Until I can honestly say I can enjoy my life without women...

[Thenewguy]

I cannot TRULY enjoy my life with women... Is this the true lesson here?

Until I am living my life the way I want to (without women), following my passion(s), doing what makes me feel completely blissful at heart. I will never fully be confident around women... Is this the lesson?

If I don't have a passion that I can truly love and look forward to when I wake up in the morning, that makes me forget about everything else in the world while doing, the main thing that I will be focused on to fill that void, will be in fact, women.

And we all know why that's bad... Is this the lesson?


What inspired this post was that I was actually looking for my true passion. Well... I've known for a while that my passion is exploration and seeing new things, but I'm slowly learning more about what gives me a certain feeling inside when I think about it. But most of these things that I want to do cost money to start and continue... which as a college student I lack... but that topic is for another day.

[Chaos]

(06-04-2012 09:36 AM)Thenewguy Wrote:  I cannot TRULY enjoy my life with women... Is this the true lesson here?

Until I am living my life the way I want to (without women), following my passion(s), doing what makes me feel completely blissful at heart. I will never fully be confident around women... Is this the lesson?

If I don't have a passion that I can truly love and look forward to when I wake up in the morning, that makes me forget about everything else in the world while doing, the main thing that I will be focused on to fill that void, will be in fact, women.

And we all know why that's bad... Is this the lesson?


What inspired this post was that I was actually looking for my true passion. Well... I've known for a while that my passion is exploration and seeing new things, but I'm slowly learning more about what gives me a certain feeling inside when I think about it. But most of these things that I want to do cost money to start and continue... which as a college student I lack... but that topic is for another day.

No, that's not the lesson. That's just another delay excuse like "when I've worked on my looks I'll be able to approach women" or "when I get enough money I'll get the ladies".

Following your passion, having money, having style, having great looks and being fit... that's not really that important. The important part is having the objective and working towards getting to it, even when sometimes that trip will take you somewhere else. Actually getting the objective is not important, the important part is being on the way to something because you're looking for something.

[Tim]

Any time you use women to try to build your own self-esteem, your experiences with them will be lessened. When you deal with the reasons you are using women to try to increase your own self-esteem, then your experiences with them will begin to make you happier. Working to find your 'passion', or the things in life that make you happy in themselves, can help with this.

Find out why you're trying to build your sense of purpose and self-esteem on women, and then work with that directly. Use investing time in yourself and your 'passion' to build real self-esteem instead. At first you might start off doing these things for women, but if you truly enjoy doing them, over time you can bring that motivation purely from the happiness they give you, and not because of what anyone else will think.

[Alvar]

What Chaos said.

But notice: if you are actively looking for your passion, even if you haven't find one, you are already on your path. Very few people know their passion and true goal in life. Most pretend they don't have one. You must accept that finding it is a serendipitous process, and probably won't come easy. In any case you must take action to find it (that's why actively is underlined above.)

[SFCM]

(06-04-2012 09:36 AM)Thenewguy Wrote:  I cannot TRULY enjoy my life with women... Is this the true lesson here?

You don't need women to be happy. You also don't really need to be happy to get a lot of women - any state short of clinically depressed will have an appeal to a significant number of women, although you may attract slightly higher numbers and higher quality ones with better moods.

You do need to face rejection and be OK with it. That's the hardest part. It only came for me with a lot of reps. There's no reason to wait - your life will pass you by.

[shadow]

Here is the deal with this passion stuff that I learnt after many years of "searching" for my passion.

1) Don't pressure yourself to find your passion. Maybe you have one, maybe you don't. It really doesn't matter. Try and enjoy the journey. Having said that, more than likely you have one and know what it is. Which brings us to

2) Most people don't have the balls to follow their passion. They are afraid to give up what they already have and take the risk with the unknown. Most people know what they like, they are just afraid to get out and do it.

[Thenewguy]

Thanks all of you for the advice. I should just learn to see my goal and just go for it. Which is of course, to travel the world. And actively trying to find a passion won't be as effective as letting it come to me through serendipity.