Your standards about looks going through these transition

[Brian]

I think every men who studies seduction(wether they're in the community or not) will go through this "looks" transition.

Basically, if you have very little to 1 sexual experience, then your standard will be STUPIDLY high. It's high to the point that you might be a chubby ass average looking dude but you literally think you deserve models. Just because you beat your AA, somehow, you should deserve to date model. You might be super negative and not that fun to be around, but yeah, since you dont have AA, you should be dating models.

Transition 2 is realistic expectation. You realize you should bang average looking girls to get more experience and you realize that even if a girl looks slightly plain, if she has a nice body and she gets naked, your dick will get hot. You probably fuck around 20-30 girls while in this phase. This is the phase where you truly learn how to like women for qualities other than their looks.

Transition 3, earning your standard: Basically, you fuck enough plain and cute girls that you want to bang super hot ones. You know that your dick can get hot from a plain girl and you're sexually satisfy enough, but you want to go after a hotter one for the challenge and for your ego. Not only you want a woman who's physically super hot, you also want them to have a personality that you want. Your personality is flesh out enough you know EXACTLY what you want in a girl in terms of their habits, personality, ambition, etc and if they're super hot, all for the better. You also hit the gym and improve your lifestyle to the point that you DESERVE the top quality babes and you know it.

1. Virgin with super high standard.
2. Experience player
3. High value man

The problem that i see is tons of guys trying to jump from level 1 to level 3. Often time, they think that because they lack AA, they should deserve all the reward that the level 3 guys get(at least physically). They also doesnt even know from a personality perspective of what they truly want in a girl either. It's better to start at level 1, work toward level 2, stay in it for at least a few months and earned your place before getting to level 3 imo.

[Warped Mindless]

Cant say I disagree with this.

As I was reading your descriptions of the transitions I couldn't help but nod my head at them thinking about how they describe myself. Back when I first got into this, I would often times use looks as an excuse not to approach.

"Eh, I would approach her but shes not hot enough! I deserve better!"

She could have been a maxim model and I would have still said that. I see a lot of that happening with newer guys.

[CHB2]

Yea I honestly run into this alot. I think my standards for looks may be a little too high to best facilitate me making lots of approaches. The problem is I have a hard time being congruent in my approaches if I am not actually that interested in the girl(s) I am approaching. Does anyone have any thoughts on this? I already don't have much of a problem approaching girls I am not attracted to/don't see as a potential sexual partner, because I don't feel any pressure to impress them. Is your point more that your standard for being attracted to girls should include more than the top 5% of hottest girls?

[Brian]

Warped Mindless Wrote:Cant say I disagree with this.

As I was reading your descriptions of the transitions I couldn't help but nod my head at them thinking about how they describe myself. Back when I first got into this, I would often times use looks as an excuse not to approach.

"Eh, I would approach her but shes not hot enough! I deserve better!"

She could have been a maxim model and I would have still said that. I see a lot of that happening with newer guys.

This post is more or less a rant toward my friend. The dude only recently banged one girl, a chubby one that i advocate him to do just to gain a little experience(he was a virgin before that).

Now i was about to introduce him to this girl that most guys would consider at least an 8(not model but pretty fucking hot) and he thinks he deserve better. I Told him, that girl is 100x hotter than the girl you last fucked dude and he got massively mad. He start to whine and bitch about how i'm not "sensitive to his feeling for the next 20 minute". I lost my cool and said "stop whining like a little bitch. You're fucking chubby, lacking experience, even the girl i'm introducing to you is OUT OF YOUR LEAGUE so shut the fuck up." Sometime you have to teach someone to face reality.

[Mike]

When I first started with all this I used to think I was out most girl's league and that they didn't deserve me, but I never got laid. Once I stopped thinking this way I got a lot more girls, but I also started sleeping with any girl who would have me regardless of how they looked haha. One issue is that you might stop approach the girls you are really attracted to. But I think not opening a girl, because you are not attracted to her is many times an excuse.

[Brian]

I think balance is the key. A guy with supremely low self esteem might think every hot girl is out of his league. However, a guy who is too arrogant might think that any girl who's not heidi klum is below his league. With the second guy, you have to apply a different type of medicine lol.

[IdEngager]

I have to say that peer pressure fucked me up as much as anything growing up. I remember I had one college roommate (we were good friends growing up, actually still friends) who would constantly hate on girl's looks, saying they weren't hot enough, when 1) neither one of us were really getting laid much and 2) plenty of these girls looked just fine. At the time I didn't really have the spine to not give a damn what anyone thinks, and I definitely adopted some of the same attitude. I could have fucked a lot more girls back then if I relaxed my standards a bit and also had a bit more of a clue. What I would give to be an 18 year old college freshman again knowing what I know now... actually I'm 26 and could pass for 21, would that be creepy? But it's all water under the bridge.

My tastes in women have also evolved and changed significantly since then, does that happen for everyone else? When I was 18 I was into more classically hot/slutty types and sorority girls, these days I'm much more into an exotic look (skinny, dark haired, vaguely ethnic... if they are flat chested and big nosed that is A-OK with me... girls like this and this do it for me). You guys can keep your Victoria Secret models and porn stars, send me your odd, your tatted up, and your vaguely ethnic, we accept them all in the IdEngager Nation.

[Chaos]

CHB2 Wrote:Yea I honestly run into this alot. I think my standards for looks may be a little too high to best facilitate me making lots of approaches. The problem is I have a hard time being congruent in my approaches if I am not actually that interested in the girl(s) I am approaching. Does anyone have any thoughts on this? I already don't have much of a problem approaching girls I am not attracted to/don't see as a potential sexual partner, because I don't feel any pressure to impress them. Is your point more that your standard for being attracted to girls should include more than the top 5% of hottest girls?

I have the exactly same problem here. My best cure was to actually next a 6 with which I was flirting to go for a pretty fucking hot chick that interested me more... Nothing wrong with that of course, but after the hot one rejected me, it was late, the 6 was gone and I was horny, so I started lowering my standards easily enough... in fact at that moment thinking about banging that 6 she magically gained a point and became a 7

The fact is what I consider a "6" I would honestly fuck her, and I can say it would be probably easier than some of the hot girls. I have to (and make a point to) remind myself that in fact the girl is attractive enough... what is holding me back is mostly the perceived opinion of my friends and the approach anxiety... so I try to resort to approaching just for the fun of the conversation and see where it goes... After a couple of approaches I actually find it really useful. As I don't perceive her as being that hot I have no problems approaching... I might end up fucking her, specially if she's fun or if she has a cute face... Either way my AA always drops down after that... so I try to keep it on my mind. And specially, for coherence I try to remind me of that night when I thought I wouldn't fuck that 6 but in the end I would have...

[Brian]

Btw, i have a funny story about the opposite end of the spectrum as well.

I remember i had a female friend about 10 years ago. She's like this short fat mexican girl. I still remember this girl have NEVER kiss a guy once despite being 20 years old and her standard is: A guy has to be white, at least 6 foot tall, 6 pack, blond hair and blue eyes...basically an abercrombie and fitch male model. I didnt say anything but in my head i'm thinking...dude, you're a fat short mexican chick. You're literally at the bottom of the food chain in terms of the dating pool.

So yeah, my theory that some women reject you, even fat one is that like some men, their standard is stupid. THey're not being realistic about what they're bringing to the table.

[crazyhorse]

Brian Wrote:Btw, i have a funny story about the opposite end of the spectrum as well.

I remember i had a female friend about 10 years ago. She's like this short fat mexican girl. I still remember this girl have NEVER kiss a guy once despite being 20 years old and her standard is: A guy has to be white, at least 6 foot tall, 6 pack, blond hair and blue eyes...basically an abercrombie and fitch male model. I didnt say anything but in my head i'm thinking...dude, you're a fat short mexican chick. You're literally at the bottom of the food chain in terms of the dating pool.

So yeah, my theory that some women reject you, even fat one is that like some men, their standard is stupid. THey're not being realistic about what they're bringing to the table.

It surprises me that you didn't say anything

I went out with two fat chicks (classmates) and one of them was single. A tall average looking dude hit on the single one. They just couldn't kept talking about how ugly he was. I kept thinking to myself, "you're a fat chick, you're not even supposed to get approached unless men only want to use you to get out of a dry spell". Some girls really need a reality check.

I have met a lot of those painfull "sense of entitlement" cases. It's really funny that these women have such a ridiculous list of standards where they themselves have so little to offer. In my experience the more inexperienced people are, the harder they judge potential mates and often it's based on bullshit.

And men have this as well

[Harry Potter]

I found that cutting off porn gives you more realistic standards.

[Mark]

Harry Potter Wrote:I found that cutting off porn gives you more realistic standards.

I'm definitely noticing this right now. I used to get really nitpicky and turned off by minor flaws or imperfections on girls, like if their nose was shaped funny or if their shoulders were slightly too big or something. Now I've actually started seeing those slight imperfections as sexy.

[Brian]

Mark Wrote:I'm definitely noticing this right now. I used to get really nitpicky and turned off by minor flaws or imperfections on girls, like if their nose was shaped funny or if their shoulders were slightly too big or something. Now I've actually started seeing those slight imperfections as sexy.

1. No porn or masturbation for 60 days + going out for 5 days a week + lower your standard + willing to approach 60+ girls a week.

That above is guarenteer to get ANYONE laid. Hell, i should trademark the above technique. It has 1000 percent success rate higher than anything technique created by mystery or any pickup guru lol.

[CHB2]

Chaos, yeah I ran into a kinda similar situation last weekend. There was a girl who actually approached me while I was doing a funny drunk dance with my friends and we started dancing, got touchy quickly, makeout, etc. Then I broke it off after a few minutes and went back to my friends after because upon a closer look she was closer to a 6 than the 7 I initially thought. It was kind of stupid, because by that time in the night I didn't have any other prospects and she definitely seemed into me enough to go home. If I am honest with myself my friends perceptions of me definitely play into my actions in situations like this.


I agree with Brian on this one. If your only goal is to get laid you just need lower standards and more attempts. That coupled with no other sexual outlet and you will definitely succeed. There are tons of girls who are totally DTF..

[IdEngager]

Brian Wrote:1. No porn or masturbation for 60 days + going out for 5 days a week + lower your standard + willing to approach 60+ girls a week.

That above is guarenteer to get ANYONE laid. Hell, i should trademark the above technique. It has 1000 percent success rate higher than anything technique created by mystery or any pickup guru lol.

Goddamn if I'm going out 5 days a week and approaching 60+ girls I better be getting laid... hell if I'm doing half that I better get laid once in a while... dude does need to sleep and do other shit too.

[Bloodbunny]

Well, that's how I see this:
You start to study pickup because you want a (or a bunch of) amazingly hot, gorgeous girls. I think people who just tend to get 6s naturally don't become so frustrated that they seek out such advice. So our newbie sets out on his journey for some Angelina Jolie look-alike. In the meantime, he gets to know some average looking girls who are attracted to him. So he has sex with them, and maybe even fall in love - and when you are in love, you don't ever think "I want someone hotter". Or he has more and more sex, the more and more confident he becomes, and the hotter the girls he can pull. It's like leveling up in WoW, lol: first it's hard to kill even the low level monsters, but if you put enough time in it, you'll kill the lich king himself (or maybe you find out that you are perfectly happy just slaughtering some filthy orc grunt again and again )

[luda]

I had a similiar experience at a party also. I approached this girl, started dancing with her and then proceeded to make small talk. I decided to leave her because I felt I could get hotter girls then her. As the party came to an end and i still had no girls so I started thinking about her and she started looking hotter to me. Sadly I couldn't find her and this is where I realised that I'm sometimes full of shit because I ended up hooking up with a girl that wasn't as attractive as her at the end of the party.