Should I Use Body Language Cues?

[Traindom]

Hello guys. Recently I visited a relative back in Los Angeles and I got some interesting feedback about the way I address myself to people. I tend to bow and nod my head repeatedly with a smile whenever I introduce myself. I've had some subconscious idea that I did this, but I didn't see it until my sister told me.

Now here's the issue. I asked myself, "Why do I nod my head incessantly and put on a weak smile?" I bluntly answered, "Because I don't want to push people away," which can be read as "I want people to like me." I know that I have this problem, but I'm troubled as to how I should approach it. Is it okay to implement mental cues to subdue my body language, or would it be undesirable to kinda "fake it until you make it?"

I know that this problem is a symptom of my need to have people like me though, and I will work on my self-esteem and confidence. But is it okay to remind myself to stand up straight, control my head, and relax my body language?

Something that just occurred to me as another alternative: Is it even more effective to adopt a mindset of "I want people to like me, but I don't need them to like me?"

I am glad though that I was able to ask myself why I did something subconsciously and arrive at a reasonable answer.

[Mark]

Quote:I know that this problem is a symptom of my need to have people like me though, and I will work on my self-esteem and confidence. But is it okay to remind myself to stand up straight, control my head, and relax my body language?

Of course. You can attack these things from both angles. You can consciously fix them when you notice them, and focusing on your self-esteem and confidence will naturally improve them as well. We all have little ticks though. I still have a bad habit of biting my cuticles when I'm really deep in thought. Been trying to stop for years.

Unless it's a really goofy head nod, I don't know how major of an issue it is. It may just be a classic case of a sibling being obnoxious and nitpicking your habits.

[Traindom]

Thanks for the clarification, Mark. And it is pretty goofy, apparently. My mother was a good fifty paces away and she said she saw me bob my head a lot haha. My sister said I looked like a dolphin diving and ascending; this could be that obnoxious factor you speak of though heh.

[Mark]

lol... obnoxious, but legitimate it seems.

[Traindom]

Yeah, but I'm glad my family caught it. I've had some little ticks like moving the lips when nervous but I've always been able to work it out.

Be sure to get a good manicure in Colombia. I only have had one manicure (in Colombia, coincidentally) without the paint and it was nice not to have my nails wreak havoc on my fingertips since I do a crap job of trimming them. It was even worse when I was on Accutane. There wasn't a day I didn't feel a hint of pain.