What are some good forums for dating and travel advice?

[Edmond Dantès]

For you guys, who didn't get it. My previous post was meant to be totally sarcastic.

[reeturn]

(08-13-2012 10:49 PM)baller08 Wrote:  Reesays - I don't dislike you. I don't know you. I dislike your attitude. You're not a realist. You're an excuse maker.

My help to you has been the exact same as it's always been: Change. Your. Thoughts.

this thread, you and I worked together

how do I change my thoughts when

1. everywhere I turn, people say me being brown will hold me back a lot in Europe
2. everywhere I turn, people say that European women exclusively prefer European men for "cultural' reasons
3. everywhere I turn, it is like there is truly no hope, as I truly lack experience with Europeans except for a conference trip where many were open and approachable, maybe it is because they were on vacation
4. I cannot even find basic info like where to go to do what, where to go to this or that, what to wear there to get the best results, etc.

come on, give me a lecture, tell me what it is I am missing, and I will read, in fact, ALL OF YOU criticize me, if it helps, I will make this my last post on the thread and just read the whole thread

[Traindom]

You ignore those people and find out for yourself. Break the cycle. Stop turning to those places.

For example, people say being ripped is genetic. I say, to hell with that. That's no reason not to try. Some say I can't balance engineering and other passions. Screw that. Don't ever let people or thoughts stunt your progress.

And explore! Find out which places are cool and which are not. As for what to wear, refer to the style book available here.

[reeturn]

ya, that is the issue, how do I find out before going there?

[Traindom]

I meant like when you're at the place on your own. I think people on this forum would give you advice about cool places occcasionally, if you were actually going to travel to those places.

[reeturn]

thing is, social issues are important, basically, I just want to know if Western European women have the same stereotype of Indians, generally, that women in the USA have.

I mean will I face a lot of issues and be told to get lost if I approach a group of women that happen to be White? I know Black guys would have no issues at all but as I said, Sweden has had issues with Muslim immigrants, how will that affect me?

---

Speaking of,

Mark, I read your article right here a few weeks ago, it kinda goes against what you said on this thread

http://postmasculine.com/america?utm_sou...gn=america

[Traindom]

If you approach women confidently and they tell you to get lost, they are doing you a favour. Any woman that would reject you based on your skin is not a woman worth your time. If anything, they would be making it easier to find the women that would be into you.

I can't tell you how certain races fare in those countries, sorry. But even if you don't find out, you'll be fine. If you're informed, great. Get to work. If not, that's okay too. Just stay safe and get to work.

Don't let a lack of information keep you from doing things.

[reeturn]

(08-14-2012 02:49 AM)Traindom Wrote:  If you approach women confidently and they tell you to get lost, they are doing you a favour. Any woman that would reject you based on your skin is not a woman worth your time. If anything, they would be making it easier to find the women that would be into you.

I can't tell you how certain races fare in those countries, sorry. But even if you don't find out, you'll be fine. If you're informed, great. Get to work. If not, that's okay too. Just stay safe and get to work.

Don't let a lack of information keep you from doing things.

that is the thing, like I am unsure

people have told me, hopefully mark chimes in, that women in Brazil and Latin American countries love lighter or white men, now I am not White but even when people say Indian, what comes to their head is Aziz Ansari

we are not even the same skin color, get it?

as I said, Brazil would be one country I would definitely love to do good in but when you have so many social barriers going against you, you kinda do get discouraged because that is such an obstacle to overcome in a countries where people say money lightens your skin

I just got through a sociology course this past summer

also, I am certain that some countries are tougher to get laid in than others, anyways, time for me to hit the bed

[Traindom]

I face the same thing with other Hispanics. If I mention I'm Puerto Rican, images will always pop up in their head, not necessarily all good ones.

Even worse, the second I speak Spanish, they tend to get on my ass about my accent. Puerto Ricans tend to skip the letter "s" in words. Not in the beginning, though. And we tend to pronounce "r"s like "l"s. It's seen as low-class and improper to others.

Imagine the biases that pop up the second I speak.

Now, I could feel ashamed and pity my circumstances, but I don't. In fact, I'm damn proud of my heritage and accent. I would never ever change that.

You have to frame your heritage in positive way. Be damn proud of it. Screw anyone who makes you think otherwise.

The people who are able to cherish me as I am, are the only ones that matter.

Don't worry about social barriers or how your circumstances limit you. Focus on the opportunities you do have and how your circumstances make you unique.

You have something to offer to this world. Don't let others take that away from you.

[SeXyBaCk]

(08-14-2012 02:07 AM)reeturn Wrote:  thing is, social issues are important, basically, I just want to know if Western European women have the same stereotype of Indians, generally, that women in the USA have.

I mean will I face a lot of issues and be told to get lost if I approach a group of women that happen to be White? I know Black guys would have no issues at all but as I said, Sweden has had issues with Muslim immigrants, how will that affect me?

What makes you think we know this stuff? I know that "indian men" as a general population aren't the most desired by white women. Why not? They think "short, either stocky with belly or very thin male with moustache in a cheap shirt and dirty fingernails". The stereotype in europe stems from tamil refugees, who stick together, are very clan-like, only marry amongst each other, work minimum wage jobs and don't really participate in public life. You're none of those things. Look at Thor, he's of indian descent, he's british, has his own business, is considerably older and doesn't get rejected for his race, quite the opposite. Some of the women I have dated said they wouldn't date indian guys, pretty much all said they wouldn't go out with a black guy. Is it true? Probably not, if they met some great guy, they'll gladly be with them. Really now, does this info help you at all? Anyone with mixed racial background will fair better in urban areas where there are less hicks and less old racist people. Everyone knows this. Why do you constantly have to be told over and over? Write it down, above your bed.

... what's with the muslims? Are you even a muslim? If not, this doesn't concern you.

Dude... you're still your own worst enemy. The word that keeps popping into my mind is "neurotic". Listen to what you just told us, you don't buy or do anything before you get all the the info, plan it down to the T, it's compulsive behaviour, it's beyond being prudent, frugal or cautious. You're preventing yourself from living by spending all your time doing preparations. Did you visit California? What happened there? Or is that still to come? What's going on?

You know how people overcome phobias? Exposure. You need to be exposed and have that aha-moment where you realise it's not such a big of a deal. You're postponing this inevitable process by this little information gathering project of yours. It's lame. And it's exhausting for the rest of us to witness it. The longer you go on with this the more detached from reality you become and your attractiveness sinks. What are you going to talk about women to? Racially motivated assaults in Schengen countries? Is race stuff really your passion?

Finally, stop trying to fault Marks article when you're the living, stinking proof of it. You've been sitting there for six months, claiming everyone hates you. No one gives a rats ass if you're indian or american or martian when you're in a bar and a having a good time. Your biggest problem is you don't know how or simply refused to have a good time.

Anyway I'm done Ree. You can't imagine the mental effort it takes and frustration it generates trying to think like you, even for just ten minutes. I can't see how anyone can stand being a therapist, mind boggling.

[Matty]

Sometimes i think baller just hangs out here and waits for Reesays to come on and knock him down a peg. SexyBack nailed it Reesays. It's not so much that your thoughts need to change, it's that you need to ACT in spite of them, which over time will change your beliefs. I'm convinced that's literally half of being successful, is having fears and doubts and acting anyway.

[Mark]

In Reesay's defense, if he's stuck in Bumfuck, Georgia, like he says he is, then there's not a whole lot of opportunity to act on his ambitions... therefore coming to the forum and mentally masturbating and driving us all crazy probably feels more productive to him than sitting around and doing nothing.

Either way, he does need to relax a little bit.

[Traindom]

That makes perfect sense. And it makes me wonder why he hasn't transferred if that is even an option. Although I'm sure he would have if he could without any problems.

[Mark]

Yes, and transfer ASAP. I started college at a state school in a small Texas town and it sucked. I transferred up to Boston and the whole game changed.

[reeturn]

Already sent in 3 applications to 3 different schools.

I am just really nervous, discouraged, and a bit caught off guard for my trip to Europe. Usually I hear of different kinds of men having success there and it gets me down that none from my background have had any success in areas like France, Sweden, Norway, Italy, etc. Then again, there is a good in every bad, I will say the idea of being an innovator does not sit well with me.

Now to Sexyback:

As I said, I cancelled my California trip to save up more for my trip to Europe. Also, muslim being that I am a lighter skinned Indian male that gets mistaken for Middle Eastern a lot.

Guess for once I will just have to get my hands dirty and see how it goes in Europe. As I said, picking up women in a foreign country is something I want to do but feel really discouraged about....

[Mark]

Quote:I am just really nervous, discouraged, and a bit caught off guard for my trip to Europe. Usually I hear of different kinds of men having success there and it gets me down that none from my background have had any success in areas like France, Sweden, Norway, Italy, etc. Then again, there is a good in every bad, I will say the idea of being an innovator does not sit well with me.

Your personality and attitude are going to have far more to do with your success than your race.

Honestly, as a first-time American backpacker (I assume you're going to do the hostel thing), you're going to have trouble meeting locals just because most of those countries get over-run with American backpackers every summer and the locals make a point to stay away from them. Throw on top of that you being way out of your comfort zone, the cultural disconnect, the language barriers, and I think you're going to end up with a far different experience than you've imagined in your head.

I would say go with the goal to see some amazing sites and make friends and have fun in the hostels with other backpackers. In my experience, nothing ruins a trip faster than, "OK, I'm in X country, I have to pick up a girl here!" Worry about enjoying yourself, getting out of your comfort zone, meeting people -- both local and travelers -- and just seeing where the adventures take you. If you end up with a girl, great. If not, that's fine too.

[SeXyBaCk]

Yeah, it's way more important to see cool stuff and learn about other cultures than getting your dick wet. It's likely some backpacker chick will climb into your bunk anyway, don't sweat it, it happens all the time. BTW backpackers are foreigners too, 100%. Where are you going? And stop fretting over the muslim thing, that's so 2005. I haven't properly let it at a muslim since 7/7 (joke btw). Wear a frigging cross if it makes you feel better.

You know, in some countries you'll be better received claiming to be indian over american. Actually, disregard I said this. I don't want you getting paranoid over being american next.

BTW you better fucking do this Ree.

[Matty]

(08-15-2012 04:37 AM)reeturn Wrote:  Already sent in 3 applications to 3 different schools.

I am just really nervous, discouraged, and a bit caught off guard for my trip to Europe. Usually I hear of different kinds of men having success there and it gets me down that none from my background have had any success in areas like France, Sweden, Norway, Italy, etc. Then again, there is a good in every bad, I will say the idea of being an innovator does not sit well with me.

Now to Sexyback:

As I said, I cancelled my California trip to save up more for my trip to Europe. Also, muslim being that I am a lighter skinned Indian male that gets mistaken for Middle Eastern a lot.

Guess for once I will just have to get my hands dirty and see how it goes in Europe. As I said, picking up women in a foreign country is something I want to do but feel really discouraged about....

You need to seriously take what you read on these travel forums with a BIG grain of salt. When i first moved to Korea I was told that id be covered in hot Asian girls, and that even fat ugly awkward guys had hot girlfriends. The reality was much MUCH different, in that i got a lot of attention for being a foreigner, but that's about it. How well white guys did with local woman usually wasnt too much different from back home, and often it was a more difficult process. This is just one example of how things get distorted on travel forums, as anecdotes vary.

Also, id warn you against taking the advice of long term expats in a country (the guys who have lived abroad in a certain country for many years). Paradoxically, these are often the WORST guys to listen to, because they're often disillusioned with there particular country. I noticed this on the Thailand forums, men who have lived Phucket or Bangkok for years, have been burned by a Thai girl, and now go around online windbagging about how all Thai girls are whores. Its pretty pathetic, but it happens a lot. Just something to keep in mind.