What did you just finish reading? The Book Discussion Thread

[The Notorious PhD]

Since y'all seem like such a well-read bunch, I thought it would be a good idea to start a thread where people can post review of books they've recently finished and others can ask about recommendations based on interests.

I just finished Steve Jobs by Walter Isaacson. It's a damn good read. Jobs is too nuanced for cohesive a summary, but I'll say, for example, that if you want to see someone who asserted the hell out of their identity (both the good and the bad), I can't think of a more relevant contemporary example. A perfect example of consummate obsession with making something great.

Some bits:

Andy Hertzfeld once told me, “The one question I’d truly love Steve to answer is, ‘Why are you sometimes so mean?’” Even his family members wondered whether he simply lacked the filter that restrains people from venting their wounding thoughts or willfully bypassed it. Jobs claimed it was the former. “This is who I am, and you can’t expect me to be someone I’m not"

On how to be a good CEO:

"We talked a lot about focus. And choosing people. How to know who to trust, and how to build a team of lieutenants he can count on. I described the blocking and tackling he would have to do to keep the company from getting flabby or being larded with B players. The main thing I stressed was focus. Figure out what Google wants to be when it grows up. It’s now all over the map. What are the five products you want to focus on? Get rid of the rest, because they’re dragging you down. They’re turning you into Microsoft. They’re causing you to turn out products that are adequate but not great."

Interestingly, there's a story of Bill Gates and Warren Buffett at some dinner party and someone asked what was the main trait that had made both men so successful (in two very different areas). Both of them said the same thing: Focus.

[Salaam]

I'm currently reading "Conscious Communication - How to Establish Healthy Relationships and Resolve Conflict Peacefully while Maintaining Independence" by Miles Shert.

http://www.amazon.com/Conscious-Communic...1934938602

Its about learning to communicate in ways beyond the social scripts we were inoculated with while growing up and listening and responding in a way that validates the person's experience your talking with while also respecting your own boundaries.

Pairing the concepts in this book with an increased understanding/capability in meta conversation has drastically improved my communication skills.

[crazyhorse]

I'm currently reading "Give and change the world" by Bill Clinton

I actually never realized that charity could be so small and yet so globally effective. If you're interested in volunteer work, then I would highly suggest you to pick up this book.

I've actually written a couple of ideas down which amazed me a lot:

- Chess in school: this is a program for kids who go to school in poor neighboorhouds. The people who started the project believed that this would help these students with their concentration skills and help them comprehend material better. And it worked, these schools now perform better then most schools in good neighbourhoods.
- Doc to Dock: this is a project where american hospitals send away medical tools and equipment to poor countries.
- Dress for Success: people who have been unemployed for a long time can get a nice suit thanks to this organisation.
- Backpack Club: people who are poor can now buy food packages up to 3,5 - 5 kg for 2-3 dollars! The reason why they used the word backpack was, because orignally, these people got bullied because they were poor and people could see it because they were carrying a food package. But now they have backpacks and these could contain books just as well.
- America reads: this is a project where people help other people on how to read.
- Ready 4 work: a program where they helped people who have commited crimes to get back to work. And it works, the program costs 4500 dollar per person, whereas a cel costs 25.000-40.000 dollar per person, each year. To quote its effectiveness by the words of Gerald Dove "It's hard to do something that you've never seen anybody do before". This person had no idea that you could earn money and be a good citizen.

Only about 1,9% of the 4800 participants returned to prison within 6 months and only 5% after a year.

I was really amazed by all these amazing in initiatives.

[Mark]

I just finished reading Hypnotica's book "Metawhore." Was underwhelmed and a little disappointed, he was always one of the few guys in the industry that I thought highly of.

[Tim]

I'm about a third of the way through Midnight's Children by Salman Rushdie. I like it enough that I'll finish it, but it's been slow-going because I haven't enjoyed it anywhere near as much as The Satanic Verses. I felt that was an absolute masterpiece, and one of the most enjoyable books I've ever read. I think I'd recommend that first if someone wanted to start with his stuff.

[The Notorious PhD]

@Mark - I just saw the description on Amazon...looks interesting. In what ways does the book fail to deliver? I'm mostly curious about how Hypnotica went about on his journey to figure out who he really is, does the book not do a good job of explaining that process?

[ThatCatch]

Sweet thread I read a lot, so I'll probably post every so often in this thread.

I just got done reading Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand. An awesome book, although a bit long-winded. I got near the end and saw that 60 page monologue. Managed to slug through 20 pages, flip to the last two and read those. Felt like I didn't miss anything in the skipped 40. Anyways, I really liked this book; it made me really re-establish or at least re-evaluate a lot of my beliefs. A world exactly like hers would not work, but some of the ideas I have adopted to my own.

To boil it down, I agree with man living by his own standard, and not feeling guilt because of someone else's moral code. Also, I do think achievements can sum a man, although not necessarily by the magnitude, but how far they have come. Finally, I'd also agree that the needs of many do not cancel out the life of even one person.
[recommended]
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I'm also reading The end of Overeating by David Kesseler. It basically details the American diet and just how we have spiraled out of control with our diet. It is also starts giving details on how to change the habit of overeating specifically, along with general guidelines that seem to be very useful in ending other habits (I have yet to try them, but I plan on implementing them). It is an extremely easy read, I'd recommend it as well.
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Finally, I'm reading Practical Programming by Rippetoe and Kilgore. A little out of place here, but what the hell. An okay book, I'm about halfway through. If you want to know some basic physiology of the human body, as well as how to program your own training routines, this is a good book. The problem for me is that I already knew the majority of this stuff and it just now starts to get into programming ~100 pages in.

It's been good tying some things together for me, and if you want to know this stuff it's probably good. But it's just a little underwhelming since I know most of it. Hopefully it gets better.
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After these three are finished, it's on to How to Win Friends and Influence People, Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Slayer, and The Godfather.

[Chaos]

Ufff, reading right now: Models (again), the new Clarisse book (The S&M Feminist) and a Storm of Swords.

Last one was Man's search for meaning.

[Mark]

(06-13-2012 07:14 PM)The Notorious PhD Wrote:  @Mark - I just saw the description on Amazon...looks interesting. In what ways does the book fail to deliver? I'm mostly curious about how Hypnotica went about on his journey to figure out who he really is, does the book not do a good job of explaining that process?

I mean, if you're interested in how he "found out who he is" then I suppose yeah, he does that... in his own way. He certainly follows his own path and does some pretty extreme stuff for no other reason than he wants to. So if you're looking for that, then yeah, I guess that's cool. He's a fascinating guy and has definitely lived through some interesting experiences. But my major gripes with the book were:

1) The book presents itself as a more conscious and informed perspective on being promiscuous and sleeping with a lot of women. It does this by detailing his personal and sexual journey throughout his life. Although his stories are interesting and funny at times (i.e. being a stripper at a gay club), the sexual escapades are fairly superficial and I actually found myself skipping many of the sex scenes by the end of it. I mean, maybe part of it is because I'm pretty sexually experienced as well, and therefore wasn't shocked. But it felt very repetitive and for casual hook ups, seemed to take itself very seriously.

The irony here is that he warns repeatedly throughout the book to not base your entire life and purpose on women and sex... yet, if we're to take the book as a good representation of his life, that's exactly what he's done.

2) For all of his talk about women, sex, intimacy, souls, etc., there is a deafening silence when it comes to relationships he's had. He mentions love once in passing and we only learn about one girlfriend he's ever had and that was only for him to talk about how he used to prematurely ejaculate when he was 18. For a guy who portends to have deep, powerful experiences with women consistently, the book never gets out of the shallow end.

3) Not counting his adolescence (when everyone's an idiot), never do we hear about major life mistakes, regrets, doubts about himself, disasters, or massive failures. Everything in the book is framed as a challenge that he's overcome and learned from, or something awesome he did.

4) It's poorly written. Trudging through the first 20% or so is particularly rough since everything that happens to him up until age 20 is pretty average, yet for some reason he insisted on writing it all out. I think if he had skipped his childhood and spent that space talking about his relationships and insecurities, it would have been a MUCH better book.

What I will give him credit for is that he has balls and when he wants to push his limits, he does it, and does it in a big way. These parts of the book are the most interesting.

But he doesn't seem to always process it well. He gets very philosophical and preachy at times. For a guy who runs a strip club for a living, has no higher education, and wrote an entire book about women without mentioning a single significant non-casual sexual relationship, he sure does take himself seriously.

Like I said, Hypnotica was one of the few guys in the industry that I never lost respect for. I had high hopes for the book, but I came out the end of it thinking less of him for it. Had I not been involved in PUA, I probably wouldn't have even finished it.

[Edmond Dantès]

Books, I finished this week:

- Macbeth by Shakespeare
- The Old Men and the Sea by Hemingway (read it on Mark's recommendation based on his book review - article. Didn't like the ending, too sad. But one of Hemingways stories, I liked.)
- Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad (a hell of a book, couldn't stop reading it, took me about 4 hours to read through it, absolutely loved it)

Books, I'm reading right now:

- The Hero With A Thousand Faces by Joseph Campbell (really interesting one, but hard to read, it's about all the similarities and commonalities between myths and stories that are told all around the world and their role as a sharing tool for deep truths and wisdoms. I found a lot of similiarities to my self development story so far, that's why I keep reading it.

- Getting things done by David Allen (another forum recommendation. Started it a few days ago. I like it so far, but I'm sceptical, if the system is applicable in the longrun.

[The Notorious PhD]

@Mark - Thanks for the review. Given where I'm starting as someone who doesn't push limits at all I could learn a few things. I'll check it out. Are there other autobiographical works you know of that would suit the purpose more? I suppose your book will be something like that. Btw, if you need help proof-reading a certain chapter about a certain someone, do let me know

@Edmond - I second Heart of Darkness - pure awesome.

@Tim - Hm, I wonder why you didn't like Midnight's Children as much. It might be because Rushdie, as well as other Indians writing in English, tend to rely a lot on vernacular to convey meaning and humor, and it's hard to catch when. I laughed out loud when he described Padma as "dung goddess" because in Punjabi it translates as "shit mother".

[Tim]

Notorious PHD it's true that Satanic Verse's sense of humour was more western accessible. I think it's a few things though; more interesting characters, the blend of Indian and British culture is explored with more depth, and the overall plot had much more momentum and unpredictability. I mean, I don't know what's going to happen in the book, but it doesn't keep grabbing me. Parts are good. Overall I still like it, I just think he hit another level with the Satanic Verses. Might have been better to read them the other way around.

[Alvar]

You guys sold me into the Heart of Darkness. I just got a copy.

I'm done listening to the audio version of "Sway: the irresistible pull of Irrational behaviour." It's a nice collection of psychological effects affecting our minds and decisions but if you read any other books on (ir)rationality and decision making the book won't bring much surprise. In that sense I'd say it's quite similar to "59 seconds".

There is a nice study on the book, an example of the Chameleon effect, that demonstrates pretty convincingly how our expectations can affect other's behaviour: volunteer men were instructed to call ladies, being given the women bios and show a photo beforehand. Before calling they had to complete a survey about their impressions of the women: obviously they rated the pretty ones as more sociable and poised than the regular looking ones, regardless of the bio... They didn't know that the pics were fake
After the conversation,a third group of participants complete a survey based only on hearing the women side of the phone conversation - the men parts were not show to them. Their impressions about the wome were pretty much the same as the men had formed before the conversation. Just by listening to the women speak they could pick on the impressions of the men even though they were only rating the ladies as they "really" were...
What initially had been reality in the minds of the men became reality in the behavior of the women….being thought of as beautiful made the women actually think of themselves as beautiful and exhibit ‘beauty’ in their conversations.”" Expectations Can Create Reality: On the Self-Fulfilling Nature of Social Stereotypes.

[Mark]

@Notorious: Yes, my book will be constructed in a similar way, although my book will focus almost entirely on the past six years rather than my whole life (sorry, other than some drug experiences and a divorce, my childhood and adolescence were painfully normal and privileged). There will also be a greater focus on emotional development and ups and downs rather than just how many times I got laid and with who.

As for biographies of people who just didn't give a fuck and did what they wanted, check out some of the rock star biographies... Slash's was a fun read. Nikki Sixx's is supposed to be insane. Anthony Keidis.

I really enjoyed Miles Davis' autobiography, although I'm a bit of a music nerd. I was already a fan of his and even I underestimated how influential he was on modern music. There are also some hilarious anecdotes of how he dealt with racism. I.e., he was dating a white movie star in the late 1950's and was walking her out to his sportscar. A white police officer walked up and in a very rude tone said, "Excuse me ma'am, but if you'd prefer me to take you home instead of a negro, I can give you a ride." Miles Davis punched the cop in the face without even thinking about it. Of course he got taken to jail and it was a big publicity mess, but he stood up for himself in front of the press and said the cop was a racist. This was before civil rights had taken off, so it was kind of a big deal.

I haven't read Teddy Roosevelt's biography, but he was a legit honey badger. Guy got shot at a campaign event and refused to go to the hospital until he finished reading his speech. Apparently the entire White House staff lined up outside and cried the day his term ended and he left.

[The Notorious PhD]

@Mark - cool, thanks for the suggestions. I'll add them all to the reading list. Looking forward to your next book. I've always been fascinated with case studies of success which aim to describe the process. Too often, I feel, the emphasis is just on the outcome, without a clear progression - like Steve Martin's observation on entertainer biographies in which, “suddenly the guy’s performing at the Copa, and you’re like: ‘how did that happen?”

Speaking of Steve Martin, Born Standing Up is another great autobiography.

In fresh prose, he details his struggles early in his career, the bouts of self-doubt he had, how he persisted despite set-backs, his painfully methodical approach to innovation in his acts, and finally his big break and subsequent tidal wave of fame.

Again, inspirational in that you see how pathological determination pays dividends. Take his attempt at learning the banjo, and finding initially that he had no aptitude for music “But I told myself, just stick with this, just keep playing, and one day you’ll have been playing for 40 years, and at this point, you’ll know how to play.”

Towards the end, Martin describes how he got depressed after he achieved rockstar status in the comedy world. Selling-out stadiums for an act became so effortless for him that he lost that motivational fire under his ass to continually improve. Not many people would react that way, and that might be why not many people achieve great things.

[Starsailor~]

Recently, i read Sex at Dawn by Christopher Ryan.

It's fascinating - offers a very different view of our natural sexual impulses than the traditional evolutionary narrative. The basic premise is: Before agriculture humans in hunter-gatherer tribes were polygamous, as are many modern-day tribal societies.
The conclusion: Monogamy is not our natural condition so we shouldn't be surprised at how difficult relationships can be. (actually, that's what I imagine their conclusion to be- they don't really spend much time on what their findings imply for the modern world)

It's one of the most thought-provoking books I've read this year.


Models: by Mark Manson

Probably the best book I've read on pick-up and is one of the three best products I've come across on the topic of success with women. (along with The Blueprint Decoded and Demonic Confidence)

Mark is a good writer. I especially liked his metaphor of meeting girls as "a treasure hunt"
Not sure if telling guys to start reading 100 books a year or learning to critique movies and music are necessary though!

How to Think More About Sex - Alain de Botton

A nice little philosophical look at some of the sexual issues facing us in modern society. he has interesting things to say about adultery, fetishes and long-term relationships.

The Moral Landscape by Sam Harris: Great read. His argument is that science / reason can and should be a driving force for our morality. He pisses all over proponents of moral relativism and, as in his previous books, tears religion a new arse-hole.
Very persuasively argued.

The Count of Monte Cristo: Great story, well told. Has some amazing quotations too.

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage work: John Gottman
I really enjoyed this but about half the book is exercises to do with your partner. I couldn't do them as I'm not in a relationship so I can't really judge the until I have done them. I will say that all of the exercises relate to things I know have affected my previous relationships and I can imagine them working.

Sixkill: The last Spenser novel by the late, great Robert B Parker. Like all of his books, it's a masterclass in punchy writing and dialogue that rings true.

Following Through: Steve Levinson ; Life changing. The first self-help books that actually FORCED me to take action. Highly, highly recommended.

[Alvar]

The upside of irrationality. It should actually be called "predictable irrational 2" because there's very little support for irrational behaviour in the book.

Ariely is a great story teller, although perhaps a bit long winded. Some of the descriptions and introductions he makes are fairly long. On the other hand it's his story of dealing with his burning, the physical and emotional pain that gives character to the book. Unlike many other writes in the genre he does not present a succession of studies and dazzling conclusions, instead he picks a few and builds a story so that his readers will remember those few.

Ariely makes a great description of assortative mating: you go to a party, someone writes a number in every guest's forehead, which they can not see; your task is to goo about trying to find the person with the highest number that is willing to have a conversation with you. You try a 10, then a 9, then a 8, until you settle with a 4.


Some of the most memorable lessons of the book are 1) prizes/rewards beyond a certain point decrease performance and can cause people to choke (could you find an application for this in dating theory? humm.... ) 2) People adapt pretty fast. This is not new but the conclusions are surprising. You should do the painful task all at once (because you adapt) and interrupt the pleasant one (because...) Most of us do it the other way. His extrapolation to his own experience of meeting new people, who naturally react to his scars, as being more painful nowadays (his scars make him pretty... unattractive) because he does not meet that many people and thus, this painful experience is interrupted, leads me to think of other situations where mitigating the pain is not a benefit (dating/going out being one.) 3) The "identifiable victim effect": those that still find it hard to understand the millionaire vacation that the bullied grandma got should def read this chapter. A related study stuck with me: people primed to emotion gave more to an identified victim than to a tragedy; those primed to rationality chose to give less to an identified victim (emotional response) and to a tragedy affecting many people. This tells me that rational people, who don't "fall" for the emotion, tend to be less generous.
4) Men value looks more than women and, are also more likely to aim for women out of their league - and to be rewarded for it. That's from a study conducted in hotornot. 5) Many of our Decisions are a result of our emotions and these decisions can then be turned into life paths and identities (again, so applicable to dating.)
The book also includes other subjects, such as the faults with online dating, the Ikea effect, meaning at work and Ariely's struggle with his self-image in the dating market, the prince turned frog

[Mark]

Just finished "Happiness Trap" which is a self-help book based on ACT therapy. It's all pretty new. The book was poorly written but had some great ideas in it and put words around a lot of thoughts I've had before working with people.

[Dacu]

I'm sort of reading through the Tao Te Ching and Inner Chapters right now... It's not really some thing you can read front-to-cover as it's mostly what Taoists consider to be truisms. For a mind condition in the west some of it can take a while to read, mull over and contemplate until you eventually truly understand it.

I'd recommend the Tao Te Ching to anyone interested in Taoism from a beginners stand point but the Inner Chapters is a little more advanced. The Tao of Pooh and The Te of Piglet is also an excellent introductory book to Taoism.

[Always_on]

http://www.amazon.ca/Escape-Camp-14-Rema...0670023329

I just finished this book. Never been to Korea, but it intrigues me and this was a fascinating read. I have visited German concentration camps before, but this book still throws you for a loop because it describes events that are going on right now, within our lifetime. Really makes you appreciate living in a safe country, and very well written.

[Mark]

I love the Tao Te Ching. Have a beautiful hard cover copy stowed away somewhere at my mom's house.

Just finished Ryan Holiday's "Trust Me I'm Lying." it was great. A bit repetitive at times, but a real eye opener on how Internet media really works and how it's affecting society in many negative ways.

About halfway through "50 Shades of Grey." Reading it for work/cultural reasons. It wavers between being cringeworthy bad and tolerable.

[SeXyBaCk]

I gave 50 SoG a chance on the train, I really did. I couldn't do it. I could write so much better softcore erotica. I'm gonna give it a go when I'm retired.

[Google Adsense]

I finnished reading a couple weeks ago:

Fight club (novel) - The movie is sooooooooo much better. In the book, the narrator meets Tyler in a nudists beach while Tyler was building a sun clock with logs lol

Masculine Brain - Made me learn a lot about myself.

Now reading " The body language of love" wich preety much sucks as it is recycled form the book "Body Language" by the Pease couple. Reading "Emotional Intelligence" too.

[Jonny]

I have been interested in self knowledge most of my life and here are some books I have read which I felt have me a great influence on me:

The Drama of Being a Child: The Search for the True Self by Alice Miller
The Body Never Lies: The Lingering Effects of Cruel Parenting by Alice Miller
Honoring the Self: Self Esteem and Personal Transformation by Nathaniel Branden
Real Time Relationships: The Logic of Love by Stefan Molyneux (free audiobook)
On Truth The Tyranny of Illusion by Stefan Molyneux (free audiobook)
Self Therapy: A Step-By-Step Guide to Creating Wholeness and Healing Your Inner Child Using IFS by Jay Earley
Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman

I also recommend checking out libertarian and economic books to understand how voluntary the world is and how much it depends on relationships among people to function. Books by Hayek, Rothbard, Ron Paul, Ayn Rand and Hazlitt, etc. (you can find a lot of them online for free).

[Alvar]

Outliers, by Malcom Gladwell. I never liked a book so much that I disagree with the conclusions. The idea of more Microsofts or more top sports players is laughable. But this book makes the best case for humility, we are much more than what we think we are: we are the product of our environments, the circumstances that helped/hindered our ancestors, our cultures and sheer luck. He's arguing on exterior success but he's argument could much better suit the personal accomplishment success that we seek here. Makes perfect sense.