Tucker Max Retires, Grows a Heart

[Mark]

Excellent article on Tucker Max here: http://www.forbes.com/sites/michaelellsb...-the-game/

Covers his experiences, his choice to settle down, therapy, relationships, pick up advice, and even PUA's briefly. Highly recommend it.

[Guyintheback]

Thanks for the link.

I immensely enjoyed his first book. The article was very interesting as well, though it read a bit like a commercial for psychoanalysis.

[Alvar]

I quite liked reading it, but darn it, that writer is annoying.


If you do not enjoy clicking through 7 pages, here's the print page: http://www.forbes.com/sites/michaelellsb...ame/print/

[Trickster]

"That’s one of the good things about having had all the experiences I’ve had. Most people say stuff like, ‘I want someone who’s blonde’ or who has this education level or is this height. F*** that, that’s bullshit. I’ve come to learn that what really matters is the relationship, the quality of the relationship."

I guess everybody needs to grow up eventually. I liked reading that article, and he really does seem like a cooler guy now.

[CHB2]

Quote:
“I realized, I wasn’t as happy as I thought I would be. When I started writing in 2002, I thought, ‘Man, if I can just turn this into a career, then I’ll be happy.’ I didn’t just turn it into a career, I was a star. I went farther than I’d ever thought I’d go, and I thought that would be more than enough to make me happy, and it wasn’t.

“So I had to kind of take a step back and realize, ‘I have everything I thought I’d ever wanted and I’m not happy, so that means, maybe I need to look at myself.’ Maybe I need to figure some of this stuff out. If everything external is great, and there’s still internal problems, then you have to think then there must be an internal cause.”

So very true...

[Matt T]

My friend venerates this man like a god.

I wonder if he's seen this article.

[IdEngager]

I remember in college, back in the mid-2000s, hearing about this site from a friend and reading his stories in amazement (this was a bit before The Game exploded in popularity). In a probably related note, we sure liked to act like drunken jackasses back then.

[zkelvin]

Alvar Wrote:I quite liked reading it, but darn it, that writer is annoying.

Agreed. I'm really amazed that the icon of partying and playering has publicly admitted that it's an unhealthy lifestyle. I suspect that not enough dudes will see this article.

There was a discussion on another thread where RSD put out a video discussing vulnerability around the same time that Mark stated writing about vulnerability. According to the article, Tucker Max went into therapy about 9 months ago (and began accepting vulnerability). It's interesting that this idea of vulnerability among players came out around the same time.

This article leaves me wondering, though. I still want to rack up lays in my 20s, but I recognize that this isn't a permanent lifestyle, and that I'll eventually want to settle down. I definitely know that I have had some issues comparing myself to other people (not just dudes with lay counts, but academic, athletic, and career success) throughout my life. I'm wondering if I would feel more fulfilled if I continued to rack up lay counts for a while before addressing my issues, or if I should address this issue head on right now (I just recently turned 24).

I certainly couldn't imagine recommending to a 17-year old virgin that he has to stop worrying about getting laid and instead try to establish meaningful, fulfilling relationships. But I would give the opposite advice to a 35-year old player. So, certainly somewhere in the middle I'll need to make the transition.

What do you all think about when personal issues (like unhealthily comparing yourself to others) should be addressed?

[Guyintheback]

zkelvin Wrote:What do you all think about when personal issues (like unhealthily comparing yourself to others) should be addressed?

From my own experience: As soon as possible. These things just hold you back and reduce your life's quality, so as sooner you get rid of them, the better.

[Alvar]

Quote:This article leaves me wondering, though. I still want to rack up lays in my 20s, but I recognize that this isn't a permanent lifestyle, and that I'll eventually want to settle down. I definitely know that I have had some issues comparing myself to other people (not just dudes with lay counts, but academic, athletic, and career success) throughout my life. I'm wondering if I would feel more fulfilled if I continued to rack up lay counts for a while before addressing my issues, or if I should address this issue head on right now (I just recently turned 24).

Sounds like a bit of a false dilemma, doesn't it? Is your "dysfunctional" the only drive for getting lays? Why do you think that getting your head in order will kill your motivation for getting lays?
You can be healthy and want to have sex without committing to a LTR. It is ok if you give yourself permission. You'll also know better when you you want to be in a relationship.
Have a look at the underlying issues that keep you from improving your life.

Quote:There was a discussion on another thread where RSD put out a video discussing vulnerability around the same time that Mark stated writing about vulnerability.

Just for the record, there is at least one program from 2010, that discusses vulnerability in much the same terms that Mark and TD do. I think that the same guy has another program from 2008 where he touches lightly on this concept. So this is not as new as we may think.