Women don't give a shit about the emotional damage they do

[Jean DeCuir]

Recently a national PUA guru showed me and the community here his conversations with a stripper. It's a 50 pages pdf of tragic-comedy really. The guy treats her like shit and she keeps saying she loves him (10 pages are her preety much saying " i love you, motherfucker, can't you see that"... how romantic). He says he doesn't give a shit about her because women are all the same, they don't give a shit about the emotional damage they do to others, like their male groupies, for example. He actually tought he went easy on her (even tho he treated her like SHIT) because he could have stopped texting her like most of them do hundreds of times in their lifes when they are tired of man.

This kind of psychopath thinking disgusts me. But i have to admit, he has a point when he says women don't care much about the emotional damage they do. I actually canalized it to something good, since i know how an heart break hurts, instead of doing what he does wich is " i don't give a shit about women because they don't give a shit about nobody too".

So, normal mentaly healthy people, what's your toughts?

[The Notorious PhD]

Hasty generalization.

Some girls are emotionally fucked-up. So are some guys.

[Matty]

In the community, there is a tendency to take guys who get laid a lot and put them on a pedestal. And it needs to stop. These men rarely stop to consider things like the type of woman they sleep with, how they conduct themselves during the relationship, there motivations, etc. For these men, all that matters is the lay count and the arbitrary physical attractiveness of the girl, which explains why this fella you mention above is getting so much attention for his exploits.

This come down to the assortment theory Mark always talks about. U know the saying you are what you eat. Well, you are what you fuck as well (credit goes to T for that saying). If u sleep with emotionally manipulative and narcissistic woman, chances are, you'll become an emotionally manipulative and narcissistic man, who lacks any sense of empathy like ur afformentioned "guru".

[Salaam]

Another thing somewhat related to this is, I believe some women have this idea of what a man is that includes denying or being insensitive to our own feelings. So when they see a man being emotionally open, they take it as a sign of weakness or as a non-masculine trait.

I don't blame them for it, as a lot of men feel the same way and were taught by their fathers to repress emotion. But I do believe it is an ignorance that can cause damage to a relationship.

It takes courage to be open about what we feel and to speak up about it. In fact speaking openly from the heart is the original meaning of courage. I personally am proud of the fact that I feel things deeply. I wouldn't want to live any other way.

[Tim]

Women care just as much as men about not hurting other people. It's that simple.

[Dragonslayer]

(07-12-2012 04:23 PM)Matty Wrote:  If u sleep with emotionally manipulative and narcissistic woman, chances are, you'll become an emotionally manipulative and narcissistic man, who lacks any sense of empathy like ur afformentioned "guru".

I believe it's more the other way round: if you are an emotionally manipulative and narcissistic man, chances are, you'll end up sleeping with emotionally manipulative and narcissistic women, because that's the kind of women you'll attract with your behaviour.

[Drewid]

(07-12-2012 04:31 PM)Tim Wrote:  Women care just as much as men about not hurting other people. It's that simple.

Believing this will do more emotional damage to you than any woman ever could.

[Jean DeCuir]

Well, in response to all of you (thanks for your feedback) here is what i have to say about this:

I read the generalizations article and i do agree. I also know that having these kind of beliefs often results in hating towards women and that's POISON to your mind and mostly to your emotional fulfilment, as most guys will often try to turn off emotionally because " they are all whores and don't care about you, bro! So let's torture the bitch like is Saw 7". This kind of belief comes from emotional wounds and hopefully, one ends up realizing that emotional fulfilment is in fact the most important.

However, let's not be naiive. Tho it all depends in the kind of women, her values, her demographics, and so on, i do think a lot of women are not really saints. Chances are, that quiet girl you used to see at the gym and that you tought was a nun had more dicks in her mouth than you can possibly imagine. It always amazes me how some shy girls turn out to be so sexually open. And that cutie Stacy from highschool you tought was so nice and such a good girl keeps tooling guys, accepting their presents and free drinks... Boy! If she didn't keep that smile on her face all the time you would actually think she is actually kind of... an asshole?

I don't judge it. It's just a reality we have to deal with. It happens. Not that the world is a terror movie. Not that all people are like that. Some are. Some aren't. Some partially are and some partially are not. It really depends on the male, the female and the context.

This guy is cool but he lives in a very negative reality. The guy is really whole fucked up. He is cold and is clearly not in peace with himself. He talks about women like he hates them. Really makes me think why he wants to date them in the first place. The girl is retarded too. If that is what dating a stripper is like i would rather throw myself from a bridge.

To finnish, there is no such thing as a "guru". Most of them are stuck in a "next level mentality" ( "well, now that i fucked 5 girls in one night ii need to surprass that"). Being good with women just makes you a guy with ot without a problem. Doesn't make you better ou worse than anyone. Basing one's selfworth in lay counts leads to shit. That was a mentality i got stucked in for years. Just want to make that clear to everyone.

[Chaos]

As a general rule women and men are similar in the vast majority of things with only slight differences. Any generalization you make about women is bound to come bite you in the ass.

[Tim]

Jean I agree there are cold girls who don't give a shit about hurting guys. I've met plenty myself. I just think there are no more of them than there are male equivalents, so why talk about 'women' being emotionally cold. You're painting an entire gender with that brush. I don't think that's what you meant to do though.

[Jean DeCuir]

Well, maybe you're right, Tim. I personally never met a woman who would care much about emotional damage. I don't think that they don't exist tho. I also don't think that vast majority of women are Charles Manson with a pussy like that PUA guru pictures them. Either way, you can't judge a woman for doing whatever she thinks is best for her. You can, however, decide if she's a guest in your life.

The fact that there are women like that shaped me the way i am, wich is good. I do care about any emotional damge i do. That's why, when i'm trying to break up with anyone, i'm honest and say "look, you're awesome, we have great memories and you meant a lot but it's over". That way you save the girl from existential doubts, and saver her friends from lame drunk whinnings like "why did he left me? Am i fat? I'm not good enough??" lol

[dr. love]

Women don't respect men who are pussies. They can be nice to these guys but they simply can't respect a man who hasn't matured and lets others walk over him. I've seen this too many times with some of my friends and relatives, who are some of the nicest guys out there. No matter how nice the girl is, she will end up treating you like shit, controlling you or otherwise hurting you if you are a pussy and let the woman take the charge over yourself. There's a lot of divorced "perfect nice guys" too, who wonder what just happened, how their ideal wife turned into a monster after giving birth to two kids.

[FirstAidKit]

(07-12-2012 11:49 PM)Jean DeCuir Wrote:  However, let's not be naiive. Tho it all depends in the kind of women, her values, her demographics, and so on, i do think a lot of women are not really saints. Chances are, that quiet girl you used to see at the gym and that you tought was a nun had more dicks in her mouth than you can possibly imagine. It always amazes me how some shy girls turn out to be so sexually open. And that cutie Stacy from highschool you tought was so nice and such a good girl keeps tooling guys, accepting their presents and free drinks... Boy! If she didn't keep that smile on her face all the time you would actually think she is actually kind of... an asshole?

More dicks than you could possibly imagine? Cause, I can imagine a hell of a lot of dicks. Just sayin'

Besides the fact that you're making sweeping generalisations which other posters have already pointed out - I think this section of your post is somewhat problematic. I think way too much of whether you consider girls to be 'good' or 'nice' is wrapped up in their sexual histories and attitudes. Your not talking about their 'niceness' by looking at when they volunteered at the animal shelter, or helped their friends move, or comforted their families in hard times - basically, by looking at their actions that show kindness or compassion. Conversely, you're focusing more on the having of the sex than the ethics of the sex -'she's sleeping with people' rather than 'is she cheating, or lying, or being cruel'

I mean - you clearly want to date a 'good' girl. I'm also assuming you want to date a girl who enjoys and wants sex (with you, at least). The attitudes you are showing here seem to spring from a place where these qualities aren't going to exist in the same person - the sooner you start realising they're not mutually exclusive I can guarantee you your sex life will improve.

(07-13-2012 02:07 PM)Jean DeCuir Wrote:  Well, maybe you're right, Tim. I personally never met a woman who would care much about emotional damage. I don't think that they don't exist tho. I also don't think that vast majority of women are Charles Manson with a pussy like that PUA guru pictures them. Either way, you can't judge a woman for doing whatever she thinks is best for her. You can, however, decide if she's a guest in your life.

Well, I'm a woman (who has probably had more dicks in her mouth than you would guess upon first meeting her) and I care about emotional damage. Now you have.

[Creatine Dreams]

Lol, numbers please, Firstaidkit!

And yeah, what the hell does nice mean?

[Salaam]

Separating this idea of purity from sex, goes along way in helping to see the humanity of another person... just one less useless thing to be judging a person on.

[Traindom]

It's awesome to have a sexually liberated, emotionally aware woman on these boards. I'm feeling awe, admiration, and attraction at the same time. Awesome post. You'd think these feeling wouldn't go together, haha. I hope I come across women like this.

End tangent.

[Starsailor~]

What FirstAidKit said