The minimal obvious requirements to get good

[Jack Sparrow]

I remember when Magic Johnson was asked what was the most important attribute to be a great basketball player.

His answer - "Desire."

I know a lot of guys here want to really badly to be good with women. That's awesome. At least you got this most basic attributes. It's not surprising with 85% drop out rate (some people quoted), a lot of guys just don't want it badly enough.

Sometimes I feel the same. Maybe I am older now. My sexual appetite is not as hungry. I see women walking by and I don't have the screaming desire to go after them.

One of the real player I met. He told me in college, all the frat guys who used steroids for work out were getting laid a lot. He's reason was that they are just so horny that they are out prowling all the time for girls.

This brings me to another obvious element for success - "Energy".

Today I was chatting up this out of town girl on a business trip. I knew she has nothing to do tonight. I think I saw a wedding ring so it's a legitimate excuse not to pursue her. But to be honest, I was thinking of how early I have to wake up tomorrow morning for work. I just didn't have the energy to entertain the thought of instant date her.

When I got home, I didn't even feel like calling the 2 numbers I collected last week.

I work 50 hours a week. It's not a lot, but I have a feeling most guys who made dramatic progress in their dating life was not working more than 40 hours a week.

Also I can have mild depression at times. I exercise, I eat ok, but my baseline energy level is just a tad below average. Overall though I don't feel depressed as in negative thoughts etc. Just not super energetic.

I think a lot of guys who don't succeed in this endeavor are also mildly depressed.

I don't have a clear solution. Maybe I just feel a bit down tonight. I do think these two (Desire and Energy) are obvious building blocks for success. Without them, all the other technique, inner game matter won't help too much.

[SeXyBaCk]

You know, my best friend in middleschool had the coolest dad. The dad would take us golfing, sailing, go carting, had a nice car and house, always a smile on his face. Not once did I remember him out of sorts, even though we kids pulled some pretty annoying shit, my friend was fairly ADD. Anyway, the dad was a real winner, his own company, bit of money, smart, distinguished looking. Hell, even my mum fancied the guy. Then one day he just shot himself while his wife was having a shower not 2 metres away. Ever since I've been sceptic about people who are always chirpy and chipper and highly energised.

We all have mood swings. And I think it's important for our mental health to allow ourselves to live them out in the right setting. What I feel is important is to be able to snap oneself out of a funk. Brooding over issues becomes expansive when left unchecked. What helps me is a change of venue. I can be frustrated at work for things not going my way but when I step through the doors in the evening I do my best to leave what frustrated me behind me and move onto a different area of my life. Music or walking for instance make it easier to me to snap out of negative frame of mind. I'm sure meditation or relaxation techniques can do the same for others. What is key is the ability to channel and sunmon your energy when you need it.

[Chaos]

I find having the desire and the energy to be always having desire and energy isn't something I desire because it takes too much energy.

[Mark]

I would add "ability to accept feedback an adapt."

I've come across a number of guys who go out, approach 100's of women, fail every time and never change what they're doing or considered altering their strategy.

[Jack Sparrow]

(05-14-2012 07:54 PM)Mark Wrote:  I would add "ability to accept feedback an adapt."

I've come across a number of guys who go out, approach 100's of women, fail every time and never change what they're doing or considered altering their strategy.

I think that's how naturals got good. Other than a relentless desire to hunt for girls, they have very good self awareness, and the ability to self correct.

With just those 3 attributes - desire, energy, self-correcting, it's just a matter of time until a guy gets pretty good at getting women. Of course this only pertains to women. This doesn't mean they are happy, successful in life, or attract the right type of women. That's another whole set of issues.

[Creatine Dreams]

What about a huge cock and and an even larger bank account?