So I'm traveling with the three other PM guys through Ecuador right now, and we just spent four days in Quito, the capital. While we were there we went out a couple of nights, and met a couple of girls. One of the girls I met I was attracted to and enjoyed her company.
Now what's happened in the past when I've traveled is that I seldom meet girls I'm attracted to, but when I do I'm really into them and I get invested fast. This last happened to me about a month after I arrived in Medellin, and the outcome was ugly enough that it inspired me to write this monster thread: http://postmasculine.com/forum/Thread-Co...-in-dating
Anyway, I think my tendency in the past has been to massively over-invest in the girl and what I want out of our brief encounter. And so when I meet girls traveling I either decide that they have the potential for me to massively over-invest, or I'm not interested at all.
What's happened in Medellin though, and now in Ecuador, is that I'm meeting and hitting on enough women that I'm meeting more of them that I like but I'm not so attracted that I become super invested in them. I.e. I'm becoming more reasonable.
And what happened with this girl in Quito is that I had a moment where I realised I really was only going to see her for one night at most (she ended up not showing up to our date, but that's largely irrelevant to this). And I thought about this for a minute and had a realisation:
No matter how enjoyable our night was, no matter if we slept together or not and no matter how deep our connection was, it wasn't going to significantly change anything beyond that night.
Even if it had been an incredible night, I realised that it couldn't give me any of the things I'd been searching for from women in the past; a lasting sense of fulfillment, happiness, or self-esteem. It could be an enjoyable night, and one I cherished the memory of, but likely no more. Even if she had caused me to see things about myself or the world I had never seen before, and changed me as a person, she still couldn't give me those things. Even if we had more fun than I'd ever had before, or the experience was more intense than anything I'd ever experienced, it couldn't give me those things.
It was quite a powerful moment, and I think I've seen something I've needed to see for a while (and been looking for), and need to see more of in future.
I want to continue to meet beautiful women, and enjoy my time with them, but I know there are things these experiences with them can never give me. And actually, knowing that will make them that more enjoyable for us both.