Question on article "A New Masculinity"

[Pineapple]

I apologize if this is the wrong subforum for this.

Mark, after you talk more about being sensitive/vulnerable around women you say

Quote:Sidenote: this was not merely a social experiment on my part but a conscious desire as well. I had been getting tired of the typical aggressive, overly-sexual one-night-stand-type interactions I had been having regularly and was looking for something more intimate and substantial.":

I'm curious on how you personally changed your behaviour from cocky/aggressive to sensitive/vulnerable. Was it the realization that being cocky/aggressive wasn't truly expressing yourself? This may have been answered or alluded to in other articles, I'd just like some clarification.

Link for convenience: http://postmasculine.com/a-new-masculinity

[Mark]

Check out the series on emotional needs...

http://postmasculine.com/emotional-needs-part-1

But think of it this way:

Emotional needs --> Outer behavior --> Type of pick up/interaction --> quality of the relationship you get

Examples:

1. Need for validation/physical gratification --> aggressive/cocky --> Superficial/highly sexual interaction --> casual sex relationships.

2. Need for intimacy --> sensitive/vulnerable --> intimate/strong connections --> meaningful relationships with more implied commitment.

Interestingly, the people don't really change... I stay the same and the girls more or less stay the same, but we're simply meeting different emotional needs... connecting on a different emotional level one could say.

[Pineapple]

Thanks for the link to that series, I must have missed it the first time.

I believe that deep-down I have a bigger need for intimacy, but I've noticed that when my sex drive is in full force (thanks to no-porn) my need for validation/physical gratification takes over. Maybe because this actually is a dominant need for me and I'm not fully aware of it? Its hard to say since my sex-drive is still inconsistent.

I'll be sure to do what you said in Part 3 (questioning myself, etc) to hopefully get an answer to this.