(12-23-2012 03:28 AM)CartesianTheater Wrote: I get really frustrated because, you know, I'm trying to improve, and I'm doing a good job, I've improved my life immensely over the past couple of years but it gets really hard, and starts to feel like I'm chasing my tail, and nobody cares if I make it or not. Sometimes I need some support and there's nobody there, I don't really know how to stay motivated. It just seems like it's always been a certain way for me and it's hard to imagine it being different. Which is what I would say to the solutions you give. I don't really have a reference of people being beautiful or kind to me, quite the opposite really, so the thought patterns don't seem irrational. It kind of seems irrational to believe something that's contrary to my experience. I want to change, I want to see things different but it kind of feels like lying to myself and setting myself up to be blindsided at some point in the future.
1. It's not that "nobody cares". In fact, the most important person in the world cares: YOU. That's the only person who needs to care. Your happiness and success are YOUR responsibility. That's how it is for everyone. If you keep needing others to care for you, you'll always remain enslaved to their whims. You'll be happy only when they allow you to be happy.
2. The belief that people are beautiful and wonderful must come first. The belief has to precede the evidence. And I don't fully buy your "people have never been kind to me" thing. I think you're only focusing on the times when people were unkind, rather than focusing on the times they were kind. Whether or not you realize it, you're making a choice on which aspect of this complex world you should focus on. I'm telling you to choose to focus on the beautiful - even if, right now, it seems there's no evidence for it. The evidence comes later (credit: Steve Pavlina)
3. You used the word "feels like" and it's correct. Because all this negative stuff you're experiencing, that's all it is: a feeling. Your mind, however, takes this feeling and makes you think that feelings have some objectivity tied to them. Not at all. The same exact event can happen to two people, a pessimist and an optimist, they'll both interpret it vastly differently. Do you see?
4. Right now: even if you don't believe me, even if everything I've said seems hard and silly to practice, I encourage to just try it for the next 6 months. That's a minuscule fraction of your life. Just try, with every ounce of willpower you've got, (1) to believe the world is 100% on your side, (2) to understand that your happiness is your responsibility, and no matter what, you're going to try everyday to make it happen. Do this for 6 months and tell us how it goes.
You're at the beginning of a great journey.