Society/Corporate America restricts Masculine behavior

[Nero]

In today's age there are too many rules/regulations on how we are "supposed to behave." I went to go visit my friend at work (the mall) and his job is to talk to customers and help them shop. An girl walks in and he finds her attractive so he walks up to her and asks can I help you with anything? So they're talking and he casually asks her what her occupation was. Twenty minutes later his manager calls him over and tells him to clock out and go home. Just like that he was fired. Apparently she told his manager that he was asking her personal questions and she felt disrespected.

I was there during the whole conversation and non of it was sexual, or disrespectful in any way, it was just casual chit chat. My friend was fired on the spot just like that, no questions asked.

This is just an extreme example of society and it's hold on our behavior as men. What can we do about this as men? How can we be more masculine when society has us in chains?

[Matt T]

Well, it's always risky to hit on people while at work...

[Mark]

Well, I think the point is that he WASN'T hitting on her. He was just talking to her normally.

I think one needs to take a step back and look at the bigger picture here. Yeah, what happened to your buddy was unfair. But it's more complicated than just saying "men are in chains" or whatever. Women are in chains in many ways too. They have to deal with harassment and unwanted attention a lot. I'm not saying it's better or worse or what happened to your friend is OK... I'm just saying it's complicated and claiming "men are in chains" is not completely accurate. I would say that Americans just live in a very uptight culture.

What you've got here is basically a damsel in distress situation. If a guy complained to the manager, chances are the manager would have thought he was a weirdo and brushed it off. But because it was a hot girl, the manager assumed your buddy was coming on to her and that that was inappropriate. The situation very much plays out in the way of classic gender roles: women are helpless and need to be saved by a man. And I think that if guys are going to gripe about how women aren't feminine anymore, how they behave in a masculine way and how they aren't affectionate enough, they can't have it both ways and complain about situations like this. Gender roles hurt and help both men and women in different arenas.

So yeah, the girl was a bitch. And yeah, the manager is probably a douchebag. And your friend got unlucky. But you can't take a basic situation and make grand statements about the state of men in society today. It gets a lot more complicated than that. Both genders have more than enough valid complaints.

Who I would be mad with here is the manager. As a manager, he should have at least heard your friend's side of the story. As far as the girl goes, misunderstandings happen, maybe she heard something your friend said the wrong way, maybe he came off the wrong way, maybe she's got some serious trust issues with men, whatever. Shit happens. But the manager should be making an informed decision and it was unfair not to.

[Halo Effect]

This reminds me of all the completely psycho insane stories I've heard about Americans suing each other for anything and everything. Not accepting that others can make mistakes, helping each other out, being sympathetic and understanding. In stead being hostile and bitter and treating everybody in society as an enemy (who you can potentially use for money). It seems like Europeans (and Asians, and hopefully all other continents too) are far more laid back.

You should see how the "sales coaches" interact with the female employees where I work. They tease them mercilessly, and I've seen them hug and literally pick the girls up. The girls just giggle and enjoy it.

[Jon]

This is not an example of how men are treated like shit in our society. This is an example of how sales clerks are treated like shit in our society.