Postmasculine.com Forum

Hey guys. I thought it be a fun thread if we'd all post our most embarrassing moments that make us laugh when we look back on them. I was just thinking back to something that happened to me a week ago that was pretty embarrassing, but now it's pretty damn funny.

It was a regular, routine morning. I had just signed in to the library and was headed to an open computer. I sat down and logged on. This guy I know that makes his rounds every morning makes it to where I am. And being the spontaneous guy he is, he sees a tape dispenser and starts talking about how tape could be used to kill someone.

I, being in a humorous mood, decided to entertain his thoughts. So I just replied that tape wouldn't be able to resist the tension if pulled against someone's throat. I suggested that duct tape would be a much better choice.

All of a sudden, I notice someone sit down in the chair next to me. I hadn't gotten the chance to see who. It was a girl that I had seen recently and thought was pretty cute. Anyway, the once-humorous conversation starts taking a painful turn. He starts talking about knifes, stabbing, the Black Dahlia, and more.

The girl next to me turns to us and quickly looks away. I was like, "Holy crap!"


- My face at that moment. "Yeah?! Knives?! Great!!"

I try to subtly change the topic. Of course I couldn't start a conversation about dogs and talk about cats a few moments later. So I tried to talk about the least relevant topic I could think of. I changed the subject to American Psycho. I tried to casually remark on how Christian Bale did an excellent job. It was too late. Both feet were knee-deep in my mouth. The girl eventually left, most likely a little scarred.

I was ambivalent. I was so embarrassed but I couldn't stop laughing at myself. It was a smile met with a facepalm.

Share your stories, guys! I hope at least mine made you chuckle a little. These kinds of threads can be very entertaining, so I hope it gets some momentum.

Well this was definitely embarrassing: http://postmasculine.com/forum/Thread-Mi...sing-story

but I have a couple more that follow in that trend of my game turning to absolute shit when I'm very drunk.

Basically my attempts to flirt just become... mean. So once I was at this party, and I barely knew anyone there. I was feeling a bit self-conscious, so I decided to drink more than I really should have. Then I see this girl I want to hit on. I decide to try reversing the situation of me not knowing anyone to pretend that she didn't know anyone. In my head I'm thinking I'll say something witty like 'oh, you just thought you could sneak in here because of that cute face huh?'.

Instead...

I walk straight up to her, and shove my hand against the wall beside her leaning into her and using the hand to hold myself up. Then I (very aggressively) say 'you don't know anyone here, do you?!'.

Luckily for us both her friend comes over and rescues her from me. She then comes back and tells me 'she has a boyfriend you know'.

Classy.

Hahahaha, that's pretty funny. It seems like it came off more like you angrily realized she knew nobody. I read your first post before. I thought the comment was hilarious. Lol, "rape dungeon." That's a classic.

Alright my most embarassing moment so far...

It was what americans would call "prom night". The last big party event before leaving school, you know. Well my goal for that evening was to tell the girl I was in love for 6 years that I had a crush on her and to let her know how she had affected my life, you know. Just wanted to make peace with this story...

So It was late evening, I was walking towards her, was about a metre in front of her and as I opened my mouth to say my first words, a waiter came by and jostled me unintentionally from behind and he spilled six glasses of beer over me. I was totally wed and shocked like hell. I was so ashamed and just thought: Oh, no...This CAN'T be real, this must be fu**** movie...

But it was real. Real life, real situation. There was no one yelling "CUT" or an alarm clock,which would have released me from this nightmare.

Me, from hero to zero in less then a second. My expensive cinque suit that fit perfectly, ruined....(at least for the evening) and everyone looked.

It was really, really bad. On top of that my father came to dry my suit with a handkerchief and rubbed of course my crotch area first unaware of the situation... In front of the girl I was in love with for ages...Imagine the expression on my face...

I wanted to disappear in the ground....I was done for the evening and just wanted to leave, because I was so embarassed because of the situation. My night was over...

Well, my mum reacted perfectly. I insisted on getting home, but she said that she will take not a "no" for an answer. There was absolutely no possibility in her mind that I'll quit and stay at home for the rest of the night. She knew how important this night was for me and reframed the situation perfectly, removing it's terrible meaning I gave it and built me up with more useful, positive meanings. At this night, I learned what it meant to live the belief "You don't quit when things get tough in life"

We went back, a few hours later all parents left and I still had a great prom night, partying with my friends. The sad aspect of the story is that I didn't talk to her that night.

What I love about this story is that
a) it's true
b) it's a great story to demonstrate people how you can change your attitude towards life, situations and so on
c) I can laugh now about it

Not only did he try to dry you by rubbing, but he rubbed your crotch area. I'd be extremely red. It's so nice that you were able to turn it around. And I can't help but "aww" at how your dad came to help you so obliviously.

It's always nice to have someone to push you in your weakest moments. My mother is the same way. She pushes me to do things I do not want to do but end up liking anyway. It's actually how I learnt to play the guitar. I wanted to give up after the first week, but she pushed me and now I am proficient at playing guitar.

So I was sitting in class a few minutes early one time, and this really hot girl sitting next to me asked me to open her drink for her, because she couldn't get the lid off. Well, I tried, and then I slipped and spilled the whole drink all over her. It doesn't need to be stated that I never went on a date with this girl.

If you are of a squeamish disposition do not read this. Don't say you weren't warned, I'm taking embarassment up a notch here fellas ...

I'd flown over to Vegas for a trade show, got there a day early so went off strip for some R & R even though by then I'm badly jet-lagged. Got talking to a local, my age but nevertheless very attractive & a pair of tits you just wanted to bury your head in & make bub-bub-bub noises.

Anyway, went back to her hotel, got very, very drunk, then up to her room...it was SO in the bag my friends.

Poker? No, I never got the chance to

By then you see, I was busting for the toilet because a skin-full of comp. drinks & a steak dinner were clamouring for my attention, so I pop to the little boys room, did that thing with the toilet paper then ever so-discreetly I sat down & took a dump of biblical proportions...

Only to realise I'd forgotten to actually remove my pants before doing the deed.

Imagine the horror. My lady friend is busy getting naked for a evening of frenzied debauchery, & I'm sat in the toilet covered in shit, stuck on the twentieth floor of a hotel with no possible means of escape.

I still wake up sometimes at night, screaming.

That's what life is.

For me it was most definitely pissing myself in the 4th grade. I was a -very- obedient student up until that point. I asked the teacher to go to the bathroom. She said no. I raised my hand again and she just ignored me. Eventually I couldnt hold it and the flood gates opened.

I am fairly certain that is the exact moment when I started giving teachers a hard time and started distrusting authority in general.

But that was -years- ago and means absolutely nothing to me now. Shit happens when you are young and dumb right? If I could right a letter to myself prior to that situation happening I would just say "Yea, just ignore her and do what you gotta do."

I pooped my pants once... I was way too old to be pooping my pants.

(05-03-2013 09:22 PM)Mark Wrote: [ -> ]I pooped my pants once... I was way too old to be pooping my pants.

Haha, I've done that at least three times after reaching adulthood.

Farts are like a box of chocolates; sometimes, you don't know what you're gonna get

and I thought I was dirty.......

EDIT

OK here are some embarrassing moments from the life of the Cosmonaut.........

Actually just one. I was like 14-15 and my Nan was staying over (bitch always got my room) so I was sleeping downstairs. My friend had an "empty" (no parents...yeah!) and I took advantage by drinking responsibly (read: got completely shit faced on San Miguel). So I come home at 2am rrreeeaaaaallllllyyyy drunk and collapsed in bed into coma/sleep. I woke up in the middle of the night and needed to piss but couldn't be fucked going to the toilet so just tilted over to the side and peed all over the floor. Had to explain to the whole family why there was a massive wetstain in the carpet the next morning.

I have another. I was in middle school at the time. My sister and mother had gone to a golf tournament in South Africa or Australia at the time. Well, I was left with my sister's phone, you know, just in case. I didn't have one of my own at the time. Well, right in the middle of history class, the chorus of this freaking song starts playing (at 1:00):



You can't imagine how red I was. Imagine having to reach into your backpack to turn off your phone and having the whole class, including the teacher, watch you do so and realize that it was yours.

Oh god, I couldn't even write straight. I wrote squiggles, freaking squiggles. I left the classroom very angrily at the time. I would curse my sister's friend for calling.

Yeah, I pooped my pants once too when I was about 5,6 and visiting with my friends, I was so afraid of his mother or taking a shit in their house that I shat my pants straight up. And I think once in primary school I pissed myself a little cause some nasty janitor started screaming at me for doing something wrong.

Hell, here I was thinking I was unique. You're a bunch of losers, shitting your pants, you know that don't you?

And Train - really? A phone ringing makes you blush?

I'm sure I've had way more embarrassing stuff happen to me but I've hidden it well in the back of my mind. Have to sit on this for a bit.

Andrew - what happened next? Finish the story.