Sorry guys but I've been away for awhile. Seriously I had no internet for a very long time. You really can't imagine what kind of a handicap that is.
On the other hand I'm really glad with how this thread is progressing. There is some real gold in this thread. And I want to thank Mark for letting us do this. Cause I trully believe that this can be a life savior.
@sexyback. I really appreciate you're open minded attitude! Try it out and see how it goes and definetly keep us updated. But from what I read, you didn't seemed too heavy into this stuff. Which is good off course
But did you say you are less horny since you've stopped using porn? If you want you can always use a bikini magazine or so. It's just that with porn there is endless novelty, whereas with a bikini magazine it isn't.
This link illustrates what I mean
http://www.yourbrainonporn.com/boys-and-...rs-playboy
(05-25-2012 12:37 PM)Henryinwonderland Wrote: Hi Guys,
great thread!
I'm trying but apparently I can't do it. After a couple of days I feel an overwhelming urge to look at porn and to masturbate. I don't have any will power to fight it. I have it for other issues but for porn and masturbation it totally controls me. Also I'm looking at things I never used to watch like femdom, scat and so on...many based on women humiliating men, so I guess it's some psychological problem I have with women. I haven't had sex for two months now. I go out but I'm not interested in the girls I'm meeting, they all seem shallow and superficial.
At the start of the year I slept with a lot of girls, they all annoyed me and now I'm back alone. Masturbating and looking at porn.
I have a software that turns porn down, but whenever I feel the urge I switch it off. Also I work with the computer and I work alone, at home. Can't change that.
I'm sort of fucked.
I need to deal with this but whenever I try I overanalyze it, start reading articles and books, then implement it for a couple of days and then...I fall...
It's bad, it seems I'm helpless, strange feeling...
Sorry guys for throwing this out but didn't know who to talk to about it...
Then you've cefinetly come to the right place! First there's no need to be ashamed. If I think back about the hours that I've watched, then I'm feeling a bit weird myself. Your escalation into different types of porn doesn't necessarily reflect a negative attitud towards women. A lot of porn addicts are straight but they eventually end up watching gay or shemale porn. The reason? It provides a new shock effect, it's novelty. My guess is that your old genres started to appear rather boring after a while? Don't worry we've all been there.
I also wouldn't feel "bad" about yourself for not being able to resist so well. I'll you in on something, we're humans, we're usually not that good when it comes to resisting urges. I definetly wasn't good at this and I'm still not good at this. I think in the last 50 day period I had one relapse. My dad bought a new computer and I couldn't resist it. But I stopped after a 6 minutes and didn't contineu afterwards.
But a porn blocker could really help you. Maybe you can sign up to
http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com? This is a website where a lot of guys (and some women) talk about this addiction.
Don't worry you're definetly not alone.
(05-25-2012 06:40 PM)Majik Wrote: Hi Henryinwonderland,
keep trying mate, you will get there eventually. Maybe try setting yourself a short deadline, like 'I will go the rest of this week without porn' and take it from there.
I am no expert though, as I am officially back to day 1, as in today. I am thinking of trying a difffernet tactic. I said last time that I wasn't really counting, and I think I might try that again (even though I got further with counting days). Instead of thinking 'I have gone X amount of days without porn' I am going to make it more of a lifestyle choice, like 'I do not watch porn', in the same way that 'I do not take drugs' if you know what I mean? Will see what happens, but my willpower to not watch porn is very low at the moment. Wish I had a girl throwing herself at me like SeXyBaCk! haha
Ok, so one of the things I found on the yourbrainonporn website was this little tool called 'Cold Turkey' ( http://getcoldturkey.com/ ). I think it is pretty good, and not easy to over ride like K9 if you know the password. I typed in all of the porn sites I could think of (and I tend to use the same ones) and it changes something on your computer blocking you for up to 7 days.( You can buy it to make it 30 days). Now I just have to be strong every 7 days to block myself again. There is obviously a way to still get porn if you go to differnet sites, but I have made it much more difficult for myself. Removed the familiarity, or habit if you like, of cruising the same old sites. Hopefully that will help me break the habit
Hey Majik!
I have the feeling that you've made great progess
. Awesome! Be aware that if you have to block it every 7 days, it can become a bit dangerous. That's how a couple of relapses happenned with me.
What you can do with K9 is let somebody else keep the password for you. My brother is my password keeper and when I want to change something about my K9 settings, I always make sure he's arround. Just in case...
I just don't trust myself with this stuff.
(05-25-2012 08:38 PM)Brandnew Wrote: I just fapped. It's my day 7 of no porn. I was reading Patrick Carnes book on Cybersex Addiction, and he opinted out, that relapse doesn't happen in the heat of the moment but it's a chain of triggering events and Seemingly Unimportant Decisons.
What went wrong this time?
-Well, even thogh I was not watching porn I was checking gossip sites / popular portal for non nude galleries of big boobs (this is kryptonite for me, I guess I'm wired for fake tits, and since it's very uncommon in my country I'm wired for dissatisfaction)
-it's Friday, and I kinda wanted to go out, but procrastinated in front of computer till it got late, stayed home, got little frustrated and, you already know)
-my crush (or one-itis if you prefer) contacted me on facebook yesterday. I like her a lot, but she told methat she is not interested in having parnet right now and want friends, so I decided it would be the best not to see her for a while. Then she contacted me for no apparent reason with this "longtime no see" bs and even though I finished the conversation rather coldly and did not suggested any meeting or desire for next contact I felf sad afterwards. And I felt like crap Today at work, could that be withdrawal from her because I decided not to see her
-my apartment is a mess, and theres not much food in my fridge, and I was cleaning my place which for some reasons is a stress for me
Anyway, I gotta be more careful now, because chaser effect works really strong for me. Guess I'll just go to bed soon and meditate a little bit. It's sex days since my last MO and Im like to keep this ratio or even decrease it.
(05-25-2012 08:38 PM)Brandnew Wrote: I just fapped. It's my day 7 of no porn. I was reading Patrick Carnes book on Cybersex Addiction, and he opinted out, that relapse doesn't happen in the heat of the moment but it's a chain of triggering events and Seemingly Unimportant Decisons.
What went wrong this time?
-Well, even thogh I was not watching porn I was checking gossip sites / popular portal for non nude galleries of big boobs (this is kryptonite for me, I guess I'm wired for fake tits, and since it's very uncommon in my country I'm wired for dissatisfaction)
-it's Friday, and I kinda wanted to go out, but procrastinated in front of computer till it got late, stayed home, got little frustrated and, you already know)
-my crush (or one-itis if you prefer) contacted me on facebook yesterday. I like her a lot, but she told methat she is not interested in having parnet right now and want friends, so I decided it would be the best not to see her for a while. Then she contacted me for no apparent reason with this "longtime no see" bs and even though I finished the conversation rather coldly and did not suggested any meeting or desire for next contact I felf sad afterwards. And I felt like crap Today at work, could that be withdrawal from her because I decided not to see her
-my apartment is a mess, and theres not much food in my fridge, and I was cleaning my place which for some reasons is a stress for me
Anyway, I gotta be more careful now, because chaser effect works really strong for me. Guess I'll just go to bed soon and meditate a little bit. It's sex days since my last MO and Im like to keep this ratio or even decrease it.
A new member it seems
, welcome!
Is there a way that you can prevent this relapse in the future? Perhaps you can block certain websites? This can really crucial. If you keep looking at relapses this way, there will always be more days between them.
Boredome is a really big trigger. It's insane, but you're bored and you just started typing some woords and there you go, a breach in K9. haha. I've used k9safesearch for that matter.
But K9 isn't without defaults, sometimes it can block websites that really arn't porn. You can always change this again in your K9 settings.
On the other hand, definetly congratulate yourself for your first 7 days without PMO! That in itself is already a great stepp in the right direction. You will always get stronger at this, so just keep going. And if you have questions definetly report them in this thread.
on my own situation: I've had one relapse on my dad's new laptop. That's right we now have six computers in my house. *sigh* But during this period there were a couple of slip-ups where I started watching some stuff that I found through a breach. Granted I've blocked all of that stuff. I'll probably write up a reboot experience within a month or 2. I'll do it when I'm ready for it. But I can already say that a lot has already changed.
(05-26-2012 10:35 AM)Majik Wrote: Sorry for my ignorance, and I have tried to look it up, but what is the 'chaser effect'?
Chaser means the urge to do it again:
http://www.yourbrainonporn.com/do-you-ne...-after-sex
