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I've honestly been finding this so hard to believe. I mean I know women LOVE sex, they fucking do. But to say AS MUCH as men, where we stare down girls and consciously think of things to do to her all the time, talking about it with friends, talking about things we would do, talking to girls while just thinking about hammering her right there without even knowing her, It makes it hard to believe.

Plus the fact that they don't show it as much. Ok, I have female friends who tell me how they wanna fuck this guy or do that guy. Yet, I'm sure the majority of the time if a sexy guy (who they find sexy) just walked up to them and said do you wanna go, they wouldn't do it. And it's not like "oh, I WANT to fuck him right here right now but I don't want to appear like a slut or I don't know him enough", it's just... no. You can see it visibly in their body language. I'm sure the opposite effect would happen with men.

It's like, I understand the argument that girls have more to be careful for with sex regarding pregnancy, greater chance of STD's, feeling like a hoe. But even with these, I don't think it's that they're HIDING their sexuality, especially in situations where they are CLOSE FRIENDS with attractive males, yes the girls would and want to do them, but the guys care for it MORE than she does.

I think it's simply that, women don't care for it it AS MUCH as we do. In my mind, I feel as if you have to court/seduce their mind INTO a mindset of physically wanting it as much as men first before they show signs that they do, through proving you're a great guy first and establishing somewhat of a connection. But even then, it doesn't seem to really prove that they will think about it AS MUCH as we do.

I'm assuming you guys may have arguments that may prove me wrong (which I want), but I would like to hear them. It will better me.

Women definitely enjoy sex as much if not more than men. It always seems like when I'm having a great experience, she is having a mind blowing one. There's a reason every cover of Cosmo has something about sex on it.

No, that's bullshit. In my experience women want/enjoy sex a more than men, not as much, MORE!

I think the difference is in perception. Women do enjoy sex a lot, and they want it FUCKING all the time (as long as it's good)... sometimes they want it more than I do, to be honest, BUT... not with anyone (generally speaking). So basically you, as a guy, are walking the street and you see 5 or 6 women that you'd like to have sex with... the girls might see 5 or 6 guys that they'll have sex with BUT they acknowledge it and move on... the thought does not stick.

I think that's because they're smarter than we are. They're pessimists, they know there's a good change that first time would suck, or at least not be as good as you can imagine. Guys are optimist, we see a hot chick and assume fucking her would be incredible amazing (I've found it to be completely random and had nothing to do with hotness or appearance).

But once you're in some kind of stable thing (be it fuck buddies or an actual relationship) and assuming the sex is good, she will fucking rape you almost any time she has the chance.

Women enjoy good sex more than men do. Women also badly want good sex, at least if their sexuality is "awakened". But their desire is triggered differently. It's more complex.

Men's sexual desire is for a large part triggered by seeing women. Boobs. Ass. Legs. A sexy belly. Sexy eyes and full lips. Anything beautiful and hot and our mind goes "I want my penis inside of that female!!111". Because seeing women is something that occurs rather frequently, we think about and want sex all the time.

Women are not so visually oriented. Women do not want to have sex with random men (although a fantasy of having sex with a random/unknown/mysterious man is pretty common. But female sexuality is full of paradoxes. ). Sexual desire is triggered in women by things like anticipation, sexual tension, sexual teasing, being touched in the right ways, being talked to in the right ways... Also, one thing that boosts women's sex drive like nothing else, is having good sex!

That's what I mean with "at least if their sexuality is 'awakened'". If a girl has never been stimulated properly, if she's never gotten to experience the extent to which she can feel pleasure and she can be aroused, then there's a chance she doesn't know herself how much she likes sex. And if men go without any sexual stimulation for a while, the sex drive gets stronger. If women go without any sexual stimulation for a while, the sex drive goes away. Even if they had and desired great sex before, after a while of no sex at all, the sex drive goes to sleep and they appear not to like sex as much anymore. (Although this doesn't apply to all women, because some women go crazy with sexual frustration when they have a dry spell.)

Also, for women, trust, respect, feeling safe (both physically and emotionally) are far more necessary for the sexual desire to come to the surface than they are for men.

And I DO believe women hide their sexuality, even to close male friends. Hell, even to themselves. I have some women in my life who I discuss anything with, and I'm endlessly fascinated with the fact that the longer I know them, the deeper it goes. Every girl I've gotten to know on a deep level the last year (and most of these girls are very sweet, "good" girls), turned out to be quite "dirty" by most people's standards. You would never guess they wanted the things they do from looking at them. Often I was the first person they ever shared those things with. And even more interestingly, often they discovered those preferences or fantasies while I knew them. Their sexuality got deeper and broader as they became aware of it and opened themselves up to it.

So female sexuality is not weaker. It is just different from male sexuality. Men simply need to see a woman to become sexually aroused, and women need more and different kinds of stimulation before they become sexually aroused.

(I must say... I do believe some women have (permanently) low sex drives. Some may be born with naturally low sex drives. But more likely in my opinion, they may be permanently damaged by harmful views. But those women are a very small minority in my experience. I don't know any, I think.)

---

Speaking of women being dirty little pervs... 50 Shades of Grey is selling insanely, ridiculously well right now. After reading some reviews I believe it's a badly written book with unbelievable characters who have frequent rough, BDSM-ish sex. And EVERYBODY reads this. Teenage girls. Christian housewives. They write reviews like "Although the sex scenes can get extreme, I think it just helps the storyline!" Come on! You girls get off on the sex. Admit it already.

Check out Amazon's Top 100 Books if you don't believe me... http://www.amazon.com/best-sellers-books..._dp_ts_b_1

Hmm... I like what you guys are saying! Especially Halo Effect's response. So basically, women DO want/enjoy sex more than men, but the way in which it comes out is almost only through pure psychological means, they need more than just a sexy body. They see a guy they may be attracted to/find sexy, but they don't just instantly desire having sex with him because they are not psychologically stimulated yet, combined with the uncertainty if he's gonna be good (Which I guess knowing how to stimulate her psychologically would cure), combined with the trust/respect/security thing. Whereas guys, since we are mostly stimulated by physical traits, we will be ready to do it at the drop of a hat, if that's how the expression goes.

So what about when a girl DOES just see a guy with an sexy body/swag and you hear her going on and on about this hot sexy guy she wants to fuck? Or those times where a girl is simply staring them down? What's going through her head and body then? He didn't say anything to her yet to stimulate her mind. Is it that his sexiness is giving IMPLICATIONS of psychological traits?

It's almost to the point of complete illogical randomness which doesn't make sense to me. Ok, I have a male friend with a very nice body, dresses really well. He's a good looking guy. And there are random times where girls will stare at him or basically be like how a guy would to a sexy girl walking by, whispering to each other, smiling, etc. Yet, mostly there are times where he will walk by a group of girls (I sometimes pay attention to experiment), and they look at him, and pay no mind, going back to what they were doing. Or if he's talking to girls for the first time, they treat him just like any other person, sometimes annoyed, as if looks weren't even a factor.

What's up with this? How come randomly girls will act like a guy does with a pretty girl towards him sexual-wise just by looking at him? I'm guessing the conclusion to this comes down to the type of girl/preference/selection? It's just seems like their sexuality is almost completely random and incomprehensible at times.

In all fairness, I don't buy it.

At least the part about women wanting sex just as much as men.

Most women can get sex anytime they want, yet they often do not do this. Why? Because they do not have the same intense, biological drive for sex that men have.
Men on the other hand, are willing to risk jail and std's and will often pay for sex because they want it that much.
The only men who rely seem to deny sex are those who have options and are getting laid consistently.

Now as far as enjoying sex, I am pretty sure that women enjoy sex just as much or more than guys. But enjoying something and wanting something are two different things.

Quote:Most women can get sex anytime they want, yet they often do not do this. Why?
The only men who rely seem to deny sex are those who have options and are getting laid consistently.

Do you see a correlation there?

Quote:At least the part about women wanting sex just as much as men.

Most women can get sex anytime they want, yet they often do not do this. Why?

You're definitely right that women don't want sex with as many people as men do. Men want sex more often, with more people. There are a lot more requirements to be met before a woman wants sex. I guess what we are talking about in this thread is: once you meet those requirements, once she is stimulated the right ways, how badly does she want sex then? Again, all a man needs to want sex is to see a hot girl. Things get way more complicated for girls. I'm asking some girls these questions right now btw, I'll report back with their answers.

(06-21-2012 08:23 AM)Creatine Dreams Wrote: [ -> ]Most women can get sex anytime they want, yet they often do not do this. Why? Because they do not have the same intense, biological drive for sex that men have.

I've also started to realize that there's a secondary reason for this.

99% of women will never approach a man. They will always only get to choose from the men who approach them.

We already know how well that works for males.

Yes, they will get approached more often, but they choose partners from a far more limited subset than any man who is approaching fearlessly and often.

(06-21-2012 10:52 AM)Chaos Wrote: [ -> ]

Quote:Most women can get sex anytime they want, yet they often do not do this. Why?
The only men who rely seem to deny sex are those who have options and are getting laid consistently.

Do you see a correlation there?

I do see the correlation. But there is a caveat. A lot of girls will go for weeks or months without sex because they have not found a suitable dude for themselves. Guys are willing to lower their usual standards significantly in order to get laid if they have not gotten any.

Alright, asked two girls about this. It's pretty close to what we already wrote in this thread. Maybe I can ask one or two more in the next few days.

What they said:

Girl 1:
Me: When men see a beautiful woman, they're attracted to her and usually would like sex with her. What if you see a hot/attractive man? I bet you often see attractive men. Do you want sex with them then? Why or why not? If not sex, what do you want then?
Girl: Pff, I'm a bad one to ask. I don't just like any guy. I think it depends on my mood. But I'd mostly want to do romantic stuff. Like kiss and cuddle. If I meet a really fucking hot guy I'd want sex.
Me: What makes a man really fucking hot?
G: For me: charisma. A challenging look, dark hair and clothing. Tough. Like a dude on a big bike. But that's my preference. My friends have different tastes.
Me: So you're attracted to that bad boy type. How often do you see a guy like that?
G: Not many times a year. But I don't hang out in the right environments. You rarely see a student like that.
Me: What happened the last times you saw a guy like that?
G: Don't remember, probably stared at him with a challenging look.
Me: Ever had sex with a guy like that?
G: I never had random sex. Only relationships and friends with benefits.
Me: If you feel that attraction for a guy like that, then why not have sex with him? He'd be up for it if you offered.
G: Because something like this happens in passing. I won't sit next to him by chance or run into a guy like that when going out.
Me: What if that sexually attractive dream guy came up to you in public and said that he wanted to have sex with you, would you do it?
G: I wouldn't do it if he approached me like that. I'd be careful. He might not be trustworthy. I would need to feel comfortable first. It's important to be careful. As a woman you're also more vulnerable.
Me: What do you need to be careful about. In what way would he not be trustworthy?
G: He might abuse me, rape me if I go with him, etc. Depends on his age too. I like bigger guys, have to be extra careful.
Me: What do you think of the statement: "Women desire sex as much as men do"?
G: There have been plenty of studies on that. (She's a psych student, damnit.) I don't know. I think women have a bigger romantic need, also during sex.
Me: A need for emotional and psychological stimulation.
G: Yes.
Me: But if someone says: "Women don't desire sex. They could have sex with anyone, but they don't do that at all. So clearly they don't want sex that badly." What do you say?
G: Eh, I think women definitely want sex. But there needs to be a kind of safety before they actually have sex.
Me: So you can desire sex, be horny, but you don't have sex because you don't have that connection with anyone.
G: I think so. But it's a different story when you're drunk. For a woman the reputation also plays a big part. The idea that her reputation could be hurt plays a part in the decision whether to have sex or not.
Me: Does it for you?
G: In my social circle it does.
Me: Yeah makes sense. I'd consider it too. But you're judged more harshly as a girl.
G: Yeah. The double standard. And since humans are social creatures and it's a primal instinct to want to be a part of the group to survive... that weighs heavily.

Girl 2:
Me: Asked same question again.
G: Wow, tough question. When I see an incredibly attractive man I don't fantasize about sex right away. I do fantasize about getting to know him. That we have contact and that he "sees" me/appreciates me/considers me worthy (no direct translation). Eventually sex would be a desire. But not necessarily, because sex with attractive men is not necessarily good, good sex is more psychological. There are men who are not very attractive, but who are sexy, or have a certain factor... But with... really attractive guys that women like... I wouldn't think about sex right away with a guy like that. [One factor that can turn her on is a man's voice. She mentions a particular actor's voice.]
Me: What if a guy is not necessarily beautiful but very sexy, he has that factor, does that change your answer?
G: I think so. It would differ per woman what she would consider sexy. One woman likes a beard, another spikey hair, I like that voice.
Me: Does it ever happen that you meet someone in real life who is that sexy and that you instantly desire sex with him?
G: Hmm sometimes. Not often. My fantasies are usually about men/women I know already.
Me: Can you remember a time it did happen?
G: I was dancing in a club and made eye contact with him. But how he talked to me was stupid.. [Explains the guy didn't like she was from Holland. I think he basically insulted her.] My wet dream shattered right then.
Me: Imagine he wasn't stupid like that and approached you with: I think you're hot. I want sex with you. Would you do it?
G: I'd be shy, but I'd do it eventually. But he wasn't very good looking. He had something... Same goes for [some other guy she had strong attraction to].
Me: Was it something in his behavior? Can you describe it?
G: An attitude, often, yes... Very sure of himself. A look in his eyes. A little bad/naughty or something.
Me: "Women want sex as badly as men do" What would you say about that?
G: Yes, women do. [Says something about women having sexual shame, that we talked about recently.] A woman wouldn't just be open about her sexuality. But women think about sex a lot. But maybe in a different way from men.
Me: Different in what way?
G: I don't think quickly: I would want sex with him. But if I have a good guy to have sex with I'm hornier. I must say I do think about sex a lot. My friends are prudes. [Says she can't talk about sex with her friends, she talks about a forum she frequents where she can talk about sex, and then the conversation went off topic.]

So women do want as much sex as guys, but they have barriers that keep them from actually going for it as much as guys.

Barriers including psychological stimulation, trust, and respect. Psychological is the most important one... Since women seemingly do not get the simple urge to have sex based off looks alone. Because looks alone will not get the job done. Women get sexually aroused mainly by psychological methods. Any supposed arousal from looks alone is her filling in the blanks with what she desires psychologically.

So when a girl does go "crazy" over a guy with good looks, she's basically FANTASIZING the POSSIBILITY that he actually has a great and attractive personality. Which may be why they're more open sometimes to interaction than if the guy wasn't good looking.

Looks don't mean shit on their own, they just grease the entire process... as is said on this website.

So hypothetically, if we were in world where guys could somehow ooze psychological stimulation, trust, and respect without having to say a word. Girls would act the same as guys.

This is what I have in my head so far.

---

Oh and take away the issue of reputation in the hypothetical world too.

My personal experience pretty much goes in sync with most of what has been mentioned:

1. When in a relationship that is going strong emotionally women want as much, if not more frequent sex than I. I'm satisfied with once or twice a day, the women I've been with wanted intercourse 3-4 times when there are no time constraints involved. Thats how it is when they are really into you. If you somehow stumbled into a relationship because she needed a boyfriend and you needed a steady sex partner the frequency quickly changes to 1-2 per week. And that is all she wants/needs then, still enough though right? All the women I have been with have become hornier through actually having sex. Now obviously I'd like to think I'm a total stud but it's more likely their appetite just got wetted. Not trying to be crude but you sort of poked around down there got the blood flowing and now she's feeling it.

2. Womens masturbation frequency is lower. I'm going by numbers that people have told me, so feel free to question their accuracy. Guys (in their prime) roughly feel an urge to masturbate 6-7 times in a regular working week. For women that is less. In their 20s they maybe masturbate twice a week (unless they lie to me!). In my own dealings with women I've actually found it's true that women become more sexual desiring (or hornier) as they move from early twenties into their thirties. Whatever the reason for that might be it's been said before. On a whole though their urge to release themselves is lower. That's probably down to ejaculating no?

3. I think guys actually misinterpret their feelings of finding someone attractive with wanting to have sex with them. I see attractive women and girls all the time but I don't want to have sex with them. Sure I enjoy looking at a nice chest or a perfect ass or legs but if offered sex on the spot I'm 100% sure I'd 99,9% of the time say hold on, slow down. If they are below a certain age it's definitely no, never. I feel there's a difference between finding someone hot and maybe wondering about how they might be in bed and actually wanting sex with them. Hence guys vastly overstate how much they want to have sex. Just listen to a bunch of teenage boys talking amongst each other about how much they want to fuck her her and her even though they've never done it before. Overstating one owns sexual prowess is just something we guys do. If I'm dead honest with myself it takes more than a nice ass or face to make me want to fuck. She needs to flirt with me, give me the eyes, show signs of being turned on and interested and be attractive aside from the looks (mind, scent, voice, bodylanguage all that). And honestly, if you see women and they're not even looking at you and you feel an urge to fuck them... you need to check yourself. Could be you're heading towards sexual preditory behaviour. Just saying...

4. Very few women are sexually aggressive beings. They just prefer guys to come to them and initiate, especially in the very beginning of a relationship. Same goes for the initial approach. This is how the world works. It's a need of their you have to appreciate and meet. Some women just prefer being passive during sex, that doesn't mean they don't have any libido either. It's just their personal expression of their libido.

5. How much a woman enjoys sex is more down to how in touch she with her own sexuality than you. Yes you can help them discover their sexuality. That's really what being a great lover is rather than rubbing here and squeezing there. Getting them comfortable and confident in expressing what they want to do and need/want from you. Thankfully I think there's been some change here over time, women my generation definititely seem to enjoy sex a lot more than my mothers did.

Finally before this gets too long... a big difference between men and women's sexuality is that women don't need to have sex for their egos sake. We guys do. We feel ashamed/flawed/unhappy/unmanly when we're not having sex. Its the driving force behind the pickup industry. Guys don't want to get better with women because they want to connect and cuddle. It's so they can finally get that area of their life handled and get laid. I'm not a man if I'm not getting laid. Strictly speaking I don't feel that ego need is really part of a man's sexuality. It's an emotional need. I won't argue though that it can be easily met/satisfied through something other than sex. It's our animalistic programing speaking to us and clapping us on the shoulder if we engage in activity to procreate. Still, feeling I need to get laid to be a man is not my sexuality expression myself.

Anyway... I could go on about this all day. If the women you are encountering aren't sexual it's up to you to become more sexy. Straight up. Be sexy. I'm toying with the idea of starting a "be sexy" thread. Remember that pic of mans sexuality being a singular flip switch and a womans an entire switching board with 15 buttons and 10 knobs? That's how it is, but you don't have to be pressing all of them at once. By being sexy you're already pushing multiple buttons.

Edit: Sexyback, you make some absolutely great points. I agree with all of it. Even 3, although I must say an amazing body (have you ever gone to the gym in Colombia? You should try it. Jesus Christ.) triggers very strong, naughty feelings inside of me, lol.

This below was written in response to Thenewguy.

I think you're mostly right. But looks do have some merit on their own. But it's not nearly the same as it is the other way around. Women do get turned on by looks sometimes (women's tastes are also far more varied than men's. One women can get turned on by a biker guy, another by a rocker guy, another by a hipster guy... It's all over the map), and it can ease the whole process of "seducing" her, but looks are absolutely not sufficient by themself.

Visual arousal is also influenced by the psychological and emotional aspects. For example, a woman may not be that (physically) attracted to a man when first meeting him, but after dating him for a while, she swears he's attractive, and she means it. A less politically correct example: if you barely know a girl and you send her a picture of your dick, expect her to be turned off, creeped out, and disgusted. But if you have given a girl amazing sex for some time, while having a great connection with her, and send her a picture of your dick... She just might drool all over it.

Also, trust and respect are important, but they're not all-important. Many women get wet for bad boys, and they know they're bad for them, but the bad boys push all the right buttons (emotional and psychological stimulation, and possibly the implied promise of hot, rough, steamy sex), so they might go after them even in spite of knowing that they will probably get hurt. But I guess self-esteem and preferences also play a part here. Women are complicated, GOSH.

@Halo Effect:
Wow! The girls you talked to really impress me. They both seem to be very intelligent, and in a way that they not only know themselves well and how their own psyche works but also how other people's minds work. Okay, maybe one can kind of expect that from a psychology student ;-)

One thing we also have to keep in mind, that sex drive varies from person to person. Some people just need or want sex not as often as others. So we should be a bit careful about generalizing from a single case where a girl wanted it more or less than us to how much women in general need sex. But I think, the first girl in your post hit the nail right on the head. Women want sex as much as men, but their sexuality works different and feelings of safety, intimacy, etc. play a much bigger role for them. That's why most won't hop into bed even with a man they are totally attracted to, if they don't now him at all.

(06-21-2012 11:34 PM)Creatine Dreams Wrote: [ -> ]

(06-21-2012 10:52 AM)Chaos Wrote: [ -> ]

Quote:Most women can get sex anytime they want, yet they often do not do this. Why?
The only men who rely seem to deny sex are those who have options and are getting laid consistently.

Do you see a correlation there?

I do see the correlation. But there is a caveat. A lot of girls will go for weeks or months without sex because they have not found a suitable dude for themselves. Guys are willing to lower their usual standards significantly in order to get laid if they have not gotten any.

Bullshit. I've gone 1 yr 2 mos w/o p-in-v sex because I have been, primarily, in a stage of massive transition in my life, but 2* because I refuse to "go slummin'" or "jump on the grenade" or, really, put myself in a situation where I will wake up with the taste of shame and poor choices in my mouth. So, again, bullshit. But that's me, I can't speak for everyone. Maybe, not everyone has standards.

(06-22-2012 04:48 AM)Halo Effect Wrote: [ -> ]G: Eh, I think women definitely want sex. But there needs to be a kind of safety before they actually have sex.

That's all you guys need to know. It's nothing new. They both essentially said the same thing, but the first girl mentioned it TWICE.

I remember hearing an episode of This American Life where a FTM transsexual talked about starting to take testosterone. He said he thought he had a high sex drive before, but the difference is that before testosterone, it was like he would see an attractive woman and think. "She's pretty, I'd like to take her out sometime" whereas after taking testosterone, he'd see a hot woman and a porno movie would start playing in his head.

Edit:

Found it:

Quote:The most overwhelming feeling is the incredible increase in libido and change in the way that I perceived women and the way I thought about sex. Before testosterone, I would be riding the subway, which is the traditional hotbed of lust in the city. And I would see a woman on the subway, and I would think, she's attractive. I'd like to meet her. What's that book she's reading? I could talk to her. This is what I would say.

There would be a narrative. There would be this stream of language. It would be very verbal.

After testosterone, there was no narrative. There was no language whatsoever. It was just, I would see a woman who was attractive or not attractive. She might have an attractive quality, nice ankles or something, and the rest of her would be fairly unappealing to me.

But that was enough to basically just flood my mind with aggressive, pornographic images, just one after another. It was like being in a pornographic movie house in my mind. And I couldn't turn it off. I could not turn it off. Everything I looked at, everything I touched, turned to sex.

http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-ar...transcript

(06-22-2012 05:13 AM)Thenewguy Wrote: [ -> ]So women do want as much sex as guys, but they have barriers that keep them from actually going for it as much as guys.

Barriers including psychological stimulation, trust, and respect. Psychological is the most important one... Since women seemingly do not get the simple urge to have sex based off looks alone. Because looks alone will not get the job done. Women get sexually aroused mainly by psychological methods. Any supposed arousal from looks alone is her filling in the blanks with what she desires psychologically.

So when a girl does go "crazy" over a guy with good looks, she's basically FANTASIZING the POSSIBILITY that he actually has a great and attractive personality. Which may be why they're more open sometimes to interaction than if the guy wasn't good looking.

Looks don't mean shit on their own, they just grease the entire process... as is said on this website.

So hypothetically, if we were in world where guys could somehow ooze psychological stimulation, trust, and respect without having to say a word. Girls would act the same as guys.

This is what I have in my head so far.

---

Oh and take away the issue of reputation in the hypothetical world too.

As I've said elsewhere, patriarchy creates bullshit barriers to fucking. As such, women are denied the permission to fully express their sexuality, lest they be looked down upon in the eyes of society. The solution, as described by noted feminist author Tyler Durden, is to do it on the down-low as part of what he termed "the Secret Society" (take with a large grain of salt).

Remember that one of the biggest selling books in the world last year was (crap) bondage porn.

Verity! Girls principally abhor cunnilinctus.



Why am I talking like this lately? What is going on?

Your going sane.

Girls love sex even more than men.
But society makes them hide it...

I've had my high sex drive phases but as mentioned, I want good sex and sex with random strangers generally isn't good.

I'm very visual and I stare at good-looking guys all the time. Imagining myself having sex with them happens on occasion but it's just a fantasy. I do masturbate frequently, say once a day at least but I don't think of random guys - I'll think of past experiences or imagined scenarios with guys I know (who aren't fucking me.)

"Also, for women, trust, respect, feeling safe (both physically and emotionally) are far more necessary for the sexual desire to come to the surface than they are for men."

For me this is totally true. Trusting the guy, feeling safe and respected are mandatory for having sex. There have been cases where there was great chemistry with a good-looking guy but I didn't feel safe so the strong desire to fuck just wasn't there. One night stands do not appeal to me but I have the biggest fondness for friends-with-benefits relationships.

Good news is there are plenty of ways to make someone feel comfortable around you.

Starting with your own comfort in regard to sexuality, intimacy - both physical and emotional.