Question about article "just be yourself"

[Jockeost]

So I read this article "Just be yourself" by Mark.

In there he states, and I quote:

Quote:Instead, she (and every other girl on Earth) is telling you to develop a strong identity and assert the fuck out of it. Decide specifically who you’re going to be – independent of anyone else – and live your life from that perspective. She’s telling you to stop seeking the approval of other people, decide what you are, and discover how to be happy in that. A wonderful exercise is to imagine the guy you want to be –remember, independent of women – and fill a page with descriptions of his behaviors, his looks, his vibe.

What does that guy look like? He’s probably in shape. He probably dresses sharp. He’s probably relaxed, confident, and has a great sense of humor. He probably has hobbies he’s dedicated to and feels quite strongly about his mission in life. He challenges himself to new heights in his career. He’s comfortable sharing himself and his opinions but doesn’t impose them in a way that is validation-seeking. He probably socializes and is friendly, even when he doesn’t feel like it. He’s aware of his emotions, but screens them before acting on the destructive ones. He’s not ashamed of his sexuality and unapologetically expresses his desires in a socially intuitive way. He’s probably unreactive and lives in the moment, unworried if any particular girl called or texted him back. He’s a leader of himself, not a follower of anyone else’s standard. He’s a pioneer. He’s relaxed. Most of all, he values his time greatly and spends each day as if it were his last, free of both guilt and worry.

So basicly, I should write down a paper on what kind of person I want to be, and then assert the fuck out of it, and dont care (more than being considerate) if she likes it or not, its like a "this is who I am" -attitude.

I guess Im correct this far.

However, doesnt this develop some kind of ego? Doesnt that fuck you up? Cause you cant really define yourself in terms like that cause its not your .. "true inner self" ?, Its just an illusion, or am I wrong?

This might sound messed up, but I read another PU guru saying that self-image is just an illusion which holds us from acting in the moment[/quote] and we shouldnt take it seriously.

[Mark]

I don't buy into the whole "non-ego" nonsense... It's impossible to eliminate your ego, it's hard-wired into us, and for good reason, it keeps us alive. The key is to not identify your self-identity purely with your ego.

But that aside. I've never understood the people who give dating advice based on spirituality. I think they're totally mixed up. There is nothing spiritual about trying fuck a bunch of women. Anyone who thinks so has got a screw loose. If anything, trying to fuck women and get dates is a very base and primal drive, not a spiritual one.

So yeah...

[Jockeost]

Thanks for your reply!

So self-identity isnt the same as ego?

[Mark]

More or less, yeah. Your identity is constructed by what you choose to derive validation from. Your ego your self-perception and your need for validation. So yeah, they're very, very similar.

[Chaos]

(05-22-2012 07:39 PM)Mark Wrote:  There is nothing spiritual about trying fuck a bunch of women. Anyone who thinks so has got a screw loose. If anything, trying to fuck women and get dates is a very base and primal drive, not a spiritual one.

Talk for yourself Mark, mines are always screaming "Oh my god, Oh my god", that has to mean something!!

[Jockeost]

So basicly what ur saying is build your ego stronger (as in, as you want to view yourself) ?

[Zac]

I'm not going to speak for Mark but I kind of think that it's good to be aware of your ego, let it do what it does, but not let it get out of hand. It exists for a reason but it should not dictate your life, just help push you in the right directions.

[Mark]

(05-22-2012 11:23 PM)Jockeost Wrote:  So basicly what ur saying is build your ego stronger (as in, as you want to view yourself) ?

Not your ego, your identity. Express your identity in stronger and bolder ways.