Postmasculine.com Forum

Ohh I bought the ebook version as well. If I get around to it I'll read it.



And as far as I know sex drive works differently for men than it does for women. When a man stops any sexual activity, he goes completely crazy. When a woman stops all sexual activity, the sex drive gradually goes away. Great sex actually boosts a woman's sex drive.

Just failed Although, I have to say, I am not really that annoyed with myself. I think I just needed to let off steam, as it were! It had gradually been building the last few days as I sailed closer and closer to the wind. Lasted 19 days. I immediatly lost interest in looking for more after the event, as it were.

Ok, so last time I started I aimed for the end of April, and started on the 20th. This time I will go for the end of May. It is now the night of the 8th. Tomorrow is going to be the hardest.

Was getting annoyed the last couple of days that I was not really feeling any positive effects. Although I am possibly a little annoyed because I felt like I was possibly about to turn the corner and get more positive about things. The problem is that I have felt that way many times before and still carried on with my lazy ways. I think I may have deeper rooted problems than just porn addiction

Majik - it's OK that you failed this first time. You got to 19 days which is a hell lot better than me the first few times I tried giving up porn.

In my experience though, once you've relapsed it's very much easy to fall down the slippery slope again. Thoughts starting coming up like 'Oh, since I already failed yesterday, I'll just watch some more today - I can easily start my challenge again tomorrow. I know I can do it' And then this goes on a few times. Before you know it you're back at square one.

So fight it man! Don't let any of those thoughts fool you into another 'just once'. You can do it!

Day 22 now, never lasted so long before, feeling fan-fucking-tastic!

43 days!

It's taken quite a while (and several relapses) to get to this point, but I've went a solid 43 days without viewing ANY pornographic material. I'm actually really happy with myself. The most I've been able to do was 30 days before I caved in. But now, I'm committed to no longer watching porn.

No porn for almost 2 weeks now. I've been having a serious drop in sexual interest in general. I can get it up but it just doesn't happen on it's own and my gf has had to try.

I've been about as stressed out as a person can ever be though. I'm moving away soon and just so much stuff has to be taken care of it's insane.

I've never had an issue with this. I feel really bad for my gf, I'm leaving in less than a week and I haven't been performing anywhere near as well as I have our relationship.

I don't know if this has anything to do with quitting porn. Wanted to put this here though.

(05-09-2012 01:24 PM)questra Wrote: [ -> ]In my experience though, once you've relapsed it's very much easy to fall down the slippery slope again. Thoughts starting coming up like 'Oh, since I already failed yesterday, I'll just watch some more today - I can easily start my challenge again tomorrow. I know I can do it' And then this goes on a few times. Before you know it you're back at square one.

So fight it man! Don't let any of those thoughts fool you into another 'just once'. You can do it!

You know, what? That is exactly what has happened! I knew it would. Had already written off the day after I failed, accepted it, but I am now annoyed that I have failed again today Ok, so I am starting again right now! No "Oh I'll start tomorrow", but right now! Start the clock!

Things I did well before that I need to stick to. I Had drawn the line much further than hardcore porn. I had banned myself from cruising the adult chat channels, even during the day! That started to go out the window before I failed. So need to not watch them again.
Things I did not do well that I could improve. I allowed myself to still look at the adult movie database (no pictures) to look girls up and see what they had done. I also looked at the occaisional review out of curiosity. I need to make sure I ban myself from this page too, as it is all linked.

Going to give meditiation a shot too. Never did get round to it on crazy horse's suggestion. Checked out the meditation thread and read the article. Lets see if it helps

If I ever needed motivation then it is the fact that I will be seeing the lady again in just over 5 weeks. If I manage to succeed then she will not know what hit her!

Is looking at pictures cheating?

What sort of pictures? Depends where you want to draw the line, but I have found that one thing leads to another!

I already have a new found determination and positivity. Thank you questra

OK, it feels a little weird writing this post, especially given my history as a PUA or whatever and supposedly having to bang perfect 10's and all that nonsense. But I think this challenge has recently brought on a major shift in me sexually and I wanted to post about it.

I'm now at around the six month mark, and with the exception of a couple relapses (one minor, one maybe a week long and intentional), I have not looked at porn at all in six months.

I'm no expert on the "reboot" period or anything like that (maybe crazyhorse can chime in), but I'm finding that my taste in women physically has altered quite a bit... well, not altered as much as broadened. I'm finding more and more girls sexually attractive. It's been an ongoing thing since I started the challenge, but in the past few weeks it's hit a whole new level. I'm sexually attracted to way more women than I used to be. Girls who I used to think were too curvy, or too bubbly, or with really distinct features (unique hair, extra big ass, whatever), I'm now finding them attractive.

I have to say, after going 5-6 years straight "improving" the hotness of the girls I slept with, it feels VERY odd to find myself getting really turned on from women who I wouldn't have found that physically attractive a year ago.

Also recently found myself becoming much more sexually attracted to... wait for it... wait for it... personalities! *GASP* A great sense of humor, or great intelligence, or girl who has a big heart, these things sexually turn me on now, whereas they never really did before. Don't get me wrong, I always appreciated them in girls I dated, but my arousal was purely physical in the past.

I'm thinking that perhaps I always naturally found these sort of things attractive, but porn use for most of my adult life buried it and disconnected me from it.

Anyway, strange but welcome changes in my life. I still love the drop-dead gorgeous girls with ridiculous bodies, of course... but it's a nice change to not feel so limited and fixated on them anymore.

@ Majik you did awesome. 19 days! That's pretty good for a first time. You're already way ahead of me when I first started this. How is the withdrawal going for you?

Just awnser this:
1) what caused my relapse?
2) how can I prevent it next time?

I'll give you some examples from my own personal experience.
1) my computer wasn't protected / I was bored / it was late at night and I was surfing.
2) install a porn blocker / excercise or go out / block my internet late at night I did this from 6 p.m. till 6 a.m. and it has worked wonders.

Just keep going, you'll get there. Right now I'm on day 40 without porn and I've had two orgasms without porn in this period. The next time I'm gonna for 28 days without orgasm, I think I should be fully healed by then.

@ Zac that's a classic case of flatline. It could also be that you're libido is returning to its normal level. They are a lot of men who report this.

@ Mark. I agree with you on this one. I've noticed this myself. Just contact with women in general feels so much better. Now it's like you actually just enjoy being around them. It feels reallly weird to write this. Also my actions have far more meaning. A touch accompanied by a smile, it's all far more meaningfull. Really weird, but you're not alone on this.

I can't relate to the curvy part since i've always been a lover of curvy women. mmm curves + double D tits

Seriously those are the best!

@Tobias - Like Majik said, it depends on where you draw the line. About a few months ago I was already off hardcore porn, but I was substituting that with sexy videos and non-hardcore porn pics. It had the same bad effect on my sex life. Due to Internet links, I suspect even if you're just limiting yourself to pics, the temptation will be very high to click on video links - which is just the next step down the slippery slope. Case in point - msn.com plastered some news about 'Model at Mexican Debate' on my front page this morning and before I knew it I was looking at pictures of Playmate Julia Orayen.

@Zac - thanks for sharing. I'm no sexologist but I think the performance issues are probably due to the stress of moving to a different country/sorting out so many things. In my own reboot, my libido only started to rise again from the 2nd week onwards...

@Mark & crazyhorse - I've noticed this one too. Being off porn makes women, and contact with them in real life so much more rewarding and beautiful. Found it really interesting though, that Mark has had the same effect - cause after all he's the ex PUA-perfect 10 dude

Btw I'm on Day 47. And no, I'm not gonna reset my counter just because of the aforementioned Julia Orayen pics - sure, she's seriously a turn-on but I sure as hell am not gonna fap to them

Hi everyone, I'm new here. I stumbled upon the 60-day no porn challenge and was fascinated by it. I inadvertently started the porn diet when I recently went traveling a country where porn was blocked by a firewall. I was also crashing with friends. Getting porn would have been a pain in the ass and I was too busy doing traveling stuff to try and obtain it. I experienced all the benefits touted by the porn diet, such as women appearing more attractive all-round, consistent morning wood, increased drive, etc. I fapped less and used my past experiences as mental stimulation.

I'm just wondering, does reading erotic stories and fapping to them count as a "relapse"? I'm on day 35 of no porn but have had the urge to read some material. Thanks for all your input

Ok, third time lucky!!! Yes, failed again on attempt number two, but my heart wasn't really in it. I lasted about 48 hours, and most of that was due to being out for a whole day. This time I need to take it seriously again. It is mad how hard I am finding it to let go, and accept the fact that I won't ever look at it again. Although I realise I need to think on a smaller scale first. One step at a time!

(05-11-2012 02:02 PM)crazyhorse Wrote: [ -> ]Just awnser this:
1) what caused my relapse?
2) how can I prevent it next time?

In answer to your questions crazyhorse (in relation to my most recent fail)
1) I came home from my all day out, was quite drunk and it was late. Was channel surfing on the tv and was bored. Nothing was grabbing me, so I cruised through the adult chat channels and oggled the girls on there. One of them was a pornstar who I really liked. Didn't do anything more than that then, but the next day I woke up horny, and after spending too much time on my computer doing nothing, decided to follow up on it.
2) Do not watch late night telly when there is nothing on I want to watch. That goes for telly any time of day for that matter! Limit my internet time, so that I am off before I get bored and start to wander.

Also, I have moved my computer back out of my bedroom. It went back in there for a late skype to the lady (big time difference). That is the only reason to move it back there, and I must move it back next time.


I have really got a lot on my mind right now. There are also lots of things I should be doing. I definitely use porn as a means of blocking all of that out. Not healthy. Need a productive day today. That is going to involve breaking a habit of a lifetime! I am not talking about porn, I am talking about the fact that I always put everything off and leave it all to the last minute, since school!

---

Just to clarify, this is now day 1!

Hey man

don't be to hard on yourself here. Remember this is a progress! That's it. So if you want to complete the progress you have to follow it's rules. This means that you have to take every relapse as a learning experience.

I've been there myself. I think this is the first time I went 40 days without porn. Just like the tv was a trigger which lead you to surfing your computer. I would install a porn blocker on your computer if I were you. There are other options as well though. I've heared some positive things about open DNS.

The problem with just moving it into another area or saying "I won't watch it again" is that you can be drunk or tired and you won't have as much self control.

But in all honesty you seem to be doing fine. No flatlines? Cause this is a good sign.

---

(05-13-2012 02:19 AM)hectorness Wrote: [ -> ]Hi everyone, I'm new here. I stumbled upon the 60-day no porn challenge and was fascinated by it. I inadvertently started the porn diet when I recently went traveling a country where porn was blocked by a firewall. I was also crashing with friends. Getting porn would have been a pain in the ass and I was too busy doing traveling stuff to try and obtain it. I experienced all the benefits touted by the porn diet, such as women appearing more attractive all-round, consistent morning wood, increased drive, etc. I fapped less and used my past experiences as mental stimulation.

I'm just wondering, does reading erotic stories and fapping to them count as a "relapse"? I'm on day 35 of no porn but have had the urge to read some material. Thanks for all your input

You should be aware of it though.

1) how long do you keep watching it? Sometimes you can keep reading that stuff for 30 minutes or longer. Just because you want more and more. This is really bad for you! First of all if you edge (getting close to orgasm) for long periods of time, you elevate your dopamine levels for an unnatural period of time. This means that you're fallback will be stronger when you're dopamine levels are restoring themselves.

If you just read for like 5 minutes then don't panic. But I would definetly keep an eye on your behavior here. Judging from where you stand in the reboot ( morning wood, drive), you're cured already.

2) Does it remind me of my former porn behavior? If so, then there is a potential danger. Off course I didn't know how heavy you were addicted to it, but keep an eye out on this.

3) You can always keep a bikini magazine around if you really must. You see the ammount of novelty is way less compared to internet porn. On the internet you can literally see hundreds of pictures, with a magazine that's not really possible. Just make sure that it doesn't become a trigger. Meaning that the magazine will trigger strong cravings for porn.

I hope you questions were awnsered?

(05-13-2012 10:02 AM)crazyhorse Wrote: [ -> ]But in all honesty you seem to be doing fine. No flatlines? Cause this is a good sign.

Thanks for the support crazyhorse. Not sure about the flatline thing. I have a lady (or maybe not, it is hard to tell sometimes!) who lives a long way away, and who I have not seen for 7 months now. Hopefully only 1 month to go! As a result of being rather keen on her I have not really been that interested in anybody else. So have kind of been flatlining a lot of the time, although I have watched a lot of porn. Is that a contradiction?

Another question. Is blurred vision a withdrawal sypmtom? I see that it is with other 'drugs', caffiene etc. Has anybody else experienced this? Or is my eyesight going?! haha

i'm jumping on the bandwagon. now on day 2.

I have spent ten days without even looking at porn.

An account: i feel it might be good for me to write this...

It has now been 15 days since last looking at P and during this period had to have MO twice, but trying to "keep it real", i.e. no pictures of girls or whatever, not even imagination, just feeling the body sensations, kind of a mindfullness masturbation.
Got the idea from watching lectures of mindfullness meditation and thought that it would make it easier to accomplish my goal of 3 months without P. So i made a schedule and allowed myself to do such masturbation twice per week on predefined days (like saturdays and tuesdays) and whenever i pass the opportunity i have to wait until the next predefined day (this is to prevent accumulating two days and doing it two days in a row which would likely lead to a very complicated third day since on that day a relapse would be more likely)


I have been attempting to cut P since January (when i finally felt that it could be an important factor on my road to become "a better man", so to speak, which i feel is what this board is all about) and looking back i feel ridiculous and a bit ashamed of constantly failing. In retrospective whenever stress was more intense i binged and then to stop the bingeing was really diffitult, so often would pass two entire weeks bingeing then one week of restraint and then relapse and so forth... Only by reading again accounts here and on yourbrainonporn about the positive effects of cutting P many times over did i convince myself to try again seriously.
Most of the binges started by seeing some inocuous (or so I thought...) sensual stuff like girls kissing, and getting horny and not being able to get that off my mind which then progressed into searching for more and more of such videos and the more intense they were the more the urge to seek more and thus there was further progression to lesbian porn and then lesbian rough porn and then the final progression to full blown extreme porn, bdsm (though never got interested in gay or shemale stuff)
As i was writing this now even just thinking about the extreme stuff gave me a hardon... watching such stuff for so long gave me so many fantasies that seem so hard to fulfill and that makes me feel very frustrated and thus sad. I am almost a virgin (only had sex 3 times) and right now a healthy sex life seems to be so far from coming true much less having the possibility of making such fantasies come true (since i imagine that to find a girl who is into that kind of stuff is not very likely...)

So I've really been on board with this action since I saw this thread a couple of months ago. I've relapsed twice after going 8 and 6 days, respectively, from not watching and wanking to porn. I love the effects after a few days. You all know..the life coming back to you, real women becoming attractive all over again, healthier looking eyes from not being burned out from a monitor, etc. Now, I have a problem, that maybe some of you who have gone through this could relate to...

So I spend a few days "clean," but when I kick it to a woman I feel like I'm bringing a ton of intensity into the interaction. The libido is raging. I find myself pushing more toward a sexual route, and the interest in the person is usually challenged by the overruling desire to smash. Usually this overwhelming urge is tamed by a quick wank session. Of course, then the desire to kick it again drops to 0 and I fail this challenge again. Is this just something I have to get used to? Curious. Thanks. If it's not clear, I'll try to clarify.

Hey crazyhorse, thanks for the response.

My porn sessions pre-diet before were much longer, often (but not always) lasting up to 2 hours. Porn usage from before were a combination of tabbed videos/pictures and erotic stories, but mostly videos. Now, it's stories once in a while, though they can still go for 30 minutes. I've never really been turned on much by the magazines (save 12-13 year old me), and I find my past experiences/imagination to be far more powerful. I'm going to cut off the stories now too and see how that goes. Anything that's not imagination and not safe for work will be cut out.

What's the downside from edging and getting elevated dopamine levels? If I'm still getting consistent morning wood, is it still a problem? My sexual drive is quite high, and the only times I've lost the morning wood after the diet began is the day after ejaculating at least 3 times the previous day. I wanted to do no Porn + Masturbation, but the longest I've ever lasted was 5 days and I jerked off 4 times the 6th day. I don't quite feel the calm with the no masturbation, just a maniacal energy/ADD. I will use it as good motivation to approach.

Wish everyone the best of luck in this challenge. No porn really makes a huge difference.

I just failed today. Masturbated once without porn and then had the urge to do it with porn. Couldn't hold it. Lasted 7 days. I am super determined to start again because the benifits were Massive! Felt like captain caveman!

Disappointingly, I've relapsed two days in a row. I was at over 60 days and doing so well, so I really feel that I've let myself down. However, its in the past. I didn't have K9 installed before so I'm going to install it, pick myself back up, and get back on track.

(05-14-2012 05:55 PM)Pineapple Wrote: [ -> ]Disappointingly, I've relapsed two days in a row. I was at over 60 days and doing so well, so I really feel that I've let myself down. However, its in the past. I didn't have K9 installed before so I'm going to install it, pick myself back up, and get back on track.

Wow, 60 days! That is an amazing effort. Well done! Be really pleased with that. What benefits did you have? Do you have any advice for lasting that long?
Then what happened to set you off?