i've gotten tired of scouring the web for material on dance game - everyone has conflicting advice and alot of the stuff out there isn't very comprehensive. does anyone know of any dance game product that's legit? the only one i found that seems to cover all the bases is
'dance floor game decoded.' the dude that teaches the stuff seems legit from his videos and tips and i found good reviews of his e-book on several sites. before i put out the cash for the e-book, does anyone have any knowledge of his material? i'd appreciate any help.
Ah, this I can say I'm great at.
Dancing with girls on a dance floor is akin to pick up. Except its more anonymous and more sexual and physical, and less about personality.
You need to learn rhythm first if you don't already. If you want to dance with a girl, you simply walk up to her (you don't HAVE to talk with her, in fact you more commonly don't) with confidence grab her hand or the side of her hip (note: side of hip, anything else is harrasment) and just dance with her. On the dance floor, being respectfully aggressive is what you want to be. Respective in that you don't want to touch her in erroneous places or yank her, aggressive in that you're like a caveman and you simply grab her and expect her to dance with you without hesitation.
And like pickup here, its the same that some girls will want to dance, and some won't, and you can not really control whether they do or not, you only control your confidence and looks, which still doesn't mean that automatically every girl wants to dance.
As for technique, there's three things that matter when grinding with a girl. Rhythm. Stance strength, and syncronization with your partner.
Rhythm - you need to be able to at least move your body, especially hips to the rhythm of a beat. Doesn't have to be perfect or look spectacular, but to a point where you don't look off beat.
Stance strength - you have to make sure that when a girl dances with you, you don't get pushed back, girls equate grinding to sex, if they see that you can't even keep in place while their pushing their hips into you, they're gonna stop and leave. That's why you need good balance and a good rigid stance where you can move your hips while still resisting force.
Syncronization - the technical method of grinding is having your hips to her butt as you both move and keeping your penis between her ass cheeks at all times while you guys are moving to the music. There's a leader and a follower. The leader is the one that makes the dance moves, and the follower follows and does (or trys to do) the same thing the leader is doing. Generally I let girls lead because I like being with good dancers, as a beginner you should too. But as you get better and learn the world of grinding, you learn some moves of your own and you can simply through your body language do your own moves and the girl will try to follow you. I do this for girls that can't dance well as leader. So in other words, make sure your dick stays between her cheeks at all times while she moves by following her rhythm and movement.
If you need any more help let me know. I'm bored waiting for a job fair so I had time to type this.
Seriously I HATE grinding. For real can I please go out and dance without having some random genital rubbing against my ass? I find the whole act to be presumptuous and in poor taste, but that's just me.. and about all my friends, but you know I'm sure there are those girls who enjoy the random primitive dancing ritual. My best advice is that if you are not a stellar dancer or not confident in your dance floor game, wait it out until she needs a drink or needs to sit and rest her feet. Believe me, it happens sooner rather than later.
A few weekends ago I was "picked up" by this guy and I thought his approach was genius. So I'm going all out on the dance floor when the pain from my stilletos kicks in and I need to sit and rest my tosies. As I exit the dance floor, this guy came up to me and lightly touches my hand to get my attention and then points to a bench where he had been sitting and there was space enough for the both of us to sit. He was cute, so I followed and sat. He then straight up told me that he was watching me dance and that I was a great dancer and he would have loved to dance with me but he sucks at it himself. From there we had a nice conversation. I thought it was a very respectful approach and I was receptive to it and I am really hard to win over.
Long story short, if you think you might come off a fool by "keeping your penis between her ass cheeks at all times" and doing more harm than good, stick to gaming off the dance floor
I'd say grinding is the bare-minimum a guy needs to survive on the dance floor. Some girls don't like it... some girls REALLY don't like it, but only if you don't talk to them first. Other girls are cool with it and do it a lot. A lot of it depends on the kind of venue you're in and the kind of girl she is. As a general principle, I always talk to a girl first before grinding up on her. Only times I won't bother talking to her first is if she's just eye-fucking me like there's no tomorrow.
I used to grind a lot, but after spending a lot of time in Europe and S. America, I've been forced to develop... well... actual dance moves, lol. I've noticed that 90% of people in the US don't actually have any idea how to dance, they just kind of rub their crotches against one another to a beat. Still do it sometimes though, depending on the situation.
To me dancing is just part of the overall escalation...
youregettingitwrong Wrote:Seriously I HATE grinding. For real can I please go out and dance without having some random genital rubbing against my ass? I find the whole act to be presumptuous and in poor taste, but that's just me.. and about all my friends, but you know I'm sure there are those girls who enjoy the random primitive dancing ritual. My best advice is that if you are not a stellar dancer or not confident in your dance floor game, wait it out until she needs a drink or needs to sit and rest her feet. Believe me, it happens sooner rather than later.
A few weekends ago I was "picked up" by this guy and I thought his approach was genius. So I'm going all out on the dance floor when the pain from my stilletos kicks in and I need to sit and rest my tosies. As I exit the dance floor, this guy came up to me and lightly touches my hand to get my attention and then points to a bench where he had been sitting and there was space enough for the both of us to sit. He was cute, so I followed and sat. He then straight up told me that he was watching me dance and that I was a great dancer and he would have loved to dance with me but he sucks at it himself. From there we had a nice conversation. I thought it was a very respectful approach and I was receptive to it and I am really hard to win over.
Long story short, if you think you might come off a fool by "keeping your penis between her ass cheeks at all times" and doing more harm than good, stick to gaming off the dance floor
The Power of Vulnerability
I generally hang out in the soul clubs now and with the mod squad kids so straight up grinding is generally sorta frowned upon in those circles lol. I'm no b-boy or anything but my dancing is good enough these days where I don't need to jump straight to the dick to ass action. I was actually at a bar in Downtown LA last weekend for a friends birthday when I saw a girl get down on all fours to grind and I was like YO! I haven't seen that since 8th grade Sadie Hawkins!
Yeah grinding is very amusing for most people not from the US. We do have it in New Zealand, it's just not so... apparent. I remember the first time I encountered it properly. I was in London, and had met this really cute American girl in the hostel I was at. A group of us went out to a club, and I was sort of flirting with her but I didn't know how she felt. We got separated from the group somehow, and I just started dancing awkwardly in the kind of way I would usually with a stranger. Then something happened and she was ALL OVER ME, in a way I had never experienced before. I had no idea what to do, so I just ran with it, but it was so unexpected and I was so nervous that I got hard for a second and then immediately lost it. We ended up kissing in a discrete place a few minutes later, but I've never forgotten how WTF that moment was for me. Especially because she was this very sweet, innocent-looking, Ivy League grad teacher from Arkansas. Shattered my reality.
Yup... I actually had the opposite experience when I was in New Zealand years ago. My friend and I met some cute Kiwi girls, went to a bar with them. They started dancing, so I did what any normal 21-year-old American guy would do: I started grinding up on her... She freaked out and was like "No, we don't do that here." Sure enough, I looked around and everyone on the dance floor was dancing at least arm's length apart from each other. lol
Unfortunately, I did not hook up with her as I didn't really have any idea what I was doing back then.
Mark Wrote:I did what any normal 21-year-old American guy would do: I started grinding up on her...
Yep, and unfair as it may be, that's why American guys get a reputation as sleazy, and American girls as slutty.
Mark Wrote:She freaked out and was like "No, we don't do that here."
Ahaha classic Kiwi response. No need for subtleties, tell it like it is.
American girl: *Walks away like she's TC*, says to friend: "ew, he was such a skeaze'.
Kiwi girl: 'That's not how things are done here'
Now we're on the topic; when will you be back here huh? The woman are as easy as ever:
http://www.stuff.co.nz/life-style/22444/...-the-world
Quote:Yep, and unfair as it may be, that's why American guys get a reputation as sleazy, and American girls as slutty.
I wouldn't say it's totally unfair. Haha...
As much as I loved NZ, you're not exactly the most convenient country in the world to get to... And not to be obnoxious or anything, but finding women easy has not been a problem lately.
Yeah but it took you how many years to get to this point? Over here you only need to follow Woody Allen's advice and just show up
Well I guess you'll just have to come for the beautiful country and not the beautiful women. And of all people to pull the 'it's too far away' card... Unbelievable. You must have traveled the equivalent of the US to NZ 50 times over in your life! Imagine what it's like for me; almost every trip I've ever made has required crossing the equator! I'm so used to it that when I flew to London, which is almost literally on the opposite side of the globe, I was glad to get there in a day.
Psshaw. You Yanks.
Also, apologies to Future for jacking your thread.
To get back to that, it depends on the demographics of the girls you're into as to whether you even need any dancing ability beyond being able to not look awkward and grind if a girl is into it. It's unlikely to ever kill your chances with a girl, and it's also unlikely to completely make them. It could help if you want to catch a girl's eye when you're out on the dancefloor. I remember when I went to this Love Systems bootcamp in Vegas (for which I paid the unreasonable kind of money that makes Mark unable to sleep at night) and I was out with this intern from the company. He used to be in a dance crew back in the day, and he busted out his moves in the middle of the club XS. There was this huge crowd in a circle around him, and you could see a lot of girls were seriously attracted from that alone.
But he was very, very good, and that's not a reality for most guys. Plus the rest of his game sucked.
It's also a nice thing to be able to do with a girl, that most guys won't know how to or have the courage to:
http://postmasculine.com/romance
But unless you're interested in dance beyond just meeting women I think you should follow Mark's advice about just seeing it as another step in physical escalation, and not see it as something separate called 'dancefloor game'. That just makes me think of Dance Dance Revolution. Although if you WERE looking for advice on that, then I think these guys:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0gh6hzs_7Kc might help you out more than Mark.
youregettingitwrong Wrote:Seriously I HATE grinding. For real can I please go out and dance without having some random genital rubbing against my ass? I find the whole act to be presumptuous and in poor taste, but that's just me.. and about all my friends, but you know I'm sure there are those girls who enjoy the random primitive dancing ritual. My best advice is that if you are not a stellar dancer or not confident in your dance floor game, wait it out until she needs a drink or needs to sit and rest her feet. Believe me, it happens sooner rather than later.
Ok, first of all she's right. I don't know how many girls would actually like that grinding but, unless she's both already pretty attracted to you and excited I would go with no so many... and they will make their opinion clear from the start either by just not dancing with you or by introducing the proper distance themselves. Honestly is really uncomfortable to have someone you're not attracted to come close to you dancing, is not just for girls, I hate it too. Usually there's a progression from far to close distance that happens naturally (either going from salsa dance to bachata) or just progressively reducing the distance in other kinds of dance.
About improving your dance game is actually kind of a paradox in itself. I would say you don't really need to "learn" salsa or any other dance but mostly the general rules of rithym and a little body language... but not being too good. Most of the girls I dance outside the salsa scene usually feel awkward and very self-conscious when I dance with them and just want the dance to end because in comparison they look like the don't dance so well. Most people (including chicks, even if they can fake it easily with some sensual moves) do not know how to dance and you only get the impression they do if you also don't know how to dance, so when the abilities are too far apart it becomes a little uncomfortable (it happens to me also when I'm dancing with someone who is much better than I am... all the sudden my moves seems clumsy in comparison, you become self-conscious and as a result your movements get clumsier and so on)...
A lot of guys think dancing great will serve you the girls in a silver plate but believe me, inside the demographic it might help... if you're one of the best in the venue it will rock... but outside it doesn't make any difference and sometimes trying to "use" it to get girls can even harm your possibilities, either because she feels really uncomfortable with the situation and projects that in you or because she interprets it as you showing off.
In fact, what works for me much better is to use it as an opener... if I see a girl that dances fine I can just approach her and say: "you dance, right?" ... then it doesn't matter where it goes, if she actually know how to dance is a perfect cold read and you can relate, if she doesn't then you can compliment her and, since I do dance the compliment really adds value to her... and you have a conversation about salsa or whatever (they're always interested on hearing it).
Where I'm from (DC, Maryland, Delaware area) grinding is the main thing at parties, it's pretty much our main party culture. Grew up with it. Its not only expected but encouraged to anonymously walk up to a girl and just dance with her on the spot without having to know her. Parties are less social verbally and more physical.
And of course that means that most girls in the area know how to grind well. Its fun
The otherside of the coin is that its almost impossible to talk to good quality girls at these parties since its pretty dark and the theme makes it hard to stand out and/or believe that you want to do anything other then just fuck her and leave, which makes sense since a smart girl wouldn't try to get to know or trust someone she can't see (very dark)
I want to go to more social parties that I see in movies since being social is fun.
The last time I broke out my blazing moves on the dance floor, a cougar hit on me. :-)
tim, no worries about jacking the thread. this is a really interesting conversation going on here!
grinding does seem to be u.s. thing. when i toured western europe, grinding was basically non-existent at the clubs i went to. girls did not mind that i moved into their personal space but the whole grinding thing didn't fly there.