Why Girls Today are Flakier than Ever Before and How to Adapt in the Smartphone Era

[Mace]

The late 2000s saw a dramatic acceleration in the growth of female-centric communications technology - namely, the explosion of texting, social networking, and online dating.

IMO all the growth in technology has had a negative effect on game. Simply, girls today have more options and more distractions literally at their fingertips than ever before.

They get their egos stroked constantly on Facebook. They have guys constantly blowing up their smartphones texting them out. They get hounded with hundreds of messages on online dating sites. They’re getting constant attention and validation and being pulled in all directions.

There was a time when “getting a number” actually meant something. You’d call her home and she’d pick up, you’d have an actual phone conversation, you’d set up a date and she’d actually show up. It sounds like something from the Jurassic period but the older guys here will attest to this.

Now it’s 2012. How many threads have we read here where a guy seemingly has a great interaction with a girl in a club or during the day and gets the number, only to have the girl screen out his call or ignore his texts a few days later? “Flaking” as a verb didn’t exist in the 90s or earlier – flakes were something that came with dandruff.

It’s funny to read guys in here still crowing about getting numbers. Fellas, numbers means nothing. How many of those numbers are translating to dates and lays?

Girls today give out their number like candy on Halloween. Girls will give out their number to get rid of you. Girls will give out their number just to get their egos validated from constant texts. Girls will give out their number even when they have no intention of seeing you again.

Now guys will come on here and say that it’s all a numbers game – that you need to talk to 100 girls and get 20 numbers, play these little text games, and maybe get 3 dates out of it.

Who has time for that sh*t? I have other demands on my time – I work, I study, I work out, volunteer, have hobbies, and spend time with family and friends. Far better to invest in one quality interaction with one quality girl that I’ll be assured of eventually dating and laying.

What are some tips for adjusting to game in the smartphone era?

[Mark]

http://postmasculine.com/how-to-get-laid...-and-clubs
http://postmasculine.com/phone-numbers

And I take issue with classifying new social technology as "female centric." Men gain enormous dating advantages from this technology as well. You can complain about girls getting attention in more ways than ever before, but 30 years ago, men weren't able to text 10 girls at once either.

Just be careful with the gender stereotyping, it doesn't help anyone to think in those terms.

[baller08]

Mace has a point that women have more ways to get attention but men also have more ways to get women.

Attraction is attraction. Just because the process takes place over a different medium doesn't mean the core obstacles aren't the same. Example: in the past girls put a poster of a celebrity crush on their bedroom wall or binder. Today it's on their Facebook wall or iPhone background.

In the past the old excuse was, "I have to wash my hair". When the guy called the house, she just tell her sister to tell him she wasn't home. Flakes might be a new word, but it's not a new concept. If a girls likes you, she's going to make time for you. If she doesn't, she'll find an excuse to avoid you. That won't change past, present, or future.

If you're a strong, attractive, interesting man who has options in his life, you would succeed in 1966 or 2066. Our core attraction process hasn't and isn't going to change any time soon.

[Drewid]

Good point. These days the options are just tactical instead of strategic.

[SeXyBaCk]

It's all there in the articles Mark posted. If you go around simply number-hunting, it's "in the nature of the game" that a significant amount won't pick up or respond. Invest in yourself above anything else and you'll get less flakes.

I feel facebook and the other public profile sites do cater to (female?) curiosity, rather than inflating egos. Most women I know like checking people out: finding out who their friends are, if there are any pictures or comments from ex's, where they have been etc. Facebook pretty much compiles a lot of info about someone in one location. That's my take on social media. It's more for finding out about folks than ego walling. I'm sure there's game theory out there somewhere on how to make attractive online profiles as well.

If you're talking to someone and they bring out their phone and start playing with it it just means they're not feeling you and it's time to walk on.

[IdEngager]

I'm a man and I love my smartphone. Does that mean I'm a female inside? I survived quite a few years without it, but it sure has helped me not get lost, exchange messages with my boss and various gigs, make sure I'm appropriately dressed for whatever weather's out, quench my insatiable need for knowing the score of the Dodger's game...

But I digress. Smartphones, social media, online dating should never be a crutch. Some people are really good at escalating via text, some people can write great messages on OKCupid, some people can turn themselves into Internet stars. Good for them. And I have seen some of the attention some of my female friends get online. It can be absurd, bizarre, whatever you wanna make of it.

But I don't think anything can really replace the shared experiences you have with someone in person. Keep your eyes on the prize. A million guys can holla at your girl online but is she going home with a million fellas at night? Concentrate on improving your interactions with people in person.