What's getting lost in all of this is what Creatine wants... he doesn't seem to know himself. He seems to be butt-hurt that she's not responding to him... yet at the same time he says he doesn't really miss her and just wants to play things off.
What needs to happen is he needs to decide what he wants. If he wants something more with her, then he needs to make that decision and then act on it by asking her what the deal is. If he doesn't really care, but is just worrying about this because he poor little ego is getting bruised, then he needs to just let it go and move on.
(03-28-2012 03:09 PM)baller08 Wrote: [ -> ]Sexyback, Chaos - there is nothing to be gained by him asking. You don't think she knows what he wants already? She's already letting him down easy. He is not overracting to anything. He is seeing her interest slip. The right and strong thing to do is to just stop contact. He doesn't owe her anything. He hasn't been rude, it's been 2 months.
Yeah, you might be right or not, it depends on the specific "contracts" that were made. I mean, If you're just fucking her and that's understood then you don't owe anything. If the implicit feeling was that they're into something else then I always feel I owe some explanation to the other person... but that's just because I'd want the same if things were the other way around.
I've always hated girls who simply "stop calling" or "stop answering"... I'm really not gonna start to do the same no matter how "beta" it can make me look.
And for the record, for me the "right and strong" thing to do is to call her, tell her what you expect for the relationship and how it is not being fulfilled... and how you are sorry but you're looking for a different kind of thing. No hard feelings or anything, simply put we're on different tracks and I don't feel you're the person I'm looking for. Of course that has to be true, not a tactic to "gain her back", not a method for hurting her (quite the contrary)... just the simple and honest truth. Anyway that's MY way of doing things.
Chaos -
I don't disagree with your way of doing things provided you were both spending time together and she was investing. In that case then it would be the right thing to do because you don't want her feeling like "what happened?"
Which is what you felt when girls simply stop calling or stop answering. However, this isn't the case here. Girls will usually not just come out and say, "hey we're just not clicking, no hard feelings". She has already told him in by her actions. She has already given all the signs of "I'm no longer interested". So he should get the hint and move on.
A girl who still wants to pursue a relationship with you will never say, "I'm busy this weekend so I can't see you" and then not contact you. Any guy who has had women really like him or falling in love with him knows that she could have a family member in the hospital while she's studying for finals and doing charity work.....in a different time zone....and she'll still find time to contact you and see you.
I'm with Chaos on this, which I perceive is the mature way to handle it. By communicating. Everything else just becomes potentially messy. If said lady lives nearby you're bound to bump into her down the road, maybe with a new date, might be awkward if he just cuts her off. She might talk badly about him etc. They still go to the same school remember.
I don't get the whole PUA reckoning about how women are and predicting interpreting their behaviour. Every person is different. No way for me to know what her intentions are. Or what messages she's sending out.
What's much more apparent to me is this is about solely about Creatine. I'm still waiting on Creatine to finally get in touch with himself and figure out what he wants here. I asked you this in your very first thread, Crea, how much you cared for the lady? Either you want something from her, or you're hurt simply because she's not giving you attention and therefore you are getting out, before she might do the same. My spider sense is telling me it's going in that direction.
Crea, from all you've described is you'll ignore her, but if she calls for sex or more you'll go over. One way or another you need to take a more active role in your own life and do something.
Sexyback - you and Chaos are talking about 2 different scenarios here. If you've been dating a girl and she likes you and is investing in you and you don't want to date her anymore, then what you guys suggest I wholeheartedly agree with. It's the right thing to do and it's the respectful thing to do.
But this isn't that case. SHE. DOESN'T. LIKE. HIM. She's already told him so by her actions. I don't get what you guys aren't getting here. It's really very cut and dry. I can't count how many times I've heard a girl complain that a guy can't get a clue, that she's tried to let him down easy but he just won't get the hint.
We all know what Creatine wants, he's told us very clearly. He wants a relationship with her. She doesn't want to date him. Let it go. It's very simple guys.
And please...this "everyone is different" is about as useful as "just be yourself". Everyone is not different. If I stab you in the leg, I guarantee you that you will scream in pain. If a woman with certain symmetrical features walk by, I guarantee you will feel the same way I feel.
Entire industries and science such as marketing, criminal profiling, advertising, psychology and so forth are built on the fact that humans are not different. Agony is shown on a human's face in any part of the world the same way. So is happiness. So is anger.
Back to the point: If a woman is attracted to you and wants a relationship with you, she shows it in nearly the same way every time. This girl that Creatine is talking about ain't interested. Her behavior screams it and she has practically told him so. Stop wasting time thinking everyone is different. Once you get to know someone that's a different story as each person has different experiences, but in the early stages of dating, you can absolutely predict and interpret certain behaviors. Women are excellent at it. That's why they can weed out weak men in under a minute.
SeXyBaCk Wrote:What's much more apparent to me is this is about solely about Creatine. I'm still waiting on Creatine to finally get in touch with himself and figure out what he wants here. I asked you this in your very first thread, Crea, how much you cared for the lady? Either you want something from her, or you're hurt simply because she's not giving you attention and therefore you are getting out, before she might do the same. My spider sense is telling me it's going in that direction.
Crea, from all you've described is you'll ignore her, but if she calls for sex or more you'll go over. One way or another you need to take a more active role in your own life and do something.
This.
The whole call-her/don't-call-her really hinges on this. It also hinges on the depth of the relationship and personal preference as well. There's no right or wrong answer.
Obviously Creatine has to make his own decisions...good, bad or indifferent and learn from them.
On a board like this we try to give him advice that is specific to him and his current skill level. If I remember correctly he is in his early 30's and this is his first real relationship. He has reported that he gets pretty hooked on a girl even after brief contact. This should suprise no man on here who knows what he's doing because this is how most men react who haven't had a lot of options in women.
The reason why the best move for him is to move on is because if he goes back to have sex with her or tells her he needs a woman who fits his needs more, it would take her just a few minutes to get him back to this limbo area where he's waiting on her.
You guys have to remember what it's like to be where Creatine is now in his development. For example, Mark, if this was you in this situation (and realistically you wouldn't be in this situation) you could talk to her, have sex with her, and she can say the sweetest things but you aren't going to be hooked. If she doesn't meet your needs, you'll move on without any second-guessing. For the men who finally "get it", it doesn't matter what she says...you'll state your goodbyes and move on.
But we have to remember Creatine isn't there yet. He will be I'm sure, but I've seen men waste a LOT of time with situations like these. It's far better if he moves on and starts gaining more experience with other women so he starts to see patterns and what works and what doesn't. Going around in a spin cycle with 1 girl isn't going to help him.
Anyway, this thread has been long enough....you guys know my position on it, it's up to Creatine to make a decision and stick with it.
(03-28-2012 03:34 PM)Mark Wrote: [ -> ]What's getting lost in all of this is what Creatine wants... he doesn't seem to know himself. He seems to be butt-hurt that she's not responding to him... yet at the same time he says he doesn't really miss her and just wants to play things off.
What needs to happen is he needs to decide what he wants. If he wants something more with her, then he needs to make that decision and then act on it by asking her what the deal is. If he doesn't really care, but is just worrying about this because he poor little ego is getting bruised, then he needs to just let it go and move on.
Yeah, I think you are right, Mark. And the thing is, I do not exactly know what I want because my frame of reference is not very large as I have really not dated too many girls. On one hand, I think she is a pretty cool girl. She is smart, pretty and a genuinely nice person. I really do not have anything bad to say about her in that regard. On the other hand, I do think that I resent her a little bit for losing interest in me, regardless if my perception is correct or not.
So I think it boils down to this. If I do decide to talk to her in a mature fashion, I will be making myself vulnerable. The fact that she might she say that she does not want to see me anymore will likely hurt. But on the other hand, she could really just be very busy. I know that her daughter and school are her number one and number two priorities. She has a limited amount of time and her school workload is really high as we are getting close to finals. The fact that I think she could be losing interest in me could be all in my head.
On the other hand, not calling her and ignoring her will protect my ego. If she really is not interested in me, this is an easy way out. But then the question is whether or not it is the morally right thing to do. And I am not sure that it is. She has done nothing wrong to me.
I guess I have a lot of thinking to do in the near future. I need to think about things like whether or not I really like her, or if I am just blinded by sex. I need to think about whether or not I can stay with her even though she might not always have time for me. There are no easy answers here, but I ultimately need to make a decision to do something.
Regardless, I will be seeing her on Friday. I think the best course of action is just to have fun with her and see if I still enjoy her company. After that, I will have to make a decision about how to deal with the situation.
Thanks again for all the help, guys. I know that I am far behind a lot of you in this whole dating thing but I am really trying to the best I can and it is hard!
Ahh...the joys of being conflicted!
Pay less attention to all of the logical details and pay more attention to how you feel. She's smart, nice, pretty, whatever... that's nice. But how do you FEEL about her? Do you miss her? Do wish she'd call? If so, is it because you're insecure or you actually miss hanging out with her?
Your actions should be determined by the answers to these questions... just for future reference.
But yes, if you see her again, just be nice and friendly with her... but my gut feeling is that this one is over... which is fine (in fact, it's normal).
(03-29-2012 12:46 AM)Creatine Dreams Wrote: [ -> ]But on the other hand, she could really just be very busy. I know that her daughter and school are her number one and number two priorities. She has a limited amount of time and her school workload is really high as we are getting close to finals. The fact that I think she could be losing interest in me could be all in my head.
Its not. Remember that "engine of learning" that I talked about? When she first thought you were this big player, she still had a daughter and was in school right? Why wasn't she too busy then?
When/if you get to the point where you start having women want to be with you and feel attraction for you consistently, you'll know what I mean when I said that women will always make time for you. The difference is enormous. "Busy" is an excuse.
"Conflicted" only happens to guys who think, "
Damn, in my gut I know she's lost interest because I can see the difference in her behavior...but I don't have anyone else and if I let her go I won't be having sex anymore.....maaaaaaybe I'm overracting....let me go ask someone till someone tells me to just hang in there and be patient and understanding."
Has anyone told him to hang in there and be patient? ... seems to be more a case of you telling him to ditch & run, while others are saying, dude, just ask what's going on, if she's not feeling it anymore, he knows what's up and can move on.
In general that is the thought process, Sexyback. Like you saying, "She's probably giving what she can". That's the same as saying "be more understanding". I'm saying she's not. She had plenty of time for him 2 months ago. Women who are attracted to a man aren't "too busy". You know this.
I get that you're suggesting he asks what's going on. I'm saying that she's already told him what's going on and if a man is going to get to the point where he truly improves then he has to learn to see these actions for what they are.
As Mark said in his book, guys waste a lot of time when they don't know how to get through the ones who are Not Receptive. She's no longer receptive and she's told him so by her actions. I don't have a problem with him asking but I know that usually a guy in Creatine's skill level will walk away from the conversation even more confused because in his heart he really doesn't want to go and he's looking for a reason to stay.
(03-28-2012 05:47 PM)SeXyBaCk Wrote: [ -> ]I don't get the whole PUA reckoning about how women are and predicting interpreting their behaviour. Every person is different. No way for me to know what her intentions are. Or what messages she's sending out.
I think this is a great point, and one that should be paid attention to. Indeed, the PUA myth that woman aren't different or unique is one of the most destructive. Creatine, I'm not intimately familiar with your situation, but it sounds to me like you want a sense of certainty to this, and a sense of control. It seems to me thatit his uncertainty may be a cause of your conflicted feelings. I definitely suffer from that as well. What Baller and many other post PUAs will try to sell u on is the idea that all woman behave the same. This is of course ludacris, and it goes way beyond dating. The idea is that it offers men a feeling of being in control, when the reality is that many things in our lives aren't in our control, including how others behave. It is entirely a bastardization of evolutionary psychology, and can be a source misery for the man who always feels he has to have people figured out.
I'm still planning on doing an epic post on destroying all of the misunderstandings about evolutionary psychology that gets passed around. Been putting it off because I want to re-read a couple books first though. Want to make sure I really get the post right.
Baller, sounds like you likely know more about Crea's situation than I do. From what I took Crea has been seeing a woman casually in an undefined capacity for 2 months. On a date he wants to go home and have sex and she's not putting out (for reasons unkown to me). Crea gets miffed. Not much happened since then (to my knowledge). Here we are. What other signs have there been? I guess i've missed out on a whole lot of his situation here.
Personally, I don't get shattered by being denied sex by a woman i frequently already have been intimate with. I give her some space. Do my own thing, even better, some "me time". I hope Crea you don't take offence in me saying so, but you came across as quite needy for the sex in the previous thread. Which lead to everyone asking is it just the sex you want from her, or actually her companionship? From what I deduct that is what you're trying to figure out. Once you know what you want, announce it/discuss it with her, if she doesn't want to provide, good, you know where stand and all confusion will be cleared up. That way you listened to yourself, you did what you felt like doing, you were being respectful to yourself and her. At least that's how I would handle this if it were my life. That's my advice.
Crea, I don't know about your heart or your "skill level" mate, so for all I know my advice is counterproductive. But from what you've described you're not too phased by this relationship bump. That's how it should be. You want clarity, which you should be entitled to. Conferring with her or going with your gut feeling, probably will ultimately result in the same outcome anyway.
I agree with what Mark said and partly with what Baller said. I inhibited from posting anymore because Mark is right, it was a discussion between me and Baller about our personal way of handling those things that transcended what the real question by Crea was.
I personally think how to handle this kind of things is a result of both your feelings and your personal way of doing things, so if I was Crea, I would center in really discerning in depth what he's feeling and what his motives are. Once that clear he can choose between the options we've provided. Anyway I too feel the interest from the girl has faded and it's time to move on. Once that's understood, the only question is how you want to move on, but definitively you have to move on.
(03-30-2012 05:47 AM)Matty Wrote: [ -> ]What Baller and many other post PUAs will try to sell u on is the idea that all woman behave the same. This is of course ludacris, and it goes way beyond dating.
I know...those nutty PUAs and psychologist and scientists and medical doctors and surgeons and criminal profilers and advertisers....it's ridiculous. Everyone is 100% the same in every way shape and form in every single thing we do. We are simply carbon copies of each other...because that was exactly what I was trying to convey. Right?
Not EVERY man is attracted to Kate Beckinsale, surely there are men out there who rather have sex with Melissa McCarthy. Do you, Matty? Oh you don't? Wow...neither do I! What a coincidence. What a minute...Creatine probably doesn't either. Nor Chaos or Mark or Sexyback. Hmm...wow...I can't believe it! We probably like different movies and music, are different ages, grew up differently, are different races, have different careers, from different countries, have a different favorite color...but we're the same when it comes to baseline attraction. Ludicrous!
Come on guys. This "everyone is unique" is equivalent to the advice "just be yourself". No basis whatsoever. We're human. Like any species on this planet there are wholesale, universal behaviors that are usually consistent when presented with a certain stimuli. To live your life not understanding human nature is to live a life of constant conflict, confusion, and angst; which coincidentally describes most "nice guys" walking around.
Quote:I know...those nutty PUAs and psychologist and scientists and medical doctors and surgeons and criminal profilers and advertisers....it's ridiculous. Everyone is 100% the same in every way shape and form in every single thing we do. We are simply carbon copies of each other...because that was exactly what I was trying to convey. Right?
The irony here is that any psychologist, scientist or doctor worth his salt will tell you that you're wrong, haha...
Yes, there are universal behaviors (laughing, smiling, crying, etc.) when the behavior is simple. But once behaviors become more complicated, they play out over a bell curve. For instance, attraction. The majority of women may be attracted to men who behave in a dominant manner, but that doesn't mean they all do. And it certainly doesn't mean it's "hard wired" into women or that it's "human nature" like a lot of PUA's would tell you. Such statements show a total ignorance of actual evolutionary psychology.