This Latvian girl told me she has a boyfriend after 3 weeks

[Thor]

Met this latvian girl on the street. About a month ago. I approached her and told her how beautiful her hair looked in the sunshine. She stopped smiled and we began chatting. She said she had only been in the UK for a week. She told how friendly London was as five guys had approached her and chatted her up.

I was thinking oh no shes already been hit on !. I ignored her comment and invited her for a coffee we sat down and started chatting. We chatted about our home towns and what she wanted to do in London and how it was different from Latvia.

After an hour of chatting we exchanged numbers I told her we should meet again she seemed cool about this. A day later we exchanged a few texts. I invited her for a date the following week but she said she had to work. A few days later she texted me and said she was free to meet up for an hour after work but I told her I had already arranged to go to the gym that day.

The following week she had a cold so she couldnt meet. Then when I texted her the following week she said sorry I cant meet you I have a boyfriend.

I ignored her text didnt bother replying. I got really angry why is she telling me she has a boyfriend now ?

I felt alittle hurt I know it was my ego more then anything else. I was thinking if she did find someone else I hope she cheats on her and dumps her.

I felt depressed for few days. A few things ran through my mind why bother this with thsi bullshit. Maybe I am too nice to these bitches and need to be an asshole.

Why did she lie to me ?

[FirstAidKit]

Maybe she didn't have a boyfriend when she met you and she met someone else?

Maybe she wasn't super interested, liked the attention, but wanted to let you down gently?

You're not going to be able to control her reactions, I know it's tough but you have to not take being rejected too personally. Non-connection is the default state for most interactions, you just have to keep meeting people until you find ones you do work with.

[Thor]

Your right thanks for replying. I very sensitive deep down. Really need to get over this.

(04-01-2012 04:22 PM)FirstAidKit Wrote:  Maybe she didn't have a boyfriend when she met you and she met someone else?

Maybe she wasn't super interested, liked the attention, but wanted to let you down gently?

You're not going to be able to control her reactions, I know it's tough but you have to not take being rejected too personally. Non-connection is the default state for most interactions, you just have to keep meeting people until you find ones you do work with.

[FirstAidKit]

It's okay to be sensitive, it just helps a lot to step back and put things into perspective.

[Mark]

Yes, being sensitive is fine... I think it's even an advantage (I feel like I'm a very sensitive guy). It just means you have to exercise more control over your behaviors and feelings than most people.

Don't bury your emotions, hone them.

[Thor]

Mark can you please elaborate on what you mean by honeing your emotions ?

(04-02-2012 01:10 AM)Mark Wrote:  Yes, being sensitive is fine... I think it's even an advantage (I feel like I'm a very sensitive guy). It just means you have to exercise more control over your behaviors and feelings than most people.

Don't bury your emotions, hone them.

[Mark]

It's on the list of posts I want to write... but a simple example.

If a woman rejects you and hurts you, feeling the emotion is not a choice, but how you react to it is. You can 1) throw a tantrum, call her 100 times, break a bunch of shit, or 2) do something productive like go the gym and kill yourself in a work out thinking about how pissed off you are at her.

The emotions are natural. Resisting them makes them worse. Accept them and then channel them into productive behaviors. Will go into more depth on this later.

[Thor]

Thankyou Mark

(04-02-2012 07:43 PM)Mark Wrote:  It's on the list of posts I want to write... but a simple example.

If a woman rejects you and hurts you, feeling the emotion is not a choice, but how you react to it is. You can 1) throw a tantrum, call her 100 times, break a bunch of shit, or 2) do something productive like go the gym and kill yourself in a work out thinking about how pissed off you are at her.

The emotions are natural. Resisting them makes them worse. Accept them and then channel them into productive behaviors. Will go into more depth on this later.