Women and age

[Leo]

I'm a 39 y-o PUA and this is my experience with women of different ages.

Girls in their 18-24 y-o are experimenting (of course, they are really young), they think everything boils down to playing hard to get. A straightforward communication with them is almost impossible to get. Everything is indirect, therefore you have to pay attention to what they are REALLY saying. They relax a lot with alcohol, that's when they show their true intentions. I think is very hard for them to show their real emotions, what they feel for you, when thay are sober. They spend a lot of time with her female friends, thay are a group, some of them are always attached to her best friend and she is like an extension of herself. She can use her best friend to "communicate" with you, sending encoded messages with her. To be honest I've seen this happening even with women around my age. They look very good and they know it, they have a lot of options, thefore they play so many games, they can choose and pick. I haven't had sex with girls in this group yet but I have had dates with them. It's really hard to have sex with them IMHO because they don't know how to handle the situation, it's a lot different with women with experience; it's almost straightforward. I've had to invest a lot of time just to have dates with them. Sigh!

Girls 25-30, they don't play so many games. Depending of how mature they are they don't play games at all. They start to worry about "getting old" therefore they have to get maried and have kids to live happilly ever after. They are a little bit scared, they don't want to be alone, they are not "so" young anymore. They have some experience therefore they communicate better and show their intentions. They mention marriage from time to time to see how you react, to see if you want something serious. They are fun, it's good to spend time with them, they have a lot of vitality, and even though a lot of them want to get married, it's not the only theme in their minds. They still look good.

Women 30-40, they just want one thing: get married ASAP, no time to fool around, there's no more time! I particularly find these women really boring. Almost all of them have an interrogation process to see how marriageable you are. This interrogation can start as soon as the first meeting (I didn't say date). These are questions like: Where did you say you go to college? (when I didn't say anything AT ALL) What do you do for a living? What kind of cell phone do you have? Let me see (believe it or not this is a way to see how wealthy you are, lol!). Having sex with this women is pretty easy but if they sniff you don't want anything serious they disappear, you don't see them never again. The same happen if you don't have all the requirements they are looking for. Believe it or not some of these women are looking for a man who is: Attractive, tall, sexy, good in bed, funny and wealthy to be the father of her kids. It's fucking incredible how they are discriminating to find the best! When themselves are not the best, they think they can choose even though they don't look so good anymore, it's a little bit pathetic. These women fall in love really fast, they can fall in love the first time I have sex with them, I think it could be related to their desperation: please save me! I'm getting old, please, please!!!!! In which case is not real love. These women act kinda like a man, I mean you can see their insecurities pretty easily, their neediness, sometimes they hit on me, I don't have to do anything. Boring, boring, boring! They are not funny anymore, they just want a family. Of course this is emphasized with a man of my age, but for me it's not too attractive the idea of getting married for the rest of my life with the same woman to get a mortgage, have kids and don't have sex with her after 3 years. I want to get married but with a woman that's really attractive for me, maybe a younger woman, if I can do it. I hope so.

[master0rolando]

Frankly your assessment of the 30-40 women is very harsh.

Why shouldn't they want an attractive, tall, sexy, good in bed, funny, wealthy, fatherly man?
It doesn't matter what your opinion of how she looks is. She has a right to pursue what she wants. Just like you have a right to pursue younger women like you want.

[Halo Effect]

My experience with 18-24 y/o girls is very different. I have remarkably open, direct and honest communication with girls I date. (I've only dated in that age group.)

I'm very honest and direct myself though. Also, when it turns out that she did not share something with me that she was feeling or whatever, I'll tell her after the fact "well, next time you just tell me right away. That makes things much easier.." If I can tell she's hiding something, I'll say that and try to get the truth out of her. I definitely go overboard sometimes with the truth and openness, but I can't say I recognize the girls you describe..

It could also be the culture. I've heard scary things about American girls.

[Leo]

master0rolando Wrote:Frankly your assessment of the 30-40 women is very harsh.

Why shouldn't they want an attractive, tall, sexy, good in bed, funny, wealthy, fatherly man?
It doesn't matter what your opinion of how she looks is. She has a right to pursue what she wants. Just like you have a right to pursue younger women like you want.

What do they have to offer? That's my question! For me this is a 2 way road, not just one way. For me (and for some of my friends) marriage is not a very attractive option, it's a possibility but not very attractive. Read again what you wrote about what these women are looking for: an attractive, tall, sexy, good in bed, funny, wealthy, fatherly man. That's the perfect man!!!! But if you ask for a smart, hot, good in bed, young girl they would say that you are out of mind and very immature. Women have a lot of double standars in differents areas of life. And again these women that are looking for the perfect man are not so perfect themselves. To be honest this kind of situations happen with americans, foreigners in that range of age are not so demmanding. I was dating a 34 y-o american last summer and she was looking for this perfect man, she wasn't so hot but she was a professional with her own house. She said to me at some point: I'm ready to go for atificial insemination if I don't find what I'm looking for. I said to myself: You are gonna have to do it because there are not perfect men out there. IDK, americans in their 30-40 make me feel just like a provider, while girls under 30 make feel more like a man. For me it's not too attractive to get married ASAP just because she's getting old. And believe me when these women start the interrogation process on the first date is not very comfortable. Just few days ago I paid attention to a 40 y-o woman that has been hitting on me for a long time, she just started to ask questions to see how wealthy I'm. When I was dating a 25 y-o last summer I had fun, I felt happy, she was interested about money but not so much. These women want a house and kids ASAP, how is that beneficial for me?I don't see it. And with a 40 y-o?, yeah right! I have very close female friends, and sometimes they talk about guys in front of me, you should listen how they express about guys without game, they are very harsh too, believe me.

[Mark]

I think much of it depends on your age. Your experience Leo, at 39, is going to be quite different than mine or Halo's, in our mid-20's. With one exception, I have had nothing but great experiences with women in their 30's. One of the most attractive women I know (all-around, looks, brains, personality, sex) is 34. With all of them, it's been nothing but lots of great, fun sex, engaging conversations, no head games and no pressure for things to get too serious too quickly.

My experience with the 18-24 year old crowd has also only gotten better the older I've gotten. I used to find them very unreliable, but now I'm able to communicate pretty directly with most of them. Again, age may also be a factor. A 20 year old girl is probably less likely to be comfortable or trust a 40-year old than she is a 26 year old, therefore she'll probably behave in more erratic ways and be hot/cold.

Oh, rolando's right, there's nothing wrong with them wanting their dreamboat husband. We all have a right to dream about what we want. Just like you have a right to get absolutely turned off when they start interrogating you. Haha...

[Leo]

Mark Wrote:I think much of it depends on your age. Your experience Leo, at 39, is going to be quite different than mine or Halo's, in our mid-20's. With one exception, I have had nothing but great experiences with women in their 30's. One of the most attractive women I know (all-around, looks, brains, personality, sex) is 34. With all of them, it's been nothing but lots of great, fun sex, engaging conversations, no head games and no pressure for things to get too serious too quickly.

Yeah, I've enxperienced the advantages that you are talking about but with me they want to get serious ASAP, they even talk about marriage and kids on the first date . Maybe they see you more like a source of fun, this guy is too young to be interested in marriage so let's gonna have sex with him and nothing else. I think that's why they interrogate me so quickly, they see me like a potential husband and want to know if I want to get married too. Ugggh!!

Quote:My experience with the 18-24 year old crowd has also only gotten better the older I've gotten. I used to find them very unreliable, but now I'm able to communicate pretty directly with most of them. Again, age may also be a factor. A 20 year old girl is probably less likely to be comfortable or trust a 40-year old than she is a 26 year old, therefore she'll probably behave in more erratic ways and be hot/cold.

That's exactly what happens with me, except when they are drunk, they show they real intentions and I can feel them up easily and kiss them, but when they are sober they are cold again. It requieres a lot of effort and a lot of comfort, it takes a lot of time, but definitely they make me feel a lot more masculine. I date other women while I hit on young girls because I know it's gonna take a long time depending on how mature and experienced they are.

Quote:Oh, rolando's right, there's nothing wrong with them wanting their dreamboat husband. We all have a right to dream about what we want. Just like you have a right to get absolutely turned off when they start interrogating you. Haha...

Of course they have the right to dream about what they want but I think those dreams are very unrealistic. They just want the perfect man when they are not so perfect. You know what? They are looking for a guy with the 3 fundamentals in order, and that's fucking hard to find. IMO they have to have something to offer too, even though I think they act in a way they think that I'm like the average guy: I have not options, and that's not true . We should have a 3 fundamentals for women, what are we looking for in a woman that is satisfactory for us: Hot, smart and sexy? Sounds good to me

[TooFastForLove]

I'm 26 years old, and I can say that I've had some really great experiences dating women in the 30-40 age range. They don't mess around, are very comfortable with their sexuality, have interesting things to talk about and it's nothing but fun without all the bullshit. Right now I actually prefer dating older women as opposed to girls in their early 20s.

[Jon]

Leo,

It seems like you have a hard time putting yourself in other peoples' shoes. Women who are 18-24 are naturally going to be somewhat resistant to dating a guy who is almost forty. There is a cultural stigma against it, they might worry about the imbalance of power, they have never dated a guy your age, they don't know if you have anything in common. There are lots of reasons for them to be flaky. And as for women 30+, well, if they are looking to get married, they had better be pretty ruthlessly discriminating and next a guy they aren't into.

[Leo]

Jon Wrote:Leo,

It seems like you have a hard time putting yourself in other peoples' shoes. Women who are 18-24 are naturally going to be somewhat resistant to dating a guy who is almost forty. There is a cultural stigma against it, they might worry about the imbalance of power, they have never dated a guy your age, they don't know if you have anything in common. There are lots of reasons for them to be flaky.

Thanks for the advice Jon, I know; I understand their fear, how hard it is, how different it is, but I think just asking to talk with her is not a big deal. Plus, I've been patient man, I was hitting on a 22 y-o for months and she was opening up little by little but didn't want to go out on dates with me. At some point I get tired my patience is not infinite and I can't take their resitance PERSONALLY, but to be honest sometimes I do, it's hard, it requires a lot of effort, time and PATIENCE. And well, it is a stigma in USA (even though I've seen few couples in that age range) but not for us latinos, I'll try to keep that in mind.

Quote:And as for women 30+, well, if they are looking to get married, they had better be pretty ruthlessly discriminating and next a guy they aren't into.

I know that, but they have to interrogate me so hard core on the first date and ask FOR KIDS AND MARRIAGE? Talk about desperation, what a turn off! I understand them but I think they should understand us too. I really believe you shouldn't talk about marriage and kids on the first date, that's a LOT OF DESPERATION AND NEEDINESS. A friend of mine recommended me to date women in the range of 26-30 y-o, I think he's right. But I'll keep in mind your suggestions.

[Jon]

If a girl resists going out with you for months, she's just not interested. She's just uncomfortable with confrontation and not rejecting you straightforwardly.

And as to the girls who want to interrogate you and turn you off - thats the point. They want very different things from you, so screening hard is a good tactic for them.

[CharlesB]

TooFastForLove Wrote:I'm 26 years old, and I can say that I've had some really great experiences dating women in the 30-40 age range. They don't mess around, are very comfortable with their sexuality, have interesting things to talk about and it's nothing but fun without all the bullshit. Right now I actually prefer dating older women as opposed to girls in their early 20s.

I 'm curious how do you meet this women in the first place?Cold approaching seems a little bit strange in that age specially because the big percentage of them are going to be married,or engaged.

[crazyhorse]

[quote=Leo]Thanks for the advice Jon, I know; I understand their fear, how hard it is, how different it is, but I think just asking to talk with her is not a big deal. Plus, I've been patient man, I was hitting on a 22 y-o for months and she was opening up little by little but didn't want to go out on dates with me. At some point I get tired my patience is not infinite and I can't take their resitance PERSONALLY, but to be honest sometimes I do, it's hard, it requires a lot of effort, time and PATIENCE. And well, it is a stigma in USA (even though I've seen few couples in that age range) but not for us latinos, I'll try to keep that in mind.

So you're 40 and you want to date a girl who's 20? Great that's going to be a lovely scenario when she's going to introduce you to her parents......

[Leo]

Jon Wrote:If a girl resists going out with you for months, she's just not interested. She's just uncomfortable with confrontation and not rejecting you straightforwardly.

Or she's not ready yet. That's the problem with young girls and guys around my age, they can be attracted and INTERESTED but she's afraid at trhe same time, her way to "communicate" I'm not ready YET is resisting going out with me. This girl in particular was asking indirectly for a lot of reassuarance that I couldn't give to her. I'd like to think that the interaction between a man of my age and a girl in her early 20s would be so "clear" as you are trying to say. It's a lot more complicated than that.

[Leo]

crazyhorse Wrote:[quote=Leo]Thanks for the advice Jon, I know; I understand their fear, how hard it is, how different it is, but I think just asking to talk with her is not a big deal. Plus, I've been patient man, I was hitting on a 22 y-o for months and she was opening up little by little but didn't want to go out on dates with me. At some point I get tired my patience is not infinite and I can't take their resitance PERSONALLY, but to be honest sometimes I do, it's hard, it requires a lot of effort, time and PATIENCE. And well, it is a stigma in USA (even though I've seen few couples in that age range) but not for us latinos, I'll try to keep that in mind.

So you're 40 and you want to date a girl who's 20? Great that's going to be a lovely scenario when she's going to introduce you to her parents......

It happens. I've seen few couples in USA in that age range. As I said before it is a stigma in USA but not in South America. I've met young women attracted to me, but they don't know how to handle the interaction because of their lack of experience and fear. I almost had sex with a 24 y-o few months ago, but she didn't manage the logistics very well. Well, if her parents are judgmental, what the hell! If I don't try I'll never know. Where I work there's a brazilian MARRIED couple, she's 25 y-o, he's 39 y-o, another co-worker said to the girl: wow that's a big age gap, and the married girl said: I like real men, not little boys that don't know what they are doing!
There you go!
BTW crazyhorse, that's a horrible way to anticipe to the future in a negative way. Maybe I just have a ONS with the girl, maybe we stay together only for 2 weeks! Who knows? I'm not in the community to get laid with women around my age, that's a piece of cake. Nobody needs game to get laid with a woman in her late 30s, early 40s.

[crazyhorse]

Leo Wrote:[quote=crazyhorse]

It happens. I've seen few couples in USA in that age range. As I said before it is a stigma in USA but not in South America. I've met young women attracted to me, but they don't know how to handle the interaction because of their lack of experience and fear. I almost had sex with a 24 y-o few months ago, but she didn't manage the logistics very well. Well, if her parents are judgmental, what the hell! If I don't try I'll never know. Where I work there's a brazilian MARRIED couple, she's 25 y-o, he's 39 y-o, another co-worker said to the girl: wow that's a big age gap, and the married girl said: I like real men, not little boys that don't know what they are doing!
There you go!
BTW crazyhorse, that's a horrible way to anticipe to the future in a negative way. Maybe I just have a ONS with the girl, maybe we stay together only for 2 weeks! Who knows? I'm not in the community to get laid with women around my age, that's a piece of cake. Nobody needs game to get laid with a woman in her late 30s, early 40s.

it's a joke.....

[Andy]

Leo Wrote:[quote=crazyhorse]

It happens. I've seen few couples in USA in that age range. As I said before it is a stigma in USA but not in South America.

Heh, here in Prague it's actually quite common to see a man who is around 40 (or older) dating a woman who is in the 20-25 age bracket. Seriously, I've mistaken girl's boyfriends for fathers so many times and in many situations.

Leo you should consider visiting a place like Prague, even if it's just for a month or something

CharlesB, about "where to meet women in that age bracket".. maybe there is a nice bar/lounge type place in your city with an older crowd, like almost exclusively 26+ age group? At least there is a place like that here, which is why I mentioned that.

[Mark]

Most major cities have at least 1-2 venues that are kind of the unofficial 30+ hang outs.

[Jon]

Re age gap:

I'm not anti age gap. My parents have married friends with a 20 year age gap between them, and they have a great marriage. However, I think a lot of women will have an issue with it, and those are the ones to avoid if you want to date younger.

and where to find women in their 30s, I feel like they are just out at bars. Certainly 31-33 year olds are at the same bars as 28 and 29 year olds (I feel like 27-34 is an age block that tends to frequent the same places).

[Andy]

Jon Wrote:Certainly 31-33 year olds are at the same bars as 28 and 29 year olds (I feel like 27-34 is an age block that tends to frequent the same places).

I see this as being true for the most part.. funny story, I remember visiting a close friend of mine and his wife a few months back, and we were circling around the city centre forever trying to find a good bar to go to (in my opinion many of them were good), because his wife who is 30 years old doesn't want to go inside any club/bar "full of 20 year old girls"

[Leo]

I just noticed another difference between girls in their early 20s and women after 25. Women after 25 USUALLY want something formal or at least the expectation to have something formal. Girls in their early 20s USUALLY don't want anything formal, they just want to have fun. It's pretty obvious but I didn't notice it before. I think it's part of me being in my late 30s. Well, we learn from our mistakes.

The tests from girls in their early 20s are related to "character" to see how strong or unaffected you are by her.

The tests from women over 25 are related to COMMITMENT or at least the possibility of a future commitment. They drop hints about relationships, people getting married, buying houses, etc. To see how you react or what you say. Guys, don't let her pay the bill on the first, second date, EVEN if she insists, it's a test, they want to know if you are a good provider. Lol! Women are funny! The tests about commitment get worse as she gets older, of course.