Self-Esteem shouldn't be circumstantial, right?

[Leo]

Well, it seems to be circumstantial to me. I've become aware lately about this tendency I have to have high self-esteem with girls that I "perceive" to be somehow "inferior" to me in the scales of: hotness, social status, income, education, etc. Of course if I "perceive" a girl to be "inferior" to me in those scales I act with a lot of confidence, I don't care about the outcome, I'm more aggressive, etc. But if I "perceive" a girl to be "superior" to me in those scales, well my "self-esteem" is not that high, I feel somewhat "inferior" and of course the girl sense this, I act needy and "lose" her. I was thinking about this and my self-esteem is really shitty (it hurts), I can't be a guy with high self-esteem with girls that I "perceive" to be inferior to me and low self-esteem with girls that I "perceive" to be superior to me, it doesn't make sense at all because by definition self-esteem should come from within of myself, no matter with what person I'm interacting, I can't put my value as a person in somebody else's hands, and of course if I do that my value as a person is gonna be in high risk if I interact with women that I perceive to be "superior" to me in those scales mentioned above. So, what to do when I interact with a girl that makes more money than me, that's hotter than me, that's younger than me, that's more educated than me, etc? Well, I suppose my self-esteem CAN'T change, that's what makes a man attractive, that's what makes ANY person attractive. But at the same time society values: social status, education, age, etc. I'm confused!

[Tobias]

You don't need self-esteem as the following argues http://www.selfdeterminationtheory.org/S...mentPI.pdf

[Mark]

Self confidence is circumstantial. Self esteem is not.

At least according to classic psychological definitions.

[Leo]

So, in that case I'm behaving based in my limiting beliefs. Because a girl is hotter than me; I can't date her, (false; I've seen a lot of ugly guys dating hot girls) because a girl makes more money than me she's not gonna go out on dates with me (false), because a girl is younger than me I'm not gonna be able to date her (maybe it's gonna be harder; but not impossible), etc. Based in those beliefs I act like a weirdo, lose my cool and "lose" the girl, reinforcing the fucking limiting beliefs. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy. It's incredible how your mind can help you or ruin you. You decide what you believe and behave accordingly. Geez!
I can't believe how important is self-awareness, I wasn't even aware of these thoughts until few days ago.