Thinking about joining a lair.

[Brian]

(10-08-2012 08:53 AM)TooFastForLove Wrote:  Why is it called a "lair"? I feel like that word has a negative connotation to it.

Words have negative or positive meaning depends on how you assign to it. If it's negative, it's most likely your issue than the word itself.

The reason it's called a lair because the creators of the pua movement are probably ex dungeon and dragon players.

When you mention you want to join a "lair", it's pretty obvious what your intention is, which is to find a group of guys who are interested in picking up girls. Using a single word that convey a meaning that take several sentences, it makes a lot of sense to me.

[TheImptuous]

(10-08-2012 05:59 AM)bubblegum Wrote:  

(10-07-2012 11:50 PM)TheImptuous Wrote:  Any Boston-area dudes wanna start a lair that focuses first and foremost on building charisma? I just finished The Charisma Myth and it's right up my alley. I'm a disciple/cult follower of XMP, so I'm also into hypnosis, transactional analysis, and honesty/vulnerability.

I'm confused. Do you mean you are into those 3 things as side interests? Or as it relates to interacting with people?

They're not side interests, given how important I see them (especially TA), but I feel like charisma is kinda the sine qua non, plus it gives the most immediate returns; heightened charisma makes the other three that much easier to work with.

[Qlue]

I'm a member of a few local lairs. Some are messed up, some have normal people. Really, all you need is to find one cool and respectable person to go out with regularly. You do not, and shouldn't go out in groups. Going out in groups is a waste of time. Post a journal or an FR in your lair, so that you get credibility, then find a good wing and just hang out with him. If he's a shoddy or shitty character, or simply talks a lot and doesn't take action (and many are in these lairs) ditch him and find another good wing. You can tell who's a good wing by reading their FRs and journals.

Good luck.

[Novak]

Imptuous could you explain transactional analysis in relation to women and charisma, insight would be great

[Zac]

You know, I've kind of had a change of heart. I got a lot out of being in a lair. If you feel like you don't have many other options, fuck it, go for it. Good luck and tell us how that goes.

[TheImptuous]

(10-10-2012 02:33 AM)Novak Wrote:  Imptuous could you explain transactional analysis in relation to women and charisma, insight would be great

Transactional analysis is, in my view, the human psyche laid bare. It helps you understand interactions between people as they're happening as well as the larger scope of someone's life and why they do the things they do. It also helps you to know thyself, which is important in the self-actualization process.

However, simply understanding psychological motivations can't do much for you if you're terrible at interacting with people to begin with, and that's where the charisma quotient comes in.

Charisma is a social element that's necessary a priori if you wanna fuck. All the other hocus-pocus (TA, hypnosis, NLP, etc.) is kinda useless without it.

[Jon]

(10-08-2012 08:53 AM)TooFastForLove Wrote:  Why is it called a "lair"? I feel like that word has a negative connotation to it.

Because the term was coined by ross jeffries and he's a creepy fucker.

I remember TD pointed out that "lair" is quite possibly the worst possible name you could come up with for a group of guys meeting to discuss picking up women.

[Jon]

It might be worthwhile to set up a sticky where everybody lists their current location.

[TheImptuous]

Starbucks.

[Novak]

Definitely agree with some of the posts that a lair is definitely a little strange in terms I the people who show up...but definitely worth a try if you have never been. Happy I went to a meeting than out with them and got an idea of what it was all about

[Jack Sparrow]

Creatine Dreams,

Have you joined a lair??? Since you started the thread why not just do it !? And tell us what you think of it.

My only position on it is that don't let it be the focal point of your social life. As I said before, I met guys in lairs whose only friends are other lair guys. I think that's messed up. As long as you keep that in mind, go for it, meet some guys, and go out and hit on a lot of women.

Let us know what your experience is. I am curious.