Women's Insecurities

[Mountainman]

I have a question for all of you experienced guys out there.

I'm an inexperienced man in my mid 30's who has recently started seeing a psychologist to deal with my anxieties regarding women. He works for a university and sees a lot of college aged girls, and told me that one of the biggest things he hears from them is that they think they're fat and ugly.

My question to you guys is, is this common among the really gorgeous women? Lets say a woman who is really incredible looking and who gets hit on quite a bit, are a lot of them insecure like this too?

[SeXyBaCk]

From my experience, insecurities are even more common amongst women than men, but very physically attractive people are generally aware of it. So to answer your question: no. My previous long term relationship... she just always said she had great genes, which wasn't her doing, and is grateful for them, "she lucked out" as she said. We all have our insecurities. Even beautiful people have them, about not being smart enough, or not being good at this or that (for the lady mentioned it was she felt she'd be a bad mother because she had a troubled relationship with her parents and was a only child). Of course there's a devide between regular insecurities about a defined area of your life and things that really cramp your style and make you miserable. I've dated a woman who was very content with her looks but felt her genitals were off somehow. They weren't, she'd just watched too much porn I guess.

I'm definitely more attracted to women who don't come with significant insecurities. Being very content/comfortable in your own skin is sexy.

[Thor]

I have lost count the number of times a woman stops to check her hair in the reflection or checks her makeup on the bus, on the train.So yes women are very insecure about their looks much more then us men.

I recently met a stunning blonde who models for playboy. Guess what ? she doesnt have any mirrors in her appartment because she thinks shes not that attractive. She hates looking at herself in the mirror. I know this is an extreme case but just want to make a point that women are far more insecure about their looks then men.

[FlyingMoose]

Psychologists are still using a Freudian model, which is like using a model where the sun goes around the earth and the stars are on a giant glass ball outside of the whole thing. Sure it may explain some things, but it's a severly flawed model. If you ask me, psychologists are nothing but rip-off quacks (and I went to psychologists for many many years, and they didn't help me at all).

[Alvar]

(07-29-2012 11:58 AM)Thor Wrote:  I recently met a stunning blonde who models for playboy. Guess what ? she doesnt have any mirrors in her appartment because she thinks shes not that attractive. She hates looking at herself in the mirror. I know this is an extreme case but just want to make a point that women are far more insecure about their looks then men.

Wait. What?
You are hitting and getting acquainted with Playboy models? Tell us more. You certainly are an inspiration to us.

To the OP: go and read a post in the blog: The Ipanema Boardwalk. We are all very insecure of what we perceive to be our shortcomings and yes, many attractive women do so way more than us.

[jimmy]

(07-29-2012 05:22 AM)Mountainman Wrote:  He works for a university and sees a lot of college aged girls, and told me that one of the biggest things he hears from them is that they think they're fat and ugly.

Maybe they are fat an ugly.

[Alexander]

I've gotta' make a small defense of psychologists here, being a therapist myself. It's not true that they are still using a Freudian model. In modern psychology, Freud is considered an important pioneer, maybe like Galileo is in astronomy. Galileo may have laid some important groundwork, but our understanding of the galaxy and beyond is very different than his. The same applies to psychologists and therapy - let's not knock it because for some people it's really transformational and important.

[Chaos]

(07-29-2012 11:47 PM)jimmy Wrote:  

(07-29-2012 05:22 AM)Mountainman Wrote:  He works for a university and sees a lot of college aged girls, and told me that one of the biggest things he hears from them is that they think they're fat and ugly.

Maybe they are fat an ugly.

How you're still allowed to comment in this forum given your incredibly insightful comments is beyond me.

[Mountainman]

(07-30-2012 04:43 AM)Alexander Wrote:  I've gotta' make a small defense of psychologists here, being a therapist myself. It's not true that they are still using a Freudian model. In modern psychology, Freud is considered an important pioneer, maybe like Galileo is in astronomy. Galileo may have laid some important groundwork, but our understanding of the galaxy and beyond is very different than his. The same applies to psychologists and therapy - let's not knock it because for some people it's really transformational and important.

I used to be narrow minded and think therapy was for whiners and insane people, but it has really done more for me than I could ever imagine. And I can see where people who have a bad attitude don't like it-it takes effort on the part of the patient. A therapist isn't going to wave a magic wand and make all your problems disappear. They aren't going to take your pessimistic view of the world and go ahead and change the world based on the fact that you think it should change to your personal preferences.

@Flyingmoose-You're going to have to come up with a lot more than that if you want to prove an entire profession wrong.

[Thor]

Met her in the gym shes single and hot but unfortunately alittle screwed up in the head. She spends her time modeling for playboy, playing board games and going to the gym nothing more.

Her father use to beat her when she was little girl and told her how ugly she looked. Even though shes a stunner she still feels shes not attractive.

(07-29-2012 11:27 PM)Alvar Wrote:  

(07-29-2012 11:58 AM)Thor Wrote:  I recently met a stunning blonde who models for playboy. Guess what ? she doesnt have any mirrors in her appartment because she thinks shes not that attractive. She hates looking at herself in the mirror. I know this is an extreme case but just want to make a point that women are far more insecure about their looks then men.

Wait. What?
You are hitting and getting acquainted with Playboy models? Tell us more. You certainly are an inspiration to us.

To the OP: go and read a post in the blog: The Ipanema Boardwalk. We are all very insecure of what we perceive to be our shortcomings and yes, many attractive women do so way more than us.