Speed dating...

[Andy]

So I decided to go for a speed dating event last night, and out of the 10 girls I "chose" I only got 3 matches. All in all I still had quite a lot of fun, and was an interesting experience for me. I'm curious, has anyone on here done this before? If so, what type of things do you reckon women judge you based on? Body language, voice tonality, looks, all of the above? Or is it just so random that people aren't sure who to pick unless you really stand out... What are your thoughts/ideas?

Ps. I found it was kind of like doing approaches, the only difference being that you don't really get to choose who you meet, as it depends entirely on who signs up.

[Mark]

I've never done it, but I'd like to one day. My guess is it's just like any other approach situation, except like you said, you're not always physically attracted to the person.

[Schmechti]

I've done it once and will do it a few more times. It's more like a warm approach and thus different than normal daygame.

Andy, what did you talked about? I usually start to qualify the girls early because they already know we want to get to know each other. It's kinda like a direct approach.

Any suggestions, Mark?

[Andy]

Schmechti Wrote:Andy, what did you talked about? I usually start to qualify the girls early because they already know we want to get to know each other. It's kinda like a direct approach.

I think this is where I actually went wrong (sort of). I realized afterwards that I wasn't really asking the girls enough about themselves (qualifying), but rather talking about random stuff, maybe it turned some of them off..? You make a good point in that everyone already knows everyone else there is looking to meet someone, so you probably just need to present yourself well in the 3-4 short minutes that you have.

[8_Ball]

Were any really attractive women there?

I thought that only "female leftovers" (sorry for that word, but you know what I mean) do speed dating. I mean if a girl is (kinda)= attractive and has a good character, she usually doesn´t have problems to get attractive guys to know and therefore doesn´t need speed dating.

[Schmechti]

Andy Wrote:I think this is where I actually went wrong (sort of). I realized afterwards that I wasn't really asking the girls enough about themselves (qualifying), but rather talking about random stuff, maybe it turned some of them off..? You make a good point in that everyone already knows everyone else there is looking to meet someone, so you probably just need to present yourself well in the 3-4 short minutes that you have.

What I usually do is, I ask them something like "Name three character traits that differentiate you from other women?". This is a strong qualification (you can do it right from the beginning as this is a speed-dating and not a cold approach on the street) and I'm showing her two things: (1) I'm picky and (2) I don't get fooled by her beauty. Usually they've heard this question for the first time and they've to think about the answer.

[Andy]

8_Ball Wrote:Were any really attractive women there?

I thought that only "female leftovers" (sorry for that word, but you know what I mean) do speed dating. I mean if a girl is (kinda)= attractive and has a good character, she usually doesn´t have problems to get attractive guys to know and therefore doesn´t need speed dating.

To my surprise, yes there were a few (IMO) really physically attractive women at the event.

Re: female leftovers doing speed dating.. I wouldn't be so sure about that. It's like saying "only bitches go to clubs" or something similar. Then again I haven't met + gone out with enough girls from these speed dating events to give a real opinion based on solid experiences.

[Andy]

Schmechti Wrote:What I usually do is, I ask them something like "Name three character traits that differentiate you from other women?". This is a strong qualification (you can do it right from the beginning as this is a speed-dating and not a cold approach on the street) and I'm showing her two things: (1) I'm picky and (2) I don't get fooled by her beauty. Usually they've heard this question for the first time and they've to think about the answer.

Great idea! I'll do this next time if I go to one of these things again (and I probably will).

[Prague]

>Were any really attractive women there?

We live in a city where you see attractive girls EVERYWHERE..even at a Honza convention.

I think it's important to do at least one bit of qualifying before you go to the next girl.

Other than that, raw hard experience will help. If Andy does 4 speed dating events in a month, I'd expect by night number 4 all the Honzas will be asking him how he does it.

I'd like to go to the next too btw so hit me up about it

[Andy]

Lol "Honza convention". We should maybe mention this but me + Prague (above) actually live in Prague, Czech Republic. Yes there are lots of hot women everywhere, literally. So you never feel there is a shortage of women around.

Re: speed dating part 2. Will let you know when I'm doing it again...

[Alvar]

I'm adding Prague to my list of cities to visit while single

I've never done speed dating myself. On 59 Seconds Wiseman quotes some study(ies) that, IIRC, endorse the qualifying type of behaviour. He suggests that ticking all boxes in hope of maximizing your amount of dates is negative (should be obvious why) and that the bets rated daters ask challenging questions like "if you were a pizza topping, which one would you be". I recall someone else telling of some guy that did great, he basically started with a standoffish posture, turned away from the girls, and slowly turned to them, as if they were to earn his attention.

And there's mirroring, although the point is probably to let yourself fall into it, not to fake it...


[video=youtube;wdNohtWGCiw]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wdNohtWGCiw[/video]